


The New World

by tineyninja



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Bottom Hatake Kakashi, Dark, Drama, Emotional, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Jealousy, Love, Loyalty, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suspense, Uke Hatake Kakashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 45
Words: 89,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tineyninja/pseuds/tineyninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke defeats Naruto and proclaims himself Hokage. In Sasuke's new world where does Kakashi fit in? Sasuke knows where he wants him, that's for sure. But what if someone else has feelings for the one the new Hokage proclaims as his?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The New World
> 
> AN and warning: Ok so if you haven't read the latest Naruto at this moment (692) you shouldn't read this story- there will be spoilers!! Do not read beyond this point if you aren't up to date with Naruto 692
> 
> Ok another warning before you read on; this is an M rated story. I have never attempted an M rated one before, especially one with violent scenes and strong lemon so please go easy on me haha! It is yaoi (eventually- this chapter is setting up the story)- please don't flame me, I warned you! I will also put warnings above every chapter depending on what’s in each chapter. 
> 
> I wanted to write this idea after reading the most recent Naruto chapter, and also a couple of other fics I read kind of inspired this. There’s a good one on fanfiction.net called Torn Leaf by Winterer. And another one on the website, Archive of our Own with a similar theme. That one is called Hopelessly by MisatosPenPen.
> 
> Sasuke will be an absolute asshole in this story so if you’re a huge Sasuke fan girl who thinks he is a nice guy then read with caution. Sorry, he just always seemed like a little shit to me! And I think the best Sasuke fics I've read is when he has been a dominating bastard.
> 
> Also in this story there is a major character death.
> 
> I've got to be honest in that I think this fic will be hard to write and I haven't wrote anything like this before so I am a bit worried about putting this up on the internet. But here goes nothing!

"And then we come to you, Sasuke."

The Sage of the Six Paths said this calmly, watching the raven haired young man.

"I suppose so." The teen's eyes took on a demonic look. His moment was finally here. "But first... I'm going to kill the five kages that are still inside the infinite tsukuyomi!"

The silence was shocked, painful. Kakashi was the first to speak after.

"What did you just say?"

Sasuke may be stronger than Kakashi now, but he wasn't afraid of him. He had lived through two wars and stood against many terrifying enemies, including Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. Sasuke was just an arrogant brat, with too much power for one so immature. He let emotions rule him. Not obviously like Naruto, but Sasuke gave into his darker emotions, arrogance and revenge being prime examples.

Sasuke had a mad gleam in his eyes, carried away with his own threats. But he looked at Kakashi then, and he knew that Kakashi was not afraid of him. Sasuke was irritated by this and Kakashi felt an intensity in his gaze. Kakashi had already faced death and had just lost his best friend for the second time. He had lost so many dear to him for the sake of peace. He would not lose to Sasuke now. 

Especially not with Naruto by his side. Somehow Kakashi had known it would always come down to this. It saddened Kakashi that two best friends would have to fight like this that Naruto had to shoulder such a burden for the sake of the world. But Kakashi believed in the boy entrusted with jinchuriki chakra, his dear sensei's son, and he knew they would win.

Naruto would always win. Believe it!

 

***

 

Suddenly the odds seemed stacked against them. Sasuke used the new power of the rinnegan to put all the tailed beasts under his control.

"What I want is... revolution!"

This shocked Kakashi. Sasuke had gone beyond his obsessive revenge into something much worse and much more ruthless. His plans affected the entire shinobi world. They had to stop him. As much as Kakashi hated the idea, Naruto had to be the one to stop him. Now that Kakashi had lost the power of Obito's sharingan, he didn't know how much use he would be. But he had to try to help in any way he can.

"And now everyone who would have been in my way is gone... except you Naruto."

So Sasuke really was prepared to kill his onetime best friend and team mate. Kakashi sighed. It really had to be this way then.

 

***

 

Naruto fought hard. He fought valiantly. But Sasuke had inherited the sharingan and the rinnegan. It was never going to be an easy fight but Kakashi had believed, really believed that Naruto would be the victor, even with the tailed beasts obeying Sasuke's every whim.

Naruto had told Sakura and Kakashi to keep out of it. "This is between me and Sasuke."

Kakashi nodded and patted the blond boy on the shoulder. "I understand. Good luck Naruto. Your father would be proud. He was proud of you. And so am I. I was blessed to have you as a student."

Naruto sniffed suddenly, his eyes full of emotion once again. "Ah come on, sensei, save the mushy stuff for later, when we have saved Grandma-Tsunade and the others."

"Yes, you're right." Kakashi smiled and ruffled his hair while Sasuke watched them with contempt. Kakashi couldn't believe what a cold bastard he had become. Sakura was crying and hugging Naruto. She pleaded with Sasuke to stop, to come back to the village with them and live happily ever after. 

After all this time she still loved him. Even after what he had become.

Sasuke laughed, an evil, chilly laugh. Before Kakashi or Naruto could stop her, Sakura ran forwards and threw herself in front of Sasuke’s feet, wailing, pleading, begging. "Come back, Sasuke. P-P- please! Forget about your anger and come home with us, I-"

Sasuke's hard slap across her face rang out. Angry gasps came from the other two men. 

"Sakura!" they both called. 

Sheer shock stopped her crying as she looked up at the man she loved. Sasuke laughed again and looked at her hurt face with amused eyes.

That was when Kakashi realised that Sasuke harbored contempt for his old team. He blamed them for something and he wanted revenge. In Sasuke's new world, there was no place for Team 7.

"Sakura," Kakashi's voice was low but clear: full of repressed rage. "Get away from him." the tone of Kakashi's voice caused her to turn. She hadn't him speak like that since his fight against the reanimated Zabuza and Haku. When he said he was pissed and going on a rampage.

"Yes Sakura-chan." Sasuke's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Why don't you run back to your sensei. I'm sure he can protect you. Run along and let the big boys play."

She didn't move but gazed up at him. "Sasuke..."

"Now Sakura." Kakashi said firmly.

Slowly, she rose and headed over to him. Kakashi turned to Naruto again. "Don't worry; I will keep her away from the fight."

"Right." Naruto nodded, his face deadly serious. "Kakashi-sensei, promise me you will keep her away at all costs. You will keep her safe from him. Promise me."

"Of course."

"Thank you. I- I still-"

"I know." Kakashi knew what Naruto had been about to say. He had always known. Naruto was still in love with Sakura. But Kakashi cut him off. He didn't want Sasuke to know that. "You have my word Naruto."

"Thank you, Sensei."

"Naruto!" Sasuke called. "Stop talking. Our fight has come, the stage is set. No more delaying our destiny."

"This isn't our destiny. It never had to be this way. You are my friend and you always will be."

Sasuke smirked. "We'll see how you feel after the fight."

 

***

 

Like he promised, Kakashi kept out of the battle. He kept Sakura away too. He held her as she cried, watching her team mates fight to the death. The poor girl had cared for Sasuke all this time only to be rejected again. Kakashi couldn't even say he was disappointed with Sasuke: he was disappointed with himself. If he had been a better sensei, maybe Sasuke wouldn't have turned out like this.

But Kakashi's whole life was full of what ifs. What if Obito hadn't fallen into Mardara's hands? What if Rin and Minato Sensei hadn't died? What if Sasuke hadn't left with Orochimaru?

Now was not the time what ifs or regrets. He had a job to do and he would stake his life to keep his promise. As Sakura broke down, howling onto Kakashi's chest, he saw Sasuke glance in their direction his look unreadable. 

It was an immense fight. Both Sasuke and Naruto used the powers they had inherited from the Sage of the Six Paths. The Jinchuriki were dragged into it to attack Naruto's clones while Sasuke stayed safe in his susanoo. They beat each other with taijutsu, used all their strongest jutsu attacks. Naruto even tried to reason with his former friend. But Sasuke was determined. He had something- fuck knows what- to prove and he would not stop down his destructive path of revolution.

It was hard to keep out the fight. Kakashi had told Obito he would protect the current Naruto and here he was standing on the sidelines. But he had promised Naruto he would protect Sakura- could he do both? 

It was time to make a decision. Naruto was losing. He was weak, drained of chakra and outnumbered. He was too exhausted to make anymore clones.and Sausake... he was damn tired that was for sure, but he was nowhere near as tired as Naruto. He had the upper hand.

Kakashi was struggling to comprehend it. He had been so sure it would Sasuke struggling against Naruto's sheer determination and enthusiasm. But now...

All of Kakashi's attention was on the two boys. Naruto was on the ground, Sasuke approaching him with a smirk. The fight wasn't over yet, but it wasn't looking good. Kakashi wasn't whether to break his word and jump into the fray. He was clenching his fists so hard his nails dug into his palms and drew blood.nhe didn't notice Sakura until it was too late.

She had run at Sasuke and attacked with all her might. The Uchiha noticed in time and barely evaded her punch. Her fist hit the ground, causing it to crack.

Naruto, crumpled and bleeding, looked up at the scene before him. "Sakura no!"

Kakashi ran forwards. "Come back Sakura!"

Sasuke made his counter. With a chidori sword, he ran for the girl. She may have been strong, but she was nowhere near as fast as Sasuke. She tripped in her haste to retreat and gain some ground. Sasuke was relentless. He was soon in front of her, his lightning sword aiming to kill. This time she didn't weep. She froze.

"Nooo!"

Naruto pushed her out the way. Sasuke's attack ripped him instead, right through his chest. Right through his heart. He died almost instantly choking up blood from his throat. Sakura held his hand in his final seconds, screaming. Sasuke stood numbly, surprised. He had wanted to kill Naruto, but he had not expected the fight to end that way.

Sakura stoked Naruto's hair and held his bleeding and lifeless body to her. Kakashi reached them and stood stupidly next to the scene. Hi own eyes leaked with grief. He couldn't accept what had happened. Not Naruto. The boy so... As cliché as it sounded, he was so full of life. It seemed unreal to see him limp, bleeding and not breathing, in Sakura's arms.

And it was all his fault. He had broken his promise- again. He hadn't kept Sakura safe. If he had, Naruto may not have died. Self loathing and grief seeped into his every pore.

The minutes passed. In their grief Kakashi and Sakura had almost forgotten the Uchiha. Until he spoke.

"It's over."

Rage filled Kakashi. He span and faced his enemy, the one who did this. "Oh no, do not think for a second that this is over. I will stop you."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow disbelievingly. The evil smirk was back. Did the boy feel no remorse?

"Huh. You and I both know that won't happen. My powers were already out of your league to begin with, and now you've lost your sharingan as well. Now, Kakashi, surrender to me. Accept me as your hokage and your master."

Sakura spat at him. "We will never surrender to you!" 

Kakashi couldn't help but smile at her courage. She was finally standing up to Sasuke. "You heard her."

They took a battle stance. 

"Sakura," Kakashi said. "Take Naruto's body and go."

"No Kakashi-sensei. I'm going to help you. I'm going to fight."

"Sakura, go!"

Sasuke made an amused noise. "You really think you can fight me on your own Kakashi?"

"Yes."

"Kakashi-sensei, I won't leave you!"

"How touching," Sasuke laughed.

"Sakura, I appreciate your help and your loyalty, I really do. But I made a promise to Naruto, that I would protect and keep you safe from Sasuke. And I will keep that at all costs. Even if it means my death." He threw her a serious look. "Whatever happens to me, remember that Naruto gave his life to protect you, and you owe him that. So whatever happens you must survive Sakura. You must. If I lose, surrender to Sasuke."

"Who says there's a place for her in my new world?"

Kakashi just glared at him. "She isn't a threat to you, Sasuke. And you owe Naruto that much. Do not insult his memory. I will do anything to protect her now, Naruto's wish is my legacy to him."

"Oh really? Surely in the interests of protecting her, you can surrender then?"

Kakashi nodded at Sakura to go. She nodded back, picked up Naruto and jumped away to a safe distance.

"The best way to protect her and the kage, is to stop you."

"You truly mean what you said? You will do anything to protect her?"

Kakashi hesitated. Why did this mean anything to Sasuke. "Yes."

"How... interesting."

And just like that the fight began. Sasuke attacked. Kakashi dodged. He hadn't let his guard down, knowing the boy wanted blood. His blood currently.

Kakashi gave it his all. He used clones, chidori, all the jutsu he could muster. It was no use. He was out matched by his former student. What was Obito thinking, Kakashi would have turned out to be an awful hokage?

Kakashi was exhausted, panting. He crouched on the floor. He could barely move. But again he stood and took a defensive stance. His reactions were too slow though. He didn’t see Sasuke come up behind him. The young man grabbed him and pushed to the floor on his stomach.

Kakashi couldn't see his face, but knew he must have been smirking, relishing having his former sensei pinned down. He had quit obviously surpassed Kakashi now.

However, what Kakashi couldn't see was the heat in the raven haired boy's eyes. He enjoyed seeing Kakashi like this, overpowering the man, more than Kakashi would realise.

"Mmm Sensei," he said in a low voice, his mouth at Kakashi's ear. His hot breath tickled the older man. "I could get used to this. Maybe there will be a place for you in my new world after all..."

Before Kakashi could react or say anything, he felt whack on his head and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second chapter. Again not particularly lemony but it is building up to it. I’m note how anyone feel about this fic yet so thought I would put another chapter up to test the waters… Any suggestions for the story, please let me know, always happy to consider ideas from readers.

Kakashi wished he had never woken up. For when he did it was in this cruel new world of Sasuke's. He was on his own bed, but everything felt different somehow. His mind was hazy and he didn't instantly remember what had happened but his head hurt like hell and Sakura was sat on a still beside his bed, his hand in hers. 

She was calm, poised, but her eyes looked red and tired. She had been distressed as had Kakashi slept, oblivious to her cries.

"Sakura, what's..."

That's when it all came flooding back to him. His own tears fell then. Kakashi never cried and hated crying in front of others, especially one of his students. But the memory of the death of his student, his ever cheerful and lively knuckle-headed student, hit him hard.

"Naruto..." he mumbled to himself, almost forgetting Sakura was still with him.

"I know, Sensei," she sniffed. "I wish things had been different."

Kakashi sighed. "I suppose you had better tell me what happened. Though I get the feeling I would have been happier not knowing?"

Sakura laughed bitterly. Kakashi tensed. Things must be bad then. He almost wished he had never woken up, that Sasuke had killed him too. But he had made a promise and Sakura needed someone, even if it was a beaten and broken sensei. And besides, she was one of the few people he had left that he loved. Despite everything, he was proud of her and proud of the women she had grown into. She was a highly skilled medical nin and powerful. Not as powerful as Sasuke or Naruto, but like so many others she hadn't inherited any extraordinary powers. She had trained hard and learnt everything herself, with no sharingan or tailed beast chakra to help her. Kakashi respected her for that.

Kakashi squeezed her hand. "Go on."

"Right," she took a breath. "A lot happened after you..."

"Was defeated?" Kakashi asked. There was no point even trying to spare his feelings. He didn't think he could ever feel any worse than he did now.

Sakura blushed. "Yes." She held onto his hand more firmly. Kakashi knew what was about to come wouldn't be good. "He killed the five kage... I- I wanted to, st- stop him I swear but-"

"Don't worry, Sakura. I'm glad you didn't. I don't know what I'd do if I had woken to find he had killed you too. I'm happy you’re still with me." He reached out and wiped her tears. He didn't want her to go through the painful memories all over again, but he needed to know what had happened, what Sasuke had done.

Sakura sat on the edge of the bed and Kakashi pulled her to him. She cried onto his chest and he held her.

"He killed them. Without even allowing them to defend themselves. They were still under it, the-"

"The infinite tsukiyomi?" Kakashi was disgusted. It wasn't even a fair fight. That was just like Sasuke, not to risk himself while weakened from his previous fights.

Sakura wailed and cried some more before continuing. "Kakashi-sensei, I'm so sorry. After he- I-"

"Calm down Sakura. Take a breath."

She sat up on the edge of the bed and looked at her sensei. "He ordered me to heal him... He said he would kill you and my friends one by one if I didn't..."

Kakashi patted her shoulder from where he lay. "You did the right thing. It's not your fault."

She sniffed. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei."

"If you refused he would have killed you. And many others. We already lost this war. No one coming out of the tsukiyomi would have had the strength to take him on. So I take it he released the tsukiyomi after that?"

"He killed those closest to some of the kage too first. He said he would douse the flames of revenge. He killed Shizune, Temari, Kankuro, even Killer Bee."

"Oh kami..." Kakashi breathed. "Has he gone insane? So much death..."

"I know. I just can't believe Sasuke could be capable of this."

"Actually, I think we are lucky he stopped there in all honesty. He could have taken his full revenge on the leaf."

"But why?" Sakura wailed. "Why would he do this?"

Kakashi sighed. "Did anyone ever tell you the truth behind Itachi and the Uchiha massacre?"

"Sasuke forced the elders to announce it before he executed them. That was only a this morning, when we arrived back at the Leaf Village. We all know what they made Itachi do."

"I see."

"But why would he want to destroy the leaf? We didn't do it, we didn't know!"

"Yes but he hates us all for not knowing, for being happy and safe at the cost of Itachi's life and Itachi's happiness. He most likely doesn't think we deserve Itachi's sacrifice. So now we will suffer Sasuke’s hate."

"But all that hate..."

"I know," Kakashi nodded solemnly. "So after everyone woke from the tsukiyomi?"

"Sasuke addressed everyone left in the shinobi world. He told that he was our savior and stopped Kaguya and Madara single handedly. He told them he had annihilated all those who threatened the peace of the new world, including the kage, Madara and Naruto. He used his chakra to levitate the bodies high and show them.

"Then he proclaimed himself the Supreme Hokage and said that all those who kneeled before him had a place in his reign of peace. Those who refused would suffer the same fate as the kage. He said there would be no more wars in his world and he would keep the peace between all the great villages and the smaller ones."

"Shit... and they were all too weak to fight, having had their chakra sucked away. I bet his promises for peace sounded too tempting for some after all that has happened during this last war. Many must have already given up before he finished speaking at the sight of the dead kages and Naruto. Sasuke’s peace will be built on fear." 

"Yes, I think you’re right, Kakashi-sensei. He forced to me share my chakra and help heal Kabuto, Orochimaru, Suigetsu, Juugo and that bitch Karin. I didn't have the energy to fully heal them, but it was enough for them to round up their prisoners. So any who refused the bend the knee... they were all killed." she paused and made a disgusted grunt. "And in the name of peace too. Poor Kiba refused... And he..."

Kakashi was horrified. He had never dreamed that Sasuke's revolution would lead to the deaths of so many.

"Is he really working with Orochimaru? After attempting to kill him before?" 

"Yes they seem to have made some sort of truce. Orochimaru works with Sasuke and keeps the peace- everyone fears the snake sanin just as much as Sasuke- and Sasuke will turn a blind eye to his experiments in return. I only know because captain Yamato was taken again to the Sand Village: that is where Orochimaru and Kabuto are based and rule it there on Sasuke’s behalf. Some of Sasuke and Orochimaru's old followers have been offered posts in the other villages. None are referred to as kage of course, only Sasuke; and they report to him. He controls them and rules the entire shinobi world now. Or what's left of it anyway."

Kakashi was stunned. He knew what Sakura had to say wouldn't be good but this was extreme. The whole world was ruled and oppressed by the angry and vengeful Uchiha... But if it meant that there would be no more wars… Kakashi didn’t know what was worse, the war ravaged world he grew up in, or being oppressed by a single dictator. Only time would tell now.

Kakashi looked at the pink haired girl. "I suppose the biggest concern now is... Why did he let us live?"

Sakura fell silent for a moment. "I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't see us as a threat anymore?"

"Or maybe it's something more. I don't know but I have the feeling he wants something from us..."

Sakura shuddered. "Kakashi-sensei, I'm scared." She leaned forwards and hugged him again.

"Don't worry, Sakura," Kakashi hugged her back and stroked her hair. "I'll be here for you. I will protect you, just as Naruto wanted."

He had expected to continue their embrace in the mutual silence as they comforted one another. But a dark voice rang out from the shadows. "How very touching."

Kakashi and Sakura broke apart. 

"Sasuke!" Kakashi's eyes narrowed.

"What's wrong sensei, not pleased to see me?"

"What do you want?" 

Sasuke laughed at how tense his former team mates were. He took much pleasure in how scared Sakura was of him. At least she wasn't fawning over him anymore. But Kakashi... Even after all Sasuke had done, after how many he had killed, even after defeating Kakashi, the silver haired man wouldn't show his fear. But he would soon enough. Sasuke would break him, eventually. Sasuke smiled at the thought.

"I just wanted to check on my old friends, and see how you're doing sensei."

Kakashi tried not to wince at the sarcastic use of his title. Sasuke had never called him sensei as a child, and whenever he used it now, it never meant anything good. 

"We're fine," Kakashi snarled. "Now get out." This was Kakashi's home and he wanted Sakura safe here. 

"Is that any way to speak to your new Hokage?" When Kakashi and Sakura said nothing, just eyed him warily, Sasuke continued. "I am here to see you bow to me, and accept me as your ruler. Now get up."

They both stood. Kakashi's eyes bored into Sasuke's defiantly. "Not you, Sakura. I have already had you on your knees. It's Kakashi's turn."

Kakashi glared at the boy. He didn't kneel. "You may have taken the world by force and rule now, but you will never be what a true Hokage stands for-"

A knee slammed into Kakashi's stomach, making him bend over and clutch his stomach. Sasuke had moved so quickly. His hand pushed Kakashi down to his knee. "I knew you would see reason, sensei," Sasuke laughed. 

Sakura gasped. "Sasuke, please don't hurt him!"

The dark haired man finally looked at her cooly. "Sakura, I have a position for you. You will be in charge of running the hospital. There are many war casualties still from all over. Go help them. Your staff have already been informed of your arrival. That is your place in the new time of peace."

She looked at Kakashi worriedly, not sure whether to leave her injured sensei with him. "Yes, Sasuke...sama."

Sasuke smirked. "Well what are you waiting for? Do not make me regret my decision. You two have both attempted to kill me up till now, and you are both lucky to be left alive."

"What about Kakashi-sensei? Can I take him to the hospital to finish recovering?"

"No. Kakashi will rest here until he is better. His injuries aren’t so bad he requires a place there. And I don’t want him distracting you from your duties. When he is recovers he will work directly for me." He turned back to the man on the floor who was holding his stomach still. Kakashi felt the Uchiha's gaze. He looked up again at him to meet it and was surprised by the intensity behind it. If Kakashi didn't know any better he would say there was a heat behind it. Kakashi looked away.

"You will report to me in a week's time Kakashi. I want you at your full strength." 

Sasuke smiled then and Kakashi thought that whatever the boy wanted him at full strength for couldn't be a good thing. He repressed a shudder.

Sasuke walked towards the door, pausing to look back Kakashi over his shoulder. "I will see you in a week, Kakashi."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is my third chapter in what I think is like an apocalyptic Konoha with an angry Uchiha in charge! I haven’t had many reviews yet so I am hoping readers are enjoying this somewhat. I have enjoyed planning and writing this so far anyway.

Kakashi reluctantly took the young ruler’s advice and rested over the next week. His head did hurt and he had used a lot of chakra and energy during the war. At the ripe old age of 30 he already felt too old for the shinobi life style. Perhaps he would be able to retire if Sasuke really did manage to keep the peace. After all, if their ruler was their dictator and enemy at least the different villages wouldn’t be fighting each other anymore: they would be united in their hate for Sasuke.

Although he had slept since being knocked out in battle, Kakashi slept a lot more that day after his two former students left him to it in his apartment. Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder just why Sasuke needed him at full strength and dreaded the possible reasons at the same time. He really didn’t feel like being forced back in a type of ANBU or being some sort of body guard. He also feared Sasuke would set him tasks or missions that involved assinating Sasuke’s enemies- some of which could be Kakashi’s friends. 

Sakura visited Kakashi that night and brought him some fruit to help replenish him. She was a sweet girl and once again Kakashi was struck by well she was keeping herself together all things considered. Yes, she had cried a lot but she had always been quite emotional; and the love of your life murdering your best friend and then humiliating you was something that warranted emotion, even if she was a shinobi. Kakashi had long passed the days when he believed shinobi should act that emotionless robots, carrying out missions pretending they didn’t care. Not that he showed much of his feelings himself. It was stupidly ingrained in him not to since childhood.

Sakura stayed and sat beside Kakashi well into the night. They both read, him Icha Icha (though he didn’t really have the heart for it at the moment, but what else was there to do?) and she a magazine. When it reached midnight she rose to leave.

“Kakashi-sensei, it’s late, I had better go.”

“Oh?” Kakashi bit his lip beneath the mask. He didn’t want her to go; he didn’t want the loneliness to return. He feared the dead would come to him in his dreams.

She hesitated. “Yes... I should really. I have an early start tomorrow.”

AH- the hospital. Kakashi wondered who had landed themselves in there. Gai must have after using the right gates. That had to be the reason his eternal rival hadn’t been to see Kakashi yet.

“Well my flat is closer to the hospital, isn’t it? You could stay...”

She turned her worried gaze on her sensei. She nodded. “Sure, sensei. I can sleep on the sofa.”

“Oh no, have my bed, please. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I have been in this damned thing for days.”

She chuckled. “That’s because you are injured and recovering! I wouldn’t dream of taking a patient’s bed- what kind of nurse would I be?”

“So you’re here as a nurse?”

“No, I am here as your friend!”

They both fell silent then. Niether of them had ever referred to the other as a ‘friend’. They had always been sensei and student. In the time since Naruto and Sasuke had left the village they had grown closer. Since the war they had overstepped the line of colleagues into something else. Sakura had finally set what Kakashi never had: the girl was more than his student now. She was his friend. He looked to her for company almost as much as Gai. Not that he really sought Gai’s company: Gai always found him.

Before Tenzou had been taken, he and Kakashi had also been friends... no he couldn’t think of him now, taken to the sand village to have kami only knows what experiments done to him. He only hoped Sasuke had put some limits in place on the snake sanin and his assistant.

He tried to rid himself of such thoughts and gave Sakura’s hand a squeeze. “Yes, one of my few. Thank you, Sakura. For everything. I am glad I woke up to find you beside me. This new world holds little else for me. The old world didn’t have much more. You’ve grown into a fine woman and a strong kunoichi.”

She blushed at the compliment. “Thank you...Kakashi-kun.”

They both giggled at his new title before she grabbed some spare blankets and settled in the next room. “If you need me I’ll be out here. Goodnight, Kakashi.”

“Goodnight, Sakura.”

 

***

The rest of the week was dull. But Kakashi was grateful he didn’t have to go to Sasuke yet. The young man unnerved him now, he struggled to see the boy in him he once knew. And the way he’d looked at Kakashi... he couldn’t quite read it but it made him feel ill at ease.

Kakashi didn’t want to stay cooped up in bed either so he went for a walk around the village. Things seemed to be getting back into some kind of rhythm or order. Market stalls were already back and citizens trading. The academy would be re-opening soon- though with an emphasis on self defence rather than attacking since there would supposedly be no more need for children to grow up as weapons to a village. Kakashi wondered how soon it would be until it seemed like the war had never even happened. Until life without a gambling-addict hokage and blond knuckle-head ninja disturbing the peace became normal. He let out a deep sigh.

He decided he would check on Sakura and see what her new post had brought her. He supposed it must be nice to have a place in this world, even if Sasuke had been the one to choose it for her. Kakashi could only hope that his own one would work out. Working directly for Sasuke... what on earth could the boy want him for?

The hospital was hectic, but not as bad now as it must have been when they had first returned from the war, when Kakashi had been asleep. Kakashi vaguely remembered how manic it had been after Pein’s attack on the village. It seemed like half the village had been admitted then.

Sakura was tired but she beamed at his approach. “Kakashi!” She waved. “You won’t believe it- I hadn’t mentioned it before because I didn’t want to worry you- Gai-sensei woke up this morning. He tried to leave to find you, but I erm, had to take precautions in the interest of the patient’s own safety.” She ended on a sheepish note.

“You punched him, didn’t you?”

“He wouldn’t listen to reason!”

“He is too weak to leave the hospital but he was fine to take a knock of the head?”

“On the arm actually! But that besides the point. He had to learn the consequences of trying to escape on my watch. Lee is with him now. You should go join them, he would be happy to see you.”

Kakashi did just that. While Sakura got back to work he headed to where she had pointed him. Gai was in a bed at the far-right end of the room, Lee sat on a stool beside him talking animatedly. There was a photograph of Neji on the windowsill next to the with some incense burning.

Neji. Kakashi thought. Obito had been the one too... how could Gai even look at Kakashi again now, let alone remain friends with him. If Kakashi had stopped Obito when he had the chance Neji would still be...

Gai caught sight of his long term rival and friend. He beamed at him and tears sprung into big eyes beneath a still-hideous bowl cut. The other side of war didn’t make Gai’s hair anymore appealing. Kakashi smiled, glad to see some familiarity in his friend’s whacky style.

“Rival!” Gai bellowed, causing the other patient’s to grimace. 

“Gai.” Kakashi smiled and plonked himself down on the end of his friend’s bed. 

Gai pulled him into a hug that should have been so tight for man who had been unconscious until only that morning.

“How are you, rival? Are you OK?” Gai started looking at his body and prodding him all over, for some unknown injuries.

“Hey, that should be my line!” Kakashi chuckled. “You’re the one in here, dumb ass.”

Gai smirked. “Ah. You are quite right. If it wasn’t for Naruto...”

Silence fell which was unusual when one spends time with Maito Gai. The bedbound ninja patted Kakashi on the shoulder. Kakashi hugged him. “We have both lost a precious student to this war. May they find happiness in the other world.”

“They sure will,” Gai said confidently. His warmth spread to Kakashi a little then. Kakashi turned to Gai’s other student in the room.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing OK, Lee.”

“Thank you, sir! I am doing what I can to help those who suffered worse injuries than me. Sakura-chan has promised to find me a place here to help out for the time-being.”

“That sounds nice.”

Gai patted Lee on the back proudly. 

“I was hoping to leave here soon, but your pink haired student has other ideas. She won’t sign me out for a while now.”

“Well you body must have taken some damage using the eighth gate...” Kakashi looked other his friend. Gai did indeed seem weak. His breathing seemed laboured and his colour was paler than usual.

“Well have no fear; I won’t doing that again.”

“Good.”

“Or any of the gates for that matter.”

“Oh? Why?”

This was odd. Gai had relied on the gates for years. He had saved Kakashi’s ass countless times in a pinch with them.

“Sakura-chan says that if I use them again...I will die.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened. He looked to Lee who nodded confirmation sadly.

“It’s OK, Kakashi. My insides chakra network was pretty torn up after an attempted suicide move. Maybe it is better this way; I couldn’t rely on them forever, they were damaging my body for years. The springtime of youth had to come to an end...”

“It hasn’t ended yet, believe it!” Kakashi suddenly jumped it, unintentionally sounding like his old student. Gai laughed.

“Maybe you are right. Maybe youth will bloom again. I am still the best Taijutsu mater in Konoha after all. And Iruka has already been by and offered me a place at the academy teaching taijutsu to the young ones. The emphasis is on self-defence now I believe. And civilians can learn that also so I will be teaching them too.”

Kakashi smiled. He was happy for his friend. But he couldn’t help but feel a little lost that they wouldn’t be on missions together anymore. They had made such a great team. Gai had always managed to cheer him up and keep him from losing himself in the dark depression that had constantly threatened to take over in their teenage years.

“Kakashi,” Gai said, suddenly serious. Kakashi looked up at his friend as Lee fluffed his pillows. “I heard about Obito from Sakura. I’m sorry. To lose your best friend all over again...”

“It’s OK. I am still confused about how I should feel in all honesty. And it wasn’t for Obito... Minato-sensei, Kushina-san and Neji...”

“Let’s not go down the path of blame. Sasuke is managing that perfectly well for all of us.”

Kakashi nodded. “I can’t deny that even after all that has happened I still can’t hate Obito. I still love my friend and will always think of him as such.” He paused and met Gai’s eyes. “But you know Gai, you are wrong about one thing.”

“Huh?”

“Obito was never my best friend. That spot was always filled by my eternal rival.”

Kakashi had expected a thumbs up, a crushing hug and river of manly youthful tears. What he didn’t expect was Gai to blush and watch him silently with watery eyes. The silence was soon broken with Rock Lee’s manly tears instead. The boy bowed to Kakashi and shook his hand to commemorate his youthful acknowledgement.

When he calmed down Kakashi turned back to Gai, who was still watching Kakashi. “I will visit again tomorrow and every day until my week is up, with some healthy snacks. You need to get your energy back if you’re gonna get out of Nurse Sakura’s clutches. But no super spicy curry. It’s too soon for that.”

“I look forward to it, rival!” Gai gave him a thumbs up. “And what do you mean ‘when your week is up’? Where are you going?”

Kakashi shrugged and tried to act like it was no big deal. “Sasuke wants me to work directly for him when I’ve fully recovered. No idea what I’ll be doing. I just hope it doesn’t involve long missions, I don’t have the heart for it anymore.”

Lee and Gai exchanged a look.

“A most honourable position, Kakashi-sensei,” Lee bowed again. “It is most worthy being sought after by a Hokage.”

Gai on the other hand watched Kakashi with concerned eyes, a hand scratching his chin. “Just be careful, Kakashi. That boy is ruling on his bitterness and old grudges. Rumour is he is commissioning a huge memorial statue to the slaughtered Uchiha and to Itachi. Try to avoid getting dragged into the boy’s feuds.”

Kakashi nodded. “You don’t have to tell me. I witnessed first-hand what direction his ‘revolution’ was taking when he killed his team-mate and best friend. I don’t know why he allowed me and Sakura to live in all honesty. Somehow I doubt his motives for sparing us were pure.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those reading this :) I hope you like this chapter it building up to some trialling times for poor Kakashi.

Kakashi spent his final evening of freedom helping Gai out of the hospital and to his home. Sakura, Sai, Lee and Ten Ten also came and they had a sought of mini celebration at Kakashi’s recovery and Gai being in his old home again. Having almost destroyed his body beyond repair, Gai was still too weak to do much, but he was at least well enough to rest at home now.

Ten Ten had brought some beers and they all raised their bottle to “youth”. Kakashi vaguely thought that there was no point drinking to anyone’s good health anymore, not when their new roles and lives were so uncertain and depended on the whim their new ruler.

The missing presence of Neji and Naruto also hung over the group as they forced themselves to smile at one another. Kakashi was grateful for his mask.

 

***

 

Kakashi continued to dress in his jonin uniform as he always had. This was the morning he had dreaded. At least the familiar formal comfort of his uniform was another psychological barrier he could use to distance himself from Sasuke. 

As he entered Hokage’s office he saw Sasuke sat lazily with his feet on the desk. He had a smug look on his face that Kakashi would have loved to punch right off. But he didn’t think his new work would be off to a good start if he allowed his emotions to get the better of him.

Kakashi stood in front of the desk, as he done so many times before, with his arms folded and eyebrows raised impatiently. Yet before he had always at least liked and respected the person on the other side of it; something he could no longer say about his ex-student.

Kakashi said nothing, didn’t even clear his throat. He just waited for the boy to bark his orders. There is no way Kakashi would give him the pleasure of bowing or addressing him as a superior. Sasuke smirked from behind the desk, enjoying how “cool” Kakashi was trying to be. Sasuke knew the man was dying to put him out of his misery, but wasn’t stupid enough to start a fight he could not win.

“Kakashi,” Sasuke eventually acknowledged. 

Kakashi said nothing, just watched him with a stone face, giving nothing away.

“I see you have recovered nicely.”

Again he was greeted with that stoney silence.

“I’m glad. I suppose I had better find something for you to do then.”

Kakashi frowned a little; Sasuke didn’t actually have something in mind already? Why the hell was he here then? What was his “job”? Kakashi had assumed he would be Sasuke’s body guard (not that a man who wanted you dead would make a good one) or his assistant at least.

Sasuke laughed at Kakashi’s confusion. 

“Let me give you a run through of my team: Jugo and Suigetsu are my Advisors, not that I really need any, and Karin is my Assistant; though admittedly an annoying one. I have Overseers in each of the other main villages and some over areas of smaller ones. They are all loyal to me- except maybe Orochimaru and Kabuto, but I know how to handle them.

You are not trusted to be a member of my staff. You are too loyal to those other idiots before me-”

“Do not speak ill of the dead.”

It was the first time Kakashi had spoken since entering the office and it was a cold warning. Kakashi accepted that Sasuke was in charge now, but he would not let the boy spit on the graves of his friend, of good men and women who had given their lives to protect the village.

“Hmm, touchy aren’t you? It seems I will need to tame you.”

The retort “for what?” almost came out of Kakashi’s lips. Almost. He really didn’t want to know in all honesty and he certainly wouldn’t give Sasuke an excuse to continue showing his old sensei what a bastard he could be. Kakashi kept his face unresponsive so Sasuke wouldn’t have satisfaction from this conversation. He could fuck with the minds of other shinobi, but not Kakashi.

Sasuke watched him, waiting for something. Whatever it was he didn’t get it so Sasuke stood and set him to work. 

“Clean out the shit from this office. I want all traces of her gone. This is a new era, and nothing from the old one must remain here.” He threw Kakashi a bin bag and wandered out. He didn’t say where he was going but he could hear him saying something to Karin outside. Kakashi was relieved he could relax a little out of the Uchiha’s presence. He got to work.

Kakashi spent a good hour clearing away anything that had belonged to Tsunade. Most of it was just paperwork, stationery she favoured. Some trinkets and cards from the years she had sat here. But Kakashi soon found something hidden that made his heart wrench.

A secret sake set and pack of cards were hidden behind some dusty volumes of books on a shelf. The very cups and cards he had used for one of the “urgent meetings” Tsunade had called him for, when she had given Shizune specific instructions not to interrupt them. Jiraiya had also attended many of these meeting with them. Some of Kakashi’s fondest memories lay with this sake set and cards...

Kakashi felt a pain in his chest and screwed his eyes shut. He wouldn’t cry here of all places, not with Sasuke and his minions nearby. He wouldn’t ever let Sasuke see him cry.

“Oh no, sensei,” a mocking voice came from behind him. “Are you upset?” Kakashi whipped around caught Sasuke watching him. He could have slapped himself for not hearing the Uchiha approach. He had been so caught up in the past. He wondered how long he had been stood staring at the treasured items. Damn. He had really wanted to sneak them out and keep them. Something to remember the old coots by.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Sasuke, full of hate. Hate for the boy who had done this, who had killed their Hokage, his friend. He would never hear that drunken slur again, never hear the fond call of “Oi brat.”

“Hmm, you’re looking tense there Kakashi,” Sasuke continued as he took a step closer. “Maybe I can make it better?” 

Kakashi had finally seen it- he wasn’t imagining things. There was a definite leer on Sasuke’s face. Kakashi mustered up the hardest glare he could and took a step back. He wanted nothing more than to spit on the young ruler. What kind of sick enjoyment was he getting from Kakashi’s pain? It was bad enough he had murdered his friends and loved ones. Yet he wanted to gloat, to rub his power in their faces.

Sasuke took another step toward him. “I think that’s far enough. Let me get back to my so-called work. Don’t you have anything better to do? I had expected Hokages to actually be busy.”

“For you I always have time,” his voice was like silk. He had certainly spent enough time around Orochimaru. Sasuke’s eyes were intense as they looked- well, everywhere. Sasuke looked Kakashi up and down. It unnerved the older man, but he wouldn’t let Sasuke know that. “Seeing you here brings back memories from long ago.” He reached out and trailed one finger up Kakashi’s arm. “Remember when we schemed to see what was behind your mask? Maybe it is time I found out.”

As Sasuke’s finger ran up Kakashi’s face the older jonin grabbed the wrist to stop it.

“That’s far enough. I am not your pet.”

“Oh but you are; and so much more.”

The two stood staring at each other, a battle of wills. There was no way in hell Kakashi would let this teenager play with him. He had dealt with enough shit from him already. No one touched Kakashi’s mask. No one.

Just as Sasuke’s finger twitched again, Karin came bursting through the door screaming “Saaaauske!” She froze at the scene before her and her eyes narrowed vehemently on Kakashi. Sasuke took his hand back.

“Well? What is it?” 

“It’s ah-” her eyes flicked back to Kakashi, quite obviously not wanting him to hear whatever it was. “It’s erm you-know-who. He wants you to send her now.”

Kakashi’s ears perked. Just what were they up to this time? What misery were they about to cause the unknown “her”? If it was Sakura, Kakashi had already made up his mind; he would try to kill Sasuke.

Sasuke huffed. “Not this again. Tell him, I'll think about it later. We have no need for her skills now the chunin exams have been disbanded. No more kids being forced to kill now I’m in charge.Yet I am loathe to give him what he wants so easily.”

Kakashi tensed. Anko. He was considering sending Anko away. The blood left Kakashi’s face. He would bet money where she was being sent and he didn’t want his friend to have to face her past demons again.

“Now that’s settled get out.” Sasuke turned back to Kakashi. 

“Erm...”

“What?” Sasuke was exasperated. Kakashi was actually glad he wasn’t his assistant. He would not have been patient enough to deal with the boy’s mood swings.

“It’s just that... there are some other additional demands from before. Oroch-”

So it was Orochimaru who was requesting Anko’s presence. Kakashi almost shuddered. A bang on the Hokage desk as Sasuke slammed his hand down made the red haired girl jump.

“Do I have to do everything around here?” 

The girl almost whimpered and Kakashi had to stop himself from laughing. Sasuke may have been able to beat him to a pulp but at least he didn’t look that pathetic. 

Sasuke seemed to be able to read his thoughts. He gave Kakashi a look that seemed to say “just you wait...”

The Uchiha Hokage sighed. “Fine. I will come. Kakashi, you’re dismissed for now. Throw that crap away and get out.”

Kakashi didn’t need telling twice. He was more than happy to leave this place. He grabbed the bin bag and jumped through the window of the Hokage’s office. When he was out of sight he took the sake set and cards out the bag, unable to bring himself to throw them away, and headed home.


	5. Chapter 5

As Kakashi made his home, from roof to roof, with his old Hokage’s sake set and playing cards (complete with pictures of naughty ladies; Tsunade had “confiscated” them from Jiraiya) he came to a sudden realisation: he should share a drink to Tsunade with Sakura. She would defiantly be moved to see her medical mentor’s treasured possessions. 

And besides, Kakashi really didn’t want to be alone tonight. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much trouble for the pink haired girl to stay over once again... the meeting with Sasuke today had left him feeling anxious though he wasn’t quite sure why. He had dealt with people trying to peak at his face before, but there was something unnerving- something wrong to him- about Sasuke trying to do it. It wasn’t the same as his childish curiosity, there was something darker lurking there.

Over the past week Sakura had stayed in his flat three times; he hated to admit it but he was starting to need her. She kept his demons at bay. When he felt alone in his home the nightmares kept returning. 

He saw his old team mates, Minato, Jiraiya, Asuma, Shizune, Minato and Naruto dying over and over in his dreams. It had been bad enough seeing Obito die for the second time in the war, but Naruto seemed to have been the final straw to his mental health. There was just something about seeing his beacon of hope murdered in front of him that prevented him from moving on this time. 

Everyone said he still needed time to grieve but Kakashi knew it was more than that. And Gai knew it too; he had seen him after the deaths of Minato and his old team. Minato especially had hit Kakashi hard. Whenever the loud mouth, recovering taijutsu master laid eyes on Kakashi they were full of concern. Not that he would ever say anything in front of their students. And Gai still wasn’t up to any trips outside his house at the moment.

Kakashi had considered staying at Gai’s when Sakura was busy so he wouldn’t be alone but he didn’t want to impose on the man while he was recovering. Gai would insist on trying to be the perfect host for his rival even though he was ill, and Kakashi would do more harm than good.

Having made up his mind, Kakashi changed directions and headed for the hospital. Before he headed to her office he dropped off the bag with Tsunade’s possessions at reception for them to look after; he didn’t want Sakura to see it yet, it was to be a surprise for when she came round later. He found Sakura stressed and holding her head in her hands whilst leaning on her desk. 

“I once knew a cute pink-haired girl whose only worry was how to kiss the moody boy she was infatuated with,” Kakashi said by way of greeting.

She lifted her head and smiled at her old sensei; it didn’t reach her eyes. “Kakashi! Come in.”

He plonked himself down opposite her and sighed.

“How was it?” she asked.

Kakashi shrugged. “Difficult. He is so...”

“Obnoxious?”

“Smug.”

“Ah,” she nodded knowingly. “Yes; he has already been by here today in the morning. He came bearing gifts.” She gestured towards the mountains of paperwork next to her. 

Kakashi raised his brows. “Oh?”

“I know. I could tell he loved ordering me around too.”

“Hmm. Well how about after you are finished today you come round mine for a drink to forget all about this? I have something to show you.” He smiled menacingly, knowing she couldn’t wait for surprises; much like Naruto she would always be bursting to find out. 

Her eyes went wide. “Really?” He could see her itching to demand what it was but knew better; after working with Kakashi for years she knew he would only tease her the more she asked and still not tell her what it was. 

Kakashi watched amused while she had an internal battle with her curiosity. “Well Sakura-chan?” he beamed.

She glanced worriedly at the paperwork, then back at Kakashi. “I want to sensei, I really do. But...”

“But?”

Kakashi frowned. He had expected her to jump at the promised gift. He was going to let her keep the sake set to remember her other sensei by; the naughty cards of Jiraiya’s were for him of course- Kakashi alone understood his pervy ways and appreciated his novels.

“I can’t. Sasuke specifically said I can’t leave until all of this is done, back in his office, even though I had the early shift today. I swear his revenge is to work me to death.”

Kakashi, normally so stoic and reluctant to show his feelings, couldn’t help but look slightly crestfallen.

“I’m sorry, Kakashi”

“Oh no it’s fine. Another time then?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“If it’s gonna be a late one tonight you can stay on my sofa again. It’s closer to here than your place.”

She hesitated again before answering. “That’s really nice of you but I don’t think I’m gonna be leaving here until morning. And by then you’ll be back in the Hokage Tower for work.”

“I see.” 

“But maybe tomorrow?”

Kakashi forced himself to smile at her warmly. “Of course. After you’ve had some sleep and I’m finished at my job as Sasuke’s bitch.” They both chuckled at having experienced Hokage Sasuke. “Around seven? I’d offer to cook but I suck...”

Sakura rolled her eyes, mimicking her old sensei’s mannerisms. “Yes, I’ll bring something.”

Kakashi gave her a cheeky look. “Excellent. Thanks for offering Sakura-chan.”

She giggled again. “OK, Kakashi- _kun_ , I will see you tomorrow for my surprise then.” 

 

***

 

After collecting the sake set and cards, Kakashi returned to his flat. That night he used the set to warm up some nice sake- Tsunade’s favourite brand (and she knew her sake well). Alone, he toasted his old Hokage and allowed himself to be enveloped in memories of the great kunoichi.

Unlike when he slept, they were warm memories. He had always enjoyed the company of the loud filthy-mouthed, lewd and strong woman. She never failed to bring a smile to his face, even when all she had to say was “get back to work, brat!”

In Kakashi’s younger days, when he was a teenager, he had had quite the crush on the older woman. What man couldn’t though with that shiny long hair, smart-ass attitude, curvaceous body and not to mention another two huge assets. That was before Minato had died, of course. He didn’t have much of an eye for anyone, male or female the few years following that event. And by then he gotten over his crush on her.

When she returned to the village they had grown a strong platonic relationship. When Jiraiya had been killed, Kakashi had been there for her, even though he wasn’t usually the best at comforting others due to being unable to shake his own demons.

They had also both shared a fondness for the hyperactive blond ninja and short-tempered pink kunoichi. The two drove them mad with exasperation but they had always laughed about their antics later over a sake or two.

Kakashi raised his glass in one final toast to Tsunade, one of the most wonderful people ever to grace the village. Then he drained his cup and wiped the tears from his eyes.

When he felt up to it he washed up the cups and the remains of his dinner. Afterwards he took a shower and changed into a tank top and baggy pajama bottoms, keeping his mask on. He then spent some quality time reading in bed one of Jiraiya’s other great works: The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi.

Kakashi read late into the night, afraid of who would greet him in his sleep. At some point though he drifted off. He saw Tsunade and Jiraiya that night. 

 

_The two legendary sannin were surrounded by all of the Peins and were failing to fight them off. Kakashi ran and ran but he couldn’t reach them in time._

_“Come on Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto called. “We have to help them.”_

_Naruto overtook him and jumped into the fray. “No Naruto!” Kakashi screamed. “Come back!”_

_But it was too late. Just as the Peins slit the throats of the two sanin, Sasuke appeared in front of Naruto, chidori sword in hand._

_“Noooo!” Kakashi screamed. “Leave him alone!”_

_But Sasuke was laughing and raised his lightning blade-_

 

Kakashi woke with a start and found someone stood above his previously sleeping form.

“Sasuke,” Kakashi said a little breathlessly. The nightmare had taken its toll.

Sasuke was watching him intently, his eyes unblinking. He was stood beside the bed, leaning over Kakashi’s face as he lay on his back. The moonlight was seeping into the dark room and outlined the intense Uchiha.

“Aww, how cute,” Sasuke smirked above him. “You even sleep with your mask on.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thanks for the comments :) They have given me the push to get on with the long and juicy chapter! Thanks for the support. So yeah, I have seen some stories where Kakashi submits fairly quickly to Sasuke, but I think after seeing him kill Naruto that Kakashi would put up a damn good fight- and all the kage being killed too... it would be too much to forgive.
> 
> Ah man this chapter took aaaages to write. It was really hard too, I have never written anything like this scene before, so please go easy on me! Let me know what you think.
> 
>  **Warnings: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES LEMON, VIOLENCE AND RAPE/NON-CON.** Please do not read if this offends you or you do not like it. There, I have warned you all so please don’t flame me... I think the story was obviously going in this direction anyway....

Kakashi was trying to comprehend just what was happening. The nightmare of his friend’s deaths had left him feeling strange and breathless. Waking to find a creepy Uchiha in his room was not helping when all Kakashi wanted was silence so he could get is head straight.

Sasuke was close, too close, was all Kakashi could think, let alone what the hell he was doing in his home in the middle of the night. And the comment on his mask. It was disrespectful and insulting to one who had been your sensei. Kakashi tried to mentally brace himself. It seemed Sasuke knew no boundaries anymore.

“Get out,” Kakashi spat at him. “Out! I don’t know how you got past the wards around my flat, but you have to go.”

Sasuke didn’t move. Instead he made an amused noise and ignored Kakashi’s demand. “What were you dreaming about? You were shouting in your sleep.”

Shit. He hadn’t realised he said things out loud. Did Sasuke hear his nightmares? Kakashi hated the idea of Sasuke seeing him so vulnerable.

“That is none of your business. I won’t say it again: get out.”

Sasuke’s hand went to grab Kakashi’s throat. Disoriented though he was, Kakashi could feel the surge of chakra aiming for his masked neck. He jumped away out of the bed on the opposite side of Sasuke just in time. 

He was about to say something warningly again to Sasuke when the young man himself spoke.

“Things are different now Kakashi. I am your Hokage and I give the orders. You do not tell me what to do. If I ask you something, you answer.”

Kakashi said nothing. He just clenched his fists ready for what was to come.

“Well? Were you having ‘ickle nightmares, sensei?” Sasuke laughed. It was a merciless and evil laugh, pure joy at seeing another brought low. _So that is what this is about. My old student has something to prove and he wants to humiliate me._

“What do you want, Sasuke?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I thought you were supposed to be a genius?”

Sasuke’s true motives for being here were starting to become painfully clearer. Kakashi pushed his fears to the back of his mind. Surely the boy wasn’t that messed up?

“Look Sasuke, whatever it is can wait until morning.”

“Stop playing ignorant, Kakashi. You know what I want and if you don’t give it to me willingly I will take it. I am Hokage and I take what I want, when I want it.”

Kakashi tensed. No. This couldn’t be...that. He didn’t want Sasuke to see his fear, it would only make things worse. Instead he narrowed his eyes, glared at the young Hokage and put on a brave face.

“Go bother one of your silly fan girls, I’m not interested.”

“One of my fan girls? Like Sakura?”

Now Kakashi was really fucking pissed off, all fear really gone. “If you touch her I will kill you.”

Sasuke laughed again. “As if I’m interested in that moronic girl. Who do you think gave her paperwork to keep her out the way?

“And besides I don’t think you’re in any position to say that. You and I both know that won’t happen. I have already defeated you once, sensei.” He started walking around the bed towards Kakashi. “That’s why I wanted you at full strength before I made my move. To prove to you that I can defeat you and I will always be stronger than you, no matter the circumstances. Last time you were already exhausted before our fight. This time there will be no possible excuse and you will see that I am your better now. If you resist it will be a fair fight.”

“A fair fight? Just like your how you took care of the kages?” Sarcasm dripped from Kakashi’s tongue.

Sasuke frowned. “That was different.”

“Yes because you were afraid of them. And so you should have been. Had they been allowed a ‘fair fight’ as you call it, they would have put you out of your misery.”

It happened quickly. Sasuke moved faster this time and his fist connected straight with Kakashi’s nose, causing blood to trickle out and Kakashi to grunt. Sasuke was right in front of him now and looking thoroughly pissed off.

“You will respect me.”

Kakashi gritted his teeth against the pain and unpleasant feeling of warm blood on his face under his mask. He raised his fist to swing for Sasuke but the other man caught it in his own. His eyes flashed with a mixture of anger and ... something else Kakashi hadn’t seen before. He didn’t want Sasuke here long enough to find out.

The raven haired man pushed him against the wall. “Damn it, Kakashi you will give me what I want one way or another.” His free hand slid up to Kakashi’s mask and pulled it down, revealing the handsome face of his old sensei. The jaw was well defined and the nose straight. Sasuke had thought his sensei may have more scars hidden beneath the dark material, but the skin was smooth and unmarred, aside from the scar running over his eye and cheek. It looked silky, warm and inviting. He was beautiful. And the blood around his nose only added to it. The mask had absorbed much of it.

Sasuke let a single finger stray onto one cheek and just gazed at the face before him. He exhaled with some sort of.... admiration? Wonder? Kakashi didn’t know but after all his experience as a shinobi he knew sure as hell not to pass up such an opportunity as Sasuke letting his guard down. Kakashi kneed him in the stomach as hard as he could, winding him, and pushed him back.

“How dare you?” he seethed at the dark haired man. “How fucking dare you?”

Sasuke had already gathered his strength to retaliate. He pressed forward in an attempt to punch Kakashi and the older man managed to block it, forgetting to pull up his mask again. A glint of red showed Kakashi that Sasuke had activated his sharingan. For the second time since the war Kakashi really mourned his lack of Obito’s one in his own socket. He sure as hell could use it now. 

Sasuke and Kakashi continued with their taijutsu. Despite the deadly situation he didn’t particularly want to start using elemental jutsus in his own home. His mind was desperately trying to find some way to keep the stronger man at bay or defeat him. Or at least keep him away from Kakashi at any rate.

Things were not looking good for Kakashi being on the defensive, but he wouldn’t give up so easily. Soon though, one of Sasuke’s hits landed and Kakashi felt a hand at the back of his head pushing it down to meet Sasuke’s knee. It hurt a lot and he felt disoriented at another blow to his head and face. Sasuke took advantage of this and pushed Kakashi hard against the wall again. 

Before Kakashi could react Sasuke kissed him hard and forced his tongue into his sensei’s mouth. In vain Kakashi tried to move his head away but it was held firmly in place by Sasuke grabbing a fistful of his hair. Kakashi bit down on the invading tongue. Sasuke jumped back, yelling in pain and spitting out blood.

Kakashi was indignant. Sasuke could be a little shit when he wanted but to do this... to approach his sensei in such a way? Kakashi was livid.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Kakashi demanded.

Sasuke turned his wrathful gaze on the jonin. “You’ll regret that.”

Kakashi lunged forward, aiming for Sasuke’s face with his fist. Sasuke and his sharigan seemed to read his moves and the Uchiha grabbed the arm that came for him and twisted it behind Kakashi’s back. From behind Kakashi he grabbed his hair again with his other hand. Kakashi was stuck in the hold and Sasuke bit Kakashi's neck through the material, hard. 

Kakashi held his breath, refusing to make a noise though luckily Sasuke couldn’t see him wince.

Sasuke suddenly threw him across the room onto the floor. Kakashi started to rise but a sandaled foot kick him in the stomach, causing him to drop back onto his stomach, breathless. Sasuke kicked him again and again, at least six times. Kakashi chocked and feared he might actually vomit. He was weak and could barely move from the beating. Every time he thought it would stop a fist or a foot flew at him over and over. He couldn’t help grunting occasionally.

When Sauke stood up straight, his sensei bleeding and defeated at his feet, he thought it was over. Yet fate made another horror in store for him, what Kakashi had feared but wouldn’t allow himself to believe would happen.

Sasuke violently ripped his clothes from his battered body until he was completely naked, then paused to admire the body he had fought for. Kakashi closed his eyes, fearing what was next. He didn’t want to see the lust in those dangerous eyes. 

With one foot Sasuke rolled him onto his back and pulled him to his knees by his hair. He heard Sasuke unzip his fly and a large erection appeared before him. Kakashi gasped. Surely he wouldn’t...

“Open wide, sensei,” Sasuke smirked. “You’re gonna take me in your mouth like a good boy.”

Kakashi growled at him. He may have been beaten but it wouldn’t be that easy.

“If you put that thing in my mouth you’ll lose it.”

Sasuke groaned vehemently and slapped him.

He leaned down and whispered in his ear. “Fine. Kissing and a blowjob might be off the cards for tonight, until I can tame you, but I will take your innocence.”

 _What?_ Kakashi thought. _Does he seriously think I’m innocent? Is that why he wants me?_

“You see, Kakashi, I have wanted this for a long time and I will have you. Ever since that time you came and saved Sakura on the bridge. I realised then I may have been strong enough to take you, but Sakura and Naruto got in the way and then Mada- or Obito as you call him. I vowed the next time we were both at full strength I would claim you for myself. It will take some time but you’ll come around...eventually. Pun intended, of course.”

Kakashi could have slapped himself. How the fuck did he not see this coming? How had he missed- or ignored- the signs?

Sasuke threw him onto his back. Kakashi had hoped that it wouldn’t be face to face if this had to happen. Sasuke pushed legs apart and smiled darkly. Kakashi made one more effort to push the younger man off, but Sasuke slapped him again from between his legs and held Kakashi’s arms above his head. Kakashi was too weak to fight him off anymore. Sasuke would take what he wanted and Kakashi was powerless to stop it. The realisation was shameful and humiliating.

Sasuke trailed his fingers surprisingly gently up the inside of Kakashi’s thighs. 

“Don’t. I’m your sesnei. Don’t do this.”

“That makes it even better. I take it that means there is nothing between you and Sakura then?”

Kakashi glared. “She respects the bond of sensei and student.”

“Yes, she always was dull.”

Sasuke’s finger moved to his ass and danced across the pale globes. Kakashi tensed despite himself. He didn’t want Sasuke to feel his fear but he couldn’t help it. Sasuke then moved the slender finger to his puckered hole and teased the outside of the ring.

“It looks so fucking delicious,” Sasuke whispered. “And to think no one has touched here before. I will take your virginity.” Sasuke hummed lustfully and watched Kakashi’s body predatorily.

Well Kakashi was glad that at least there was one thing he could deny Sasuke and wipe the smile off his face.

“I’m not a virgin.”

“You’re a thirty year old man, of course you’re not. I meant a virgin here.” He prodded Kakashi’s hole, so sure of himself.

“I’m not a virgin there either.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed dangerously. He went white with sudden anger.

“You don’t look the type.”

“I’ve been with a man once. When I was sixteen.”

“Who?”

Kakashi coughed. He hurt all over but it would be worth it. “That’s none of your business.”

Sasuke slapped him. Twice. Kakashi felt the inside of his cheek cut against a tooth.

“Who?”

Shit. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. Kakashi couldn’t tell him who it really was. He was sure Sasuke was mad and vengeful enough to kill the man who had taken Sasuke’s prize when he was still just a child. His brain worked quickly, trying to find a way out of this. Then it came to him.

“It doesn’t matter; he’s dead.”

Sasuke considered this. “I still want to know. I won’t ask again.” Sasuke raised his hand again-

“Obito.”

Kakashi knew he was on dangerous ground. On one hand the lie was believable as Sasuke had seen firsthand that the two friends cared for each other and had a tense history. But the dates didn’t add up. If Sasuke glanced at the certain incriminating files, he would know that when Kakashi was sixteen Obito had already left the village and “died” long before. He knew that Sasuke must have known of some of the events in his life, but he doubted he knew ages and dates. 

“Fine. You may have been claimed by another before, but I will take you so hard it will feel like you’re losing your virginity all over again. I will show you the lust of a real Uchiha.”

Despite Sasuke’s words Kakashi felt a small bit of relief that the young man between his legs had not recognised the lie. It was short lived as Sasuke pushed into him without preparing him first or using lube. Kakashi felt himself ripping and he bit his lips so hard he drew blood in his effort not to scream. He wouldn’t let Sasuke hear him scream. He closed his eyes and turned his face away, willing himself not to cry. But he felt so invaded, so disgusting. It hurt so much.

Sasuke used his blood as lube and fucked him rough and fast, uncaring of the pain it caused the man beneath him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and Kudos :) it does help give me the push to get on with this!
> 
> Sorry it has been a while! Work has been manic and I am handing in my MA dissertation next week...ergh. I also may have, ahem, started another story- don’t worry I won’t forget this one! I just needed something light and fluffy to write in between this darker story.
> 
> Anyway here is the aftermath of the night with Sasuke...

Sasuke emptied himself into his prize. Kakashi had prayed to all the gods that he would pass out and not have to remember that moment, but fate showed its cruel self once again. Kakashi didn’t miss a thing. At least Sasuke hadn’t forced him to open his eyes or look at him during the act. 

Without ceremony Sasuke withdrew from Kakashi’s body. He mockingly kissed him on the forehead and then stood above the beaten man on the ground. He smirked at the scene he had created.

“Take tomorrow off; you’ll need it.”

He laughed as he left the flat, leaving Kakashi lying in his own blood mixed with traces of Sasuke’s semen as it leaked from him. Alone, Kakashi curled into a ball in that same spot and finally allowed himself to cry.

 

***

 

Dawn brought with it more pain: when he woke, he remembered. Kakashi woke on his sofa, unable to stay in the bedroom, and vaguely recalled crying himself to sleep. That was something he hadn’t done in years, even with his recent nightmares. 

Kakashi didn’t leave the house that day. He kept the curtains closed and couldn’t even bring himself to eat; though the sensible side of his brain knew allowing himself to starve and weaken would only make things easier for Sasuke. That was if the boy decided to visit him again. Kakashi tried to convince himself that it was just a onetime thing, a sudden mad rush of lust and power on Sasuke’s part. But deep down he knew the Uchiha hadn’t finished with him yet. 

The copy nin had always been a calm and intelligent shinobi; but now every sound had him jumping. Kakashi had six showers that day. He still didn’t feel clean.

As a war veteran, he knew rape happened all the time. It had just never happened to him. He had always thought himself above that fate somehow. He had seen the way other shinobi looked at him hungrily, lustfully, but Kakashi had always been too strong to allow anything to happen that he didn’t want. A few had tried- male and female- but Kakashi had always won.

But now though... he was falling apart. After judging other ninja for allowing themselves to weaken after being victimised once...he felt ashamed of himself.

He wore extra layers of clothes, as if to compensate for the ones that had been ripped from him the night before. Kakashi was steadily making his way through all the sake in his home and crying to himself; though now he was beyond tears, when he heard the knock at his door.

Kakashi froze. Why hadn’t he sensed their chakra? Was it really...? Or was Sasuke just messing with him? 

Another knock, harder this time.

“Kakashi-sensei!” A girl’s voice called. “Open up!”

Begrudgingly Kakashi rose from the pile of blankets. What the fuck did she want? He knew he couldn’t ignore her, she was persistent like her former team mate.

Before he answered Kakashi pulled his mask higher and his headband lower.

“Sakura,” Kakashi greeted. She looked confused at his miserable greeting. He tried to make himself sound more cheerful. The less questions the better. “Yo, what’s up?”

“Kakashi... what happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your eye! Did you hurt it? And... is that a bruise?” Concern filled her green eyes and Kakashi had to think fast.

He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing. I trained with Gai today.”

Her brows furrowed. “Gai-sensei can barely move.”

“Lee was there too. And Gai’s recovering. They attacked at the same time. I am a little tired, so they caught me off guard. Anyway,” he pushed on deciding to change the subject when she didn’t look convinced. “What are you doing here?”

“Err, you invited me,” she folded her arms. “Kakashi, seriously, what is going on? How did you forget?”

“Oh...right.”

“So can I come in?”

“Actually I-”

“Great, thanks.”

She pushed past him and pulled a face at the blankets and bottle. He had quite obviously been drinking alone. She sighed.

“So what’s brought on all this?”

Kakashi tried to look mildly curious but he stumbled slightly.

“Oh? All of what? I thought you were here for a drink? I just got started early while I waited.”

“You forgot I was coming.”

“...”

Those green eyes were boring into him accusingly. He was about to respond when he suddenly heaved. Oh gods.

Without hesitating, Sakura pushed him towards the toilet and he soon found his head over the bowl as he hurled up nothing but liquid. Sakura, used to such things working in a hospital, cooed and soothed him, stroking his hear out of his face.

In her pity she had let go of her irritation at Kakashi’s lies. She sat with him for a good half hour on the bathroom floor and brought him a glass of water to drink.

When Kakashi had stopped heaving, she lead him outside to the sofa and went to make him some tea. 

“Oh my- Kakashi is this?”

Kakashi was tired and unfocused but he turned to see what she was indicating. It was the sake set he had taken from the Hokage office.

“Oh yeah. Surprise Sakura-chan.”

“What,” she was holding it, her eyes full of emotion. “You mean- really?”

Kakashi nodded. “It’s yours.”

“Oh Kakashi!” She jumped to him and pulled him into a massive hug and sobbed on his shoulder. “Thank you so much. It was so thoughtful for you to think of me and save a memento... wait.” She looked up at him. “How did you get this?”

“I took it. Sasuke told me to bin her things. But I couldn’t... not that. I also kept Jiraiya’s cards.”

The girl rolled her eyes at that. “Ha! Those pervy things.” They laughed together and played a card game while they ate some rice Sakura had made. 

When Kakashi was looking a bit better Sakura asked, “Kakashi... Tsunade’s possessions you took... is that why your- did Sasuke catch you?”

A convenient lie he didn’t even have to think of. “Yes.”

“Oh Kakashi- I am so sorry he is treating you like this.”

Kakashi sifted uncomfortably. “It’s OK, it isn’t your fault. And it’s not your problem either; don’t worry about me.”

“Your problems are my problems. You’re my best friend.”

They looked at each other. She really had grown into such a thoughtful woman.

“Can I stay the night?”

He worried that he was inconveniencing her, by using her to keep his bad dreams- and now Sasuke- at bay. But he really did need a friend right now. And he knew Sasuke wouldn’t approach with Sakura here after he had gone through the effort of burying her in paperwork yesterday.

“Sure.”


	8. Chapter 8

The sounds of Sakura getting ready in the bathroom the next morning brought dread to his belly. He would also need to get up and face what the day had in store for him. What Sasuke had in store for him. Sakura sang softly to herself she probably fussed about with her hair or make up or whatever girls did in the mornings. As Kakashi had never lived with a woman before (his mother had died so young) he really wasn’t sure.

Kakashi sighed as he got out of bed. Could he really do this? Could he really face Sasuke again after what he had done? 

He had no choice. 

If he didn’t go to Sasuke, then Sasuke would come to him. And he really didn’t want that. That would be weakening his position before it even came to a fight... if that’s what it came down to. He also surmised that he would be safer from the lustful Hokage in his office; there were other people around. If Sasuke came here then he would have no restraints. That had Kakashi more worried than he cared to admit.

“Sakura,” he called as he made both of them a coffee.

“Yeah?”

“What time do you finish tonight?”

“Err, I’m not entirely sure. Probably the evening.”

“I was thinking of making tamagoyaki tonight and thought you might be hungry after work so...”

Sakura came into the kitchen and grabbed a coffee.

“Yes I can stay the night.”

Kakashi blushed. Yes that had been what he wanted but he felt embarrassed and weak that it was so obvious.

“Thank you, Sakura.”

She smiled at him. “It’s no problem. We should look out for each other after... after everything that has happened. But Kakashi, eventually you should come to the hospital and see someone about your sleep.” Kakashi noticed she evaded using the word nightmares, not wanting to sound condescending. “We could get you some tablets to help you sleep if you like. And it would be good for you to talk to someone, a doctor who doesn’t know you-”

“No thank you. I know your trying to help but...”

“OK. Don’t worry. But if you change your mind let me know.”

Kakashi just nodded. At least she didn’t know the other reason he wanted her there.

“Right Sensei, I have to get going.” She pulled him into a hug. He tried not wince at the slight pain. He still ached all over from the battering Sasuke gave him. But he hugged Sakura back all the same. He couldn’t but wish that if one of his students had to take an interest in him sexually, it had been Sakura. Or even Naruto. Being with a student was wrong but at least the other two were sane. Kind of.

 

***

 

Sasuke was shouting at Karin as he arrived. Day two at his ‘work’ and it was already off to a bad start. As Kakashi sauntered in, deep down scared shitless of the Uchiha but trying to look confident and aloof at least, he saw Sasuke thrust some papers into her hands. She soon ran out the room. Kakashi stood in the middle of the room with his arms folded. If Sakura hadn’t been with him that morning he didn’t know if he would have been able to rise from his bed.

Kakashi felt hate curdle within him as he looked at his Hokage. Sasuke watched him hungrily. He could see some of bruises on his face that were creeping above the mask and the boy smirked with some satisfaction. He particularly liked the idea of his old sensei squirming around making pathetic excuses for them. 

“Believe me, I’d love to stay and play with you but I have something to do right now. Be a good boy and stay.”

He walked past Kakashi, smirking in the knowledge that the one who used to give him orders would now obey him. As Sasuke left the room he heard the bark of “Karin!”

Kakashi waited five minutes. He hated himself for being so damn afraid of someone younger and smaller than him. Though he had to admit at the rate Sasuke was growing in a few years he could be taller than Kakashi himself. He shuddered. The thought that Sasuke could grow even stronger than he was know was one he didn’t want to comprehend.

Ten more minutes. Shame and irritation gradually built in him. Why the hell was he stood in the middle of Sasuke’s office like some loyal fucking dog?

The minutes slipped by. Kakashi was sweating he was so nervous. Just as he thought ‘fuck this’ and moved towards the window he heard the creak of the floor boards in the room outside. It must be Karin. He froze on the windowsill for a moment. He knew Sasuke would likely retaliate when he returned to an empty office, but Kakashi had to stop acting like a frightened child and make a point. Sasuke couldn’t treat him like a dog and tell him to ‘stay’ with no indication of when he would return. It was embarrassing that Kakashi was in this situation and he needed some dignity back.

Kakashi had had enough for one day and jumped outside to make his escape. That was when he felt a hand clasp his ankle and pull him back inside. Kakashi’s stomach landed on the windowsill as he was dragged back in. He was pissed off with himself for not sensing Sasuke’s presence yet again.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” The Hokage asked. “I thought I told you to stay?”

“Yeah. Sadly my schedule of sitting around and doing fuck all means I’m incredibly busy at the moment. You caught me at a bad time.”

“Always so sarcastic,” Sasuke purred as he pulled Kakashi into his arms. Kakashi shuddered. He just hoped Sasuke hadn’t noticed somehow. “I suppose it’s easier to fall back on than your fear.”

Kakashi went for deadly serious now. “I am not afraid of you.” He hoped the lie had fooled Sasuke at any rate: there was no fooling himself.

Sasuke laughed. “Well, you should be.”

He nuzzled into the copy ninja. Kakashi jumped up out of his arms, almost tripping in the process, as Sasuke laughed again. The Hokage took his seat in front of the desk and put his feet up and watched the copy nin. Kakashi willed himself not to back away from the stare.

“I’m thirsty.” 

Kakashi raised one eyebrow at him, as if to say ‘so’?

“Get me some tea.”

“Can’t Karin do that?”

“I want you to do it.”

Kakashi sighed and resigned himself to playing maid; he knew it was all for the benefit of Sasuke’s ego. Kakashi got Karin to tell him where the kitchen was. She led him there, shooting suspicious glares at him now and again.

They walked into a room with a few sofas, a coffee table and a dining table and chairs. One of corner of the room served as the kitchen, complete with counters, oven and fridge. There was even a kettle and microwave. Had Tsunade been a tea drinker, rather than sake, Kakashi would have seen this area before now. It was evidently some sort of staff room where the Hokage and those who worked for them could take their meals during the working day. During times of crisis he knew Shizune and Tsunade had basically camped out in the Hokage offices so they must have stayed on these sofas. The thought tightened Kakashi’s chest. Seeing Sasuke’s henchman making themselves at home brought the low bubbling of anger.

The one called Jugo sat eating noodles at the dining table. He glanced at Kakashi as the man entered and nodded to Karin, but other than that, went back to his food and paid them no mind. Suigetsu on the other hand, lounging lazily across the sofa, smiled gleefully at their entrance. Karin greeted Jugo back, but pointedly ignored Suigetsu.

“What you got there, Karin? Is that Sasuke’s new pet?” Kakashi stopped following Karin to glare at the boy. His purple eyes were gleaming with malice, whereas before they had seemed bored. Jugo watched the situation carefully, ready to step in to stop any potential trouble. He had hoped to eat his food in peace. 

Kakashi was saved answering himself, probably with something rude and bitingly sarcastic, by Karin.

“Of course not, IDIOT!” She moved to hit her colleague, but he turned to water before their eyes. He turned solid again, unharmed. “He is Sasuke’s servant, that’s all.”

Kakashi looked at her almost sympathetically. Almost. The girl was clearly obsessed with her master. It was quite pathetic really. Just like Sakura, Kakashi knew Sasuke would never show any real interest in her. Luckily Sakura had gotten over her love for the sullen Uchiha. Though he had wished it hadn’t taken the death of their team mate to make her realise she could do better.

Suigetsu laughed. “Whatever you say.”

Karin rounded on Kakashi. “Well? Go get his tea then!”

Kakashi drew himself up to his full height and crossed his arms. He may have to obey Sasuke, but he wouldn’t take her shit. 

“Excuse me?”

She blustered, shocked at his defiance. Her eyes flicked to a clock; they had already taken longer than they should and she feared Sasuke’s displeasure.

“Bu- but Sasuke told you to.”

“Exactly. Sasuke told me to. Not you. And I will do it at my own pace.”

Jugo watched Kakashi with a sort of admiration. Suigetsu laughed and called, “Oooh Karin, he sure told you.” She turned her attention back to him, trying to land a punch as Kakashi made the tea.

As he waited for the water to boil, Jugo came up to him. The other two were still fighting.

“You know,” Jugo said thoughtfully. “Sasuke’s not that bad. If you don’t oppose him he is a good master.” 

Kakashi watched him skeptically. “So good he allowed his own team mate to die so he could get to Danzo.”

“Yet Karin, Suigetsu and I all still remain loyal to him.”

Kakashi snorted. “I’m sure you have your reasons- hers are all too clear- but I can think for myself, thanks.”

“Fighting him will only make him worse.”

Karin had finally given up now but was still throwing insults and threats to her team mate. The kettle boiled and Kakashi made the tea. He didn’t know what was worse; Sasuke’s company or his team mate’s. Although at least they weren’t physically a threat even if they were annoying. He wondered how the stoic and quick to anger Uchiha had put up with those two. Though maybe he had practice from his younger days with Sakura and Naruto.

Kakashi started making his exit from the room without waiting for Karin. When Suigetsu cleared his throat and pointed at the exiting Kakashi, she comically jumped to attention and ran ahead of him to lead the way back.

Suigetsu was smirking at him as he left. It was knowing and full of mirth. Kakashi didn’t like it one bit. However Karin was deluding herself, Sasuke’s other team members knew exactly what Sasuke’s interest in him was.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry it is a fairly short one today. I haven’t been writing much but been hoping to get back into it again. Exciting times ahead, just started my Japanese lessons last night ready to fly out to Japan next year... gotta pass the beginners course first though, eek! Then I will be studying the language in Tokeyo for three weeks :)

Kakashi set the tea down none too gently. The liquid inside the cup swayed but didn’t spill. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, my team can have that affect of people.”

“Including you?”

“Of course. But I know when someone is loyal and I would be stupid not to take advantage of that, regardless of how irritating they are.”

“Yet you never appreciated or acknowledged the unwavering loyalty of Team 7 to you. We searched for you, Sasuke. More than once.”

“And you failed.”

They were staring at each other; Sasuke sat behind the Hokage desk, Kakashi stood before him. 

“We tried our best. We loved you: all of us.”

“Loved as in past tense? You should not have allowed me to go in the first place, sensei.” There was accusation in that voice. For a moment Sasuke sounded like the angry boy he once was. “Besides it was all for the best. If I had not trained with Orochimaru, I never would have become this strong. I may not have surpassed you, let alone Naruto.”

Kakashi flinched at the emotionless way Sasuke said his name. “Some things are more important than strength.”

Sasuke laughed bitterly. “Keep telling yourself that, Kakashi. Being stronger has gotten me everything that I want: power, revenge, control, peace for the shinobi world, and... Certain other things.” He watched Kakashi with open lust in his eyes. Kakashi tensed.

“Oh, don’t be afraid, Kakashi. I’m not in the mood for that right now. But you know I can take it whenever I want, and that brings me some satisfaction on a day as busy and troublesome as this.”

Kakashi was too wary and tense to even let his curiosity take over and question the Hokage on what ‘business’ was troubling him.

“Mmm. I love the fear in your eyes. Like a startled rabbit. I thought you were supposed to be a wolf? You don’t seem like much of a predator to me.”

Rage was bubbling in Kakashi and his hand moved to his weapons pouch but hesitated. The thoughts of defeating Sasuke and taking back his pride were delusional and he knew it. Sasuke was baiting him, almost daring him to attack. Kakashi realised that it was what the arrogant Uchiha wanted. To end his boredom and distract him from the demands of being Hokage. Kakashi wouldn’t give it to him. 

Instead he folded his arms, stoney and silent.

“Very well, Kakashi, if you won’t play then you may go... for now. Run along and find comfort in that silly girl.”

“What? You had better not have-”

“Relax, I haven’t done anything to her. But let’s just say I keep tabs on you both. I know you two are spending a lot of time together. If I wasn’t sure you weren’t interested in her I would have put a stop to it by now. I know a girl like that wouldn’t keep you around for long, and you have made it all too clear you wouldn’t allow yourself to have an unmoral relationship with a student willingly. If you had shown any real interest in her other than a shoulder to cry on, I would have killed her by now.”

“You- You-”

“I wouldn’t do anything stupid if I were you. Just because you’re not sleeping with her, doesn’t mean I won’t kill her. If you value her life you will show me a bit more respect.”

Kakashi’s hands were itching to reach for his shuriken and show the Uchiha the respect he deserved. But he did nothing. Sakura’s life meant too much to him. Sasuke may rape, beat and humiliate him, but he was still determined to keep his promise to Naruto. Even if keeping that promise meant sacrificing his own life. He refused to allow himself to break another promise to a comrade.

Kakashi was trying to stop himself shaking with anger. He was about to turn and leave but Sasuke was still watching him expectantly.

“I thought I told you I wanted your respect. You are to treat me as you did the other Hokage. When you took your leave of the others you bowed.”

Kakashi hesitated. He thought back to the last time he had refused to bow. He had been forced. And hurting Kakashi seemed to excite the Uchiha. To save himself another situation like that Kakashi reluctantly bowed, a stiff and awkward bow that was not very low. He turned on his heel to leave. He could feel Sasuke’s smirk behind him.

“We can work on your manners later, sensei. See you tomorrow.”

 

***

 

The tamagoyaki was ready and waiting long before Sakura arrived. Kakashi hated that in Sasuke’s new world everyone he knew seemed to have something important to do except him. He was merely Sasuke’s play thing to torment. 

When the girl arrived she apologised profusely for her lateness, only making Kakashi long for a mission even more. He had never had so much free time. He hadn’t spent this much time in the village since he was a genin.

They sat down to the cold meal and Kakashi ate glumly. He dreaded going back to the Hokage tower tomorrow.

“Kakashi, what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Sakura had put her chopsticks down and was watching him worriedly. “Nothing, just a long day.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “It’s Sasuke isn’t it?”

“No, I-”

“He’s treating you badly isn’t he?”

Kakashi held in a bitter laugh. The girl had no idea. “Well, only in his usual condescending way...”

Sakura watched him for a moment. “OK, if your sure. You would tell me if anything was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

He forced a smile. “Of course.”

“...Good.” She picked up her chopsticks again but didn't look convinced.


	10. Chapter 10

It was with a heavy heart that Kakashi washed and dressed the next day. He could hear the pink haired girl's snoring in the living room. Man, that girl could snore. He had camped with her on missions before, but in the silence of his home it sounded even worse. Kakashi held in a laugh as he remembered back to when Naruto had taken one for the team and told her she was keeping the rest of Team 7 awake. His reward was a black eye and angry wails from the girl.

To this day she was still adamant that Naruto was making it up that she snored. No one else was brave enough - or stupid enough- to tell her. Naruto... Kakashi still couldn't believe that he was gone... It had been such a joy to know the loud goofball and to train him. He had come such a long way only to fall at the hands of his first rival and best friend. 

Kakashi's thoughts were wondering to a dark place now. He thought of all those he had lost, most of them due to being shinobi. Many of them still children, forced to fight and put their lives on the line before they had had their fair share of living. In fact, only his mother had died of natural causes... His father had found his shame at failing as a shinobi so unbearable he killed himself. Countless friends had been killed by the enemy. Obito, Rin and Minato-sensei had given their lives to protect the village and world. And then Naruto..

At least he still had Sakura. If she hadn't have been here he didn't know how he would have gotten through the past week. At least Sasuke had let the medical kunoichi live. After all Naruto only got in the way of a blow intended for her.

A yawn from Sakura woke him from his thoughts.

"Oh!"

Curious, he entered the open plan living area. Sure enough Sakura was sat on the sofa looking at something, still covered in blankets of deep blue.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked.

"A letter... With the seal of the.... The sixth Hokage. It has the Uchiha crest on the design."

"What? When did he give you that?"

"He didn't. I just woke up and found it in front of me on the coffee table. It wasn't here last night. But... No, surely he wouldn’t'...although there was that time before..."

Oh kami... Had Sasuke really sneaked in again to leave a note for Sakura? That confirmed that he was having them watched at any rate. Sasuke knew she was sleeping over, and that it was indeed purely platonic. Is that how he knew that Kakashi and Sakura weren't together, by sneaking in here? Not only that but by leaving a letter he was taunting them, showing off his skills. He was sure the real message Sasuke intended wasn’t written in that letter. This was all about control.

"What does it say?"

Sakura slid the envelope open and pulled out the letter. A frown appeared as she read.

"It's a mission."

"Oh?"

"Yes. I am to inspect all the hospitals in the other four great shinobi villages. It will take a while it seems. I am representing Sasuke's authority."

Kakashi felt his heart sink. No... Not Sakura, his only comfort here. How could Sasuke take her away when Kakashi was starting to depend on her? And the way he did, sneaking into Kakashi's home while they were both asleep, asserting his power over their lives. How would Kakashi cope with the sullen Hokage without her? How would he cope with his nightmares of the dead? How could he face his grief alone again?

He could barely eat the breakfast Sakura prepared for them. He didn’t even touch the miso soup. She left for her home to collect her things for the trip while Kakashi was still in a daze. He really didn't want to face Sasuke today, he had an ominous feeling of what the next few weeks had in store for him.

 

***

 

Kakashi walked slowly with his hands in his pockets. He barely watched where he was going as the villagers bustled around him, setting up for the day's work. The smells of breakfast filled the streets and the roads were full of people.

"Oi! 'Kashi!" 

Kakashi wasn't listening; his mind was filled with worries over what the day would bring.

"Riiiiiva-"

Wham! Kakashi slammed into a firm green chest. Kakashi rubbed his head and groaned. He was about to step back but strong hands on his shoulders held him in place.

"Rival! Are you OK?"

"Jeez watch where you're going, Hatake." Iruka appeared at Gai's side and watched the two with amusement.

"Yeah I'm OK, Gai. Ergh... Sorry."

"An apology from the great copy nin? To what do we owe this pleasure?"

Oh here comes Iruka's sarcasm... He never missed an opportunity to tease Kakashi. Gai proved once again not to be his best partner in crime though.

"What do you mean?! My eternal rival is most honorable and ALWAYS admits when he is at-"

Iruka sighed. "Alright Maito. Well we had better be going; otherwise we will be as late as him."

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked, curious despite his bad mood.

"Why the academy of course, dear rival!"

Iruka smiled. "Gai starts his first day teaching taijutsu for self defence to students and civilians."

Shit. That was right. Gai had been recovering at home this whole time while Kakashi had been absorbed in his own problems. He should have remembered; he hadn’t seen Gai outside since they took him home from hospital. He tried to push the guilt away, just like he’d spent his life doing. 

"Oh really?"

"Yes, you must come and see the sweet youthful miracle of learning take place if-"

"I'm sorry, Gai I can't. I have to go to see Sasu- the Hokage that is."

"Oh, you're working with him aren't you?" Iruka's eyes seemed to fill with pain and sadness. "What is he like? Does he- does he regret-"

Kakashi cut him off. "He has no remorse. I'm sorry."

They were silent for a moment before Iruka spoke again. "Don't be. You were Naruto's teacher as well, you must miss him just as much as I do. You almost died trying to defend him and Sakura. For that I am grateful at least." The chunin paused as his face screwed up with emotion. "It is just that Sasuke was also one of our own students and I had never thought him capable..."

"Me neither. I never thought it would come to this."

"And with all the changes he has made it made me hope that..."

"What changes?"

Gai and Iruka glanced at each other. "Well for one the self defence classes for civilians I am running. He has made them compulsory. He wants them to be able to protect themselves from wayward shinobi."

"And the new age restrictions on genin. You can't become one until you are sixteen now. He insists all children need a childhood not stained in blood or haunted by death. And missions will only comprise of defending the current world now that we aren’t fighting among villages anymore."

So Sasuke had made some changes for the better. Maybe he did have a heart. No, Kakashi didn't want to face that prospect. Sasuke had killed Tsunade and Naruto for no good reason. No changes he made now in the world of the living could make Kakashi overlook that. He would only see the evil in Sasuke now, he would never submit to him completely.

"Erm Kakashi," Gai interrupted. "Are you Ok? And are-" he gasped audibly. Iruka looked at him alarmed. "Are those bruises?" 

Ah. Kakashi had forgotten about those. They were starting to fade and what with the mask, head band and shadow cast from his bushy silver hair, it was hard to see clearly.

"Oh yeah, I spared with Sakura the other say. Finally confronted her about the snoring. It evidently wasn't one of my best moments. Well, gotta run, got a Hokage to report to. See ya!"

 

***

 

When Kakashi arrived outside Kakashi's office Karin was squirming in her chair behind her desk trying to look small. Sasuke was stood on the other side leaning on it with both hands giving her one of his angriest glares.

"What do you mean he said no?"

"S- Sasuke-kun I-"

"It’s ‘Hokage-sama’!"

The red haired women blinked stupidly, trying not to- wait was she really going to cry? Kakashi didn't like this woman who acted like a silly academy girl around Sasuke, but he suddenly felt compelled to bitch slap the little Uchiha shit on her behalf. But the moment soon passed when she noticed Kakashi and turned to glare at him instead.

"You! You're late!"

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head in slight amusement. But rather than having the desired effect she wanted, of Sasuke turning his rage on Kakashi, it did the opposite. "Karin! I give him orders, not you! He is mine to command. Now take the day off and get the hell out of my sight."

If Kakashi hadn’t been so tense from Sasuke’s words, he would have laughed that for Karin having a day off and away from her boss was a punishment. As Kakashi walked into the Hokage's office he didn't spare a glance at the crumpling girl for fear of cringing.

He stood patiently in Sasuke's office hoping the man had pressing matters to attend to and would give him a job and leave him alone. The silver haired ninja heard the door close behind him and turned to face the young Hokage. He was smiling like a child about to unwrap a large present.

"Well?"

Kakashi was about to retort, 'well what?' when he remembered their conversation yesterday. Kakashi bowed stiffly as Sasuke smirked.

"How can I serve you, Hokage-sama," he said icily, hoping to make his real thoughts of the Hoakge as clear cut as he could. Sasuke paid this no mind though. In fact he seemed to enjoy Kakashi's cold attitude.

"Take off your clothes."

Kakashi took a step back in shock. His skin paled even more than its usual white and his mouth opened, the word 'what' unspoken, as if this were not really happening, that he had somehow misheard the young man. Kakashi knew better though.

"You heard me. Clothes off. Now."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING! This chapter contains Non Con and violence.** akthough surely you knew that from the ending of the previous chapter...
> 
> Anyway here it is! Chapter 11. Sorry I haven't been writing as regurly, I'm managed a chapter a week but I have a few fics on the. I have a week off at xmas and will have my place to myself as my boyfriend is travelling so I will have a lot of updates around xmas and New Year- although I doubt the rest of you will have time to read them!
> 
> And sorry 'Kashi! I don't why I do this to you! I will try and make it up to you at some point! Eek!

Time seemed to stop. Kakashi felt the air leave his lungs in a cold gasp. No... not again. He was still bruised and sore from the last time... but it was his pride that had taken the most damage. He had been beaten and raped by someone a decade younger than himself. His student of all people. Someone he had once protected. A man who had killed his friends. Everything about this situation was wrong and disgusted him.

While Kakashi stood in the middle of the room, frozen, Sasuke took a seat behind his desk, confident in the knowledge that Kakashi would obey. He raised his eyebrows at Kakashi impatiently when the man didn’t move. 

“Well? Your Hokage just gave you an order.”

Kakashi took a deep shuddering breath. “Please... don’t... please... not again...”

Sasuke only smiled. “Ah, you’re already reduced to begging. You’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am stronger than you and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Well, I am afraid begging won’t work, Kakashi. You should know that by now. Just like how Sakura’s begging to stop me fighting Naruto didn’t help her. I still killed him. I would have killed her.” He paused and waited for his words to take effect. Kakashi shook with anger now and glared. Sasuke smirked. “That’s better. For a second I thought you would act as pathetic as Sakura.”

Kakashi’s hand went to his weapons pouch. 

“Didn’t I just tell you to remove your clothes? If I so much as see a weapon you’ll regret it. Don’t make me ban you from weapons sensei; you’ll have a hard time explaining that away to your comrades.”

Kakashi’s hand froze; he was torn. He could fight Sasuke. But he knew he couldn’t win. What would be more shameful: fighting and losing, then having to explain any injuries, or submitting willingly without any resistance? Even if he did surrender though it would be far from willing. He would never seek Sasuke out or allow himself to enjoy the Uchiha’s attentions.

“Take off your clothes.”

Kakashi’s hands dithered about between the zip of his flak jacket and his weapons pouch. What the hell should he do?

Too late: Sasuke had grown irritable and impatient by this point, no longer amused with Kakashi’s internal conflict.

“Let me help you with that,” he purred seductively almost. Kakashi’s jacket was roughly unzipped and pushed off his shoulders. Sasuke pulled Kakashi’s top over his head. The removal of his mask is what pushed Kakashi over the edge though. He pushed the Hokage back off him.

“No; not again.”

“I think you’re forgetting that you don’t have a choice in the matter. If you disobey my orders it will only hurt more. The sooner you learn your place, the easier your life will be. And before you even make the threat, I know you won’t take your own life, not after the shame of your father. The idea of giving up like him is even more shameful for you than this.”

Kakashi gritted his teeth. He knew Sasuke was right. And besides, he couldn’t give up and take the easy way out, he still had Sakura to think about. He wouldn’t break his promise to Naruto, no matter the cost to him.

“Just because I won’t take my own life, doesn’t mean I will willingly accept my place as your... as your plaything. I will not allow myself to be used by you.”

Sasuke stood up straighter. “Oh that is a shame... for you. This might hurt a little then...”

Before Kakashi could even register what he said, Sasuke was behind him. He whacked the back of his head, making Kakashi grunt in pain and shock, then kicked the back of Kakashi’s knees, causing the older man to fall on them. Just as Kakashi was about to sweep his legs round in an attempt to knock Sasuke off his feet, he felt a hand wrap around his throat. 

Kakashi’s hands instantly moved to try and pry off the one starving him for air. He was so absorbed with this that he barely even noticed when the Hokage’s other hand pushed him forwards onto his stomach and pulled his trousers down and off along with his underwear. Kakashi was barely conscious now, his hands pulling at Sasuke’s were becoming weaker. When he was about to pass out Sasuke released his cold hold on Kakashi’s throat.

Coughing and gasping, air filled the jonin’s lungs again. He felt too dizzy to worry about Sasuke’s movements as he greedily sucked in air. Sasuke meanwhile had unzipped his fly and pulled apart Kakashi’s ass cheeks. He thrust himself into Kakashi full to the hilt. 

Kakashi cried out in pain and tried to push himself up, only to receive another whack on the side of his head. And then another. And another. He thought he might be sick he felt so dizzy from his head pains. 

Sasuke had begun a slow pace thrusting in and out the tight passage as he hit his former sensei. As much as he wanted to tame his pet, he was enjoying seeing the man in pain like this, so helpless and disoriented. And the blood between Kakashi’s legs contrasted so beautifully with his ivory skin. Sasuke’s thrusts became harder at these thoughts.

One of Sasuke’s punches had caused Kakashi’s teeth to bite down on his own tongue. His mouth filled with blood tinged with saliva. It dribbled from his mouth as he gasped in pain. Sasuke’s reached down turned Kakashi’s head to one side to see. When he noticed the blood trickling from a corner of Kakashi’s mouth, he leaned forwards to lick it off. He pressed to lips against Kakashi’s but the jonin refused to open his mouth. A hard yank of his hair soon solved that problem and Sasuke pushed his tongue into Kakashi’s mouth, swirling it around Kakashi’s own bleeding one.

The metallic taste excited Sasuke even more and his pace became faster. With a groan he came into his former sensei. Kakashi felt completely invaded and had his eyes screwed shut, praying to kami that he wouldn’t cry. The fact that it hadn’t been as violent as last time made it even worse; he had gone down with even less of a fight. He felt sick, pathetic. Sasuke beat and took him like he was nothing, barely even a threat. Kakashi’s pride had taken another blow and he could do nothing to claw any of it back.

Sasuke pulled out and stood over Kakashi. He licked his lips.

“Mmm. I love the taste of your blood.”

Kakashi shuddered and whimpered. Sasuke smirked. Last time Sasuke hadn’t hung around after to see Kakashi’s pathetic and humiliating state in the aftermath. Kakashi’s hoped the raven haired man would leave before he shamed himself any further. He was afraid he may not be able to stop himself from crying, whimpering or pleading. 

Sasuke prodded Kakashi’s ass cheeks apart with his foot so he could watch his seed dribble out of Kakashi along with the blood. He sighed lustfully. 

“Stay like this whilst I work. Not that you’re fit to move much yet. Whenever this shitty paper work becomes too much, all I have to do is look up and see just why this job is worth the hassle.”

As Sasuke walked round to his desk, despair filled Kakashi. He couldn’t even clean himself up or get away from those dark eyes. He had lost his privacy in all sense and shame burned behind his eyes; he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He cried silently and Sasuke saw this. Every now and then he glanced up at Kakashi, hungry and approving.

“Maybe I can break you sooner than I’d hoped.”

 

***

 

After a while- Kakashi had no idea just how long had passed- he finally managed to pull himself together a bit when Sasuke was absorbed in reading a report in front of him. He pushed himself to his knees. 

Sasuke felt the movement and his eyes flashed dangerously in Kakashi’s direction.

“You’ve already had your fill. I’m defeated and humiliated at your feet; let me go for today. Let me recover in peace.” 

Kakashi avoided Sasuke’s eyes and mentioning the rape. He just couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud to anyone, even his rapist, even himself.

Sasuke rose from his desk and Kakashi tensed. He walked around to the silver haired man crumpled on the floor.

“You still don’t seem to understand the way this works. I give the orders. You obey. You do not move without my permission. Your life is mine. Your body is mine. I am your Hokage in all things.”

He kicked Kakashi in the stomach. Kakashi coughed and bent over, clutching his middle. Sasuke kicked him onto his back and kicked his ribs when the jonin protested. Kakashi was still in pain from before; this time he couldn’t prevent his screams when Sasuke moved over him.

“Sasuke no, please, not now, not again. Please Sasuke.”

He scratched at Sasuke’s face and chest, and tried to push him off, even as he begged- his movements were like that of a wild animal caught in a trap. Sasuke just slapped him until he stayed quiet and stopped fighting. By that time, Kakashi’s face was swollen and red. It stung and his previous bruises which once again become more prominent now their healing had been interrupted.

“Good. Stay quiet like a good bitch. I will do this again and again until you learn your place. You are weaker than me now.”

He took Kakashi again. It was agony. His abused and bleeding entrance hadn’t even healed from before and it hurt all the more this time. Kakashi covered his face with his hands and wailed pitifully into them. Sasuke not seeing his face was the only small comfort he could take from this.

When he had finished all he said was “stay” before heading to his desk again. Like Kakashi was some lowly dog to be trained.

The rest of the day passed in much the same manner. The sun moved across the sky. No one knocked on the Hokage’s door and Kakashi thought that Karin must have warned the others of Sasuke’s mood that morning.

By the time it reached evening Sasuke stood and walked towards Kakashi leaning over him. Kakashi flinched and curled up in a bloody, bruised ball. 

“Oh, don’t worry; I won’t take you again today. The thought had crossed my mind but I’m afraid I might do some permanent damage to that tight ass. I intend make good use of it from now on, so I am prepared to allow you some time recover.”

He passed Kakashi his clothes and stood back, watching the silver haired man change shakily. Kakashi couldn’t look Sasuke in the eye, he felt so humiliated. He feared he would be too ashamed to look at his own reflection and see the evidence of Sasuke’s lust and rage for himself.

As Kakashi headed for the door Sasuke cleared his throat. Kakashi hastily turned and bowed, hating himself for doing so.

“I will see you tomorrow Kakashi. I won’t take you again, but you will still serve me.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”


	12. Chapter 12

Despite his slight apprehensiveness when he woke that morning, Gai felt that the day had been success. Not having the gates anymore had made him feel weak and useless but after today he had learnt that he could still help his village. Where shinobi had looked down on him and his loud, enthusiastic ways, the civilians loved him. His good cheer and positive energy pushed them on, even though they had no chakara to perform the feats of strength he could. He supposed that shinobi had arrogantly shunned them for being weak and having no importance in the old days, so now they were more than happy for a teacher as accepting and optimistic as Gai.

Although things came slower to the civilians than shinobi, particularly the older generations, he felt confident that he could help them progress and master some basic self defense. In fact he felt proud of what they had achieved today and proud to have been a part of it. Yes, although he had lost a significant ability and source of power during the war, he felt more than content with the new world and peace and his place in it- although he wished at hadn't come at such a cost.

The fact of the matter was that Gai didn't trust Sasuke. No one who killed their one time friends and comrades could be. You had to be cold hearted to do something like that. Yet Sasuke was doing so much good. He had initiated the civilian training program that Gai was leading (alongside Iruka) and had imposed the new age restrictions. He had also opened a soup kitchen for the homeless who had lost their homes during all the shinobi wars. He was also taxing all of the villages to build new homes for them. So much from so much evil... if he wasn't seeing it for himself, Gai wouldn't have thought it possible.

When six o' clock struck Gai saw his students out of the room with a grin plastered to his face. His final class had been with the elderly of Konoha. It wasn't really expected that they would achieve much, especially if they actually were attacked, but it wasn't fair to leave anyone citizens out. Gai had insisted on that. Besides some of them had lost their family during the wars and had no one left. He wanted to build a sense and community spirit and give them somewhere to go. He had been surprised to find that some of them had in fact awakened some chakara they hadn't even known they had had. Not much of course, but it had been a great achievement all the same.

Yet as Gai waved his students off he felt a sinking feeling of disappointment; his rival hadn't come. He knew it was silly of him to hope as Kakashi had told him he would be busy working with Sasuke, but a stupid deluded part of him had actually fooled himself into thinking that he would come to see how his first day went, maybe bring him a gift to congratulate him. Like that time Gai had bought him his plant when he made ANBU and the chocolate selection when he took on his first genin team, and the flowers when he had temporarily been made Hokage. Of course Gai had still been in hospital when Kakashi had taken the job working for Sasuke, but he had bought some chocolates all the same, ready to exchange when Kakashi brought his gift... only it seemed that Kakashi hadn't got him one-

Wait! What was Gai thinking, of course he had! Gai was always the optimist and he would not doubt his rival now. Kakashi just hadn't finished work yet, that was all. With this happy thought, Gai swooped Iruka up into a goodbye hug (it was so tight Iruka thought a rib might crack) and bounded out the door.

Rubbing his ribs Iruka called, "Same time tomorrow, Maito- don't be late!"

He heard in the distance, "If I am late I will do five hundred laps around the village and sumo wrestle that bear..." 

Gai was too far away to hear the rest. Iruka was grateful. As much as he enjoyed working with the positive bundle of spandex clad energy that was Maito Gai, his mind found it hard to fathom some of the mad things he declared.

 

***

 

Kakashi managed to get home without seeing anyone he knew. The sun had already set as he found his way to his shower. He didn't even bother to switch the hot water on. He sat on his knees on the floor of the cubicle with freezing water gushing down on him, and cried. He was grateful for the water that washed away his shame, blood and tears. It was so cold it was painful and made him shake. But at least it took his mind off him. At least momentarily. 

After much time had passed, and his fingers looked shriveled from the water he turned the shower off and rose. He left it on shaking legs. He was so weak and trembling he wasn't sure he would make it into the living room. 

With unsteady hands and wobbly legs he crawled under the blanket on his sofa, where Sakura had stayed the previous night. He couldn't face his bedroom. Not tonight. That was where Sasuke had beaten and taken him that first night. 

Kakashi curled up under the covers, his body violently shaking from the cold- he hadn't even bothered to dry himself off. His stomach growled with hunger, but he didn't want to move. He wasn't even sure he could keep any food down, he felt dizzy and sick. His head still throbbed from where Sasuke had repeatedly hit him.

No, no he couldn't think about that. Please Kami, please, let sleep find me. Let me fall into unconsciousness. Let this all be a terrible nightmare.

 

***

 

Showered in and dressed in a fresh change of spandex Gai cooked his favourite super spicy curry (enough for two) while he not so patiently awaited his rival. He danced about the kitchen and sang as he cooked. For the first time since Neji he felt happiness warm him. 

Once the food was ready he let it simmer on the lowest heat possible while he drained the rice and put it in a covered tub to keep it from cooling too quickly. It was late but he was sure he rival would come soon, would not forget him. He had felt so alone recently in the hospital as he faced the fact that he couldn't protect Neji or anyone else- his sacrifice with the eight gates had been in vain. He needed to think that Kakashi cared for him, despite his failures. It still hurt Rock Lee and Tenten too much to talk about Neji. And Kakashi had also lost a student during the war, so he would understand. They would comfort each other.

As Gai was doing his press ups and trying to stay positive as the evening grew later, he heard it- a knock on the door! He jumped up and opened it with crazy speed only he could muster.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee smiled and held out some expensive sake. "I have brought a gift to congratulate you on the first day of your new and most noble career. Please tell me all about it!"

"Sensei!" Tenten appeared from behind her team mate. "I hope your first day back to work went well. No one could keep you on sick leave for long, eh?" She held out a gift set of spices for his curries. 

Oh his beautiful youthful students. Knowing they cared so much brought tears to his eyes.

Gai beamed at them and stood back to let them through. He was disappointed his rival hadn't come, but Gai was always a glass-half-full kind of person. How could he be upset when he had such wonderful students vising him. 

Of course he had only cooked enough for two, but he was sure they would all be fine with a smaller portion- Gai did have a bad habit of cooking too much after all in his enthusiasm for cooking.

"Right, let's get some saucers for the sake!" he boomed and followed them into the kitchen.

 

***

 

It was quite already nine when Tenten and Rock Lee left his apartment. He waved them off with his usual enthusiasm and headed back into his room. Hmmm nine o'clock. Was that too late to visit Kakashi? His eyes lingered on the chocolates. Just because he had forgotten about Gai, did not mean he would do the same or hold a grudge. His rival was probably just busy with his new job after all. He was certain that Sasuke had chosen his rival to be his right hand man and trusted adviser. And that position warranted a celebration. 

Letting the sake boost his determination he nodded to himself and picked up his gift for Kakashi. The smells of chili, soy sauce and curry powder still hung in the air as he closed the door of his flat and headed into the night. He walked quickly to Kakashi's with a spring in his step.

Once there he knocked three times as he usually did. But there came no answer. That was odd. He had started work early hadn't he, so surely he wouldn't still be working? Although his job was of higher importance than what Gai did. Working for the leader of all of the great shinobi nations must come with a limited amount of free time. Still Gai hoped that as it was a time of peace, Sasuke wasn't working Kakashi too hard.

He knocked again. Just as he was about to give up and head back home he heard a smash, like broken glass. Then a gasp. Was that Kakashi? Or... an intruder!

It couldn't be Kakashi, he would have let Gai in by now. An intruder it was! It had to be a thief... or an assassin! Either way they were in for a world of pain when Gai got hold of them. He couldn't use the gates anymore but he was still the great Green Beast of Konoha!

Using a senbon he unpicked the lock and pulled the door open. It was all dark in Kakashi's apartment, the only light coming from the hall where Gai entered, which only added to his suspicions. He heard some- was that whimpering?- coming from the living room. 

"Gai, just go away!" He heard Kakashi's voice call. "I- I'm not in the mood."

Gai sighed with relief that (and slight disappointment- he did love to give a good butt-kicking to criminals after all) that it hadn't been an intruder. 

"Rival! I am so sorry to have woken you from your youthful and well earned slumber! I thought that your home was threatened by an intruder! I just came to give you the gift I owed you for your honorable new position but it is no matter if you are tired, I will leave it here and speak with you another time."

Silence and heavy breathing came from Kakashi's direction. Then finally. "OK... bye."

What? Gai wasn't sure he had heard right. Just 'bye'? No biting sarcastic remark. No rolling his eyes, grumbling and announcing 'well, as your already here you might as well stay for a bit and have some sake with me...' 

Just what was wrong with Kakashi?

Gai felt himself tense. Something wasn't right. He switched on the light and took in the scene of the living room. His stomach tightened with unease at what he saw.

A glass on the coffee table had clearly been knocked over and smashed when Gai had knocked. Yet Kakashi hadn't moved to clean it up. Yes, the man could be a slob, but who left broken glass strewn about their floor? Kakashi himself was under a blanket, completely hidden from Gai. He was curled up and shaking.

Shaking?

Something was definitely wrong.

Gai took a breath. "Kakashi," he said slowly and purposefully. "Look at me."

"Please... just go. I- I really am tired, Gai. Please."

Kakashi saying 'please'. Yep, something weird had happened. That man had no manners! Especially around Gai.

"I'm not an idiot, Kakashi." He reached the blanket. "Something has you spooked."

He pulled it off, forcefully. Kakashi tried to cling to it like a wild animal.

The instant he wrestled it away from the younger man he knew why Kakashi had hidden behind it. Kakashi's face- his unmasked face which was worrying in itself since he knew Kakashi slept with his mask on- was even more bruised and swollen than it had been that morning. Not only that but there was a fresh cut on his the top of his forehead. His lips looked sore, like they had been bitten hard. His naked torso was also bruised but not bandaged. What the hell had happened?

"Kakashi," Gai said carefully- Kakashi still had a wild look in his eyes, like he was afraid of Gai. "I think you had better tell me what happened."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Woo this is the second fic I have updated this week. Finally getting back into regular writing :) So this is the aftermath of the previous chapter. Thanks for all the comments and kudos so far. I appreciating all of them. This chapter took bloody ages to write so I am glad it is now posted.
> 
> Oh and by the way I started this fic before the final chapter of Naruto so... that is why Gai is erm... different shall we say?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I was just reading some Naruto stuff online and it seems that in the time of the new movie Sasuke is actually taller than Kakashi! But Gai is taller than them both- oh no I shouldn't have thought about Gai and the new movie, it just makes me sad...
> 
> Once again thanks for the comments and Kudos.
> 
> Anyway on with the story! I know this fic is particularly dark and violent... but it still seems to be getting hits despite that...so I'm glad.

"Just... just leave it, Gai."

  
"No."

  
"Gai..."

  
"You know I can't do that, Kakashi."

 

  
This situation is exactly what Kakashi had been afraid of. No one could know what had happened. Especially Gai, who would immediately want to confront Sasuke. Kakashi's eyes flitted about wildly, trying to analyse the situation like he normally would. He just wished his heart would stop pumping so fast. It felt like it would explode in his chest. If he didn't need to convince Gai he was fine, he may have vomited.

  
_OK, think Kakashi..._ there was no way that Gai could know the extent of what had hapened, only that Kakashi had taken a beating. Maybe he could throw him off.

  
At any rate, Gai wasn't budging anytime soon. He had to say something ot get him to leave. And Gai had to leave. If Sasuke found them... he feared it would be much worse than how he had reacted to Sakura being there.

  
"I was sent on a mission. On the way back I was attacked."

  
Gai raised his eyebrows questioningly.

  
"What mission?"

  
"Just- just checking an outpost for Sa- for the Hokage."

  
Gai nodded. It was a believable enough mission... but something just didn't feel right about this.

  
"Why would anyone attack you?"

  
"I dunno. I work for the Supreme Hokage. Isn't that enough?"

  
Kakashi's words held some of their usual sarcasm and mocking tone. Like he was irritated at Gai for asking something obvious. Like this were just a normal situation. And in fact, if he thought about it, it actually was. Shinobi were attacked all the time. Both Gai and Kakashi had taken many severe beatings in their time as shinobi of the leaf.

  
But Kakashi had never looked this shaken before.

 

  
***

 

  
Sasuke didn't bother going to bed that night. He stayed in his office and had watched the sun set. He felt weary and sated, but not tired enough to sleep. He didn't know what to do with himself and he was bored of paperwork. There had been a few hiccups in establishing order but generally his new world seemed to be going as he had hoped. Every nation had one of his men watching over it on his behalf. He was Supreme Hokage and ruled all. And their world had never been so peaceful. Some called him a dictator. Some a savior.

  
Not that he cared what anyone thought. He knew his goals and he knew how to maintain order. As much as it irked him to admit it, Orochimaru had been particularly useful is keeping rebellion at bay. The last of the sanin instilled much fear in the survivors from the war. There were rumors of the man's immortality. Yet Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if the sanin would always be so happy to work under Sasuke. After all, the pale man had left the Leaf and then the Akatsuki to find his own way. Could Sasuke keep him under control? OR would Orochimaru one day betray him? The man already made... rather difficult demands.

  
Sasuke was playing solitaire alone and contemplating his newfound politics when he heard a gentle knock.

  
"Enter."

  
The door of his office opened to reveal the bright mop of hair and large stature that belonged to Juugo.

  
"Hokage-sama," he greeted pleasantly enough.

  
Sasuke waved him closer. Out of his team he had always found Juugo's company the most bearable. He was serious, quiet and kept out of the immature squabbles of the other two.

  
"What is it?"

  
"Sorry to disturb you so late, but I thought you would want to know immediately. The memorial for Itachi has been signed off as complete."

  
Sasuke's eyes widened. Although he had been the one to order twenty-hour work on the memorial, with teams working in shifts, even he didn't think the progress would be this quick.

  
"You did well, Juugo. Thank you."

  
If they had been anyone else, they may have discussed the project, or Sasuke's mixed feelings towards his brother and village. However both Sasuke and Juugo were stoic young men of few words, especially concerning such intimate subjects. Sasuke ordered and did as he pleased; Juugo quietly and unquestioningly followed his orders. That was how it had always been.

  
When Juugo had left, the young Hokage rose from his seat and turned to the window. It was time to look at the stone face of his brother and remember him, honour him and pray to his spirit.

  
It was still hard to think of Itachi. Since discovering the truth of the village elders and the Uchiha massacre, he had been unable to do so with out being taken over by a blinding, bubbling rage. An anger was not easily sated. Often he had mercilessly hunted missing nin to spill someone's, anyone's blood, or even worn himself out with rough and violent sex at brothels. As he spent himself, momentarily releasing the vengeful fire in his heart, he would long for his sensei beneath him.

  
Now he had killed them all. Danzo, the elders, the Hokage (sadly not the Third but that couldn't be helped). He even had claimed Kakashi as his. Yet Sasuke still held onto that bitterness. Would any amount of killing and fucking dispel the anger and hatred for the shinobi world that he felt sometimes? He hoped that by paving war-free future for the new generation it would mean no one would ever have to suffer as his elder brother had.

  
When Sasuke reached the graveyard he saw it. The large and beautifully sculpted statue. His brother stood tall and strong, looking over the village in death as he had in life. Delicately carved kanji could be read on the inscription. It told the story of the true hero of the leaf, Uchiha Itachi. They would see these words and honour him generations from now. Flowers surrounded the statue, roses of the deepest red and black. Like the sharingan.

  
Sasuke would spend a whole night knelt in front of the fine craftsmanship. For once he didn't even spare a thought for his ex-sensei and new lover. He didn't bother to check on him like he had on many nights previous. The man would be too weak and broken to go anywhere. And he had removed Sakura from the equation.

  
A tear slid down his cheek. It was followed soon by another. No, Sasuke remained alone in his grief, in front of his brother, undisturbed in the quiet of the night.

 

  
***

 

  
Gai found what he was looking for; the first aid kit. He approached the figure on the sofa who had once again pulled the blanket around himself. He wouldn't meet Gai's eyes. The dark haired sensei sighed as he knelt in front of the younger man. Kakashi flinched.

  
"Kakashi, please let me do this."

  
"I told you, I can do it myself. If you would just leave and give me some privacy."

  
"Hmmm now I know you're lying! The Kakashi I know has never bothered to lick his own wounds," Gai smiled bitterly. He reached out yet Kakashi continued to pull away from him.

  
It was strange seeing Kakashi's face. Though bruised and swollen it was impossible not to see the beauty there. What skin hadn't been hit was white and silky looking and Gai longed to touch it. Just to stroke the man and tell him that everything would be OK. But how could he, if Kakashi wouldn't confide in him. After all they had been through over the years, he had hoped that his rival would trust him.

  
Seeing Kakashi like this, without his mask, struggling to hold up his barriers, looking so vulnerable... it brought back memories of a time long ago. A time Gai often selfishly longed for.

  
Over the years Kakashi had withdrawn into himself many times. He had let himself go, barely ate, hidden himself away from the world. It pained Gai every time he had to watch his rival fall apart. Sakumo, Obito, Rin, Minato, Jiraiya and... Obito again, Tsunade, Shizune and now Naruto. But Gai would always be there for him and take care of him when he wouldn't take care of himself. Just like he always had. Just like he always will.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flashback one, which is why it is in italic. Warning- angst, romance and misunderstandings ahead! Merry Christmas people!

_Kakashi headed out of the small shop with two bags, its contents clicking together. This day was the two year anniversary since the kyuubi attack. Kakashi was sixteen and he had never had a drink before, except that time his sensei had allowed him a sip of his own sake when they celebrated the new of Kushina's pregnancy. Sensei..._

_No, Kakashi couldn't think about his sensei... he had to forget, it was just too painful on this night. That was why he had purchased the bags of various alcoholic drinks. He knew his ANBU colleagues always went for a drink after difficult missions, to forget the deeds they had just committed. To alleviate their guilt. And that is just what Kakashi needed to do right now._

_As Kakashi rounded the corner of the street he had been walking down, he heard the usual call._

_"Riiiiiiiiiivaaaaaaal!"  
_  
Oh no...not tonight. _Kakashi just wasn't in the mood._

_"Hey! Rival! Stop walking!" The green blur caught up to him, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder and was swung round to face the older teen. "I challenge-" Gai paused. What was with that scowl on his rival's face? Admittedly, yes, he didn't always look happy to see Gai, but he usually looked mildly bored, not hostile. And Kakashi's eyes looked slightly bloodshot. Whether from lack of sleep or crying it was hard to tell._

_"Rival, are you OK?"_

_"Yes."_

_As Kakashi shrugged out of Gai's grip the clink of bottles could be heard._

_"Oh, you must be having a most youthful gathering of-"_

_"No, Gai, I'm not. No, you can't join me. I don't have time for this." And without another word Kakashi stalked off. Unperturbed, Gai called after him:_

_"But what about our challenge?!"_

_"There isn't one," the silver haired sixteen year-old called, without even looking over his shoulder, until he had disappeared from view._

_Gai sighed at his rival's rudeness and walked away. He really hoped Kakashi wasn't this rude to everyone. He wondered why he was being especially-_

_That's it._

_The anniversary of his sensei's death._

_Gai paused, torn between running after his rival and pulling him into a manly yet soothing hug, or giving him his space. He decided on the latter. Kakashi really didn't like anyone interfering in his business. Yet the unease in his stomach made him feel slightly sick as he headed to his own home._

_***_

_Midnight. Gai tossed and turned but he couldn't sleep. Thoughts of his rival kept him awake. No matter what mean things Kakashi said to him, the young man must be lonely. It was this that caused Gai to rise from his bed, shove on a jumpsuit, and creep across the rooftops to Kakashi's home._

_He needn't intrude on his rival's privacy; Kakashi didn't even have to know he was there. He would just check on him, that's all. He just wanted to make sure he was OK, so he could sleep._

_Yet as Gai peered through the window he saw no sign of the silver haired ANBU. There was clear evidence he had been there, like empty sake and beer bottles littering the floor, broken china and noodles that had clearly slid down the wall not so long ago- Kakashi must have thrown his dinner against the wall in rage or despair._

_Another shinobi may have taken that as a sign to go home and not get involved in something so troublesome, especially if it could turn violent. But Maito Gai was not another shinobi._

_He searched all over Konoha for the man, but it didn't take long to find him. He had been where Gai suspected- at the memorial stone._

_Kakashi was sat on his knees, crunched forwards as he mumbled into his hands. For Gai, who had never seen him in such a sorry state, it was a huge shock. As he knelt beside Kakashi he nearly winced. The young man stank of booze._

_"Kakashi," Gai placed his hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "We need to get you home to sleep this off."_

_"Go away," the man mumbled, slurred. "Stick your goodie fucking goodie nose in somewhere else."_

_Gai sighed. "Kakashi..."_

_"You'll never be Obito. He was my best friend. And the third could never be Minato. No one will ever replace them. So just fuck off."_

_Gai was irritated now. Kakashi had struck a nerve. "I never wanted to replace, Obito; I'm your rival, I already had that place in your life." Gai smirked at the memory of his first challenge to Kakashi. "No one will ever replace your team, Kakashi. It is perfectly fine to mourn them and remember them. But you have to move on with your life too, you cannot dwell on the past like this."_

_"...But I can't. Everyday I see them, Gai. They watch me, they judge me. They accuse me. I failed them all, I let them-"_

_Here Gai pulled Kakashi up. "No! You didn't allow anything of the sort. I will not sit here and let you say that, feeling sorry for yourself. Get your sorry ass up!"  
He pulled Kakashi into his arms and carried him home._

_***_

_Kakashi had to admit it himself, but had liked the feeling of being in Gai's arms. To let go of everything and let someone help carry his burden. Gai's arms were strong and warm.  
Gai had forced Kakashi to drink as much water as he could and put his rival to bed. Just in case anything else happened, he slept on Kakashi's sofa. He would watch over his eternal rival and make sure he didn't do anything else stupid._

_It was after he had fallen asleep for a few hours himself that he suddenly felt the weight of someone on his lap, straddling his waist._

_"Gai..."_

_He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Kakashi was dressed in nothing but his mask and he was nuzzling Gai._

_"Kakashi- what-"_

_"I need you to help me forget. Please, Gai, take me, punish me, make the pain go away."_

_Gai was too dumbfounded to speak. Kakashi used the opportunity to press himself up to Gai and kiss him, gently biting Gai's lower lip. "Please Gai, I thought you cared about me..."_

_Gai's brain suddenly seemed to start working. He pushed Kakashi off him._

_"I do care for you Kakashi, more than I have cared for anyone else, which is why I can't do this. I can't take advantage of you."_

_"It's OK. I have slept it off. But I can't sleep long. Ever. They come to me in my dreams. You're not taking advantage, I want this."_

_"But I don't." Gai was lying, of course, but Kakashi didn't need to know that. Gai loved his rival, and thought of him often. If it weren't for the circumstances, this would have been a dream come true._

_"You can have me any way you want, you can take me roughly, I will be your whore. Just... just make me feel something... anything else but this..."_

_So that's it. Kakashi wanted Gai to treat him as if he was dirty and undeserving of love. Well that was something Gai would never do. He was Kakashi, who was grinding himself against Gai's sex, but he would never treat the man as anything less than the one he loves._

_"Kakashi," Gai kissed his forehead and stroked silky silver hair, trying to ignore his growing arousal. "If you want me, I'm yours. But I would never hurt you. You can't keep punishing yourself. None of it was your fault."_

_"So you won't help me..." Kakashi's eyes were wet. "Why would you want to to be with someone like me who allowed-"_

_"Enough Kakashi! You're beautiful, but I won't do this to you. I won't hurt you. Sex isn't supposed to be about this, it is beautiful and loving."_

_"I'm not like you, Gai, I don't deserve beautiful or loving. That's why I've never..."_

_Kakashi was a virgin? That was rare among ANBU, even ones his age. No one had ever loved Kakashi, Gai thought. No one had ever shown him how special he was. This was difficult for Gai, part of him was screaming that this was wrong regardless of Kakashi sleeping off his previous state, he was taking advantage. The other part of him wanted to show Kakashi just how adored he was, how much Gai wanted to take care of him, and how much he deserved to be loved._

_"OK Kakashi," Gai said, watching Kakashi's expression. "I will give you what you want. But on my terms; I will treat you exactly as you deserve to be treated."_

_***_

_Gai kept his promise. He was gentle, loving, and caring, handling Kakashi as if he were a precious jewel. He kissed him all over, whispered loving words. He pulled off Kakashi's mask, insisting to see him as he made love to him. He couldn't hide his joy at seeing his rival's beautiful face. It was like that of an angel, he thought. He planted butterfly kisses all over, wishing that Kakashi didn't feel the need to hide himself from the world._

_Kakashi looked uncomfortable at first, but soon he relaxed and began to enjoy himself. He had never allowed himself to sleep with anyone before, he had always felt he didn't deserve to be so happy._

_He had tried to sleep with Gai on a whim, to distract himself from his nightmares. He didn't expect his self-proclaimed rival to care so much for him, to be so tender and gentle. If Kakashi weren't losing himself in his pleasure he would have been afraid of his own feelings; he felt happy and safe in those moments._

_When they had both spent themselves, Gai pulled Kakashi to him and held him tight._

_"You'll never have to feel undeserving again, Kakashi. I will watch over you. I love you."_

_Gai's words were soothing and Kakashi allowed himself to be held as he fell asleep again, one of the most peaceful sleeps of his life._

_When Kakashi woke the next day he had instantly panicked as he recalled the events of the previous night. He had dropped his guard. He had promised himself he would never allow himself to love or be loved again; he was a curse and everyone he cared for, or cared about him died. Gai was a good honest man, and needed someone better than him.  
He recalled Gai's words: Gai loved him. Kakashi couldn't allow that to happen. No matter what Gai said, he knew he was worthless. _

_***_

_Gai woke up to find that Kakashi was gone. Of course he sought his rival immediately. And he found him on a bench in the park reading. Gai was hurt Kakashi had just taken off like that, but he knew that his new lover- his stomach felt giddy with glee when he used that word to describe Kakashi- must have a good reason._

_"Kakashi," he beamed, determined not to let his hurt show._

_"Gai."_

_So they were back to their usual games already. Gai smiled, glad Kakashi wasn't upset anymore and that he wasn't being awkward after their love making._

_"So, my beloved rival," Gai said, noticing Kakashi winced slightly at his choice of words. "Shall I treat you to breakfast?" Gai wanted to show Kakashi just what a youthful gentlemen he could be. He hoped last night would be the first of many now they had started their beautiful courtship. After all Kakashi had never been with anyone else and had allowed Gai to passionately sweep him off his feet._

_"Nah, I've already eaten."_

_"Oh. Well how about a morning jog around the-"_

_"Look Gai, if you're after a challenge, I'm not interested."_

_Gai stood back, clearly hurt. "What? Of course not, I just want to spend time with you after-"_

_Kakashi stood quickly. "OK, then, gotta go."_

_Gai grabbed Kakashi's shoulder. The other man tensed. "Kakashi please, we need to talk about what happened-"_

_"Nothing happened," Kakashi said coldly, and walked away from Gai's touch._

_"Kakashi..." Gai whispered as tears spilled from his eyes. Moments ago he was elated that he had finally found happiness. His dreams had been tarnished with his love's indifference._

_Kakashi meanwhile, had to hold in his own tears as he continued away, never looking back. He was nothing but trash after he had allowed all of his friends to die. He had killed Rin, the girl who loved him, with his own hands. He wasn't good enough for Gai and didn't deserve such love and affection. As much as being so cold to Gai hurt him, he knew had to be cruel to be kind._

_He was sure he was doing the right thing and Gai would soon forget their night together. Gai was a good honest man after all, even if a bit crazy (in an adorable way Kakashi couldn't help but add). He would soon find a decent and kind lover._

_Kakashi had to be alone to protect anyone from getting hurt again. And to protect himself. He didn't think he could lose another loved one. So he wouldn't allow himself to love or be loved._

_But Gai never forgot that night. Gai blamed himself for Kakashi's reaction, sure it was because he had indecently taken advantage of his sweet rival. He was disgusted with himself. Gai swore he would never take advantage of his rival sexually again. He loved him too much to hurt him. But he couldn't stop caring for Kakashi or wanting to look after him, even if he could never be with him as a lover._

_The memories of that love was bittersweet for Gai, and although Kakashi had rejected his love, he would never stop caring for him , no matter what. He would always watch over his rival. He would always love him._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so I have pulled a late one tonight updating both this fic and A Mask Through Time in one evening... phew! It isn't a long chapter but I hope you enjoy :)

Kakashi gave in and allowed Gai to tend to his wounds. He had been worried one of Kakashi's ribs was broken, but it just seemed to be bruising. He soothed and cooed as he worked, wiping Kakashi's cuts with a hot flannel. When he had to disinfect the cuts Kakashi cursed quietly but sat still. It was clear to Gai that his beloved rival had taken a beating on more than one occasion, judging by the damage and that some injuries were healing. 

When Gai touched Kakashi's leg, just placing his hand there for a moment whilst he adjusted his position, Kakashi let out a pitiful whimper. Something Gai had never heard from his rival in all their years together, fighting side by side.

Anger that had been slowly boiling inside him now exploded. He slammed his hand on the coffee table, making it shake and nearly breaking it. 

"Damn it, Kakashi! Just what is going on? This- this isn't you. Who is doing this to you? Why don't you trust me?"

Kakashi winced when he raised his voice. "I already told you what happened-"

"I am not an idiot, you have been attacked before-"

"I carry out many missions for the Hokage, and yes not everyone agrees with his rule, so they take it out on me, OK? And I already told you that I was training with Sakura the other day. That girl can pack a punch."

Gai's eyes narrowed and he watched Kakashi suspiciously.

Kakashi sighed. "Can we, can we just leave it, Gai?" Kakashi sighed, exhausted. But he also looked...was he afraid of something? Gai found it hard to believe. But something was clearly not right with this situation. He would bet his beloved green jumpsuits that Kakashi was keeping something from him.

Gai thought about Kakashi's story. Yes, it all made sense but something just didn't seem right. And Kakashi wouldn't tell him any more. So Gai said nothing, and continued his work with patience and care.

When he had done all he could for Kakashi's body and injuries, he cleaned up the broken glass. Then he made Kakashi some tea and miso soup, with a little rice and vegetables. Kakashi tried to protest but Gai refused to leave until he had seen his rival eat it. All of it. Kakashi gave him a weak smile and muttered something about stubborn jonin before giving in without further argument.

It was just like all those times before when Kakashi had been starving himself while mourning. Every time it was like he fell apart and gave up on life but yet still seemed to afraid to follow the path of his father- something Gai was grateful for at any rate.

When Kakashi had finished eating, Gai suddenly shoved something into his hands. He raised his eyebrows questioningly, looking like his normal self again, before carefully unwrapping the gift.

"Chocolates?"

Gai nodded. "Yes- a present for you, commending you on your youthful and honorable new position."

Kakashi laughed bitterly. "It's not as great as you think."

"I can see that," Gai said, indicating his wounds. 

"Gai... just... thank you."

He suddenly grabbed onto Gai, the box of chocolates still in one hand, and hung onto the bigger man tightly. Gai patted him on the back, sure he was in heaven. That was until he heard the unmistakable sound of a sob from Kakashi.

Gai was scared now. Kakashi never cried.

Still he said nothing and held his love in his arms. Gai wondered if Kakashi knew of his feelings for him. Even after that bitter morning of rejection so many years ago, Gai's feelings had never wavered. He had tried to move on many times, dated some women here and there, but no one could ever compete with Kakashi. He would never love anyone other than his best friend and rival. Kakashi had his heart and could use it or break it as he wished.

When Kakashi calmed a bit, Gai whispered in his ear. 

"I know you won't tell me who hurt you, but when I find them, I will kill them."

Gai wasn't stupid like many people thought. He knew there was more to this situation than Kakahsi was letting on. And he was determined to keep a closer eye on his rival from now on.

Kakashi froze, frightened of the repercussions of this night. Gai rocked them both, with Kakashi in his arms. Kakashi knew there was no point answering. When Gai made a promise he meant it. Kakashi would just have to make sure he was more careful. He could not, under any cirumstances, allow Gai to find out the truth. Not only was there his reputation to worry about, but Gai's safety. He would want to confront the young Hokage. Sasuke would kill Gai, just like all the others. 

And no matter the cost to Kakashi, he would never allow that.

So he would brush Gai off again if he had to. He would be cruel to be kind, just like before.

He would keep his shameful secrets from the only person that ever truly loved him.

But not tonight. Tonight, just for this night, he would allow Gai to comfort him. He would selfishly allow his sweet words and gentle caresses.

Just for tonight.

 

***

Gai allowed Kakashi to fall asleep in his arms. Then he carried him to the bedroom and tucked him in. Kakashi had looked so tired and anxious previously, but now his beautiful uncovered features were at peace. Gai watched protectively as he slept. He stroked his hair and silently vowed to watch over him as best as he could, not just for the night but for the rest of his life. 

He didn't know who had attacked Kakashi, but he knew he couldn't let it happen again. Gai was so annoyed at himself. He had been so caught up in his own grief for Neji and his self pity at not being able to use his prized gates anymore that he hadn't even noticed what was happening to his rival. 

But that would change from this moment. Gai would keep a closer eye on Kakashi from now on. Now Naruto wasn't around, and Sakura (according to Lee) had left the village, it was Gai's duty to stick by Kakashi. 

Before leaving for a night on Kakashi's sofa, like another night of grief so long ago, Gai kissed Kakashi's forehead, and whispered, "Good night my eternal love."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wanted to get this chapter out before I head out tonight :) this is my New Year gift to you all, a slightly longer chapter :) wishing you all the best- don't drink too much :o

The first red rays of sunlight crept over the horizen and bathed Konoha in its deep glow. The graveyard of the village hidden in the leaves was no different and did not escape the glossy red of the dawn sun. A few leaves gently fell from some trees, landing near the young man of raven hair that was knelt silently before the beautiful new addition to the place. 

Sasuke had wept his tormented tears hours previously, yet he still stayed in front of the memorial dedicated to his brother, the greatest Uchiha. In front of the intricately molded statue, he had found some peace, if only for a night. After the bitterness and pain poured from his eyes, the young Hokage had waited for them to dry up again, as if they had never existed. As sasuke meditated before Itachi's memory, the subtle streaks that stained his cheeks, were all that hinted of his anguish.

He had spoken to his brother's spirit and had come to the conclusion that he accepted his decisions, even if he did not entirely agree with all of his brother's actions. After all, it had not been Itachi's fault; the blame lay at the rotting world of the shinobi who had forced his hands. Their decrepit, greedy claws had been so desperate to hold onto their power and strength that they had pushed his brother to murder and the betrayal of his clan.

It were shinobi who were at fault. The generations before him who had allowed such despicable devastation. And he had burned away the grime, taking out the kage one by one. He alone had done the dirty work to clean the way for a better, brighter future. And now he must safeguard his new world, and preserve it for the next generations.

Naruto, like Sasuke, had also wanted change. But Naruto did not have it what took to implement it. His vision was too small. Naruto was weak, and a fool. He had naively thought that if he merely reasoned with them, they would magically change their ways and generations of firm beliefs. Sasuke was not so stupid.

Naruto had been Sasuke's best friend once. And he had been an honest bundle of energy. If Sasuke was the darkness, he was the light. But the light could never shine without the shadows. That is why Sasuke was suited to being Hokage. He was stronger and knew the difficult decisions that lay ahead. Naruto's ideals never had any real chance to succeed. But Sasuke had seen the world for what it was and that was why it had to be him, not Naruto, who had to rid the world of those who would bring it down. Like the kage.

But as long as that blond hero had run about, spouting his unattainable morals and good will, the idiots would still have hope. That is why he had to go. And Sasuke was the only one capable to eliminating Naruto and enforcing the change the shinobi world desperately needed.

As the first rays of light landed on Sasuke, he decided it was time to leave and break his silent mourning and mediation. 

Dawn had only just struck and he wanted to leave before he was seen. He also needed a few hours of rest before his day really started. Sasuke considered stopping at Kakashi's apartment. Seeing him sleeping peacefully may help him relax, but it was already close to morning and his sensei would soon report to the Hokage tower for the day. 

Instead the raven headed to his own house. He shared a large house with his old team Taka. Of course he had the biggest and best room, and they stayed in the smaller ones on the other side of the house. Although Sasuke was a solitary person, he felt the need to surround himself with the only people he trusted. This was especially true of the people he shared his home with; what if there was an assassination attempt on his life? He needed shinobi he could rely on. He didn't fully trust his ANBU squad yet.

He even wouldn't take Kakashi into his home at the moment. He would not be able to let his guard down around him until he had completely broken his lover. Once he was tame he would be too loyal and afraid to hurt Sasuke in the moments he could take advantage; like when he slept.

Sasuke wanted Kakashi, broken, loyal and obedient. He didn't just want to sleep with his former sensei; Kakashi would be his alone, mind, body and soul. He would learn his place. And he would be grateful that Sasuke was given him a chance to make up for his mistakes and failures in the previous shinobi world. He was lucky Sasuke wanted him, when the Hokage could have anyone else, like those pathetic girls Sakura or Karin.

Soon Kakashi would give up his feeble attempts of resistance and accept Sasuke's attentions. Not only that, he would be grateful that Sasuke had deemed him worthy of the supreme Hokage. As much as Sasuke had enjoyed taking his sensei, bathed in his own blood that let him slid into the tight heaven, he wanted Kakashi's respect and obedience.  


Sooner or later, Kakashi would break. And then the real fun could begin.

 

***

 

Kakashi woke to the smell of hearty food. Despite what had happened the previous day, Gai's arms had made him feel safe, and he had slept better than he had in a long time. He opened his eyes to find the green beast carrying a tray into his bedroom.

"Good morning, my rival!" he boomed. "I have brought a breakfast fit for a shinobi of your position. You need a filling and nutritious start to the day for the tasks that await you."

Kakashi felt a slight dread at his words and tried his best not to show it. If Gai knew that his exalted position was a farce he feared he would never live down the shame. Gai believed that he was doing important work, and admired him for it, and Kakashi didn't want to lose his respect. If Gai knew the truth, what would he think of Kakashi? 

Kakashi sat up and smiled at his rival. Gai placed a tray on his lap, beaming. He sat at the edge of the bed and waited for Kakashi to start eating. Kakashi sniffed and nodded. He mumbled his thanks and started eating. It was clear that Gai would not leave until he had seen Kakashi clear the food.

Breakfast was good. It consisted of rice porridge, black coffee, and some fruit. It was more than Kakashi usually ate in the morning.

When Kakashi had cleared his plate and Gai was satisfied, he rose to dress. 

"Rival," Gai asked. "As I have already had my jog around the village on this bright and youthful morning, I was wondering if I could use your shower?" 

Kakashi rolled his eyes. Nothing would stop him from his morning training, it seemed, even after all these years. "Yes, but don't be too long. I will need to get in the bathroom soon."

"Challenge accepted!"

Barely ten minutes later (he really had taken it as a challenge apparently) the flow of water stopped and Gai appeared in the living room wearing only a towel around his waist. Kakashi couldn't help but stare; in the years since he had been with Gai, the man had filled out and had a muscled figure that was nothing to scoff at. Where Kakashi had always tended to be in the lean and slender side, preferring stealth, manipulation and longer distance ninjutsu, Gai was slightly taller, strong and muscled, as well as being incredibly fast on his feet, suited to close range taijutsu. 

Kakashi couldn't help but admire Gai's physic that came from nothing but hard work on his part. Though Kakashi would never tell him this of course. He had his reputation for being cool and hip to uphold after all.

Gai shook his hair dry, rather like a dog, and managed to get some water on Kakashi in the process, who moaned with good nature.

"Gai, if I wanted a shower I would have taken one."

Gai laughed and then their eyes met. Kakashi blushed, grateful for his mask, while Gai moved closer to him. 

Kakashi's heart was thumping with apprehension and nervousness. He knew Gai was gentle and harmless, of course, but still, being in a room alone with a half dressed man was hard for him after what had happened, even if it was with his best friend. But this was _Gai_ who would never do anything to hurt him. Gai who was loving and kind... and looking at him like that... 

Then he heard a knock on the window.

_Sasuke!_

Kakashi yelled, "No!" and jumped away from Gai. He flung himself between the window and Gai, ready to fight Sasuke to protect him. He knew Sasuke would kill Gai. It was bad enough he was in his apartment, let alone wearing nothing but a towel, and him having stayed the night. Kakashi could point out that he stayed on his sofa, but that wouldn't make much of a difference to the wrathful Uchiha.

Kakashi had his hand on a kunai, ready.

Then Gai coughed.

"Err, Kakashi," he said, looking confused. "What's wrong?"

"I heard- the window." Kakashi muttered feebly, embarrassed for his moment of panic.

"It was just a bird. Look," Gai pointed and sure enough, a bird was perched on the window sill, gazing at the crumbs of Gai's left over breakfast that sat on the coffee table, abandoned. 

Kakashi stared at it for another moment, feeling his heart racing and trying to calm himself down. 

"Kakashi, whatever is the matter?" Gai was frowning now. Kakashi was not a man easy to scare. He was cautious, but seldom afraid. "You're shaking!"

"What? No, I'm fine Gai, really. I just- I think we need to get to work now."

Gai moved put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, but the silver haired man dodged and moved away, heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Gai allowed a huff to escape him. What was Kakashi hiding from him? And why was he being so jumpy?

 

***

 

When Kakashi entered Sasuke's office, head bowed slightly and eyes averted, he was met with a moan from the young Hokage. He bowed automatically, not wanting to give Sasuke an excuse to beat him again. Sasuke had previously stated that he wouldn't take Kakashi straight away, and would allow him time to recover from yesterday's rough treatment, but Kakashi was wary regardless. He didn't trust his former student.

"Kakashi," Sasuke said, without looking at him. He had his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. 

"Hokage-sama."

"Go make yourself useful and get me something for this headache. I barely slept last night."

Kakashi said nothing and merely nodded, stone faced. He loathed being ordered around by his former student. He was being treated like a maid. Still, he supposed it was better than Sasuke's other attentions. 

"And bring me a coffee," Sasuke called after him as he left the room. Karin greeted him on the other side with a smug glare. She always enjoyed it when Sasuke gave Kakashi menial jobs. Maybe it made her feel more important somehow. Kakashi wondered if she would ever realise that Sasuke cared nothing for her and that she was expendable to him. He doubted it. Her infatuation with the sullen teen was worse than Sakura and Ino's combined.

In the kitchen, Juugo and Suigetsu were arguing over who had to contact Orochimaru on Sasuke's behalf. It seemed no one that had worked under the sanin actually liked him- except probably Kabuto- and Suigetsu even shuddered when he lost out on the rock, paper, scissors. He soon cheered up when he heard Kakashi's approach though.

Kakashi ignored him, grabbed some pain killers, and prepared Sasuke's coffee while waiting for the water to boil.

He gave Kakashi a big grin and said, "Juugo and I are also thirsty."

"I'm not," Juugo cut in.

"I am," Suigetsu said, watching Kakashi for his reaction. 

The kettle boiled and switched itself off again. Kakashi schooled his face to look bored and indifferent as he made Sasuke's coffee. He was actually pretty pissed off at having these brats treat him how they did, but he would be damned if he would show it. Instead, he controlled his anger and shrugged.

"Well, the hot water is all ready for you," was all he said.

Before Suigetsu could reply he grabbed Sasuke's coffee and pain killers and left. He could feel Juugo's smirk at the young swordsman not getting his own way, and felt Suigetsu's eerie eyes on him.

When Kakashi was gone, Suigetsu turned to Juugo. "He is an asshole. But I like him."

Juugo laughed. "Indeed. I just hope Sasuke isn't too hard on him."

"Hah. Hard being the appropriate word, eh?"

Juugo shifted guiltily. He wasn't comfortable with everything Sasuke did, but who was he to judge his leader? If it weren't for Sasuke, who knew what would have happened to him? Therefore Juugo tended to put his head in the sand where some of Sasuke's actions were concerned.

So, instead of acknowledging Suigetsu's comment, he said, "haven't you got a sanin to go speak to."

"Alright, alright, I'm going!"


	17. Chapter 17

True to his word, Sasuke pretty much left Kakashi alone that day. Yes he was made to wait on the young man, yes he was basically his coffee bitch and performed tasks degrading for a shinobi of his caliber, but Kakashi much preferred this treatment to that which he had previously experience under Sasuke. 

The Hokage was in a bad mood that day. You'd think that a man who had had sex the day before would be a bit more jolly, but Kakashi knew that anyone who had to take what they want by force and rape another was not truly happy. The silver haired man knew that the young Hokage would have his demons to deal with, but after everything that had happened, Kakashi didn't want to take an interest. He just wanted to distance himself from everyone and everything. 

Yet deep down he feared the moments when his resolve collapsed and he sought the comfort of an innocent friend, like Sakura or Gai. The last thing he should be doing was dragging them down with him, into danger and misery. They deserved better than that.

As the evening approached, Kakashi waited patiently for Sasuke to release him- hopefully without any further incidents. When he did Kakashi bowed instantly, relief flooded through him, and he was grateful that Sasuke had pretty much left him alone that day.

Kakashi slipped through the window and jumped down onto the ground. He proceeded to head straight home without speaking to anyone. Just as he rounded the first corner he heard the familiar call.

"Rival!"

Gai sprinted up to him.

"Gai."

He had to be cold. He had to be aloof and distant. He had to be cruel.

Gai was breathing heavy. Then he beamed and gave Kakashi a thumbs up. "I thought I had missed you. I wanted to catch you before you got home. How about you come around my humble home for some youthful and nutritious-"

"No thanks, Gai."

"-and hearty stew for real men! It has some added-"

"No, Gai."

"-vitamins and minerals, with organic-"

"GAI!"

A bunch of random civilians had stopped to look at the two of them, at the sound of Kakashi's yelling. Not that Gai didn't attract the glances of strangers all by himself.

"Gai.. I'm sorry but I can't-"

"You can't or you won't?"

"Look, I just want to relax after work-"

"Then let me take you out? I won't take 'no' for an answer. And besides," Gai dropped his voice now and took a step closer to his rival. "I want to make sure you're OK. I won't let you get hurt again."

Kakashi sighed. "Gai, that was on a mission. You don't need to look after me, I'm a grown man."

"But I want to."

Kakashi scratched his head, thinking frantically. He was worried about being seen talking to Gai, and if he was paranoid that any one of the people around them could be eavesdropping, or spying on him. He didn't want sweet Gai to get caught up in this any more than he had so far. 

However Gai didn't look like he was going to drop this anytime soon. If he thought about it, Sasuke would be expecting Kakashi to be seen with his friends still surely? The Uchiha had no idea of the true history between him and Gai. If Kakashi kept it to a public place, then surely it wouldn't look like Kakashi was trying to hide anything. 

That might just keep them both safe, for now, until Gai got over this phase of protecting him. If Kakashi did not appear to be harmed then surely Gai would abandon the idea soon, right?

"OK, rival," Kakashi finally said. "How about we make it a challenge? All you can eat sushi at the Umi restaurant?"

Gai beamed, ecstatic to have Kakashi propose a challenge.

"You're on!"

 

***

 

For the next couple of weeks Kakashi got on with things as best he could. He kept away from Sasuke as much as it was possible and he was grateful that Sasuke left him alone the majority of the time. It was true that after their previous violent encounter the Uchiha had stated that he would allow Kakashi some time for his physical wounds to heal- after all, what good was a broken toy? 

To Kakashi's delight, the Hokage was preoccupied with something and there were a few days when he was away from the village. The downside to this was that Karin took charge of Kakashi's working days and she held an obvious resentment of having Kakashi around, stealing Sasuke's attention. 

Yet that did not stop her working Kakashi to the bone, which actually meant he was around her longer. One morning she made him clean all the toilets in the building. When Kakashi merely blasted them all with a water jutsu, and then assured the red head that's what he thought she had meant, she had even stormed out of the building in a huff. Suigetsu had been delighted with this development. 

"For Sasuke's bitch, you sure have some bite," he said. 

Kakashi pointedly ignored him. He hated the way those strange eyes followed him, and took joy in the misfortune of others, like everything was just a joke to him. Luckily for Kakashi, Suigetsu was summoned by Sasuke only a day after he had left the village. Kakashi prayed to Kami that it was to visit Orochimaru in Suna, knowing how much Suigetsu hated being around the sanin.

Sakura still had not returned from her trip. Despite himself and his determination to keep friends at bay, he missed her. 

He couldn't miss her too much though with his rival was there to keep him company when he was not busy with academy work and seeing his own students. Although Kakashi tried to find excuses (better than the ones he gave for being late) to keep Gai away, the man was persistent. Since the night Gai had slept on the sofa, Kakahsi had managed to keep him out of his apartment. He had to keep Gai away at all costs; he would never forgive himself if anything happened to his best friend of so many years.

It seemed Iruka was quick to temper and often exasperated with the green beast's not so youthful antics- especially when they gave him more hassle than expected.

When Kakashi spotted Gai bounding up to him from the academy doors one evening, he saw Iruka chasing after him.

"Kakashiiiiii! My eternal rival I owe you dinner for winning our boulder lifting challenge the other day!" 

In fact Kakashi had purpose lost when Gai declared that his punishment would be to treat Kakashi to dinner if Kakashi beat him. But somehow it turned out that Kakashi's reward for winning was also allowing Gai to treat him for dinner. Kakashi had given up protesting and thought that with Sasuke away, it could do no harm.

"Oh no you don't, Maito," he shrieked. "you clean up every last scrap of that mess- now."

Kakashi couldn't help but laugh.

"Maa, you're no fun sensei. Gai was about to take me out for food."

"Then you can help him!" The chunin snapped.

Kakashi whistled lowly. "Gai, have you been a naughty boy?"

Gai pouted. "I just thought-"

"Well, you thought _wrong_!"

"Seriously, what did he do?"

"He decided his last class would feel much more youthful with orange leg warmers like his. So he brought in some wool and knitting needles. Only he didn't have any orange wool, so he thought he would bring along some dye."

"My glorious students were particularly enthusiastic with the arrangement-"

"That was so they could get out of jogging around the academy!"

Gai gave Iruka an incredulous look, as if to say 'of course not! Are you mad?! Who wouldn't enjoy running laps around the academy?'

"Suffice to say carpets and walls look like a lepord gone wrong?" asked Kakashi, the amusement clear in his voice. The angry banter was starting to make him feel like his old self again.  
"Oh yes, that's right scarecrow, laugh it up. I suggest you help him clean, or you leave. Either way, you won't be having dinner any time soon."

"I think I will supervise," Kakashi drawled lazily. After all, what was the harm in letting himself enjoy their antics for one night? Sasuke was out of town still.

 

***

 

Iruka glared at Gai the whole time he cleaned the mess. Straggles and clumps of wool hung from everywhere including, to Kakashi's amusement, the ceiling. What the hell had Gai been doing in here? Buttons, scissors and knitting needles littered the floor and Iruka kept grumbling about the health and safety hazards. And finally, there was the orange dye. Personally, Kakashi thought the random splodges added character to the otherwise dull room.

Gai was on his hands and knees, scrubbing for all he was worth. Kakashi was sure he heard such phrases as, 'if I can't remove all of these stains by.... I will....' 

_That man really has issues_ , Iruka thought.

Kakahi meanwhile had brought some bento for them all (yes, even Iruka) and read Icha Icha while he watched the progress. 

"So you're actually just going to sit there?" Iruka demanded.

Kakashi slowly put his book down and looked up at the irate chunin with exaggerated movements. "Yes."

In fact, listening to the two bicker like an old mother and her hyperactive child, really was quite entertaining for Kakashi. Iruka's short fuse with Gai (Kakashi himself had developed some sort of barrier to the man over the years, that Gai called his hip and cool attitude) had Kakashi laughing more than he could remember in a long time. Who would have thought cleaning could be so much fun?

But all good things had to come to an end it seemed, including Kakashi's momentary peace and laughter. A messenger hawk soon arrived with a letter for Kakashi bearing the Hokage's Uchiha seal.

Kakashi's hands almost shook with dread. It read:

_Honey, I'm home. Ditch the chunin and the oaf. I'm bored._


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I have wrote so much for this fic! More than my completed one and this is still going!

Hatake Kakashi, who became chunin at six years old, jonin only some years later, and had lived through two shinobi wars, did something he had rarely ever done in his life: he froze. Not even his hands shook, he was in such shock. He gazed at the note in his pale, slender hands, all colour draining from his face and perspiration beading at the top of his head.

Gai was singing "whistle while you work" as he attempted to mop the ceiling, with only the enthusiasm the green beast could muster. Iruka, who had noticed Kakashi's puzzling reaction, nudged his colleague. Gai immediately looked to where Iruka pointed at his rival, whistling fading away just like Kakashi's freedom.

Kakashi still had not moved an inch since opening the letter. 

What the hell was he supposed to do? If he left that could mean nothing good for him; Sasuke may beat or take him again, as he had before. And he certainly never wanted to go through that again. He felt safe here, secure with his oldest friends, who warmed him like a comfort blanket. He actually wanted to hang out with his rival and Iruka, and these were feelings he felt he should explore. But, if he stayed he may put both Gai and Iruka in danger. What Sasuke came here for him? What if they found out what Sasuke had done to him, just how weak and shamed the copy nin truly was?

All these questions floating round the copy nins head, almost made him feel dizzy. He needed to make a decision... yet he did nothing. A couple of beads of panic induced sweat rolled down Kakashi's face. He thought he might be sick.

Shit.

What should he do?

Oh shit, oh shit.

He had to do something. But what?

"Erm, Kakashi," Iruka said. "Are you alright?"

"Rival, what on earth is the matter? Is it bad news?"

Gai moved towards Kakashi, but the silver haired man panicked and stuffed the note in his flak jacket, out of sight.

"No, nothing! I..."

Iruka and Gai shared a worried glance. Something was definitely wrong.

"You, what?" Iruka asked.

"I have been summoned by the Hokage. I- I have to go."

"Do you want us to come?"

"No!" Kakashi almost screamed it. He didn't want his innocent friends anywhere near his violent ex-student. "That is... it is classified. Unofficial business of the Hokage's. I must go, right away."

Gai frowned. "I hope nothing bad has happened. It is a good thing our young Hokage has such a dedicated and vigilant advisor to support him." Gai pushed his concerns aside and smiled at Kakashi, putting an arm around his secret love. He was so proud of him, for his role in the war, for his courage and for making himself work with his wayward ex-student after all he had done, for the good of the shinobi world. "He couldn't ask for a better right hand man."

Iruka almost groaned. Gai's look was one of love and adoration, as he beamed warmly at his rival. He made a mental note to see if he could find out more about Gai's feelings later. Kakashi however, looked sick, and didn't seem to notice Gai's happy gaze or take in his words of admiration. 

"Yeah, whatever you say Gai," Kakashi mumbled. The silver shinobi managed to stop a heavy sigh. He was a fraud. He was letting his friends believe he was actually doing something important in the new world. They all looked up to him, and Kakashi loathed himself. Yet, he couldn't admit the truth. He was pathetic.

Just as it struck Gai that Kakashi seemed to be shaking slightly, in a way so unlike Kakashi, the younger man slipped from his grasp and headed to the window. With one leg on the sill, he turned and looked back at his two friends. 

He had a strange look in his eyes and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. But then, the next moment, he jumped away without saying a word.  
It was after Kakashi had left that Gai realised that in his enthusiasm it had not clicked just how much the other man didn't want to leave. It was this thought that made Gai sad for his rival, yet embrace the beginnings of positivity. 

Never, in all their years of friendship, had Kakashi ever looked so miserable to leave his company. Maybe, just maybe, Gai thought, he had a chance to melt Kakashi's heart after all. Gai could hope.

 

***

 

Sasuke sat in his chair with his feet on the Hokage desk when Kakashi arrived. He smirked as Kakashi hesitantly bowed to him.

"Hokage-sama."

"You took your time."

"I was busy."

"Hanging around with those losers isn't worth your time."

"Those losers were once your teachers. They are good men."

"Good men don't win wars. Good men alone don't defeat evil. And good men certainly couldn't protect this village, this world. Good men are weak. 

"Ignorant fools like them are the reason for tragedies like my brother's. They blindly go about their lives and put their heads in the sand at the expense of people like Itachi. Because they are weak fools who cannot see anything." Sasuke brought his legs down and sat up in his chair. "Power is what is needed, what is worthy. Power will get you what you want and is what defines a man."

"Yet it is powerful men who caused the war that you and Naruto ended-"

Sasuke slammed his fists on the table. "Do not speak his name! I ended the war. I brought peace to our world. And it is I who will maintain it."

Sasuke was seething. The older man knew that he meant- no that he _believed _\- every single word he spoke. Kakashi raised a brow and said with as much sarcasm as he dared, "As you say, Hokage-sama."__

__That earned him a glare from the Uchiha. But it did seem to calm him down._ _

__"Hmph. Well as lovely as this is, I didn't bring you hear to chat, sensei."_ _

__"Sasuke..."_ _

__The raven haired Hokage stood up and leaned over his desk. He saw the fear in Kakashi's eyes and licked his lips._ _

__"Come here."_ _

__"Sasuke please... you've already taken me. You're stronger than me, better than me. I admit it. Just let me go."_ _

__"Oh no, sensei. I intend to have you over and over again. You are mine. Mine to use as I see fit. Mine to use, mine to tame and mine to take. This is your life now and you had better accept it, or things could get nasty. It doesn't have to be. I don't have to hurt you, but if you make me, I will. The choice is yours. Either way I will get what I want."_ _

__Kakashi glanced at the window, and then at the floor. He didn't move._ _

__"Remember last time, Kakashi. I beat you then and I will beat you now. I will beat you so hard you won't walk for a week. Do us both a favour, and obey. Or you might just find your friends will suffer for your stubbornness."_ _

__No... if anything could snap Kakashi out of it, it was those words. He could not let his friends get hurt. Sasuke would have no qualms about beating him, he was sure, but his threat to Kakashi's friends could be a bluff; never the less, it was a gamble Kakashi would not take._ _

__Kakashi would most likely survive whatever Sasuke had in store for him. What if his friends did not? He would not be the cause of anything happening to them. It was a price the copy ninja would have to pay to protect them._ _

__And what about Gai? He already suspected something. Kakashi knew better than anyone that his best friend was anything but stupid. He had seen his battered body before now. Kakashi couldn't let Sasuke beat him again. How the hell would he explain it if it showed?_ _

__Gai had sworn to kill whoever had hurt Kakashi... if he discovered Kakashi's secret shame and went after Sasuke, it would be Gai who was killed. He didn't even have the power of the gates anymore, so there was little harm he could do to Sasuke._ _

__And nothing could happen to Gai- nothing. Kakashi couldn't lose him. He didn't want to see any more of his friends die._ _

__Gai had been there for Kakashi his whole life. He had dried his tears, cleaned his wounds, taken care of him when he could not take care of himself. He had helped him through every low point in his life and Kakashi would protect him now. He owed Gai that much._ _

__Shakily Kakashi took one step forward. Sasuke smirked._ _

__Kakashi slowly closed the gap to the Hokage's desk. The Uchiha walked around and then- to Kakashi's shock- slapped him so hard it stung and he stumbled back._ _

__"Too slow, Kakashi." The raven purred. "When I ask you to do something, you do so without hesitation."_ _

__Kakashi held his cheek and looked at the floor. His eyes were wet from the sting. His cheeks burned from the the slap and the shame. He hated himself._ _

__"Now then," Sasuke pulled the mask down to reveal that beautiful visage and cupped Kakashi's chin in his hand before stroking a red cheek with his thumb. "Are you going to fight or be a good boy? It will hurt a lot less if you obey."_ _

__Without meeting Sasuke's eyes, Kakashi replied, "I will do as you say."_ _

__"A wise decision." Sasuke leaned forward to smell Kakashi's hair. He licked the shell of the jonin's ear and then leaned back to peer at Kakashi's face. "Mmm I can see the fear in your eyes. It makes me want you even more."_ _

__Kakashi knew what he had to do. For his friends. For Gai. His whisper could barely be heard. "Then take me."_ _

__Sasuke's eyes gleamed with lust and his achievement. He had done it; he had finally broken his sensei._ _

__"Well, well. It seems you can be tamed, after all. Who do you belong to, Kakashi? Look at me and tell me."_ _

__Kakashi met the merciless, gleeful eyes of his ex-student._ _

__"I'm yours."_ _


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- strong lemon and dub con coming up ahead!

Kakashi had never seen such a huge grin on his student. Unfortunately it was something that did not promise anything good for him.

"Yes," Sasuke breathed close to his face. "Yes, that's right. You are mine. _Mine_."

Kakashi tried to avert his eyes from that demanding smile. Sasuke's grip on his chin grew harder. It was uncomfortable and yet they hadn't even reached the worst part of the evening.

"Say it again, Kakashi. I want to hear who your life belongs to."

Kakashi made himself look at the younger man. Sasuke was about an inch taller than him now, with broader shoulders than Kakashi, but he was still rather slender like him. Naruto would have been the bulkier of them, had he lived.

If things had turned out differently he may have been looking proudly at Sasuke and not with this dread. Sasuke could have been a hero of the leaf, just like Naruto. Instead the sight of the smirking teen was making his stomach turn.

"I'm yours."

"Then prove it."

Kakashi didn't move. He didn't know what to do. Did Sasuke want to him to kiss him, or undress? Or something else entirely? Kakashi had little experience of such intimacy, having only been with Gai before Sasuke. And he hadn't ever wanted to be with his student in that way, he had been forced. His own reservations and self loathing had also prevented him from rekindling something with Gai again. He had never quite worked out his feelings for the green beast. He never allowed himself to.

Not wanting to be intimate, or close with Sasuke, Kakashi decided that undressing himself would be best. Not only did he hope it would appease Sasuke's lust for power and dominance, but that it would enable them to get this out the way as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately for him, Sasuke planned to take his time.

Sasuke had waited years, _years_ , for his sensei to become his. Now that he had broken him he would enjoy every single second of it. And they would do this over and over, again and again. Kakashi would never be with anyone but him. His life and body belonged to his Hokage now. Sasuke would reap his reward for his long wait.

When Kakashi started to unbutton his flak jacket, an intense excitement shot through the younger man. This was it. It was really happening. He had won.

Kakashi undressed as quickly and unceremoniously as he could with faltering, shaking hands. Sasuke watched and waited, licking his lips, his eyes never leaving Kakashi.

Soon Kakashi stood naked before him. He couldn't meet Sasuke's eyes, even though Sasuke had seen him like this before (though never willingly of course). The Uchiha took a step back to admire what stood before him. He then circled Kakashi, his smirk growing, at the vulnerability of the older ninja. Kakashi was at his mercy now. He would enjoy this.  
The Hokage stopped before his subject and ran a hand over his smooth, pale chest. It was hairless like his own, but Kakashi's skin gleamed like fine ivory. He roughly tweaked a nipple and was delighted by the pained whimper that came from the mouth of his toy. Immediately, he tweaked the other but this time Kakashi was expecting it and bit his lip to keep in those sexy sounds. _We'll see about that,_ Sasuke thought.

"On your knees."

Kakashi looked at him alarmed. Sasuke was impatient and raised a hand as if to strike. Kakashi got the message and dropped to the floor. Then the raven unzipped his fly and pulled out his hard length, topped with ink black pubic hair. 

Kakashi gulped with fear. Not fear for being harmed, but for having to do something with his student he had never wanted to. He felt like a prostitute. Sasuke was humiliating him and loving every moment of it. 

"Open wide."

After a deep, shaky breath, Kakashi did as he was told and then took the large cock into his mouth. He had never done anything like this before, and he awkwardly started to bob his head. It was clumsy but Sasuke didn't seem to mind; the Uchiha was looking rather pleased with himself. He moaned as Kakashi got to work and soon he found himself thrusting into his teacher's mouth. 

"Yes, faster," he ordered. 

Kakashi went as fast as he could, but still he felt a hand grab his hair roughly and felt Sasuke's thrusts becoming harder. His cock hit the back of his throat and Kakashi made a choked noise. It bruised the back of his mouth. 

Sasuke became more excited at this noise, at the power he had over Kakashi now, and he pushed in and out of Kakashi's mouth so violently that the the silver haired man's lips were cut on his tooth. A trickle of blood ran down the side of Kakashi's mouth. When Sasuke saw this, it was too much, and he felt himself reach his peak. Quickly he pulled Kakashi off him by his hair and came all over his face in warm, wet spurts.

The jonin closed his eyes when he realised what was happening. He felt like being sick.

When Sasuke had finished he let go of Kakashi's hair but didn't order him to stand. Instead he savored the erotic image before him, Kakashi all dirty with his seed. If this didn't state ownership, what did?

Kakashi went to wipe it off but Sasuke grabbed his arm.

"Don't. You look so sexy like this. Mmm. You should see yourself, Kakashi. You look so fucking good, just like a whore. _My whore._ Only I will ever do this to you. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. 'Cause I'd hate to have to go and kill the man - or woman - who touch what's mine."

"Yes."

"Oh you look so fucking dirty. I'm growing hard again so soon. You see what you do to me? What you have always done to me. I've wanted you to be mine for so long. And now, here we are, with my seed covering your face. So fucking beautiful. I can't hold myself back, I need more of you."

Sasuke suddenly knelt down and forcefully kissed Kakashi. He pushed his tongue to Kakashi's lips, demanding entrance from the silver haired sensei. Kakashi obliged him. Soon his mouth was full of Sasuke's dominating tongue, exploring every inch of him, tasting his blood again. Kakashi scrunched his eyes shut, praying for it to end soon.

When the kiss finally broke he watched Kakashi again with dark lustful eyes, his breathing heavy.

"Kakashi," he said, his voice deeper than usual. "I want you to use this," he took some of his white sticky cum in his fingers and rubbed it between his thumb and index finger, "and prepare yourself for me."

Kakashi looked at him in horror. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm going to take you. Prepare yourself with my cum."

Kakashi took a breath before scooping the sticky substance from his face. He then sat then went to reach around himself.

"Oh no- I want to see everything," Sasuke ordered.

Instead Kakashi sat on his bottom on the cold floor and spread his legs before his Hokage's hungry eyes. Eyes that possessed so much power and had won them the war. And this was the cost.

Kakashi was anxious. He didn't really know what to do. Sasuke had never bothered to prepare him, and Kakashi own blood had lubricated the act previously. The only time before that was with Gai, who had lovingly devoted ages to making him feel comfortable and at ease so it wouldn't hurt too much. That was so long ago Kakashi could barely remember Gai preparing him. He knew he moved his fingers inside, but the whole time the man had been kissing him and whispering loving words into his ear to distract him from the new and strange feeling of something being inside him.

Although Kakashi supposed that in a messed up way, he should be grateful that at least he was being given a chance to prepare his poor hole this time. The Uchiha had never been gentle with him, unlike Gai, and had no patience.

With his fingers slick with Sasuke's cum, he pushed his right index finger through the ring of muscle. He took the opportunity to lie back so he didn't have to see his ex-student's face. When he had moved the first one in and out a few times he added a second and repeated the movements, until he could add a third soon. He thought he recalled Gai doing it this way.

Sasuke meanwhile stroked himself as he watched. He had never seen anything so erotic, and he had lain with many whores from various brothels on his travels. Kakashi's legs being opened to his gaze was so sexy, so compelling he couldn't tear his eyes away. The older man's inexperience only made him more alluring.

In the time after he had left the leaf for Orochimaru he had realised that he missed his sensei. But not in the way he had expected. He missed seeing him, watching him. He missed the few times they had touched while training or on missions, the way his sensei moved gracefully, the way his silver hair looked luminous in the moonlight. His musky scent.

He soon found he regretted not discovering what lie beneath his mask. Then he started fantasizing about it gradually more and more as the months passed and his body matured. Soon he wondered not only what was behind his sensei's mask, but underneath his clothes too. Eventually Sasuke realised that he was thinking of Kakashi every day, longing for him, pleasuring himself to his image, wish that it was Kakashi touching him. 

He had tried to relieve the tension by sleeping with others when he had the chance. Orochimaru had found it particularly delightful when he saw Sasuke sneak into a brothel one night. The snake had mocked him and laughed with Kabuto that his Sasuke-kun was growing up.

When three of Kakashi's fingers had disappeared into his body, and Sasuke could stand it no longer, he ordered him to stop. 

"Come here, my pet."

Apprehensive but resigned, Kakashi rose to his feet and walked to Sasuke. The Uchiha bit a nipple hard, so much it bleed, and then pulled Kakashi towards him. He licked and kissed all over the man's face and jaw, before moving towards his neck. There he bit down hard, drawing blood again and marking his pet.

"You taste good," he whispered. He bit a shoulder this time before pulling back. "Desk. Now."

Kakashi moved with him to his Hokage desk. Sasuke pushed the papers out of the way. An ink pot fell to the floor but neither spared it a glance. Sasuke bent his jonin over the desk and guided his penis to the tense hole. 

"If you ever let anyone else fuck you, I will Kill them," Sasuke said close to his ear. Kakashi couldn't repress a chilled shudder. He wished Sasuke would stop saying things like that. The jonin prayed Sasuke would never find out the truth of his first time.

Then with a swift movement he pushed himself in fully and moaned his appreciation. Taking Kakashi over a table had always been a fantasy of his; the fact it was the Hokage desk made it all the more appealing.

Kakashi winced in pain. He hadn't prepared himself as thoroughly as he thought. The Uchiha however left him no time to get used to his considerably large size. He picked up a strong pace and took his pleasure. 

It hurt. But not as much as before. To his own self disgust, Kakashi found that when Sasuke brushed his prostate, his own member started to stir. He knew that it was just his body naturally reacting to what was happening, but he couldn't help but loath himself. Sasuke was picking up speed and he hoped he would not notice. However the Uchiha moved to his shoulder to lick the shell of his ear and saw it. He smirked and reached a hand around to grab the half-hard penis.

"You enjoy being my whore, don't you?"

Kakashi said nothing and bit down on his lip. He didn't want to enjoy this. Sasuke must be mad to think he could. He hated Sasuke. Yet the Uchiha started pumping his erection until he came against his will. 

"I love the sound you make when you come."

Sasuke then grabbed Kakashi's lithe hips and started thrusting violently. Now it really hurt. Thank Kami he had had some preparation for this. 

Soon Sasuke spent himself again inside Kakashi and stood back to watching his seed dribble out, with Kakashi still bent over the desk. The view was so good the raven thought he might grow hard again.

"You see, don't things go so much more smoothly when you behave?"

Kakashi hated himself. He felt used. He felt disgusting. He felt like a whore.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience in waiting for this chapter. I was struggling a bit with this but have finally managed to get it all down. And it is longer than usual too :)

The following day at the academy, the bell rang sounding lunchtime. Gai had been hoping some of his more youthful students might decide to continue exercising with him throughout their break, but alas, they weren't as dedicated as his precious Rock Lee it seemed.

It was a mild day, pretty average. Not hot, not cold. Nothing to complain about. Gai headed to a bench by the academy and pulled out his bento and smoothie from his bag. The bento contained only healthy snacks, as befitting a teacher of his standing- he was a role model after all and had to set a good example. 

For a few minutes, Gai sat content and munched on his lunch, watching the civilians go about their day to day business, undisturbed in the time of peace. Then a shadow fell across him and he looked up to see his colleague, Iruka-sensei.

"Greetings my fellow instructor," Gai beamed, sliding up the bench to make some more room. "How are you this fine day?"

"Good, thank you. And yourself, Maito-san?"

"Most excellent!" Gai gave a thumbs to prove his point.

"Hah, I should have known," smiled Iruka.

They ate their food, Iruka, as he slurped on his noodles, had hoped it would be in companionable silence but he should have known that was impossible with Maito Gai. In between bites of his lunch, Gai told Iruka about his class's progress in minute detail- the green beast was just so proud dammit!

"And I just know my rival will be so proud when he learns of the honorable strength of the people of this village, even after the events they have endured during the wars-"  
The reference to Kakashi had stirred some curiosity in Iruka, and his memory of the previous evening.

"You sure seem to care about your rival's opinion, Maito-san," Iruka said casually, trying to pass it off as an innocent remark.

"Well, of course! He is my most honorable rival, how could I not!"

"I see... and that's all he is- just a rival?" OK there was no way this could be a casual observation, but things were pretty dull around here these days now that he was stuck with the students until they were sixteen before they could take the genin exam, so Iruka pushed on. Besides he was so sick to death of watching displays of teenage hormones in his classes that teasing Gai would be refreshing.

"'Kashi is much more than a rival- he is my _eternal_ rival-"

Iruka slapped his own forehead with exasperation. "No, that's not what I meant."

"What's wrong, Iruka-sensei? Do you have a headache?"

"No, but I will soon!" Iruka snapped. 

Gai raised his bushy brows in surprise and Iruka sighed.

"I meant," Iruka said slowly, realising if this conversation was going anywhere he may just have to be blunt. "You seem to care about Hatake a lot- much more than an eternal rival." 

"Oh," Gai leaned back on the bench, unsure how to respond for once. "I see."

After a few moments of silence passed between them- _silence_ with the _green beast_ of all people- Iruka demanded, "Well?"

"Well, you see, it is a subject I have spoken to no one about, not even my beloved student and friend, Rock Lee. It is a fact I keep... very close to my heart."

That simple confession made the chunin sensei's own chest swell with sympathy. To think Gai had been hiding such a burden of feelings, when one would normally assume Gai could never contain his 'youthful and manly emotions'. "How long?"

"From the moment I met him; almost my whole life. Of course, back then I never understood such youthful and pure feelings for what they were."

"So...have you told him?"

Gai shook his head sadly in the noon sun, in a way so solemn and unlike him.

"And, why not?"

"Because he doesn't want to know."

Iruka watched Gai thoughtfully. "Doesn't or didn't?"

Gai gave the chunin his full attention- he was good.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if Kakashi has ever brushed you off in the past, it may be for reasons that don't anymore, such as, oh I dunno, maybe shinobi wars, self-loathing over his comrade's deaths, fear of losing a loved one. Maybe now he has had time to grow up and lives in a time of peace, things have changed- maybe _he_ has changed. You won't know until you tell him how you feel."

"But what if I do and he doesn't feel the same. I don't want to lose him from my life, even if I can only watch over him as a friend."

"You will never lose Kakashi as a friend or rival, Kakashi would never let that happen. His friends and comrades are too important to him."

Gai thought about this. "Maybe you are right, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka smiled. It looked like the Green Beast might go for it. He hoped so, the man deserved some happiness after everything, and so did the copy ninja- even if Iruka thought the pale jonin was an ass at times.

 

***

 

Kakashi's day hadn't gone as well as Gai's. After his previous night with Sasuke he had skulked home alone. The moment he had arrived he had vomited in his bathroom. He hadn't been able to face looking at his own reflection in the mirror and barely slept. He was nothing more than a whore now, no longer the great copy nin.

When he arrived for 'work' the next morning, Sasuke had this unbearable smirk on his face and the second he saw Kakashi he stuck his tongue down the older man's throat. He was in such a good mood he gave his three team mates the day off. Of course none of the them had anything else to do and just hang around the Hokage tower. Juugo had gone for a walk at some point in the morning and brought back everyone lunch from Ikiraku ramen- even Kakashi.

He thanked Juugo as he took his bowl. The red head was the only one of Sasuke's comrades he didn't mind being around. The man was quiet, polite and efficient in whatever he did. He was the only one who treated Kakashi like a human being, and not some slave or annoying pet. Kakashi was surprised he had bothered to bring him food as well. Karin tried to remind Kakashi he wasn't a part of their group whenever she could.

As the others sat round the table of the staff room, Kakashi sat at some distance on a coach and simply watched his ramen, swirling it in the bowl. _Ichiraku ramen_. Naruto's favorite... He wondered if Juugo knew- how could he, he hadn't met the hyperactive blond properly, and Sasuke never really spoke of his old life here, before Orochimaru. Sometimes he acted as if the period between the Uchiha massacre and him leaving the village hadn't happened.

Memories of Naruto, stuffing his face full of ramen, flooded Kakashi's mind and his eyes filled with tears. As if sensing this from the short distance away, Sasuke said, "Crying about it won't bring him back. Just eat your food, Kakashi. Your moping won't change anything."

Kakashi put his bowl down and turned to the others. "Moping? _Moping?_ You _murdered_ him. And now you expect me to sit there and eat _this_ in _your_ presence, as if nothing even happened? You must be fucking kidding me?"

Sasuke was still, glaring at Kakashi. Everyone was silent, tense, except Suigetsu, who was snickering. "Wait, wait, did I miss something here? What has ramen got to do with anything?"

"Shut up, idiot!" Karen hissed, and whacked him round the head.

Sasuke however stood and walked towards Kakashi. Karin watched, intrigued and smug that Kakashi would be punished, even if she was a little apprehensive on the copy nin's behalf. Maybe Sasuke would finally get rid of him, and she could have him all to herself. Mmm that would be nice...

Suigetsu was gleeful and watched with big mirthless eyes. Juugo averted his eyes, as if this were not going to happen. It wasn't his place to question Sasuke but he didn't want to witness what was about to happen.

Kakashi scowled with narrowed eyes. He was so angry his fear of Sasuke was momentarily forgotten. 

"You disrespect me, Kakashi... in front of my team." Sasuke removed his purple belt that he wore still under his Hokage uniform and held it up in his right hand. Karin winced, knowing what was coming. "I wonder, did you cry for me when I left the village, as you cry for _him_?"

"You weren't dead... you abandoned us of your own accord."

"Because you were _weak_. All of you. Especially you. And you are still weak. You lost to Itachi, you crumpled before him as if you were a harmless child. He nearly took you back to the akatsuki. He would have claimed you like I have now, if that blithering idiot hadn't arrived as back up. Yes, I know all of that."

Gai. Yes, Gai's arrival had saved him then. If only it could now. But Sasuke was too strong, too powerful, much more so than Itachi had been, with the rinnegan in his possession. 

"It was weak men like you who allowed by brother to be become what he did. And if you, one of Konoha's best sensei's, were too weak to defeat him or stop Orochimaru, how could I continue training under you? How would I have ever grown strong enough to become a true avenger? And now look at me, more powerful than you, more powerful than Itachi-"

"Yet you defeated Naruto while he was distracted," Kakashi cut in. "Meaning it wasn't a fair fight, and you took advantage of his love for-"

Instead of the crack of a whip as Kakashi had expected, Kakashi's face had been shoved into the bowl of ramen. Sasuke held it there, trying to force Kakashi's words down, while Kakashi struggled for air in the lukewarm broth.

"Shut. Up." Sasuke spoke slowly, livid. "I defeated that idiot. I am the strongest in the world, and that's all there is to it. I don't want to ever hear you mention that- that freak's name again. You hear me?"

He let Kakashi go, who chocked and gulped down fresh air, his face dripping. When he regained his breath he finally replied. "That freak as you call him, used to be your best friend."

"How dare you continue to answer me back." Sasuke raised his belt and the crack Juugo feared finally sounded. Kakashi had managed to hold in his moan of pain, not wanting Sasuke's team to hear him at Sasuke's mercy. He was already pathetic enough as it was. "You will obey me." Sasuke continued. He raised his belt again.

"Don't."

Crack.

"Ever."

Crack.

"Mention."

Crack.

"His."

Crack.

"Name."

Crack.

All fell silent, except from Kakashi's harsh breathing. It hurt. It hurt a lot. Yet other than his struggled breaths he hadn't uttered a sound. Sasuke put his belt back on.

"You will start behaving like a good bitch. Just like you did last night."

Suigetsu laughed. Karin gasped. Kakashi went bright red, mortified. He glared at Sasuke, hating him even more, if that were possible.

"Hear that, Karin," Suigetsu asked with glee. "Looks like Sasuke won't be sniffing around you again. Looks like he found a model more to his liking. Maybe desperate wasn't his thing, eh? I hear that's unattractive in a lady."

For once, she didn't even try to hit him, she was in so much shock. Regardless of seeing just how appallingly Sasuke could treat his lover, her eyes leaked tears and she ran from the room, before they could hear her sobs of anguish. Despite everything she still loved her dark haired raven.

"Girls can be so touchy," Suigetsu laughed. Jugo gave him a warning look. Karin could be annoying, but she didn't deserve Suigetsu's mocking when her heart had just been broken. The only good that could come out of this would be for her to finally try and move on.

"She'll come around," Juugo said to Sasuke, calmly, as if the specticle hadn't taken place. "She would have figured it out sooner or later anyway."

"I don't care," Sasuke said emotionless. 

Sasuke pulled Kakashi towards him and kissed him. Kakashi tried to resist, he hated the idea of the other two young men seeing him like this, but that iron grip was in his hair. When he felt the Hoakage pull away he was relieved until Sasuke started speaking.

"He is gone, Kakashi. Just like Tsunade, just like your old team mates and friends, just like your old lover, Uchiha Obito. Carry on pining over the past, and I will send Sakura away permanently too. I can send all of your remaining friends away if need be, until there is only me. You need to accept your place or else."

It probably would have been best for his friends to be sent away, safer for them at least, Kakashi mused. But deep down, the thought alarmed him. He couldn't cope without the thought of Sakura's approaching return, without Gai, even if it was selfish of him. He needed to protect his remaining friends but he didn't want to be apart from them.

So with great self-determination in front of the other two, Kakashi replied, "Yes, Hokage-sama."

Sasuke smiled. "Good. We can get to work on it right now, and you can remedy your disobedience. Jugo, Suigetsu, get out." Sasuke started taking his belt off again, this time for more disturbing reasons than a simple beating.

 

***

 

Later that night, after Kakashi had been sent home, beaten, sore and tired, someone else headed for the Hokage's office. Sasuke was still working late into the night, not having gotten much done that afternoon with his sexy sensei to distract him. 

The cloaked figure knocked and waited to be granted entry.

"Ah, it's you."

"Hokage-sama." There was no emotion behind that voice. All previous feelings of love were long gone. They had been ripped away just as Naruto had been ripped from the world.

"Back so soon? I thought you would have been at least another week."

"You underestimate me."

"Hah, I doubt that very much. But an amusing thought all the same."

Sakura said nothing and instead carelessly placed the report on the Hokage desk. Sasuke picked it up, flipping the pages with this thumb.

"May I be excused, Hokage-sama? I have to be at the hospital first thing tomorrow."

"What, and miss all the fun of the night shift? No, you can go there now."

"As you say." Sakura was exhausted, she was hungry and dirty from walking for so long. But she didn't want Sasuke to have the satisfaction of seeing her argue, or plead. So she would do what he said and keep out of trouble. No point starting a fight she couldn't win, yet. 

She needed to keep her head down and out of Sasuke's way, so she could remain in the village and be there for Kakashi. Because whatever he had told her before, she knew that something was wrong. She just hoped that things had improved in her absence. The man carried so much emotional trauma, yet he refused counselling, or any help whatsoever. If she could she would change that.

But for now, another shift awaited. She would have to catch up with her sensei later, but at least she was home.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Chapter 21... this fic has come so far, yet there is still more to go. Thanks to everyone who is continuing to read this, would love to hear your thoughts. 
> 
> Warnings: manga spoliers, lemon... Sasuke being a prick... yeah

Sakura did as she was told. She worked. She worked hard. Even though she was absolutely exhausted from her journey, she worked the night shift to her best ability. There were still many shinobi and civilians recovering from the latest war. Many had been released already, but some were not so fortunate. Many of the shinobi were resilient and unwilling patients. They felt humiliated, being stuck in a hospital ward all day. Some were missing limbs. Sakura had seen many mutilated bodies now, so htat she was used to it. The smell no longer watered her eyes.

There was much to be done too. Sakura caught up on paperwork, patrolled corridors, cleaned up the frequent messes of bodily fluids. She fed those who couldn't feed themselves, soothed small children to sleep, found suitable lodgings for war orphans. 

By the time she could see the sun rising outside, she was about ready to collapse. She had made it. She had pushed through and soon would be able to go home and shower away the grime of her journey and take some much needed rest. Her eye lids felt heavy.

She passed another hour filing away documents and tidying her desk. Just as she reached for her things to leave a messenger hawk arrived and swooped in through the open window and onto her neat desk, scattering the papers she had just organised. She shot the bird a scowl as she unrolled the scroll attached to its leg, sealed with the Hoakge-Uchiha seal.

_When I told you to do the nightshift, I didn't mean instead of your planned day shift. Of course you knew that, right?_

Sakura crumpled up the paper into her fist and threw it at the hawk. Usually she would fly into a rage of loud words whenever someone pissed her off, particularly Naruto. But now she was passed that, way too angry for any words. Even the hawk sensed her ire and promptly left the office, flying away without a reply for its master.

 

***

 

Later that day a silver haired shinobi found himself as the coffee bitch again. Thankfully, Karin had taken the day off 'sick' and he had one less person to worry about. After her reaction yesterday, he really didn't feel like putting up with her. If only Kakashi could swap places with her... he didn't even want Sasuke's affections! 

Kakashi carried in Sasuke's drink and placed it down in front of the man, hoping to sneak out before the Hokage could say or do anything else. As Karin was away, Kakashi had to take over her work for the day. Something that pleased him greatly as it meant he spent less time in Sasuke's presence. What was frustrating though was that Sasuke limited exactly what tasks of Karin's he did, as he did not want Kakashi learning to much of his business. Annoyingly, the Hokage was always careful with that.

Just as Kakashi was retreating out the room he was finally acknowledged. 

"I didn't say you could go."

Kakashi froze and gave Sasuke a look that clearly said, 'what now?'.

"Not going to answer me? Do you need another lesson in obedience?" Sasuke smirked, leaning over the desk where he sat. "I would have thought yesterday's scars would have served their purpose."

"They did, Hoakge-sama."

Sasuke's eyes shined. "Let me see them."

Quickly, just wanting to get his latest humiliation over with, Kakashi pulled his shirt over his head and turned so Sasuke could see his work from yesterday; long, deep red welts covered the pale back and sides. They looked tender, still sore and this only excited the raven more. 

Kakashi moved to put his shirt back on but was stopped.

"No. Come here."

The silver haired shinobi obeyed. This was his life now, someone who just obeyed the whims of someone too young and immature to rule. The power really had gone to Sasuke's head, something hard to imagine from the boy who had always been so quiet and seemingly emotionless. Of course, reserved and controlled was the impression Sasuke had wanted to give as a child, but Kakashi had always known better, known that there were deep unresolved feelings that the boy harbored. This was why he had trained Sasuke over Naruto during the chunin exams, why he had tried to stop him leaving with Orochimaru, tried to stop the curse mark. And all for nothing.

It was kind of ironic really. Kakashi as a young shinobo had always believed that his way and Sasuke's way of hiding your feelings and emotions was the correct way for a shinobi to behave, and Naruto and Obito's open display of their feelings was wrong and weak. But now, he could see just how dangerous his way was. Sasuke may have behaved like an elite shinobi, but his bottled feelings had proved to be a hidden dagger. How wrong had Kakashi been about him, about everything...

So Kakashi made his way to he Hokage now and just did as he was told. Sasuke didn't move from his seat at the Hokage desk. Instead he slid the chair back a bit and then motioned for Kakashi to sit on his lap.

 _You have got to be kidding me_ , thought Kakashi. He had to resist the urge to scoff at the Hokage. The young man forcefully raping him or fucking him over a desk was one thing, but expecting him to sit in his lap in an act of complete submission and be felt up was another thing entirely.

However Kakashi had learned just how futile his resistance would be. All he would do was prolong the experience and make it worse for either himself or his friends. Sasuke's previous threats swam through his mind; no matter how belittling the experience, he would obey. 

So hesitantly, he sat. Immediately, he was assaulted by the young man's hard on. He could feel it poking against him, making itself known. Kakashi was flaccid and he prayed to kami-sama that it would stay that way. He didn't want to cum again, it made it feel like Sasuke had won somehow. Not that he wasn't getting what he wanted anyway but...

When deft fingers pinched one nipple and then another, Kakashi was jolted from his thoughts. Sasuke laughed and then carried on playing with them, while biting his neck and shoulder. Kakashi closed eyes, just hoping it would end soon. Why here, of all places? Why in the desk chair his sensei had sat on. The seat Naruto had dreamed of occupying. It just felt like Kakashi was betraying them all over again. He was weak and pathetic and tarnishing their legacy by allowing this to happen on this chair and this desk of all places. He felt disgusting and once again felt the urge to be sick. He managed to hold down the feeling. He just needed this to end soon. For that to happen he had to cooperate.

Sasuke was enjoying having Kakashi obey him once again. He needed to knock the stubbornness out of the jonin. He also knew that the more he took him, the less likely he was to resist. He loved being in control of this man, his ex-sensei... the feeling of surpassing him in strength, seeing him bow to him, of taking him... there were no words to describe just how good this made Sasuke feel. And he had brought peace to the world, he deserved this. Why shouldn't he have some fun, some reward? Kakashi was beautiful, strong and through Obito's sharingan understood the Uchihas much better than anyone else. He was perfect for the Uchiha ruler, the perfect mate.

It was just a shame that another had taken his prize first. Another Uchiha too... and one deluded in his way to save the world. Obito was a weak fool, who had allowed himself to be played as he had played Nagato. Kakashi needed someone better than that, a true Uchiha, not a fool like Obito. 

Soon Sasuke had pulled the jonin's trousers and underwear off,and inserted his fingers into the man above him, watching him squirm. He could see Kakashi was trying not to react, to resist him still.

 _We'll see about that_ , he thought.

Expertly, Sasuke nudged that spot deep inside that he knew would gain a reaction, no matter how unwillingly it was given. It was the body's nature to react to what was happening after all, even if the mind was stubborn and foolish. All that would change soon enough, now his pet was tamed. He would grow accustomed to his master soon enough.

Kakashi felt it. He gasped. He tried to move away from the burst of pleasure those questing finger tips gave, but a strong arm wrapped around his waist, holding him in place. The assault on his prostate continued, until Kakashi couldn't stop the quiet sounds coming from him or the sheen of sweat, or prevent his erection from rising against his stomach, all indicating his arousal. 

That is when Sasuke took him. When Kakashi's body was excited and ready. Kakashi leaned against Sasuke, who was in complete control, as he thrust into his sensei, taking his own pleasure. Soon enough he was pumping Kakashi with his fist until the man came, his body tightening around the Uchiha and pulling an orgasm from him too.

When they had gained their breath back Kakashi spoke. "Will that be all, Hoakge-sama?"

He spoke coldly, trying to distance himself from Sasuke, from what they had just done.

"Heh, for now, my pet."

Kakashi didn't even flinch a the address. He knew if he scowled, or rolled his eyes, or showed any form of disgust, Sasuke would have an excuse to take him all over again. He was beginning to learn just the sort of master Sasuke would prove to be. So instead he kept his face schooled into emptiness, a blank expression.

Kakashi bowed and started to dress. He was at the door when Sasuke spoke.

"Oh and one more thing: you will be pleased to know that our old team mate has returned. You may see her after you finish here. I made sure to keep her busy until I am finished with you today. But I warn you, if you start to act up again, as you did when I first claimed you, I will send her away again. Do you understand?"

Sakura... Sakura was back! Kakashi felt a wave of relief sweep over him at her safe return. He could barely hide it from Sasuke. 

"Understood, Hokage-sama."

 

***

 

The first thing Kakashi did that evening was shower at his home. He couldn't face meeting his student with any trace of Sasuke or his seed on his body. He scrubbed and he scrubbed hard, washing away any trace of the Hokage, the water so hot it burnt his skin and irritated his injuries from Sasuke's belt.

Not long after, he was clean and dressed and knocking on the pink-haired girl's door.

It took a while for it to open. When it did, he was met with a girl who seemed much older than her years. Her hair was frizzy, tangled, and her skin almost gaunt, with bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted.

Yet regardless of that, her face brightened at the sight of who greeted her, she gave a huge, tired smile and pulled her friend into a hug. 

"Kakashi-kun!"

"Sakura-chan!"

They hugged tightly for what must have been a few minutes. Passers by gawped and snickered, but they couldn't care less. Finally Kakashi's friend was home, the girl he had sworn to protect for the sake of his sensei's son. 

_She's back, Naruto,_ Kakashi said silently to his beloved student and hero of the leaf. _She is back home, and I promise you, I will keep her safe, no matter the cost to myself. Don't you worry, the shinobi code is well and truly out the window, I will protect my friends, I will not be worse than trash._

He imagined that somewhere Obito was smiling down at the scene below.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah this took ages to write! 
> 
> Beware people: friendship, love and angst coming up!

Kakashi soon found himself in Sakura's apartment, sat with her in the living room. It was homely, bright and cute. Although previously it had always been rather neat, it looked more lived in today. Magazines were scattered, luggage sat in the hall unpacked. Dust was forming on ornaments. Sakura's had never allowed such things before, clearly her new life was taking its toll and something had to give, in this case her neatness.

Not that Kakashi minded. He wasn't the tidiest person in the world, after all. Though certainly he, Sakura and Sasuke had had much higher standards than Naruto. He could have sworn he had seen things growing in it...

Sakura lay across a two seat sofa in an very unladylike manner. Lucky for her Kakashi didn't like hanging around ladies. He much preferred the angry, loud kunoichi that whacked anyone (usually Naruto) that got one the wrong side of her. 

"Sakura-chan, you look exhausted. Let me get you some tea, I won't stay long."

"Don't be silly, Kakashi!" she exclaimed suddenly more alert and sitting up on the sofa. "You're my guest! You can't make the tea, I'll do it."

She tried to stand up but Kakashi pushed her back down by her thin shoulders. "I insist."

Sakura knew when not to argue with this man. He spoke with the same tone as when he was giving them instructions as genin. Sakura, who was very tired and in need of a drink, was about to inform him exactly where she kept the tea leaves, honey and sugar, when she heard that he had already found them without any guessing.

Sakura raised her brows questioningly.

"You're very organised, of course you'd keep it in the cupboard above the kettle," was all he said in reply.

When he returned with two steaming cups of tea, she studied her old sensei. 

"Kakashi, you look almost as bad as me."

"Meh, Sakura-chan, don't be silly, no one could look as bad as you," he said with a cheeky twinkle in his eyes, smiling beneath the mask.

Sakura however, though she felt the urge to whack that smile off his face, could sense his attempts to deter her questioning and change the subject, therefore she only continued her attempt firmly. "I'm serious."

"I know. But I'm fine really. You're the one who looks like she has aged twenty years. Is that a wrinkle?" Kakashi teased.

She resisted running to a mirror and said, "Kakashi, stop changing the subject! What's wrong, you look thinner, and dare I say it, sick. You clearly haven't been taking care of yourself."

Kakashi was surprised, he hadn't realised it was noticeable, though she had been gone for a while. Since then he had practically offered himself to Sasuke all wrapped up in a ribbon. He was just too tired to resist, and too scared of the consequences of continuing to fight the inevitable.

"Meh, Sakura-chan, if you had been here to cook for me this wouldn't have happened."

Sakura sighed, annoyed that he kept evading her. "Well in that case we will get some take-out and you can tell me all about what you've all been doing in my absence."

"That sounds lovely, but I don't think you will be able to stay awake long enough for the food to arrive."

"But I haven't seen you for ages."

"And now you have. And you will tomorrow when we have our take-out," Kakashi smiled at her reassuringly. "I promise."

Sakura nodded to him, eyes already half closed. "Thanks, Kakashi." 

When they finished their tea, Kakashi took the cups to the kitchen and washed up. By the time he got back to her the young woman was already fast asleep on the sofa. He took a pink throw from his own seat and covered her in its warmth.

"Good night, Sakura."

 

***

 

When he arrived back in front of his apartment he found Gai waiting outside. _Thank Kami Sasuke thinks I'm with Sakura right now_ , Kakashi thought. 

"Gai, what a surprise," he greeted, trying not to show his true feelings. He liked hanging out with his best friend a lot and could use his positive energy at this time, but he feared what Sasuke would do if he thought they were too close. "What can I do for you?"

"Rival!" Gai jumped up from where he sat. "I was about to give up; I just heard from my adorable student Rock Lee that Sakura-chan is back in the village. Is it true?"

"Yes, but she is very tired, I left her asleep on the sofa."

"Ah Lee will be happy of her return. Is she well?"

"Yeah, I think so, just drained I guess." Kakashi glanced around. He couldn't detect Sasuke's unnerving aura, but that didn't mean no one else would be watching. He needed to get Gai off the street. "Look, if you're here for a challenge-"

"I'm not."

"Oh." Silence. Kakashi needed to get rid of Gai, without raising his suspicions as to why. "I've already eaten with Sakura so I'm just gonna turn in I think," he lied.

"Right. Before you do, may I come in?"

Shit. Really? Gai wanted to enter his apartment. Kakashi glanced around nervously. Gai couldn't help but notice this strange behavior.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Kakashi said, his voice strained. "Just- just come on then."

With that Gai found himself whisked inside.

 

***

 

The two ANBU that were crouched on a neighboring rooftop looked at each other. One wore a tiger mask, the other a ram.

"Should we tell the Hokage?" Tiger said.

"Why? He thinks Hatake is with the girl. If you ask me it is better to keep it that way. Maito and Hatake are cool, they protected the village enough times in the past. Let's just do the same, just this once, eh?"

"But Sasuke-sama-"

"Will never find out. He only asked us to keep on eye on him while he is with the girl, which he isn't anymore. We don't want all of the leaf's hero's watched." The ram mask sighed.

"What does it matter if he is with the girl anyway?" Tiger wondered.

"Dunno, maybe she is important to the Hokage."

"Then why are we following him and not her?" 

"I dunno maybe he doesn't trust Hatake, maybe he is getting advice on his adviser."

"Hatake's always seemed alright to me; he is no Danzo that's for sure."

"For his sake I hope not. I wouldn't want to get on the Hokage's bad side."

The other ANBU shuddered. "Me neither. So why exactly are we lying?"

"We're not. The report only concerns the girl. She fell asleep, the end."

"OK fine. But if he finds out..."

"He won't." The Ram mask rose and decided he had had enough for one night. Hatake had left the girl's place, that signaled the end of the mission. He hated spying on people he respected. Unfortunately stuff like this came with the role of ANBU.

The tiger ANBU sighed and rose too. "Hey, you don't think the Hokage has a thing for Hatake, do you?" He sincerely hoped not, that would be fucking creepy.

"Don't be stupid. Besides being sensei and pupil, Hatake is too old for the Hokage. If you ask me, he's banging that red headed chick."

 

***

 

Kakashi made his second couple of teas of the night and handed one over to Gai. The green clad man was more reserved that usual, not even giving Kakashi a thumbs up when he handed over the tea.

"So why the visit?" Kakashi asked again.

"I don't normally need a reason, is something wrong?"

Again Kakashi needed to deflect this. "I could ask you the same thing. You seem a little off tonight."

Gai smiled to himself at the typical sort of answer from Kakashi. Part of that was why he loved the man. But tonight he would once again break down those walls and see the true man underneath the underneath.

"It's funny," Gai began, putting down the steaming mug. "You say I am a little off, when in actual fact, this is the first time I have been thinking clearly in a long time."

Kakashi held onto his own drink, as if by clutching it he would be protected from whatever was to come. Had Gai figured out his secret, just what he was doing with Sasuke...?

"You see," Gai continued, unfazed by his rival's silence. "I have always been an open and honest person, except when it comes to the most important thing in my life: that is you, Kakashi." Gai smiled as his love's eyes widened. "For years now I have been burying my feelings, my love for you, and now that all this time has passed and we are at peace, I have come to realise just what a fool I have been. Just who was I protecting by hiding such sincere feelings- it certainly wasn't me or even you. We aren't teenagers anymore, whatever hang ups we had after that night we spent together so long ago, we could have worked through them.

"I always thought you didn't like me, thought I had taken advantage of you. But when I really, truly think about it, you haven't given your heart to anyone else either. So maybe, it's not that you don't have feelings for me," here Gai leaned in closer to Kakashi, while the man was frozen to the spot and kissed him gently, over the mask, before whispering against his lips, "Maybe, it is because you are afraid of your feelings for me."

Kakashi was in shock. What the hell had brought this on? He always suspected Gai's feelings,-lovely, kind, warm-hearted Gai- but they had both pretended they weren't there for so long. Why did he have to confess now? Now, when he had Sasuke to worry about-

_Sasuke._

That's right. He couldn't be this close to Gai. He couldn't spend time with him like this. He couldn't listen to his confession and he certainly couldn't kiss him. Kakashi jumped up and away, spilling hot tea on his hand.

"Argh, dammit!"

"Kakashi!" Within moments Gai had a cold damp cloth wrapped around some frozen peas. He pushed Kakashi back down on the sofa and took the younger man's delicate, burnt hand in his right one and with the other held the cloth over it, cooling the irritated skin. The tenderness with which he cared for him made Kakashi blush.

"Gai..."

"Yes, Kakashi?"

"..."

"Go on."

"Gai... I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I can't- I can't be with you. I just can't. Not like that."

Gai smiled bitterly. He had expected this sort of reaction initially. Kakashi never made things easy for him. Maybe that's partly why he loved him, the man himself was a challenge.  
"That's nonsesense," was all he said in response.

"I mean it, Gai."

"If two people love each other, they should be together."

Kakashi closed his eyes, frustrated. Why did Gai have to make this so difficult? He didn't want to hurt him with his rejection, but if he allowed him to be with him, Sasuke would cause them both even more pain. So ignoring the ache in his heart these next words caused him, he plunged ahead.

"I don't love you."

Gai was watching Kakashi intently, but Kakashi didn't meet his dark, serious eyes. He watched the cloth and frozen peas that the green beast still held on his hand. Gai's grip had tightened but he said nothing for a while.

Then, before Kakashi could react, Gai had dropped the cloth covered peas, yanked Kakashi's mask down and pulled the man to him, crushing their bodies and lips together in a passionate kiss that conveyed all of his emotion, all his love.

Kakashi was tense, shocked, but when he gasped in surprise he found a tongue slide into his mouth. It was warm and wet and gentle, yet somehow firm and determined at the same time. It wasn't ruthless and suffocating like Kakashi had been used to recently. Before Kakashi knew what he was doing he was melting into it, letting himself be held tightly, lovingly. And then he did the unthinkable: he kissed back.

He didn't know how long for. Time didn't make sense anymore. All he knew was the strong body holding him, consuming him, breathing him all in, loving him. They fit together so perfectly. When Kakashi let out a moan, lips still together, the older man drew back, Kakashi's bottom lip gently held between his teeth for another second, before letting go.  
Gai's face was still close, so close Kakashi could feel his breath. He smiled at Kakashi and said, "I don't believe you."

Kakashi was slightly dazed, he had been caught up in the magic of the kiss. Then cruel reality came crashing down, when he remembered his Hokage. He pushed Gai away forcefully and jumped over the sofa to stand by the door, still a little breathless.

"Well you should. I think you had better leave."

"What? Kakashi, I know you feel something for me too, no one could kiss back like that if-"

"Gai, get the fuck out!" Kakashi had to so this; it was for his best friend's own good.

"Kakashi, what the fuck? You can't just throw me out, we need to talk about this, about our feelings, about the kiss-"

"As far as I'm concerned there was no fucking kiss, OK?"

"No! Don't do this again, don't pretend it didn't-"

"For fuck's sake, Gai!" Kakashi had his hands in his hair, he knelt down, losing all composure. Gai was scared; this wasn't his rival, Kakashi didn't break down like this, not in any situation.

"Kakashi," he said gently, approaching the man slowly. He knelt down and took both the pale hands in his, careful of the slightly inflamed one. They were so so thin, so delicate, graceful like sculpted marble, yet they were the trained hands of a killer. Gai longed to kiss them. "Tell me what's wrong- what's really wrong."

"Nothing, I-"

"Kakashi-"

"I said nothing! Nothing is fucking wrong! Just," Kakashi looked around frantically, and Gai wondered why he kept doing that. "Just _go_ , Gai."

"No, not until you tell me-" 

Wham!

Gai fell back on his ass with the force of Kakashi's punch. It wasn't the hardest strike in the world, but it caught him off guard. He rubbed his cheek where Kakashi's fist had connected.

Kakashi was panting. "Out."

"Fine."

Gai rose and put his hand on the door handle. Kakashi didn't move other than to bury his face in his hands. Without looking back Gai said, "I'll go, Kakashi, because you're clearly upset, but know this: you're fooling no one, not even yourself. That kiss meant something to both of us, your body doesn't lie, no matter what comes out of your mouth. Our feelings won't go away because you say so. And I won't give up on you: I love you."

Kakashi kept his hands over his face to hide the tears that leaked from his eyes. He didn't want Gai to see them, he didn't want Gai to see the truth in his words. Because that kiss had meant something to him, Gai meant something to him, and that was why he was so afraid. History was well and truly repeating itself. Anyone who loved Kakashi, who Kakashi loved back, died. Kakashi couldn't lose Gai. He couldn't. That spandex clad idiot meant so damn much to him it hurt.

And if Sasuke ever found out about Gai's feelings, or that Kakashi had some in return, Sasuke would kill him.

The door clicked shut, and when he heard Gai was far enough away, Kakashi finally gave in and allowed the heaving sobs to rake his body as he curled up on the floor.

Why was he destined to such misery? Why did Sasuke have to pick him?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaaack! Hello hello! Hope you are all good :D
> 
> Really sorry it has been so long, but I went on my travels to Japan (AMAZING country!) and when I got back I caught the flu and was bed bound, and then I had face the hell that was work before I had been able to fully recover. So I kept putting off writing- sorry!
> 
> Well, here it is, a new chapter. Sorry if my writing is a little rusty, I haven't done any since my last update on this fic. Eek! To those following my other fics, I will be getting round to updating those as well!But I had left this one on such a cliffy and there was much demand for a new chapter on this, so I got round tho this fic first.
> 
> Enjoy!

When morning came and cast it's red glow over Konoha, it brought with it a wave of emotions. Karin once again couldn't bring herself to rise from her bed; she felt like she was in an endless pit of despair. She had dedicated her whole life to serving the one she loved, in the vain hope that he would recognise her. Now it seemed like that day would never come. Sakura almost felt as bad; she had slept for through the whole of the previous evening and night, yet still didn't feel well-rested. With Sasuke as her Hokage, she wondered if she would ever be allowed to live like a normal person again. Juugo and Suigetsu were eager to start another day. Sasuke was excited to see his favourite new employee, once he sorted some of his shitty paperwork out. Iruka looked forward to another day of teaching with Gai; the hyperactive Green Beast was was a refreshing work colleague, if a little loud and over-enthusiastic.

Gai himself was torn between dread and determination. Things hadn't gone as planned the previous night, but he did not get where he was today by giving up. He was sure if his father were here now, Maito Dai would give a great battle and cry and roar 'go get your man!' or something to that affect. The mental image made Gai smile.

Kakashi woke on the same position on the floor in front of his front door where he had cried himself to sleep the night before. He groaned as he finally rose and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up. A tear stained face would certainly arouse Sasuke's suspicions. Before Kakashi wiped away all traces of last night, he took a moment to touch his lips, the lips that had been passionately claimed by his eternal rival mere hours ago. He sighed. He had never been so reluctant to wash his face.

 

***

 

The school bell rang after the morning's lessons and it wasn't long before all the students were heading for the door that promised the pleasures that a warm spring day could bring. 

"And that, is how you fight a shark!" Gai told the emptying room. He briefly wondered why they had been in such a hurry to leave- why, when his sensei's told their heroic tales, he had been so enthralled he stayed _after_ class had finished and begged to hear more. Just as Rock Lee had when he was their squad leader.

Gai sighed, something he rarely did, and packed away his things. Now with his distraction gone he had little to do but dwell on last night, and he could drop the cheerful facade. His grin was as big, and goofy and shiny as it had ever been, but it wasn't real. 

He had been so gutted about the way things had gone, that he had barely been able to face his super breakfast smoothie that morning. Even the thought of that kiss- that wonderful, beautiful, amazing kiss- hadn't been able to lift his spirits for long. He wanted to kiss Kakashi like that every day, dammit. And somewhere inside him he _knew_ Kakashi wanted it too.

"You know, you really shouldn't be pouting alone in a stuffy old class room on a glorious day like this," Iruka said, arms folded and leaning against Gai's classroom door.  
"Greetings, Iruka-sensei." Gai forcibly removed said pout and made an effort to give a big toothy grin. Being the shrewd man Iruka was though, he wasn't fooled.

"This isn't like you, Maito-san, lingering in the dark. Aren't you the one who is normally lecturing the the other sensei's about making the most of the youthful and wonderful weather?"

Gai smirked. "That does sound like something I would say."

"Indeed. Now come tell me all about that pout: there are only two men that can cause that face and one of them is prancing about the village in green spandex, 'training'. That leaves my favourite lazy, late, porn-hording sensei."

"You're good, sensei."

"I know. And the important thing is- and I quote Naruto here- that guy has a permanent stick up his ass and is socially constipated, but it is important not to give up on him. He is worth it."

Gai nodded solemnly, smiling to himself about Kakashi's unfortunate reputation. Gai knew it was all a mask though, just as he suspected Naruto, and in turn Iruka, knew. It was a way for Kakashi to keep people at a distance. After all, who would disturb the man wielding porn?

"Thank you, Iruka-sensei."

"Don't thank me, thank Naruto."

 

***

 

Iruka and Gai sat on their usual bench as they ate their lunch. Iruka was a good listener and very patient, despite his temper, even with someone like Gai. No wonder he had been such a good guardian for Naruto.

As the bell signaled for all to return to class, Iruka rose and turned to his colleague that was fast becoming his friend. It seemed some developments in the new world really had been good.

"Maito-san, I'm sorry my advice brought you such pain. Yet I do not believe it the wrong path. Kakashi can be irrational and despairing with his emotions, Naruto told me as much. He was barely able to keep himself together when he confronted Obito during the the war, according to Sakura. Just be patient with him. He rarely lets colleagues close the gap to friendship, so a more intimate relationship would be even more alien to him. Give him some space to adjust to the idea, and to get other whatever foolish ideas he has gotten into his head that prevents him from pursuing happiness with you."

Gai said nothing for a few moments, as he rose and walked back with Iruka. Just because he was contemplating does not mean he would dawdle and risk his professionalism. Iruka was amazed at how _quiet_ Gai could be when he seriously considering something. Who would have thought? This is the side if Gai that few actually see, and they are usually enemies in the midst of a battle.

"Iruka-sensei," Gai finally said, as they reached the corridor where they were due to part. "Thank you for listening to me. You give honest and intelligent advice. I hope one day to return the favour."

Iruka nodded. "You're welcome."

"If not, I shall run five thousand laps around the village!"

"Well, you had best honor you word then!" Iruka smiled, knowing the spandex clad sensei was mad enough to do it.

 

***

 

Kakashi had another day from hell at his so called work. He had put up with Suigetsu's snide remarks, Karin's workload, Juugo's sympathetic but solemn looks, and Sasuke's attentions that made his skin crawl. It was another miserable day, made all the more hopeless with last night's reminder of what he will never have: Gai.

After all the shit he had been through in his life, being loved and able to overcome his crippling fears to love in return, would have been as close to a happy ending as he could ever dreamed of, even one soaked in the blood of his comrade to get there. But no, Sasuke has sufficiently squashed those seeds of hope that Gai had nurtured all these year's.  
Kakashi knew how hard that must have been for Gai to finally confront him after all this time, and he felt utter despair that he couldn't comfort him in any way after taking such a risk with their friendship. And worst of all, he couldn't even try to love Gai back. Relationships terrified Kakashi, but maybe, had things been different, Gai could have helped him overcome his fears and they could have had something really special. Now he will never find out.

Kakashi refused to even entertain the idea that Sasuke cared for him, even in his own emotionally fucked way. He didn't want to consider that. The thought that Sasuke could do this to him, and care for him, was just too painful to fathom. Sasuke had murdered his friend in cold blood. He had murdered Kakashi's friends in cold blood. He threatened the only ones that Kakashi had left. Sasuke couldn't care for him at all if he was capable of doing that.

Instead of falling into a pit of worry and despair again, Kakashi picked up some take out and headed to Sakura's for the second night in a row, as promised previously. This time he would be able to talk with her properly about her time away, even if he did feel like shit. He was tired and had a head ache, his injuries from Sasuke's belt beating still stung and ass hurt from his not so gentle time with Sasuke earlier. But this constant ache was apparently his life now, so he would grin and bear it. Thank fuck he wore a mask.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter of The New World, despite the anonymous asshole that sent me an abusive message. I won't your time with a response other than to say: No I won't stop writing this fic! And by the way- I'm female, and straight. But neither am I threatened by homosexuality as you clearly are. Maybe you have something to prove...
> 
> Anyway, sorry about that. This chapter introduces a bit of subplot and brings back someone this fic hadn't mentioned in a while...

Kakashi and Sakura had stayed in each other's company well into the night. She told him all about her travels to the different villages. Kakashi expected that Sasuke's carefully chosen overseers would ensure they were heavily influenced under his rule. Otherwise why appoint them?

Sakura started her journey by going through the Land of Waves to the South and then proceeded on the Eastern route through the Land of Water. This lead her through the five great nations and the smaller ones. Her second to last stop was in Suna which lay in the Land of Wind to the South-west. It was this part of her journey that nearly broke her resolve to serve Sasuke and the new shinobi world.

Regardless of the opporesive heat of the desert, she had felt a chill the moment she appraoched the great village. 

"Kabuto came to meet me at the gates, and I had to squash down the urge to fight or flee" she explained. "Everywhere I turned villagers were throwing us anxious glances, it was like they were holding their breath. I saw it in their eyes... fear."

"Of Kabuto?"

She nodded. "Yes. And Orochimaru."

"Well I can't say I blame them."

"It's worse than we thought Kakashi..."

"They experiment?" 

"They take their pick of the villagers. They don't have to kidnap subjects, they can take anyone they want quite openly. As long as Sasuke doesn't hear about it, he doesn't bother looking into it." She added bitterly, "He turns a blind eye. He believes that Orochimaru in necessary for keeping his peace. No one wants to confront either of them."

Kakashi struggled with himself for a few moments in the silence that fell here. He knew what he needed to ask; but did he really want to know? Could he face any more pain?  
Sasuke seemed to be anticipating his question and held her breath.

"And... and Tenzo?" His face was deathly pale as he forced himself to utter his friend's name.

Sakura watched Kakashi with watery eyes. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry again. She had to be strong, stronger than she had ever been before. She was no longer the emotional little girl who sat back and let her friends take the lead. She was going to be someone Kakashi and all the people of the leaf could depend on. She wouldn't cry... not anymore.

"Oh Kakashi," she gasped, screwing her eyes shut in her effort. "I won't lie to you... it's horrible."

She didn't want to hurt Kakashi with any more bad news. But he had a right to know. It was better he found out from her rather than if he ever had the misfortune to run into that snake or his monster pet Kabuto.

Kakashi only took her hands, giving them a squeeze to comfort her while simultaneously letting her know he could handle whatever she was about to say.  
"Ca- Captain Yamato... he is their prisoner."

She took a shaky, steadying breath before continuing. She opened her eyes, but couldn't meet Kakashi's, and stared hard at the floor.

"They experiment on him, and keep him alive only for this purpose. And they take a sadistic pleasure in torturing him. They- they keep him in the most inhuman, squalid conditions. Kabuto showed me his cell on the tour of the place, and he took great pleasure in doing so, he couldn't stop laughing while I- oh Kakashi-sensei I was such an embarrassing fool, I cried like a child in the face of my shock, pitying Yamato and making it even worse for him."

Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder, giving what little he comfort he could in his own shock.

"Go on Sakura. I need to know."

"Right," she said while trying to calm herself. "His cell it has no windows and is in total darkness once they shut the door. They leave in there for weeks at a time. They feed him little, only old scraps from their plates as if he were a dog. They haven't even given him something to use as a toilet, and so he has no choice but to, but to-"

"I get the picture," Kakashi said, sparing her from repeating that detail. He knew from his time in ANBU that seeing your superiors in that condition could destroy your morale. He dreaded the thought of Sakura ever finding out about him submitting to Sasuke. Could she ever forgive him? Would she ever be able to look at him again. He hated himself, why wouldn't she? "What else?"

"He was wearing these dirty rags, they don't even wash his clothes. They use him for their sick experiments. Or they make him watch as they experiment on others. The worst part is... they made him help them experiment on others, by restraining their victims as they cut them open. He it does in exchange for a decent meal and a wash." 

Kakashi felt his head pounding, but he couldn't wallow, he had to comfort Sakura after witnessing something so disturbing.

Sakura was biting her lip with the effort not to look weak in front of her sensei but it was so damn hard. She had hated seeing her old captain like that. His eyes had looked dead, like he had completely given up on the world, on anything other than relieving his hunger and leaving the total darkness of that cell, even for a little while. 

And the worst thing was, she couldn't save him. She wasn't strong enough to over power them, and even if she could, she was sure there would be reprecussions from Sasuke. And her sensei was in Sasuke's service, under his rule, just like her other friends. What if he punished them for her actions?

Sakura's breathing become frantic as she worried herself into a panic. Kakashi couldn't bear to see her trying to put on a brave face for him... he wasn't worthy. He didn't deserve any sort of kindness, not after letting down yet another friend. He was scum.

"Sakura."

"S- Sensei?"

He hugged her close, wincing at the discomfort from his injuries. "It's OK to cry."

She shook her head. "I will be strong, like you."

"Sakura..." He pulled back to look her in the eyes, lifting her chin with his fingers. "What if I'm crying too?"

And so he was. Sakura gasped in surprise. Kakashi had silent tears trickling from his dark eyes. He wasn't ashamed to cry for his friend. He was ashamed he hadn't done anything for Tenzo before now.

"Don't you worry, Sakura," he said quietly. "I will get him out of there."

"What!" She grabbed Kakashi's shoulder. "You're going to fight Orochimaru- you can't! Not by yourself... I'll come too!"

"Calm down, no one is fighting him. I will go to Sasuke. I'll appeal to him for Tenzo's release."

Sakura finally allowed her own tears to join Kakashi's. "I'm coming with you, Kakashi."

"No."

"But-"

"It's better I go alone. I work with Sasuke every day. I can handle him." Sakura was about to protest, but Kakashi quickly uttered, "Besides, he seems to take pleasure in upsetting you, it is best we don't tempt him. Tenzo could be the perfect ammunition after all." That and he feared she would discover his shame if she saw Sasuke and Kakashi together. The Uchiha could be rather smug and possessive. He also seemed to lack any sort of respect for Sakura, even though she had proven herself to be a strong, talented kunoichi. One of the best in Kakashi's opinion. Maybe one day Sasuke would wake up and see her true potential.

She thought about this; it was true that Sasuke had been ridiculing her. He overworked her and found it amusing. He didn't care about her at all... maybe he had never cared. If only she had known as a naive girl how he would turn out. She could have saved herself much heart ache. She could have loved Naruto then as she did now. Now when it was too late.

"OK, Kakashi. You win."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Firstly, I hope you have all seen Kakashi's face- yep it's official and he comes complete with beauty mark :D Now let's just hope someone translates the manga short for us...
> 
> Secondly, I have now posted the first chapter of my new story, Servant of the Uchiha, it is a Uchiha x Kakashi fic set in an AU similar to feudal Japan.
> 
> Warning: mentions of dubcon ahead. swearing. Sasuke being... well my version of Sasuke heheh

Immediately after leaving Sakura's apartment, Kakashi headed to Sasuke's home. The young Hokage had claimed one of the biggest houses, in the nicer part of town as his own. Though Kakashi suspected that his luxurious home was more of a statement than anything else, Sasuke didn't seem interested in grand living. He also assumed that he chose a big home so that he and his team could live together comfortably.

Kakashi knew he was risking his own well being by approaching Sasuke in the night, in his home, and without permission; but Kakashi had left his friend too long in his sufferings as it was, he would not waste another moment.

It was already gone ten o' clock and the earlier winds of the afternoon had come to a still in the cool night. As Kakashi walked slowly towards the house his stomach filled with foreboding. Could he really so this? He sighed; he had no choice. 

He could no longer put his head in the sand. It was his responsibility that Tenzo had been left there. What kind of friend was he, to condemn his friend to an unknown fate, an imprisonment, by his own cowardliness, his own self involvement, focused on only his own problems. Kakashi made himself sick. All he had done was wallow in his own pain, his own sadness, never once sparing his long time friend a thought that he might also be suffering. Kakashi felt so much shame it was unbearable. And that was why this could not wait till morning, he had to so something right now. He would not be able to sleep knowing what poor Tenzo was going through, while he lay in a comfortable bed in his own apartment.

Kakashi hesitated in front of the house. The house was large and built in the traditional style, surrounded by grass and foliage to give the Hokage some privacy. However advisers would argue against this because it also hid potential assassins.

Now Kakashi had another choice: should he knock on the door, or go directly to Sasuke's window? He could guess from the chakra signatures where they were all staying, and Sasuke was bound to have the biggest room that was back facing rather than looking onto the street. 

The prospect of facing the other three henchmen did not appeal to Kakashi, so instead he flared his chakra as a sign of his arrival, and climbed over the roof towards the back window, before dropping down and heading through. Kakashi could see it was spacious and modest, with a few simple paintings in the old style lining the walls, little furniture, and a large bed with elaborate sheets of the deepest red, and the Uchiha crest adorning it. The room was silent, except from the flickering candles by the bed. 

That was odd. Kakashi could sworn he sensed Sasuke here-

Suddenly the cool blade of a dagger was pressed to the side of his neck as he was grabbed from behind. Kakashi gasped.

"Hello darling," Sasuke breathed in his ear. "Miss me? Is that why you're sneaking around?" He pressed the dagger in slightly firmer just piercing the skin through his mask. "Or have you come to kill me?" Sasuke's voice lost its playfulness and grew serious now.

Kakashi tensed at the contact of the weapon. "No."

"You know, Kakashi, if you were anyone else I would have slit you're throut without a second thought. But you have benefits other's don't." 

Here Sasuke smiled darkly and dropped his weapon to his side before carelessly tossing it on the bed. It didn't matter, to him Kakashi wasn't a threat. Sasuke slowly ran his hand up Kakashi's sides delicately. Too bad the flak jacket was in the way.

"So, my pet," he smelt Kakashi's hair and kissed his neck. Once again he was proud to have outgrown his former sensei in height by about a centimeter, and chances were he could still grow. "What brings you here?"

"I- I must speak with you. I have a request."

Sasuke let go of Kakashi and went to sit on his bed, leaving the older ninja standing before him. Sasuke frowned and watched his lover. Kakashi had never approached him like before so it must be serious.

"Go on. Tell me what is so important that it cannot wait till morning."

Kakashi took a breath. "It's Ten- Yamato. He is being held prisoner by _your_ overseer in Suna, Orochimaru, in the cruelest conditions imaginable. I am appealing to you for his immediate release."

"I see." Sasuke thought for a few moments, watching Kakashi silently. "Andy why does this concern me; or you, for that matter?"

"You are Supreme Hokage. Yamato is one of your citizens. Why should that not concern you?"

"You only answered half my question." Sasuke's eyes narrowed and never left Kakashi's face.

"Yamato is an old colleague. He is my kohai and friend."

"A 'friend' huh?"

Kakashi said nothing and merely nodded. For a moment there was only silence, thick and heavy. Then Sasuke struck. Before Kakashi could even blink, the last Uchiha had him by the throat, choking him, holding him off the ground my the grip on his pale throat.

"Don't you _dare_ lie to me," Sasuke said, his voice tight and full of venom. 

Struggling to breath let alone talk, Kakashi managed to gasp, "I'm...not..."

"I'm no fool, Kakashi, and I won't tolerate being lied to; there's something between you and this wood user."

"No..."

A moment more of Kakashi clutching Sasuke's hand and trying to pry the stone fingers off, and then Sasuke finally released him.

"Very well."

Kakashi fell to the floor, gasping for breath. But he wouldn't give up; even if Sasuke beat him to death he would not give up on his friend. "Sasuke... please."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You're going to beg me know?" Sasuke laughed. "Aren't you too proud for that, copy ninja?"

"No... not when my friend's life is in danger. I don't abandon my friends. That is _my_ ninja way."

"Very poetic," Sasuke scoffed. "But it is time for you to stop spouting nonsense and live in the real world. The world that your generation destroyed. The rotting world you and your friends helped create. Why shouldn't your wood user stew there in his prison, it's the least he deserves. He helped create his bed and know he must lie in it. My new world is for the innocent, for the new generations not tainted by the cruelty and lies of those before them."

"That's not fair!" Kakashi, despite his depression, and his fear of Sasuke, had become enraged. Sasuke was acting like a spoiled child and was being ignorant; just because the world had been unjust, and he and Yamato had been pawns in that world, did not mean anyone should be condemned to such a fate. "Yamato does not deserve to locked up like an animal. Even prisoner's of war are treated better than him, are kept in better conditions. He had not part in the way the world was shaped, he just followed orders like everyone else. Orochimaru treats him worse than a dog, he forced to say in a dark box of a cell, experimented on, and made to take part in experiments on others. Have you no sympathy, no mercy-"

"What about Itachi's sympathy, Itachi's mercy?!" Sasuke shouted this. From another room Kakashi vaguely registered hearing something drop and smash on the ground; obviously team Taka had been shocked to hear their master's yells. "Who cared when my brother was left to his prison, slaving under the Akatsuki? Where was your mercy, or any other member of the leaf, when you saw him? You were all under strict instructions to kill him on sight. And given the chance you would have. Look how the leaf treated the Uchiha, treated their enemies. How many children have died at the hands of shinobi?"

"What happened to you, to Itachi, to the innocents of the wars, was not Yamato's fault. He has suffered enough. Please Sasuke... please, bring him home." Kakashi dropped to his knees, prepared to make a fool of himself to appease the hot-blooded young Hokage. "Please, Sasuke-sama... I will do anything. Please save my friend. Your the only one who can."

Sasuke paused, his breathing heavy from his passionate words, his cheeks pink. He looked down at the man bowing before him. For a moment he had lost himself to his dark feelings, but seeing Kakashi so meek, bowing before him, submitting to him, he felt his want for this man returning. Despite his anger and hate at Kakashi and his generation of shinobi for being mindless pawns, he couldn't deny his passion for his feelings for his sensei. 

At the mention of another man, of Kakashi's pleading for his release, Sasuke had been overcome with jealousy. The thought of someone else with his lover, the mate he had claimed, made him sick with envy and anger. He barely understood his strong feelings concerning his sensei, his possessiveness but he didn't need to: Kakashi was his. He had never had anything he wanted before, but now that he had power, he would take what he wanted and would not share. Years of suffering, of struggling and sacrifice had lead him to this new world, and he would not lose one of the only things he had ever wanted for himself. He deserved his sensei's submission, obedience and respect, after so many adolescent nights of longing. He had proven himself and become stronger. Sasuke had earned this, had worked for it. He was the savior of these pathetic, war-obsessed shinobi, uniting them and freeing them of their petty squabbles.

The thought that Kakashi cared deeply for this Yamato made him see red. But Kakashi insisted they were merely senpai and kohai, friends. Kakashi had always been a loner it was true, but there was no denying he had always had friends. There was those other sensei's, the chain smoking Sarutobi, the dark haired genjutsu expert, and that green idiot who could once open all of the eight gates. Kakashi had been old colleagues and friends with all of them, so maybe his friendship with this Yamato was innocent. After all the only man Kakashi had been with, Sasuke already knew about. 

As Sasuke considered all this he realised something else: Kakashi had waited all this time to save his friend, why the sudden rush now, coming to his bedroom in the night? It must be Sakura's visit that had brought this on. So, if Yamato really had been more to Kakashi than what he said, then Kakashi would have sought his release from Orochimaru immediately. But instead Kakashi had buried his head in the sand. Therefore it stood to reason that Kakashi was telling the truth.

Now the only question was, what would Sasuke do about this? Orochimaru was not an easy man to deal with. Or Kabuto for that matter. He hated speaking with either of them, so ordering this prisoner's release was not going to be an easy task. Yet here Kakashi was, begging him for something. If he did something for Kakashi, maybe this could benefit him. He had broken Kakashi, but he still wanted so much more from the man. Taming him was going well, but he knew he still had further to go until Kakashi was truly his, mind, body and soul.

Sasuke was perfectly happy to take what he wanted by force. But he also wanted Kakashi to accept that he belonged to Sasuke; he wanted him to believe it, no know it deep within his being. 

Sasuke saw an advantage to this situation. He would have to thank Yamato later.

"OK, Kakashi," Sasuke said slowly. "I'll grant your request. But if I do this for you, you must give me something in return."

 _What on Earth could he want,_ Kakashi thought. _I have already given him everything, even my body._

But Kakashi wasn't stupid enough to turn down his only way out for Yamato. If he angered Sasuke, the boy would refuse, and then he'd have to go on a suicide mission to Suna to confront Orochimaru. Even if he did save Yamato, Sasuke would probably just kill him in retaliation. So Kakashi did what he had to.

"Anything."

Sasuke smiled darkly. "Good, pet."

The raven moved back to the bed and sat down, eyeing Kakashi like he was a juicy bit of prey caught in a trap.

"I want you to seduce me."

Kakashi looked up at the Uchiha, thinking he truly was mad; they already had sex, what else could he give him?

"Pay attention, Kakashi if you want your friend back. You will initiate our night of passion by seducing me and taking the lead. I want you to ride my cock like there's no tomorrow. To fuck yourself on my hard dick. Like you mean it, like you want it, like you're fucking loving it."

Kakashi was speechless. He hadn't thought his time as Sasuke's fuck toy could get any worse. It just had.

Pretend he wanted it, that he wanted _him_. Was the boy crazy? He had beaten and raped him on more than once occasion. He had threatened to harm his remaining friends, and had murdered the others. Kakashi could never forgive him, let alone _want_ him. He made Kakashi's skin crawl.

And the worst part was, when Kakashi was with him he loathed himself even more than Sasuke.

Yet, Tenzo's life was on the line; or at least his freedom was. Kakashi wasn't stupid, after going through so much misery, Tenzo wouldn't be happy for a long time, but at least being here and surrounded by friends meant he would be able to heal. It was for his friend that he traded away his last part of dignity.

"As you wish."


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I am back on this fic! Sorry for the long wait, real life got in the way last week, and it took me about a week to write and edit this, I kept umming and erring, never happy with this chapter. I hope I meet everyone's expectations with this in terms of writing, I found it really hard to write this one.
> 
> Warnings: DubCon ahead!!!

Sasuke smirked and leaned back on the deep crimson sheets. His eyes held a triumphant gleam, his face smug and calm, with only the slightest indication of his lust. He wouldn't allow himself to leer just yet; Kakashi would have to drag that out of him.

Kakashi hesitated only for a moment, already resigned after his initial shock to what must be done. But how? He didn't particularly want to touch Sasuke, so he focused on himself first. 

With hands trembling only slightly, he removed his flack jacket. Then his leg wraps and sandals. Pausing, Kakashi risked a glance at his 'lover'.

Sasuke's face was tight with impatience, he looked like a child who had been told they cannot unwrap their presents until midnight on their birthday. Yet the raven did not make a move, determined that he would get what he wanted from Kakashi's willing body.

For the next part Kakashi glanced down, intending concentrate only on what he was was doing- or undoing as it were. He knew it was silly, he had been naked in front of Sasuke many times before, but still he felt embarrassed, ashamed and awkward. Having to pretend he did not feel this way would be a difficult feat, but it was something that had to be done.

Kakashi pulled his top over his head, closing his eyes for as long as he thought he could get away with. For a moment he could tell himself Sasuke wasn't there, wasn't watching his every move like a predator.

"Look at me," Sasuke's voice penetrated the silence. Reluctantly, Kakashi met his intense gaze. "Remember Kakashi, if you do not satisfy me with your part of the bargain, I will not be releasing your friend. Would you want any more harm to come to him, because you are too stubborn to enjoy yourself with me?"

Kakashi had to stop himself from scoffing. Enjoy himself? What a ridiculous thing to say; he may pretend to want Sasuke, but he would not be enjoying himself. No matter how much of a show he put on, this would always be another forced act of intercourse to Kakashi. He didn't want to enjoy this. Every move he made felt wrong, like a betrayal to his friends, to Gai... How could helping his dear friend Tenzo feel so wrong?

Yet he made himself keep his eyes locked on Sasuke's as he pushed down his trousers and underwear tantalizingly slowly. Always being shy about his body, Kakashi would have found this sort of thing unnatural with anyone, even Gai- sweet, loving, Gai; the fact it was with his ex -student and rapist was the icing on the bitter cake.

"Understood, Hokage-sama," he whispered. He was hoping for a seductive purr, but it came out too soft. "Anything."

"My name," Sasuke said. "Not Hokage: Tonight I want to hear my name from your lips."

"Yes... Sasuke," Kakashi's voice was barely a whisper. His final way to distance himself from the other man had been taken from him, his final defensive barrier. 

Sasuke smiled. "Good. You will be screaming it before the night is out, Kakashi."

Ergh. Kakashi wanted to be sick. If he was supposed to be leading this act, why the hell was Sasuke interjecting? Kakashi would have no choice to obey when the time comes- literally- and allow Sasuke his sordid fantasy.

Sasuke could sense his discomfort, yet he chose to let it slide for now. If he made another threat it would just sour the atmosphere that was gradually improving. Soon he would have his sensei writhing on his cock, and he would watch as the beautiful man used his body to fuck himself. Sasuke was already growing hard just thinking about it, he couldn't help himself.

With a graceful side step, Kakashi was out of his clothes that were pooled on the ground, and his pale body bared to the appreciative eye of the Hokage. Recently Kakashi had grown thinner, his muscles less defined with the lack of real missions, but he was still beautiful. To his old student even more so in his weakness; Sasuke liked that he was broader than Kakashi, and that the pale man's lithe hips jutted out even more than they used to when he had first claimed him. His sensei's white skin always bruised so easily, like a soft peach. He longed to sink his teeth into the pearly flesh.

Sasuke was eager to see what Kakashi would do now. Seeing that body was setting his own on fire, but he had to stay cool, he had to let Kakashi arouse him, to take the lead. With Kakashi initiating things, taking the control, he really would belong to Sasuke completely. If Kakashi would stop resisting and be his, things would be much more pleasant for the both of them. He rewarded those who were loyal to him, like Team Taka.

However, if Kakashi acted up again, he wouldn't hesitate to put him back in his place and show him what's what. Yet Sasuke was keen for things to develop now that he had broken the man.

Resisting the urge to groan, Kakashi slowly approached Sasuke, shaking his hips in a way he hoped was wanton. He couldn't prevent his cheeks from blushing with embarrassment. He had never seduced anyone in his life and he really didn't feel any confidence in his movements. The dark haired man only found his blushes more alluring. Kakashi was clearly not used to behaving like this and was doing so just for him, which fanned the flames of Sasuke's ego.

When Kakashi stood in front of Sasuke, he wanted to stall a few moments longer before touching the raven. Instead he ran his hands over his own body teasingly before playing with his own nipples; it was a hollow gesture and Kakashi didn't feel any arousal in the act.

The moment Sasuke's eyes slid from what was happening with Kakashi's nipples, down to his limp sex, Kakashi knew the game was up, and he would have to distract the Hokage quickly, or risk his friend's future.

Tenzo. He could not let himself think of Tenzo right now, it really wasn't helping with his arousal issue. But his mind kept flashing him images of the man suffering, dying. If he died there Kakashi knew it would be his fault. If he failed to impress Sasuke now, Kakashi would never forgive himself as his friend would be paying the price.

Before he fell into more morbid thoughts, and to wipe the frown off Sasuke's face, Kakashi threw himself onto the Hoakge's lap, massaging his shoulders while trying not to cringe at his own behavior. Thankfully Sasuke sat there, not making a move, giving Kakashi full reign. The thought of seeking a kiss from Sasuke turned his stomach, so instead he concentrated on undressing the young man. He could already feel his hard on poking against his thigh through the clothes.

To remove the trousers he sat between the younger man's legs and teasingly rubbed his skin. Once they were gone, along with the underwear, and the Hokage was also naked, Kakashi took the large erection into his mouth, playing with the balls. Other than the time Sasuke had roughly fucked his mouth, this was his first time giving a blowjob. He was slow and uncertain at first, but the grunts coming from the mouth above his gave him good indication of what was working. 

"Fuck, yes," Sasuke breathed. Kakashi's clumsy movements and inexperience were only adding to his pleasure, his possessiveness growing.

Kakashi gave it his all, head bobbing in a rhythm once he got the hang of it. He had mixed feelings while pleasuring his ex-student; disgust, resentment and self-loathing being some. But there was also the annoyance that he couldn't just do this better, to act better and please Sasuke. He has afraid what would happen to his friend.

To solve the problem of Kakashi's obvious lack of enjoyment, he pumped his own cock to the pace he set with the Uchiha, slowly bringing his cock to life, so the next time Sasuke laid eyes on it, he would think Kakashi really did want this.

Secretly Kakashi was hoping that if he made Sasuke cum this way, he wouldn't have to have intercourse again. Of course he had no such luck. Deep down he knew he needed to give Sasuke _everything_ that he had asked, the full works. No point trying to get out of it now.

"Ka- Kakashi-" Sasuke grunted lustfully. "Stop. I'm gonna- just stop."

Before Kakashi could react he felt a hand grip his hair and pull up. He winced but made no attempt to remove himself from the painful grip.

Sasuke looked down at Kakashi's hard cock and licked his lips. "Mmm, I think we're ready." He lay back on the bed and Kakashi only hesitated a moment before climbing up to join him. The silver haired man glanced around.

"Erm where's the..."

Promptly Sasuke reached his hand into a draw on the bedside cabinet and withdraw a small bottle of lube. Kakashi took it and got to work stretching himself. He wanted to close his eyes through the process but knew better than to break eye contact again. The Uchiha's gaze was intense glazed with lust. 

Kakashi held his breath. It was now or never.

When Kakashi felt as ready as he could ever be for such a thing, he positioned himself onto the younger man's cock and slid down. He had never done this before, and it came with a stinging sensation, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

Slowly he rocked his hips and Sasuke moaned. His hands moved to grip Kakashi's hips and Kakashi pulled himself up and dropped down, already panting from the work. Soon Sasuke couldn't resist the urge to thrust up and meet those hips as they came down. 

"Ahh!" Kakashi moaned, looking shocked at himself for making such a noise. Sasuke smirked, knowing where he must have struck. He aimed for that spot again, loving the delicious sounds Kakashi made. 

As much as Kakashi didn't want to be doing this with Sasuke, he couldn't prevent himself feeling pleasure as his prostate was repeatedly hit, and he was surprised to find his moans really were genuine. He didn't know what was worse, putting on the act, or actually finding himself aroused.

Sasuke was watching the man above him hungrily as he bounced up and down, almost gracefully, and Kakashi knew he wanted more. Sasuke earlier orders had been perfectly clear and he almost shuddered to remember them:

_I want you to ride my cock like there's no tomorrow. To fuck yourself on my hard dick. Like you mean it, like you want it, like you're fucking loving it._

He had already come this far, why not go all out? If he didn't give it his all and Sasuke refused to release Tenzo...

No; that wouldn't happen: Kakashi wouldn't let that happen.

Kakashi moaned louder and sped up with movements as well putting more force behind them. Sasuke's eyes widened with excitement. Kakashi was slamming himself down on him, screaming his pleasure, cursing. The silver man threw his head back, groaning loudly. 

Sasuke knew that his team of perverts could hear, but he didn't care. Karin needed to know how things were anyway, she was not worthy of being his whore. He could find silly girls like her easily. But Kakashi... he was something else entirely, unique. Beautiful, deadly, a genius, yet very reserved and shy, despite his acts confidence in his fighting abilities. And he had wielded the sharingan as good as an Uchiha.

Kakashi really was fucking himself on Sasuke's cock, just like the Hokage had dreamed of. Sasuke's ego swelled along with his cock, but he fought against cumming, wanting to see Kakashi cum first, and the evidence of his pleasure all over them both. Kakashi's hand reached for his erection, but Sasuke grabbed his wrist.

"No," he managed he grunt while rocked his rocked almost violently. "Just- just from this. From me."

Kakashi knew what wanted to see, so he performed the final act as best he could. He grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and was practically throwing himself forwards with each thrust, aiming for deeper penetration against his prostate. After only a few more moves he managed to bring himself to completion, cumming in streams over Sasuke's stomach and leaned back, screaming Sasuke's name as loud as he could without it seeming like he was faking it.

His muscles tightened around Sasuke, and the Uchiha could hold on no longer, being milked deliciously by his sensei's body. The force of his orgasm rocked his body, hearing his name screamed had been such a turn on for him.

That was it. It was over. Kakashi, still panting, climbed off Sasuke and rolled to the side on his back.They lay gasping on the bed, side bu side, staring up at the ceiling.  
Sasuke turned to watch his lover, smirking. "Well well, who knew you had that in you, Kakashi."

Kakashi cringed, felling a wave of self loathing. However he pushed it aside for now, knowing there was someone more important at stake. "And Tenzo?"

"Very well, I will contact the snake in the morning. You earned it, after all." He laughed as he patted the side of Kakashi's buttock.

Kakashi tried to move off the bed away from the Hokage. He suddenly felt quite sick with himself, but then he felt a strong arm around his waist pulling him back.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke was breathing heavily, but sounded annoyed despite his recent orgasm.

Kakashi couldn't bring himself to speak, he just gestured to the window.

"I don't think so. I might want to take you again. You have only wet my appetite," Sasuke laughed.

Kakashi couldn't hide his surprise. He had put everything into that thinking he would be able to get away wallow in his shame privately after; he hadn't expected Sasuke to be up for more after tiring him out. He needed his space, he couldn't think properly with him. He needed to go to the memorial stone and soon, to apologise to all his comrades he had let down for such a disgusting slutty display. What would Naruto think? What would Minato-sensei think? 

He felt that a whore, he felt dirty, he felt like he wouldn't be able to face any of his living friends again. How would he ever face Gai again? He felt incredibly guilty, like he had betrayed him. Yet he knew he wasn't good enough for Gai, especially now he was so dirty, so tainted. And to think he had actually got off on it... disgusting. His only consolation was that Tenzo would be safe soon. He had to hold onto that thought at all costs, or he would go mad. This had been the right thing to do, surely?

"You will stay here tonight." Sasuke announced, waking him from his thoughts.

"But-"

"No 'but's'. That is an order. You don't want me to change my mind about the wood user, do you?"

Kakashi gritted his teeth. "No..."

"Then you'll stay." Sasuke seemed satisfied as he reached for a jug of water and poured a glass for himself. "Oh, and one more thing Kakashi," Sasuke said. "Don't even think about trying to kill me in my sleep; you and I both know that without me, your friend is a lost cause. You _need_ me to save him."

And Kakashi knew it was true. He was helpless and completely at Sasuke's mercy, just as Tenzo was at Orochimaru's. "Yes, Sasuke-sama."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I appreciate your patience. As I said I really struggled to write this one. I really wanted to convey all the different emotions fighting in Kakashi's head. I think this would be confusing for him, but I knew he would do whatever it took to save a friend.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo super quick update! Hope you enjoy. Some Sasuke POV and the awkward morning after...

It was late into the night when Kakashi finally fell asleep. He hadn't been able to relax, even after another round with Sasuke ensuring his tiredness. When he had eventually drifted off, Sasuke lay on his side, watching his sensei, who was also on his side with his back to him.

Kakashi was so sexy, couldn't couldn't quite believe that he finally had him here in his bed. His pale back gleamed in the moonlight cast from the window, the red marks from the whipping still visible. Of course it was always too risky to bring him here for the night before, Sasuke may be stronger than Kakashi now, but he could never forget that Kakashi was still deadly, especially when the Hokage was vulnerable like in sleep. Sasuke couldn't let his guard down around Kakashi. Ever. 

Yet tonight he could risk it, now that Kakashi desperately needed him for something. He would have to make the most of this night. He hoped one day soon, Kakashi would come to completely accept his place at Sasuke's side, and that he belonged to the last Uchiha. He wanted Kakashi to scream his name every night, and beg Sasuke to fuck him. He wanted Kakashi to be completely his, and his alone.

Sasuke's mood darkened once he thought of the snake, Orochimaru. Even after all this time he hated dealing with him. And Kabuto. They both took some sick pleasure in getting Sasuke riled up. They'd say anything to try and get a reaction from him, and despite his best efforts to remain stoic, it often worked. When he didn't react they just laughed.  
Sasuke closed his eyes and tried to rid his mind of them. Instead he reached out and stroked Kakashi's sleek, silver hair. It was still a bit sweaty from their previous fun, but it didn't bother him. Kakashi was so beautiful. And he belonged to Sasuke.

He had even been the one to take the lead tonight. Sasuke smiled to himself at the recent memories of Kakashi riding him. It had felt so damn good. He wondered if Kakashi had done that before... with _him_. Obito. The delusional, corrupted Uchiha.

Did Kakashi sleep with him willingly? Or did the other Uchiha lay claim to him just as Sasuke had? Was it just a one-time thing? Or were they lovers?

Sasuke frowned, his grip on Kakashi's hair tightening with the questions. His anger was rising again, his mood turning darker. 

He could ask Kakashi, of course. Kakashi could lie though. Then again he might not. But then he wasn't sure how he would react if he had something confirmed he didn't want to hear. If Kakashi had given himself willingly to another, even a past lover...

"Argh!" Kakashi yelped, waking up to his hair being pulled on.

Sasuke pulled hard, forcing Kakashi's body close to his as he got himself worked up, his possessiveness urging him on. He suddenly felt like he had to eradicate all traces of Obito from his sensei's body. He knew it was stupid, he had taken his sensei many times since, but he couldn't help himself, he couldn't control his resentment, his possessiveness. He didn't understand the strength of his own feelings, but he knew he needed to act on them; he deserved to after all the hardship he and his clan had suffered over the years. What was the point in being the world's savior if he couldn't have the one thing he really wanted, other than his own strength?

With his other free hand, Sasuke grabbed Kakashi's buttock, hard, and squeezed. He smiled as Kakashi jolted with surprise. Then he palmed his own dick to full hardness before pushing roughly into Kakashi, both of them on their sides still, with Sasuke at Kakashi's back. Kakashi grunted, but didn't move. 

As Sasuke began thrusting, slowly, he kept his grip in the silver locks. Then he leaned forward lick across Kakashi's neck, shoulder and back, before finally biting down hard on the conjure between his shoulder and neck, drawing blood and marking the creamy skin.

"You're mine, Kakashi. Remember that," he whispered as he came into the tight heat of his sensei.

 

***

 

The next morning was an awkward affair for Kakashi. The night had been mortifying enough, and mostly sleepless, but seeing Sasuke's comrades was not something he wanted. When Kakashi went to get dressed that morning, Sasuke grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the bed.

"What's the rush, Kakashi," he said as he pulled Kakashi in for a firece kiss. "The snake won't be up yet anyway. We sleep in together for a while, it is a rainy day after all."

True enough, Kakashi could hear the pitter patter of a shower outside. 

"Jugo!" Sasuke suddenly barked. Kakashi could hear some movement in one of the next rooms, and then Jugo let himself in, followed by a grinning Suigetsu.

"Good morning, boys," Suigetsu laughed. "Looks like you two had a good night- sounded like it too!"

Sasuke glared but ignored him.

"You wanted me, Sasuke" Jugo asked, watching the two men in the large bed. The covers hid all of Kakashi but his white shoulders, his face pink with embarrassment but not daring to say anything. Sasuke on the other hand had in arms folded behind his head, perfectly at ease.

"Yes I wanted you- _just_ you, Jugo," he glared again at the playful shark, "to send a message to the snake sannin." The mood suddenly turned serious; even Suigetsu stopped laughing. It was clear all of Orochimaru's old henchmen hated him. "Tell him he is expected here before the end of the week, to discuss the return of the wood-user to Konoha."

"But why?" Suigetsu asked, unable to hide his shock.

"Just do it!" Sasuke hissed.

"It will be done," Jugo confirmed.

"Good. Tell Karin to make us breakfast, we will be down in about an hour or so. That will be all."

 

***

 

Kakashi assumed that Sasuke wanted morning sex- which he did- but he didn't expect Sasuke to hold him after. Sasuke spooned him while drawing patterns on his naked chest with his fingers. He really didn't have Sasuke pegged as the time for post-coital intimacy. Kakashi couldn't help tensing in the embrace- this was somehow worse for him than the sex.

But Tenzo was what's important. He had to focus on Tenzo. Orochimaru would be speaking with Sasuke this week; his efforts would be worth it. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Sasuke inhaling, realising he was smelling his hair. 

"Mm, I could get addicted to this. You smell so fucking good. And you're all dirty and covered in my semen, you look so good like that, so sexy."

Kakashi said nothing as Sasuke started nibbling at his neck, and licking the bite from last night.

"How did it feel, Kakashi, riding me with everything you've got? How did it feel having my cum dripping from you through the night, sleeping in my seed? Knowing you're all dirty, that you're mine."

Kakashi closed his eyes, trying to block the younger man's voice out. It was hard when he could feel him at his back. Sasuke had begun tracing the whip marks with his fingers now.

"Just look at you. All covered in my markings. Mmm."

Still Kakashi said nothing, not daring to move, but wanting desperately to run. He had to suppress all his instincs to try and escape. It would have been useless anyway, and besides he needed Sasuke to help Tenzo.

"Still giving me the silent treatment, eh? Well if you're not in the mood for talking, I know what I could go for. Come, I want you to suck me off in the shower. Then we will eat."


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, managed to get another update out. Hope you enjoy :D I am hoping to go into mega update mode over tonight and tomorrow for a few of my fics!

"Ahhhh fuck!" Sasuke grunted as he came down Kakashi's throat, in the hot steamy shower. It was a spacious shower, luxurious as befitted the Hokage. The tiles were cream, the glass steamed. Kakashi's throat ached, felt raw, after being made to deep throat Sasuke. He hadn't attempted the act before, and it felt uncomfortable, but he did what he had to do and tried his best to suppress his gag reflex.

The grip in the silver hair, darkened in its wetness, loosened. Panting, Sasuke finished showering, switched the water off and stepped out. He roughly toweled him self off and wrapped the red one around his waste. Then he reached for a fluffy grey towel and held it in his open arms, beckoning his companion. Kakashi reluctantly stepped out and towards Sasuke's open arms, who wrapped the towel around his pet.

"You know, I bought this towel with you in mind, for when you were tamed. It suits you," he smiled, rubbing it over Kakashi. "Shit, you look good right now. You make me want to take you all over again; but our activities have been so frequent that even I'm spent. And besides, we just cleaned up. But don't worry, my pet, there is always tonight. You will be staying here again."

Kakashi hated that he couldn't refuse. He had always obeyed orders when it came to his profession, but doing so in his personal life was not something he liked.

Once they were dry Kakashi reached for his uniform.

"Oh no Kakashi," Sasuke said. "We aren't dressing just yet. Here, take this." Sasuke tossed one of his own yukata to Kakashi, along with his mask. It was a plain, informal summer yukata for lounging around the home during summer. For a moment the former ANBU just stared at it disbelievingly. Then he repressed a sigh and slipped it over his thin shoulders. Sasuke watched him intensely. 

When they entered the kitchen the rest of the team were already there, and had started eating- all except Karin who seemed to have no appetite. Kakashi felt very self-conscious in the yukata, and even more so when Karin shot him one of the harshest glares he had ever experienced; and he had made a huge amount of enemies during his career. Suigetsu still had that annoying grin plastered on his face. Juugo remained neutral, but he glanced at Kakashi every now and again, unused to seeing him in anything but the jonin uniform. He couldn't quite rid himself of the image of Kakashi hidden under Sasuke's rouge sheets, the pale skin contrasting so elegantly.

Kakashi tried to hide his embarrassment and discomfort by taking in the room. It was large, clean and simply furnished. The room had a sleek look to it, with black surfaces and appliances, and dark blue painted walls. From the traditional looking outside, he wouldn't have expected this.

"Well?" Sasuke said as he plonked himself in a chair. Karin jumped to attention and served him some black coffee, juice, fruit, rice and fried eggs. "And Kakashi?" Karin sent the older jonin a look of the deepest contempt before practically slamming down a bowl of rice and a cup of coffee. Sasuke and Juugo ignored her. Suigetsu looked between Kakashi and Karin with unbidden glee. Kakashi tried to pretend he didn't notice, but was clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation. He barely ate, and tried to keep his mask in place during the meal. 

When the awkward breakfast was over and they returned to the bedroom, Sasuke once again prevented him from dressing. 

"No, you won't be going anywhere today, Kakashi. I like you like this. I want it to be the first thing I see when I get back- which won't be long as I am taking a half day. Now be a good boy and wait for me in bed." He created a shadow clone here, who promptly took a seat. "He'll keep an eye on you while I'm gone, so I'll know if you've been snooping. And I'm sure you can survive without visiting the stone for one day; remember, you are with me and I am very much alive; your previous lover is long gone, he will never return to you."  
It took Kakashi a moment to connect what Sasuke was saying, then it hit him; Obito. He still thought he and Obito had been lovers, and was clearly jealous of the dead Uchiha. He mentally sent his apologies to the Uchiha for the lie, hoping Obito was able to rest in his grave despite the bitter feelings from the last Uchiha. He prayed to Kami that Sasuke would never find out about Gai.

With one fierce kiss, biting down hard on Kakashi's bottom lip, the Hokage was gone for now.

 

***

 

"She's here," Karin said in front of Sasuke's door after knocking. 

Sakura waited patiently, straining her head around hoping to catch a glimpse of silver hair. She wondered how Kakashi was doing working so closely with their new dictator; after all that's all he would be to her now, he had seized power by force, proclaimed himself the world leader. What else could he be?

And if he was so merciless with their old comrades, with Naruto, he couldn't be easy to work with for Kakashi. 

Sakura was also desperate to know what had happened about Yamato-taichou, after her and Kakashi's conversation last night? Had he spoken with Sasuke this morning? However she would have to hold her questions at bay for now and do this Kakashi's way. He had wanted to speak to Sasuke about Yamato alone.

When Sakura had arrived Karin hadn't glared at her in the usual manner. She had seemed- depressed, glum, despairing?- Sakura didn't know the red head well enough to be sure, but she seemed different somehow. She had always been angry and obsessed with Sasuke, but today the look in her eyes was bitter, full of some unspoken resentment. Sakura wondered who it was aimed it. 

"Send her in," Sasuke called, his voice bored already. Karin opened the door and let Sakura through. On her way in the pink haired girl met the red head's eyes; they were red and bloodshot- had she been crying? Just what the hell was going on around here?

The door snapped shut, leaving Sakura alone with the man she now hated most in the world. A man she had once loved, would have died to protect. A man she had once tried to kill so she wouldn't have to see him sink lower into darkness. And now the man who had killed the only one who truly loved her... Naruto.

If she could give anything, it would be to turn back and tell Naruto that she loved him; only this time she would mean it. He had been there for here all these years, but she was too stupid, too narrow minded to let him in. She had longed only for Sasuke. That love had been her true downfall. 

She couldn't stand herself sometimes; now only that Naruto had been taken from her, did she realise what she had been missing all those years. Naruto.

The blond, hyperactive knuckle-head was the true savior of the world. Her true love. Sasuke was only a pretender.

The Hokage was leaning over a scroll, one hand holding his up, not even sparing his old comrade a glance.

"Well, what do you want?" He demanded, while still reading. "I've not got time to waste so make it quick."

Sakura frowned, before taking a breath and addressing the young ruler. "I need more staff."

"I can send some civilians." 

"No, I mean trained medics. I need shinobi apprentices to train. We don't have enough medics to fully help the war survivors."

"You are prioritising the children, yes?"

"Of course, just as you instructed."

"Then who cares about the rest? You may go."

Sasuke still hadn't bothered to look up. Sakura felt shock rooting her to the ground.

"What...?"

"I said you can leave."

"But I... Sasuke the older victims need help too."

Sasuke snorted. "Victims?" Now he finally met her gaze with a cold stare. "I believe all of those shinobi willingly took part in war. Just as they had all the wars before that. Why should I dedicate my resources to help save the lives of blood-thirsty murderers, rapists, looters and the butchers of children?" 

Sakura was speechless for a moment. Sasuke was glaring at her, his hands clenched, clearly becoming passionate in his growing argument.

"Sasuke... not all shinobi were like that... what about the ones who were honorable, who were just following orders?"

"No shinobi of the leaf were honorable!" Sasuke crushed the scroll on his hands. He looked almost deranged for a moment. Sakura felt it best to approach this from a different angle.

"What about the civilians I can't save?" Sakura asked calmly. "What about the future generations we won't be able to save because we didn't act _now_ by training the new generation."

Sasuke thought about this, calming down. "We are in a time of peace. _My_ reign of peace. We won't need all these medics you speak of."

"Sasuke you can't guarantee that. You know as well as I do there will always be those who try to destroy peace. We should all do our best to ensure they are fully prepared, at least in the arts of healing, starting right now. Let's just hope they are never needed for another war."

Sasuke paused. "Fine. You present a strong argument. Too bad you never had any use when we were in Team 7." Sakura's breath hitched in irritation. Why could he never just admit when she had done well. He always had to be spiteful. "You may speak with the chunin and select some promising candidates to apprentice."

"Iruka-sensei."

"What?"

"His name is Iruka-sensei. You can at least call him by his name and show him some respect."

"He hasn't earned it."

Sakura sighed. She knew she wouldn't win any further arguments here.

"Oh, where is Kakashi?" she asked, as she turned to leave. "If it's OK I'd like to see him before I go."

"Kakashi," Sasuke said icily. "You call him by his name? Do you do this to his face?" 

Sakura smirked at the pissed look on Sasuke's face. For some reason her familiarity with Kakashi unnerved him. "I earned his respect, and we are friends. We respect each other."

There was a hidden accusation there and Sasuke scoffed, laughing at her stupidity. He knew what message lay behind her words; respect work both ways. The girl truly was pathetic, spouting out useless moralities just like Naruto. And look where that got him.

"Kakashi isn't here today." Was all he said.

Sakura looked surprised. Was this something to do with Yamato? "Is he sick?"

"You may go now," Sasuke sighed with impatience. "I also want to be gone from here, and I have much to do; I don't have any more time to waste talking to you. You are a medic and nothing more, you are not worth my time. You weren't back in Team 7, and you aren't now."

With that Sakura bowed and left the room, disgruntled at Sasuke's rudeness yet again. He always underestimated her, seeing her as a useless burden, an idiotic, emotional girl, or just someone with healing jutsu to be tolerated and nothing more. 

Karin was sniffing as she left, her eyes still sore, but Sakura ignored her and stormed from the building, walking in the direction of Kakashi's apartment to see him. She had to find out why he wasn't at work, and if this related to Yamato in any way. She had to know.

"One day, Sasuke," Sakura whispered to herself. "One day you will regret underestimating me. One day you'll finally have to respect me."


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you are all still enjoying this one. I am hoping to push on with the plot in the next few chapters.
> 
> ahhh man I'm so bored, someone write me some yummy MinaKaka pwetty please :p

Despite the loud crowds in the streets during the bustle of late morning, Kakashi's apartment was silent. Sakura knocked a few times. She even put her ear to the door, sure that he must be inside. Where else would he be on a day off? Then the thought struck her: the memorial stone. Though it did seem too late in the day for this trip, yet too early for lunch.

So next stop was the memorial. Still no sign of Kakashi. Then she tried the training grounds, then the high street, and finally back to the empty apartment; yet Kakashi wasn't anywhere to be found in Konoha.

He could be on a mission, but it seems odd that Kakashi hadn't mentioned it last night. He never mentioned a day off either, only that he would speak with Sasuke about Yamato. Was that why he was absent; had he gone to Suna to retrieve him? That seemed a bit abrupt. Sasuke didn't seem like the type to act so rashly for someone he didn't care about. And if Kakashi had gone of his own accord, wouldn't Sasuke be pretty pissed off about that? He didn't like his orders being disobeyed in any way.

Something about all this just didn't add up and Sakura was determined to find out what was happening. After all this now concerned two of the few friends she had left. With a poof she summed Katsuyu as a mini slug.

"OK this is gonna be a bit of a dull one, but I need you to stand watch over Kakashi's house, hidden from view, unless he is injured upon his return. If he is injured, heal him first, if not come find me right away, day or night."

"Understood," the slug replied. "But Lady Sakura, is Kakashi in danger?"

"I certainly hope not," the pink haired girl sighed.

 

***

 

On the fourth morning of Kakashi's stay at Sasuke's, with three nights slept there, the day they had awaited finally arrived: Orochimaru's visit to Konoha. Sasuke had been neglecting his duties somewhat, and each morning rose later gradually later.

That particular day he had demanded breakfast in bed- to Karin's disgust- and sat lazily eating some pickles and ricewith his chopsticks. Kakashi, under Sasuke's watchful eyes, forced himself to drink some of the miso.

"Keep that up and you'll be skin and bones," was all Sasuke said. Kakashi sighed and reached for his bowl of pickles and rice. Sasuke smiled, enjoying having Kakashi take note of what he said as the jonin had always been so headstrong under previous rule.

After a couple of minutes chewing slowly, praying for this to end, Kakashi felt a chill roll down his spine, and cold, rough skin against his shin. Skin that didn't feel anything like Sasuke's. He jumped, dropping his bowl, causing Sasuke to groan in irritation.

"Something's in the bed!"

In a flash Sasuke had also jumped out and thrown back the red sheets. There, slithering around where they had been sitting only moments before, was a snake. Kakashi pulled a disgusted face while Sasuke took the scroll from it's mouth, scowling. With a quick glance he threw it in anger at the wall, not far from Kakashi's head.

"Get dressed," Sasuke spat. "We're leaving for the office. The snake sannin in here."

As Sasuke stomped around the room while changing, Kakashi risked a glance at the unfurled scroll, his curiosity piqued that it could cause such frustration in the usually emotionless Uchiha:

_Sasuke-kun, don't keep an old friend waiting, hmm? It's been too long._

A moment later the door burst open, and Suigetsu almost fell into the room, panting.

"Sasuke, it's _him_." Suigetsu looked horrified to have met his old master so early in the morning. But this was Orochimaru they were talking about and he still creeped out the shark boy.

"I know," was all Sasuke said, a grimace in place. Kakashi, due to Suigetsu's sudden appearance, had finished dressing quickly. "Lead me to him."

 

***

 

When they reached the Hokage Tower, Juugo was waiting outside with a grim look on his face. Sasuke had been scowling for the whole walk there, Kakashi and Suigetsu flanking his sides. Suigetsu hadn't even bothered teasing Kakashi.

"Where is he?" Sasuke demanded the second he approached the red head. 

"In your office."

Sasuke's eyes flashed dangerously. "You left him in my office _alone_?"

"Of course not," Juugo replied unfazed by Sasuke's temper. "Karin is with them."

"Them?"

"Kabuto is also here."

Sasuke groaned. "Kakashi, you are to wait in the kitchen. Juugo, Suigetsu, you are with me."

Suigetsu looked like he would rather be anywhere else. Juugo just nodded, with only a slight apprehension.

The door to Sasuke's office was left open and the three men approached determinedly. Though this did not prepare Sasuke for what he found inside, and a scowl quickly reappeared on his face.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun," Orochimaru said, smiling wickedly as he leaned back in the Hokage's chair, completely unfazed by the young ruler's irritation. "You've finally arrived after your little lie in this morning. Must be sooo lovely being your own boss. I must have worked you too hard previously."

"You're in my seat, Orochimaru." Sasuke replied sternly.

"Oh my, how very rude of me! But you must forgive an old man as weary as me, I just couldn't resist resting in this very comfortable Hokage chair. To think both my teacher and student has occupied this desk, what joy."

Despite his polite words, they were spoken in the sanin's usually snide, playful way. One never knew what Orochimaru was thinking, unless you sparked his anger it was hard to see through him sometimes. He did at least move from Sasuke's chair, smirking at how Sasuke had already been riled up.

"So my old protege, what brings me here?"

"To discuss your current prisoner, the wood user. And you could have come alone, I only sent for you."

"Ah, but Kabuto here is was just dying to see his old kohai, weren't you?"

Kabuto laughed hollowly. "I could never turn down a chance to see our dear Sasuke-kun."

"And what on earth makes you say Yamato is a prisoner. Tut tut, I'm hurt Sasuke-kun. He is a part of the family." Orochimaru continued, sharing a glance with Kabuto that made Karin shudder.

"Don't bother, I know how you treat him."

"The medic doesn't like our little games then?" Orochimaru laughed now. "I see."

"You will send him back to Konoha," Sasuke said, taking his seat at the Hokage desk and playing with a kunai in his hand.

"Oh? And what do I get in return?"

"That's an order from your Hokage. I gave you Suna, I can take it away again."

Kabuto moved menacingly forwards but Orochimaru put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Now now, Sasuke-kun, is that how you speak to your old mentor, hmm?" His voice was silky, which unnerved those present. "Suppose you were to remove us from our new home, who else can you put there that you rely on? Who else can carry out the research you want? Suna shinobi are an unruly bunch, and we both know that fear of the snake keeps them in place. I think you need me, _Hokage-sama_."

Sasuke was staying stoney-faced, not wanting to give anything away. He knew he was more powerful than both of the other two, and he had his team with him as back up, but he really didn't want them as enemies when he was trying to hold together his new time of peace; his people needed stability, and as much as he hated to admit it, Orochimaru was right. His rule would benefit more with the sanin as an ally, not causing trouble or dead. The last thing he needed was the Suna ninja getting unruly and rising against him when their greatest fear was removed from office.

Sasuke sighed, irritated. "Fine. What do you want?"

Orochimaru looked briefly at Kabuto, and then a creepy grin erupted on his face. "It isn't so much a question of what, but more 'who' do I want. After all I think I deserve an even trade..."

The disturbing laughter of the sanin and his monster follower echoed throughout the room. The young raven loathed that laugh. He hated any dealings with these two, especially when he was reduced to bartering with them. Sasuke, repressing a shudder, considered the sanke's words; Kakashi had only begged him to save this Yamato, no more than that.. If he didn't want things to get messy and still keep his promise to his lover, he would have to agree to a trade. After all, what Kakashi didn't know wouldn't hurt him, and if he ever did find out, well he had kept his promise, hadn't he?

Yet even as Sasuke tried to justify this decision to himself he couldn't help but think think of how Itachi had been sacrificed for the good of the village, and felt a chill run through him despite the warmth of the day. Was he just like those cold bastards of Hokage before him? No... no... he wan't like that... this wasn't the same world anymore, he wasn't like them-

Karin gasped, "Sasuke!" Sasuke had unconsciously gripped the kunai in his hand so tightly by the blade that his palm was dripping blood. As soon as he realised what he was doing he snapped out of his reverie. 

"Orochimaru," he growled. "Once the wood user arrives at the gates I will send the one you want. Now get out of my sight."

Orochimaru cooed out a thank you, laughing again with Kabuto. He licked his lips. "How delightful! Isn't it nice when we all get what we want?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh sorry about the last cheeky cliff hanger- and this one! You do find out the big 'who' in this chapter-

Kakashi was agitated as he waiting in the kitchen as instructed. He paced back and forth, sat down on a sofa or wooden chair only to rise again moments later and repeat the action. His forehead and neck tinged with cold sweat and despite his thirst it didn't even cross his mind to pause for a drink.

The irony was that this was the first time in a while, since submitting to Sasuke's demands, that the raven had achieved to gain any real emotion from him. Over the weeks Kakashi was numbly aware that his feelings were becoming more and more dulled, like a blunt kunai used continuously in battle. He was closing his mind off as a way of coping. And then he found out about Tenzo, how Sasuke, Kakashi's keeper, was going to save him. And for one of the first times in a while, probably since Gai had momentarily broken down his walls during that kiss, he was an emotional wreck.

It was as he hopped onto the kitchen counter for the second time that the door creaked open to reveal the thin figure of Karin. She slowly shut the door behind her with purpose and approached the copy nin slowly. Kakashi slid off the cool surface to stand again.

"They are leaving, you know. You can see them from the window." They both approached the window and peered out onto the street below; sure enough the sanin and his monster were walking alongside Sasuke as the horrified citizens looks on. "I should congratulate you: not only did you get what you want, but you stole what I want as well."

Kakashi scowled, his temper snapping. "I didn't ask for Sasuke's attentions, nor do I want them. Believe me, I wish I could pass them to you-"

"But I wonder, old man, what is the cost of getting your way?"

Kakashi paused mid rant- he had barely caught what she was saying. "What do you mean?"

Karin smiled sweetly, twirling a bright red lock of hair between her fingers. "Why, the price of freedom of course."

Kakashi grabbed her wrist. "Do not speak in riddles. Now tell me what that means."

"Ooh such a temper sensei," Karin said, pulling her wrist from the man's grip. "You have such bite in your bark after all, I wonder if that's what Sasuke likes about you? And to think I sneaked away early to deliver you the news myself." She nodded towards the window and Kakashi could see that the two from Suna weren't going anywhere. They looked as if they were waiting... but for what? He could see Sasuke speaking with a messenger genin, who ran off hastily. "Now what could this be about, I wonder?" Karin purred next to the ex-ANBU.

"I am going to ask you one more time," Kakashi said, gritting his teeth in apprehension. "Is Tenzo being freed?"

"Like I said, you got what you want."

"Did Sasuke have to appease Orochimaru and Kabuto somehow to do arrange this?"

Karin smirked. "You could say that."

"How?" Kakashi turned to the girl, wishing more than anything he had his sharingan again.

"Why don't you see for yourself? Patience sensei..." The sight of her smug face made Kakashi feel sick. It had to be bad news for her to come in here flaunting it, the jealous, spiteful bitch. Never take on a kuonichi scorned was the golden rule, but he had without even his own consent to the war over Sasuke's affections. The woman must be crazy, or masochistic, or both to want his attentions.

The viper gestured to the window again and Kakashi looked back outside, stomach churning. A crows was attempting to gather but the ANBU were ushering them away. Then Kakashi saw her and his heart dropped. No... surely not... it couldn't be what he thinks. Sasuke wouldn't trade one hostage for another... no....

Karin was close to Kakashi now, leaning in to whisper in his ear. "And just think Hatake, this is: All. Your. Fault."

 

***

 

Orochimaru waited with the stoic and tense Hokage, who he delighted in unnerving, and his anxious team mates- all his old subordinates. It was still hard to believe this rabble had prospered over him, even if one of them was the last Uchiha. Tch. No matter, he was no longer interested in that particular post anyway; he could have just as much fun with the title. It also gave him great pleasure to creep the world ruler out. Just to prove this point he gently stroked Kabuto's hair like some sort of pet, and laughed at Sasuke's disgust; the boy had always hated Kabuto to begin with, and with his apprentice's new unpleasant appearance it seemed to even more apparent. Oooh goodie.

With the soft sounds of footstep, the messenger had arrived with his charge. Although Sasuke had agreed that Orochimaru could claim his new addition to his home after Yamato was returned to Konoha, Orochimaru had insisted on seeing his new companion just once before heading back to Suna, to wet his appetite. Yamato was fun while it lasted, but he had never had much fight to him. Possibly because he had lived as an experiment before now, the man had given in quite early on to his fate. There was only one who could really entertain him now. He had waited a long time for this little reunion.

The footsteps soon stopped and a shocked in take of breath could be heard.

"So, my sweet," Orochimaru sang. "You haven't forgotten me after all."

The shinobi's hand instantly moved towards their kunai. "Ooooh tut tut, is that any way to greet an old friend? You young people really have forgotten your manners it seems. Now, be a good girl and bow to your old master."

Instead she froze and her eyes moved towards the Hokage's searching his to see if this could possibly be real. While Orochimaru's grin widened, pure loathing welled up in her eyes. Oh the fun they would have once she was brought to him in Suna. After all she had once vowed to kill him, that this was her burden as his old student. Her curse mark may be gone, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy reducing her to the pathetic state the wood user was in.

"Leave it," Sasuke said to her. "He was just going."

"Hokage-sama," she said, still in a defensive position and ignoring Orochimaru. "Then why am I summoned here?"

"Was it so wrong of me to wish to see my old protege before making the journey back home?"

The kunoichi still refused to answer him.

"Ooh such a tough nut to crack. No matter, I'm sure we will have plenty of opportunities to work on our relationship in the future. Don't miss me too much. Until then, my child."

Anko visibly flinched and prayed to kami that she would never see that disgusting snake again, whom she loathed more than anyone else in the world. She had vowed to kill the cretin once, and take that responsibility as his one time disciple, but she knew now that it was hopeless. The snake had a habit of returning from the dead it seemed. And besides he had an alliance with the Hokage. Lucky for her he rarely came to Konoha anymore, so she didn't often have to see his vile face.

 

***

 

"No!" Kakashi cried his palm slamming to the glass of the window. "NO! He didn't... he couldn't..."

"He can and he did."

Kakashi shook his head, clearly in denial. "No, he wouldn't do that to a konoha shinobi."

"He had no choice. The snake wanted to trade, you wanted your Yamato. Sasuke was only keeping the promise he made you. This was all your doing."

Kakashi sank down to the floor, his sweaty palms sliding down the glass. He felt utterly wretched. Why did everything he do to try and help bring only more pain to others. He and Anko weren't close, but she had been part of his life as fellow shinobi for a long time, and they had respected each other. And now she...

Kakashi scrunched his eyes shut to prevent his tears from falling in front of Karin. "I... I didn't want this..." he choked with emotion he was fighting to control. He was close to despairing.

"Oh? You should have been clearer then." Karin laughed at the pathetic old man's state. How could Sasuke want such a foolish wreck?

But she didn't expect a surprisingly strong, thin hand to reach out and grab her by the throat, lifting her up off the ground. Kakashi was starved, thin and weak compared to what he had been, but the man was still a strong shinobi, and still a threat- and she was pushing him over the edge.

"You- you _bitch_ ," he spat. 

Karin was gasping for air and still shocked; she hadn't expected the downtrodden copy ninja to fight back.

"Wait... it's Sasuke you need to speak to. He gave Orochimaru the girl, not me." Her voice was strained and slow as her neck was compressed. If Kakashi wasn't paying her his full attention, he would have missed her quiet, rasping words.

As the girl clutched at his arm his head was spinning. She was right, taking it out on her wouldn't solve anything, despite how good it made him feel and how tempting it was. Sasuke was the one who had agreed this, who had caused this- if it was true that it. He only had Karin's word to go on for now.

Making up his mind, Kakashi let the girl fall to the floor, rubbing her neck and gasping for air.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi sprang to action, heading towards the Hokage office to wait for him there. He wouldn't believe this from that bitch, he had to hear the words directly from the Hoakge's own mouth. He prayed the whole way that it wasn't true that Sasuke hadn't done this terrible deed for Kakashi... surely it wasn't true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so I was surprised that no one guessed Anko. I always felt that there was a lot of unresolved tension between those two ...


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: OK so I have been scouring the internet for kakashi doujinshi... not of the kakaIru variety. And I know it's out there because I found old posts of people selling it hard copies, but I wanted to find some online scanlations if possible. Particularly interested in YonKaka but other Kakashi stories would do. If you know a good source where I can find these please let me know :) I would be veeeeery grateful.
> 
> So this chapter is quite lengthy to make up for my time away; sorry for the wait but work has been soo busy and demanding I haven’t had much time to myself with all the overtime. I hope this chapter doesn’t on too much, but I wanted to get some of the emotions down before ploughing ahead with the cliffhanger at the end.
> 
> Warnings: Sasuke angst, violence, non-con and another cliff hanger (sorry but I am trying to move on with the plot so you may be getting a few cliffys soon…)

When Orochimaru had finally left, Sasuke turned without another word to anyone, and headed back to the Hokage Tower. Suigetsu and Jugo watched him with anticipation, waiting for some sign of outrage, for him to lash out somehow, but Sasuke pushed past both of them and shut the great doors of the tower entrance behind him. The shinobi working on the ground floor all turned to him, but didn't dare say anything, somehow sensing the mood of the Hokage despite seeing so little of him. Sasuke instead headed into a toilet on the floor above that had little human traffic. When the lock clicked in place he leaned against the door, his eyes closed.

What had he done? Had he really just traded one of his leaf shinobi for another? Were they all just numbers to him now, rather than people? Was that how Itachi's leaders had seen him, a mere mindless follower? Was Sasuke no better than the shinobi rulers before him? Was he just a hypocrite after all…

 _It's not the same,_ Sasuke told himself. _It's not the same... The girl has nothing special about her, Orochimaru won't use her for experiments the way he did the wood user. I'm not banishing her like they did Itachi, I am just appeasing the snake for now... Another question was dying to be asked: but can you be sure? Sasuke refused to even fathom it._

Then Sasuke thought about the girl and the current prisoner. Yamato had been not only in ANBU but ROOT too. He had hunted Itachi, followed that bastard Danzo's orders. And the girl had been in league with Orochimaru previously, had possibly loved him once; they were both far from innocent and neither deserved his pity or his loyalty.

But they were _his_ shinobi, his to command and his to protect. Yet had they protected the innocent victims of the other villages when they had been ordered to raid during the wars? No. Would they have refused an order to assassinate an innocent or even a child? No. Would they have thought twice about treating a prisoner the way Orochimaru had, if they had been ordered to? No. If it had been Sasuke or Itachi who had been captured as a prisoner of war, he shuddered to think how they would have been treated by these ANBU. They wouldn’t have given a damn about him or Itachi.

Their actions had helped build the cruel and merciless world of the Kages. Madara and Obito may have been crazy in the way they went about things, but they had the right ideas and morals when it came to the way these petty, squabbling villages of great shinobi nations had behaved. The smaller villages loved Sasuke's rule, he kept them safe by punishing and controlling the big villages and keeping them in line.

He was justified in this. Why the hell should he care what happened to either of them. At least the wood user was more useful to have around then the special jonin. Orochimaru could have her. She had done nothing to earn his protection or warrant his sympathy. 

He thought of his family, his mother and father as they died, what Itachi had been forced to do. Anger was welling up within him, a bitter wave of hatred aimed at them all, all the pathetic mindless leaf shinobi, even Kakashi. None of them had given a damn really when Itachi had wiped out his clan, they had all just been grateful that the unruly Uchiha were no longer a nuisance, no longer challenging the way things were run by Danzo and the Hokage. The Uchiha had been treated appallingly for years before the massacre. Where the fuck was Kakashi then? Did he care for any of the slaughtered innocents that day? Did he beg the Hokage to spare anyone then? 

And when he had left to be with Orochimaru, it wasn’t Kakashi who had come after him, it was that imbecile Naruto. Kakashi hadn’t gone to the Hokage and begged for Sasuke’s forgiveness. In fact he had been one of the first to try and kill him, that day on the bridge after his fight with Danzo. For all Kakashi knew, Orochimaru could have been torturing him, brainwashing him. Maybe he needed Kakashi’s support, his forgiveness. And the first thing Kakashi asked him during the final battle of the war, was what his motives were!   
The rage was building, Sasuke was seething. He suddenly felt betrayed somehow, angry that he had even been put in this position today by Kakashi, that he had had to make such a decision. Kakashi cared more about his precious ANBU friend than he did Sasuke, who had sacrificed everything for this new world, to be with him.

Without unlocking the door, he kicked it open, breaking it, and headed for his office rather than this confined space. He would not hide in a cubicle like a school boy, he was the Hokage and he had done nothing wrong. 

As Sasuke stormed through the corridors, others made sure to keep out of his way. All except one shinobi it seemed. For as he arrived in his office, he was met with one equally angry ninja: Kakashi.

Kakashi was by the window but turned as soon as the door opened. He looked at Sasuke a mixture of emotions that were hard for the raven to read in this state, but his anger and hurt were clear. 

“Get out of my office.” It was spoken a lot calmer than he felt. 

Kakashi ignored him, squaring his shoulders. “Tell me it’s not true,” he said slowly, deliberately, looking straight into the last Uchiha’s eyes. “Tell me, Sasuke.”

“I did what you asked, Kakashi, don’t push me any further.”

“At what cost, Sasuke?! At the cost of another life?”

“It’s hardly a ‘life’. She isn’t being sent to her death, she will live in Suna with her old master.”

“Her old master who tortures and humiliates people,” Kakashi’s voice was high, desperate. Sasuke was surprised at seeing the man so uncollected. “How could you, Sasuke. _How could you_?”

At the accusation in his tone, the betrayed hurt in his voice, Sasuke become suddenly defensive. 

“I only did what you wanted.”

“Don’t try to turn this around on me; this isn’t what I wanted.”

“You asked me to save the wood user, and I did.”

“I didn’t ask you to send Anko- I didn’t want that! Her life still matters!”

“Not to me. She was worthless. Just as useless as the rest of your generation-”

“Not that again- we both know she had no part in Itachi, in the wars, in any of that.”

“You were _all_ guilty of war crimes, don’t even give me that. I saved your friend and you don’t even have the decency to thank me. I had to lower myself, to barter with that disgusting snake for you, and all you do is barge into my office without permission and accuse me, your Hokage. I won’t stand for it! I gave you what you wanted Kakashi, I suggest you be grateful.”

“This isn’t what I wanted!”

Sasuke slammed his hand into the wall, cracking it. “I have had enough of what _you want_ today. Now it is time for what _I want_.”

Sasuke reached out for the silver jonin and grabbed him with one hand on the back of his neck and one over his mouth, anything to shut him up. He didn’t want to hear Kakashi’s words, his biting words. He didn’t to face that they might hold some truth to them. He wouldn’t have his actions questioned, especially not when Kakashi had put him in that position in the first place.

Before he could make another move though, Kakashi had flung his head forwards with so much force and speed that Sasuke wasn’t expecting it. His head crashed into Sasuke’s causing pain to both, but Sasuke let go of Kakashi immediately and held his hands over his hurting forehead.

“What the fuck?!”

Kakashi took a step back, his breathing heavy. “I won’t submit, Sasuke. Not this time. Not until you break the deal with Orochimaru. Not until both Tenzo and Anko are safe in this village.” If Kakashi stopped to think about it, he would have known that his stand was useless. Kakashi had given up defending himself against Sasuke, but he would still fight back on behalf of his comrades. He wouldn’t make things for easy for Sasuke, not when it affected the lives of his friends; he may not be especially close to Anko but he would still protect her as best as he could.

“You refuse me… for them? For the worthless trash who called themselves good shinobi?”

“I will always defend my comrades, Sasuke… even from you.”

“Fine, if you won’t be a good little kitty any longer we will do this the hard way. This will be easy.”

“Don’t be so certain.” Kakashi pulled a kunai from his pocket. 

Sasuke saw red: he had tamed Kakashi, he had him where he wanted him, and now his lover was attacking him. They had come this far, and now there was no way he would be able to have Kakashi sleep in his bed again, not for a while at least. He had thought Kakashi was broken, had come to accept him, and now this.

As Sasuke took a step forwards, a strong arm wrapped around his neck from behind: a shadow clone. Kakashi must have hidden it behind the door this whole time, the sneaky little-

The real Kakashi approached with the kunai, but Kakashi wasn’t afraid of him; he elbowed the shadow clone hard and it dispelled. Kakashi lunged for him, but Sasuke grabbed him and swung him into the wall.

“Drop the kunai.”

Kakashi gave him a disbelieving look, before throwing it straight at him. However with Sasuke’s sharingan eye, he predicted this move and saw it coming before the weapon had even left Kakashi’s hand and easily dodged. 

“Nice try, _sensei_ ,” Sasuke sneered at him as he pounced, holding Kakashi’s wrists to the wall. “You know, I think you made this so easy on purpose, you want it rough like this, don’t you sensei? You want my cock, just like a dirty whore. Who would have thought, the son of the White fang, student of the Yellow Flash, a cock whore-”

“Keep talking like that if it makes you feel better, Sasuke, if it alleviates your guilt. But you’re not fooling me.” 

Momentarily distracted by Kakashi’s cold words, Sasuke paused, allowing Kakashi enough time to knee him hard in the groin. Sasuke staggered back, grabbing the injured area. Now he was really pissed.

“You’ll fucking regret that.”

Kakashi’s fist connected with Sasuke’s chin. “I don’t think so.”

It was strange, the more violent it got, the calmer Kakashi became, going into battle mode, and the more irrational and emotional Sasuke became, as if they had switched places from the beginning of the confrontation to now. Kakashi knew it was hopeless and he couldn’t win as he was much too weak these days due to not eating properly and from previous beatings, but after what had happened he would not lie on his back willingly for this ignorant boy, who let his bitterness, pain and emotional control his judgment as a leader. 

Kakashi grabbed Sasuke’s shirt and raised his fist, but the Uchiha activated his eyes and in Kakashi’s unguarded moment pulled him into a genjutsu. The face before Kakashi, that he was about to hit, turned into Obito’s. Kakashi gasped and his fist halted, despite knowing deep down what it was. He just couldn’t believe Sasuke would resort to such tactics to get to him.

“What’s wrong Kakashi?” Sasuke taunted with Obito’s face. “Aren’t you going to hit me?” Sasuke quickly turned the tables, grabbing Kakashi and kneeing him in the stomach, both winding him and breaking the genjutsu. “So your fist wavered; do you really care more for him then me? After all he did?”

Some one-sided taijutsu broke out, with Kakashi on the defense and taking most hits. A dizzying blow to the face particularly got to him. It wasn’t long in Kakashi’s weaker state, that Sasuke was able to restrain him. He kicked Kakashi on ground a few times and then grabbed Kakashi by the hair and dragged him towards the Hokage desk. The raven pushed the contents off, picking Kakashi up and slamming him down onto his back. The silver haired ninja cried it glad that his spine hadn’t snapped under the pressure. 

Kakashi felt slightly drowsy and slow witted after allowing himself to be trapped in the genjutsu, and his body was weak. He didn’t try to get up as Sasuke pulled his clothes off, he was already beaten and bruised, and the fight was over. He just hoped Sasuke would do his business quickly. 

“You still haven’t learnt your place, Kakashi,” Sasuke said as he stood at the end of the desk, pulling Kakashi towards him by his feet. “You still put others before me. I think that deserves a little… tough love, as punishment, wouldn’t you say?” He pulled Kakashi’s legs over his shoulders as he stood eyeing him hungrily, his anger giving way to a predatory lust. “Maybe this will inspire some obedience, and remind you who you belong to…”

Sasuke ran a finger teasingly over the crack in his buttocks before leaning over to prod at Kakashi’s mouth. “Suck.” 

Kakashi closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the raven, but did as he said. Sasuke placed each finger, and thumb, slowly into his mouth one at a time, instructed Kakashi to lick them. “Like a good dog,” he laughed to himself. 

Then he brought his hand away again and placed his index finger at Kakashi’s entrance and pushed in. He moved it in and out a few times before the second joined, opening in a scissoring motion. Then the third was added. Kakashi was panting from the fight still, and felt ashamed that he couldn’t stop what was happening, that he couldn’t save Anko. He hoped that Sasuke’s cruelty would at least distract him from his painful thoughts.

When Sasuke added a fourth finger, eagerly watching for Kakashi’s reaction, he looked up with the sting. This was new. Smirking, Sasuke finally pushed the thumb in too, still stretching him out painfully. As Sasuke pushed his hand in with force, Kakashi grabbed the sides of the desk, gasping in pain. Kakashi’s abused hole stung as the whole fist was pushed in.

“Do you like this Kakashi? The pain and the pleasure simultaneously?”

Kakashi was gritting his teeth with the pain, trying not to say anything.

“Next time you decide to question me just think of this moment. Though I have to say, I think you’re actually enjoying it.”

Sasuke opened his palm, causing Kakashi to wince. Through porn Kakashi knew that this could be an arousing and pleasurable experience, thought it was hard to imagine that at this moment. If it had been someone he trusted doing this, like Gai ( _don’t think of Gai, don’t think of Gai_ ), and if they used lube and took their time, it could be an enjoyable experience. But Sasuke was hasty and rough and reveling in the so-called ‘punishment’. Deep down Kakashi thought that this was much more about stress relief and sadistic pleasure for Sasuke, a come down after the confused feelings he had been experiencing; for surely he must know what he did was wrong and not worthy of a Hokage. In Kakashi’s mind it was not far off sending a teenager to slaughter his own for the good of the village.

When Sasuke removed his hand, finally, Kakashi felt so stretched and unsure whether it was more pain or pleasure. It was strange. He didn’t have much time to ponder this though as Sasuke climbed on top of the desk to finish what he started.

 

***

 

Katsuyu waited as instructed, day and night for Kakashi’s return just as her master had instructed. Hot or cold, rain or shine, she stayed in her spot unwavering and hidden from view. And then finally he returned. 

Despite the relief of seeing him, Kakashi’s appearance was not something to be happy about. It was late morning, but he climbed over the roof tops, not wanting to see anyone or be seen himself. Even in his jonin uniform at that distance, he seemed thin, his movements rushed and strained; he was almost certainly injured beneath those clothes. He hadn’t even noticed the slug watching him. This was bad.

Sakura’s orders had been to heal first, then go to her. But the way Kakashi was sneaking around did not bode well and made the summon worried. Tsunade’s silver jonin had always been half-assed when it came to his own health, and slipped from the hospital usually before he was authorised, but this time he clearly didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt. 

Making up her mind, the little slug decided to summon Sakura to her instead. She was sure the girl would be discreet, knowing where she was currently hiding. She just hoped Sakura’s absence wouldn’t be missed at the hospital for a while.

With a poof Sakura appeared. “Katsuyu, what is it? Has he returned?”

“Yes, my Lady.” The concern in the summon’s voice gave her away instantly. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“He’s injured. I didn’t see him close enough to know how bad, but he looks weary… weak.”

“Didn’t you heal him?” 

She shook her head. “He was moving above the rooftops so secretively and has been missing so long that I had thought it best if you heal him yourself.”

Sakura sat back on her heels and nodded. “That might be for the best,” she sighed. The medic rose and looked at her sensei’s apartment. “Oh Kakashi, what have you gotten yourself into?”

“Good luck, Lady Sakura,” the slug said as her master jumped up to the window of her sensei and pulled it open; she wouldn’t risk him evading her or hiding the truth this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way I did check first that summons can summon their masters to them as well. Next chapter: the confrontation with Sakura!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo 62,000 words and 32 chapters, despite receiving stupid yaoi hating comments :D
> 
> Yes I am back with another chapter that seems to have been eagerly awaited (sorry for the previous cliffy :p).
> 
> This scene is long but I wanted to get it right, and I hope you feel that I have done so and that the emotions are believable. Sorry if you disagree but I did do my research and tried to get this down as best as I could without having experienced Kakashi’s trauma myself. The description of what he is doing is based on personal experience and I think we can all relate to being in a similar state at some point… 
> 
> By the way, did anyone watch Naruto The Last? All I can say is that I was quite disappointed. Kinda felt like the plot was a bit lame and written by some NaruHina shippers- not complaining about the pairing as I actually like it, but the plot left much to be desired and seemed to have little substance in my opinion. Anyway I digress!

Sakura had been apprehensive about barging into the home of her former sensei unannounced, but she put her wariness to the back of her mind. Most likely she would just startle him whilst he was treating his injuries. 

What she didn’t expect to find, as she used her strength to force open his window and step through to his open plan living area, was to find Kakashi kneeling on the floor, back against the front door…crying?

And this wasn’t just any crying. This was despairing, heaving, breathless crying. The kind of crying that sucked the air from your lungs, shook your body and left you feeling dehydrated and dizzy. They were the cries of one who felt entirely powerless, like there was no hope left.

This was not dignified crying, not reserved silent tears. It was loud, agonising and heart wrenching. The sort of crying when complete tragedy had befallen one, like when a parent, child or spouse suddenly died, or when one had been betrayed by a lover or best friend. This was not how one of the students of the great Hatake Kakashi would ever expect to find him: completely broken and despairing, having given into such overwhelming tears.

Somehow the loud cries didn’t prevent Kakashi from hearing the forced entry; without looking up, he kept his eyes shut and gulped, saying “S- Sasuke-sama… no more today… please.” After all, who else would force their way into his apartment? Kakashi had hoped the raven would leave him alone after the brutal and painful treatment he had received already. Sasuke may have stretched him with his ‘punishment’, but he hadn’t bothered to use any lube when he took him on the desk, leaving Kakashi sore and bleeding. Kakashi didn’t open his eyes when he heard the intruder because Sasuke had already stolen everything from him, and now with him seeing his tears he had lost his last once of dignity. He didn’t want to see his smug face observing his pitiful state. 

He was pathetic, a useless, weak excuse for a shinobi who had failed to protect himself and his friends again. He despised himself. He deserved to be treated this way by Sasuke if this was all he could amount to… if he was someone who couldn’t save his comrades or friends.

At the sound of the shocked gasp of a female, Kakashi glanced up, but still couldn’t control his breathing. 

Seeing his friend and former student before him, he tried to calm himself down, clutching his chest, but seeing her reaction frightened him even more and he went into a panic: Sakura seeing him like this, seeing what had been done to him could not mean anything good. She stood there staring in horror, her hands over her mouth, pale and still.  
“Don’t look at me!” Kakashi shouted. He still had one hand on his chest and held the other out in a stop sign. Sakura remained frozen in shock. “Just- just go!”

Hearing him order her like that finally drove her into action. She was a medical shinobi after all, so it took a lot to phase her. It wasn’t what she saw, but who she saw it happening to that had momentarily riled her. And that name… Sasuke… Kakashi had said it clearly enough, _no more today_ \- had Sasuke really done this to Kakashi? And had Kakashi really pleaded with him? Kakashi never pleaded with anyone. What the hell had Sasuke done to Kakashi for him to be behaving so… so unlike himself, to be so completely broken? A sick sense of dread was forming in the pit of Sakura’s stomach, but she couldn’t dwell on that now. Now it was time to help her friend.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” she said calmly, moving slowly towards him. She didn’t want to panic him any more. “I’m going to help you.”

“N- no! No!” Kakashi choked out, his mouth so dry he could barely speak. He felt disorientated. “Go! Leave me, please.” All he knew was that he didn’t want Sakura here, he didn’t want her to witness his shame, to learn the truth. He had to get rid of her, but he felt like he couldn’t breathe and his chest hurt. He couldn’t stop the rising fear now that Sakura had seen him in such a state and what this would mean for them both.

“I need you to calm down, Kakashi,” Sakura said, ignoring his words and going into medical mode. If she detached her personal feelings from the situation and forced herself to think only in terms of doctor- client, then she could handle this much more efficiently. “Take deep breaths for me; that’s right, slowly and deeply.”

Despite his wanting her to leave, Kakashi knew there was no chance of her doing so if he couldn’t even speak, so he tried to do as she said, but it was difficult whenever he thought of her being the one to help him. He would rather it be a stranger. 

Sakura knew that her behaviour had to be predictable, and her sentences simple so Kakashi didn’t miss what was happening and go into another panic. 

“Excellent Kakashi, keeping going. Just concentrate on your breathing.” She kept her hands raised as she moved forwards in an open and honest gesture. “You can do this, Kakashi, I’m here.”

As she kneeled in front of him she slowly and firmly grasped his hand. “OK count backwards from 10 with me.” 

Despite being in such a state Kakashi still managed to throw her a look. He hated being spoken to like a child.

Sakura smiled bitterly at his look. He was still Kakashi after all. “Trust me,” was all she added.

He did.

Soon, after giving in and letting her take control, he followed her instruction and his breathing returned to normal, his tears dried; but he could not rid himself of the feeling of overwhelming shame for her to have seen him like his. He felt anxious about the questions this would raise.

“Good work, Kakashi,” she said, still in nurse mode. “I think it’s time I took a look at your wounds.”

Kakashi started to fluster again.

“I don’t know what-”

“Oh cut the bull shit Kakashi, I’m a medic and it’s obvious. Your mask doesn’t even cover your bruises.”

She helped him to his feet and Kakashi moved towards the sofa. “See, you can’t even walk properly- you’re limping! Now sit down and let me do my job.” She had been so close to demanding an explanation, but managed to hold it in for the moment. She didn’t want him to start resisting her again. Soon though, she would have to ask if she were to treat him effectively.

Kakashi considered running away or using a replacement jutsu to escape, but thought better of it; he was too weak and she would catch him instantly, making the situation worse. After all, she was right that it hurt to walk, courtesy of Sasuke’s rough treatment.

Instead he sat down while she prepared some things in the kitchen: a bowl of warm water, towels, some disinfectant, bandages, a glass of water and some food pills to help replenish his chakra.

As Sakura had come straight from work, she was wearing her jonin uniform (as the medical leader she had been granted jonin status before travelling to the other villages) and had her pouch of emergency supplies. From this she pulled out some doctor’s gloves. Letting them snap into place she said matter of fact, “Right, clothes off.”

Kakashi snorted. “I don’t think so.”

“Doctor’s orders, Hatake,” she smiled as she said it, trying to seem light hearted, but actually distancing herself from him at the same time. She hoped this would make things easier for him if he was gently reminded that this was her profession and they could keep it on that basis.

“Fine- but only my shirt. I keep my mask and trousers.”

“We’ll see.”

Kakashi removed his shirt and vest but kept the material of the mask in place. Sakura couldn’t hide her surprise that he had sustained such wounds and wondered how he had gained them. She got to work on patching his up, checking for any broken bones or ribs. Thankfully there were none.

As she worked and Kakashi became less tense she began the conversation that was inevitable. “So, are you gonna tell me?”

“Nope.”

“And if this were the other way round, would you accept that answer from me?”

Kakashi smiled bitterly. “No.”

“Then get on with it and tell me what happened.”

“I got into a fight, obviously.”

“Who with?”

Kakashi remained silent for a moment and looked away.

“It doesn’t matter,” he finally said.

Sakura stopped what she was doing and looked into his face. “It was Sasuke, wasn’t it?”

Kakashi still wouldn’t look at her, but he closed his eyes, as if the mere mention of their former team mate’s name was painful to him. 

“No, of course-”

Sakura let go of Kakashi and slammed a hand down on the coffee table in frustration; she didn’t mean to startle him, but she could bare the emotionless medic façade no longer. “Don’t lie to me, Kakashi. I’m not a naïve little girl anymore. I know more than you give me credit for.”

Kakashi sighed but kept his eyes averted. “I wasn’t doubting you…”

“Then treat me like an adult, a comrade, and trust me.” This made Kakashi turn to meet her gaze. Her green eyes were full of honest emotion. He didn’t know what to say, he had not meant to hurt her with his lies, only to protect her from the painful truth. She had loved Sasuke once after all.

“I can’t stand seeing you like this,” Sakura continued. “Now do me the courtesy of answering my question properly: was it Sasuke who did this to you?”

Kakashi took a breath. “Yes.” It was barely more than a whisper.

She held her breath. “Has this happened before?”

“…yes.”

Sakura felt angry, upset, but she would control her emotions and prove to Kakashi that she was a worthy confident and not an emotional teenager. “So that time… that you were bruised and you said you had been training with Gai…”

“I lied,” Kakashi whispered, ashamed of himself.

“Oh, Kakashi,” she gushed. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Worry me?! Kakashi this is much more important than my being worried. He can’t keep doing this to you!”

“It won’t happen again.”

“Oh, and you can promise that can you?” she demanded sarcastically.

“Look, I won’t… I won’t fight him anymore.”

Sakura clutched her hands. “So your only option is to become a human punch bag?! Why is he doing this to you anyway?!”

Kakashi really didn’t want to go into that. “I don’t know… but if I just obey his orders it won’t happen again.”

“You have been challenging him- is this about Yamato-Taichou?”

Kakashi hesitated. “Today it was.” His answer was ambiguous enough to allow him to hide the truth without directly lying. It seemed to satisfy her for now anyway.

She got back to work finishing off his upper body, tutting at the bruises and scratches. After she tapped his shin. “The sandals and bandages can go.”

Kakashi hadn’t even realised that he had his shoes on in the house, very unlike him. “OK, but just those.”

This aroused Sakura’s suspicions. “You should at least remove your trousers Kakashi, I need to heal you. You can keep your underwear. I attend to men all the time at the hospital.”

“No.” He shifted suddenly in discomfort and the sudden movement caused Sakura slip forwards, placing a hand on Kakashi’s thigh to steady herself. This made Kakashi panic again.

“I said no, Sakura, just leave it!” He jumped up and shoved her away and she fell off the couch onto the floor. She looked up at him in shock.

Kakashi, realising his mistake, his complete over reaction, panicked even more. “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry-”

Sakura stood up as Kakashi backed away from her looking ashamed.

“Kakashi,” she said slowly. “I think there is more to all this than you are saying. I think you had better tell me.”

“It’s nothing- really, I-”

But Kakashi’s skin was pink, he was sweating with nerves, and refusing to make eye contact. Sakura noticed that Kakashi’s movements lacked his usual lazy fluidity; they were now jerky, and he sat in a hunched position rather than being stretched out lazily. His arms and legs were pulled inwards, and he winced in pain when he had shuffled back on the sofa as if he had pain in his lower back or-

No.

No, it couldn’t be.

No…

Not this. Anything but this…

Surely he couldn’t…

Sakura herself was trying not to panic now when she thought back to Kakashi’s limping. Why hadn’t she noticed the signs?! Had her summon noticed? Is that why she had brought Sakura here to treat Kakashi herself, because she suspected?

Sakura was trying not to panic herself now though she felt sick to her core. In a way she wished the thought had never even entered her mind, but she had to be strong for Kakashi’s sake. According to her medical training he was displaying many of the signs of being a… victim. 

She felt like running away and crying. But she didn’t. She stayed. It took everything she had to ask this. She just hoped that somehow, she was wrong. Yet somehow all the pieces were starting to come together, as much as she didn’t want to see it, how it twisted her stomach.

“Kakashi… did he… have you been…” the last word was barely audible. “Raped?”

Kakashi couldn’t even look at her let alone answer such a question. He simply put his head in his knees, his arms tightly around him, blocking out her question. But she she wouldn’t let him ignore it and put his head in the sand any longer.

“Kakashi… please, it’s not your fault… I just need to know…”

Kakashi tried to shake his head without lifting it to meet her gaze, to deny all knowledge of what had happened and the situation he was now in. Tears leaked from Sakura’s eyes at seeing her strong sensei in such a position.

Sakura stood up, calling his bluff. She knew it was harsh of her but she had to get a reaction from him somehow, she had to get the truth and get him to open up, this just wasn’t healthy for him to ignore. His mental health would suffer if he stayed in denial, if he kept pretending.

As she stood moved towards the door, Kakashi finally looked up. “Where are you going?” he called. 

“If you won’t tell me the truth then I will ask Sasuke.”

“NO!” Kakashi practically threw himself from the sofa, his eyes wide with panic. “Don’t approach him, don’t go anywhere near him! Do you understand me?”

Sakura was taken aback by Kakashi’s change to suddenly commanding her. His fear of Sasuke was all too evident. “Alright then, but answer my question.”

Kakashi stood, frozen, his mind battling internally on what to say to get out of this situation. Finally he settled on the truth, but only on his own terms.

“You have to swear,” he began. “Swear that you will not speak a word of this to anyone; especially not Sasuke.”

“But someone needs to confront-”

“Swear to me now Sakura, or by Kami I will never forgive you or myself-”

“OK, OK, just calm down. I won’t speak a word of this to Sasuke.”

“Or anyone else, particularly Gai.”

“What does Gai have to do with-”

“Just promise me?”

Sakura sighed. “OK. What you have to say won’t leave these walls, you can trust me.”

Kakashi nodded. “You know any confrontation with Sasuke would be useless. He is far more powerful than both of us. If you got involved it would only make my life more of a hell than it already is… it would be unbearable if something were to happen to you as well. I couldn’t live with myself…And besides,” he said, his voice becoming more gentle. “I promised Naruto I would protect you.”

Sakura’s eyes watered at the memory of Naruto… it was only after his death that she realised her love for him. Too little too late, she thought bitterly. But now she would be here for Kakashi, and she would not make the mistake of taking him for granted also.

“I know. But I just want you to know that I wish to protect you also…”

“I understand, Sakura… but you can’t. No one can protect me from him. He is too powerful.”

Sakura took a breath. “So it’s true then?”

Kakashi closed his eyes and sank onto the sofa again so that he would not have to see her reaction. He winced with the pain of sitting. “Yes.”

Now it was Sakura’s turn to cry. She wanted to be strong, she wanted to hold it in- after all Kakashi had stopped crying so why should she?

Kakashi seemed to sense her emotions after knowing her so long. “I appreciate your trying Sakura, but you don’t have to put on a brave face for me. I told you before there is no shame in crying for a friend. I just wish that I were so pathetic and weak to have allowed this to happen so that you should have to cry for-”

“No! Don’t you dare give me that! You will not blame yourself for what he has done. You are anything but weak, you have endured all this time. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is not your fault, Kakashi. Do you hear me- this is not your fault.”

And with that they both allowed the tears to fall, as Sakura moved to hold and support him as he finally began to confide in her fully. Occasionally she interjected to remind him that, “This is not your fault Kakashi. You do not deserve any of this.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello! Hope you are all well. Apologies for emotional roller coaster that was the previous chapter *sniff sniff*
> 
> Apologies for any typos... it's late here and I am way too tired to do a decent proofread, but I know you have all been waiting a while so... voila!

Sakura had stayed with Kakashi that night, listening to him, crying with him, wishing there was a way she could truly comfort him somehow: but there wasn’t. There never would be. Even if Sasuke stopped now, the damage was done; Kakashi’s pride was shattered, his confidence gone, his skin stained with shame. Sakura was a medic and she knew better: Kakashi would never truly recover. He would always be haunted by what had happened to him.

Just like Kakashi, Sakura slept badly that night. However Kakashi’s weariness at least enabled him to drift off now and again; Sakura’s eyes were wide open most of the night. 

She just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Her mind swirled with unanswered questions, the foremost being, _why_? Why would Sasuke do this? 

And some moments (she was ashamed of her own thoughts), she wondered _did_ Sasuke really do this? Then she shook herself from these thoughts. Kakashi wasn’t a lair. It was just that she found it so hard to believe that Sasuke was really capable of this. _Sasuke_. A boy she used to think of as _her Sasuke _.__

__It really was hard to come to terms with the fact that he was the one who had done this to Kakashi. That he had _raped_ their sensei. The bond between student and teacher was precious, and she couldn’t believe Sasuke would completely cross the line like that, would force himself on someone. And Kakashi of all people, a man, an older man, his former sensei… _why_?_ _

__Sakura shuddered. Could this be about humiliation… was Sasuke trying to punish Kakashi with the ultimate shame? Was he just trying to prove a point? If so, what? Did he really enjoy hurting their sensei like that? Had Kakashi done anything to warrant such violence from Sasuke (in Sasuke’s opinion)? If so, what?_ _

__Was Sasuke just being cruel for the sake of cruelty, or was there more to it? Would he continue to do this to Kakashi?_ _

__And how on earth would she stop it?_ _

__That last question was perhaps the hardest of all. How would she save Kakashi, protect him? Could Sasuke be made to see sense? Could he be reasoned with? Somehow Sakura didn’t think so. And with her promise not to say anything about it to her former team mate, or anyone, how would she do that?_ _

__And then there was the mention of Gai-sensei- what on earth did he have to do with this? Did he know? She didn’t think so… but Kakashi seemed to be protecting him from something… or someone. Although judging by Gai’s nature, and his fondness of his ‘rival’, he would instantly confront Sasuke if he had any reason to believe he was hurting him, Hokage or not. Gai was a brave man. Stupidly brave; there was no way he could defeat Sasuke, especially without the gates. And Sasuke could not be reasoned with, not even by Naruto… and look what happened when Naruto tried…_ _

__Tears sprang to her eyes once more… _Naruto_ …_ _

__No, Kakashi was right: Gai must not know. She couldn’t bear to lose the only positive energy they had in their group either. And if something happened to Gai, what about Lee… losing Neji and Gai would just be too much for him. It would be too much for Kakashi as well._ _

__The only good thing to come out of this had been Yamato’s promised return; but that joy had been overshadowed by tragedy. She hoped that she could at least help their old friend to have a new start… though it would be tainted with Anko’s dark future. Sakura wished she could just be happy for Yamato, but with all she had discovered, her happiness was short lived._ _

__The more she remembered the pain and deaths of her friends, the angrier she became with Sasuke, and the more her resolve grew to do something about this. To end Kakashi’s pain._ _

__With this resolve, one last question came to her that night: _how_?_ _

__

__***_ _

__

__Morning somehow came too soon, but not soon enough. Neither Kakashi or Sakura could bear their night’s contemplations anymore, yet they didn’t want to face what the morning would bring either. Sakura made a light breakfast of tofu miso soup and a little rice- neither of them really felt like eating, but Sakura knew it was important that Kakashi eat something after what had happened, he was skinny, way too skinny. She knew that she would also need her strength for what lay ahead._ _

__For she had finally come to a decision._ _

__When the moment came for Sakura and Kakashi to part ways, it was awkward, neither knowing what to say or how to comfort the other. Sakura was the one to try to break the tension._ _

__“Good luck today, Kakashi. Remember, if you need me, you know where to find me. Come to me anytime, if you need a medic, or even just to talk. I’m here for you.”_ _

__Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder. “Sakura-chan, thank you. And remember-”_ _

__“Yeah, I know,” Sakura said bitterly, anticipating what Kakashi was worried about. “’Don’t tell anyone.’”_ _

__

__***_ _

__

__Gai was up bright and early for some morning training before he met his wonderful students. It was important for him to keep in pinnacle condition; after all, he didn’t want the students overcoming the master! Unless of course it was his precious Rock Lee. What a fine young man (and handsome!) he had grown to be. Gai was so proud._ _

__Another reason for Gai’s training (other than to keep pushing his youth) was to find strength without the gates. It wasn’t until he had lost them that he realised just how much he relied on them; just like Kakashi and his sharingan._ _

___Kakashi_ …_ _

__There was also the task of keeping busy and distracting himself from thoughts of the silver haired beauty that filled his dreams. He longed for him. Even just to be in his presence. But Kakashi’s reaction last time had been so heart wrenching for him that he decided to keep his distance for a bit. He would muster up the resolve to approach Kakashi again, once he had some space. He was his eternal rival, after all._ _

__The truth was that after laying his hearth and passions on the line like that, Gai also needed space. He needed time to recover, to lick his wounds; not that Gai was a sulker or cynical, but he still had feelings and pride like anyone else. And when Kakashi pushed him away like that, it hurt. It hurt the first time, all those years ago, and it hurt just as much this time._ _

__But that wouldn’t stop the Green Beast. Kakashi would not get rid of him that easily. When Kakashi returned that kiss in his unguarded moment, Gai knew that the Hatake returned his feelings. After all Kakashi had never dated anyone else or had a serious relationship. And that had to mean something. Gai was sure of it._ _

__It was Gai finished his handstand ups on his fingertips, that he felt the presence of another chakra approaching him._ _

__He dropped to the ground and turned to greet the new arrival._ _

__“Good Morning! What brings you here on this fine day?”_ _

__“I… I needed to speak with you. Privately.”_ _

__Gai beckoned with his arm. “Of course, Sakura-chan. What can I do for you?”_ _

__“I’m sorry to ask, Gai-sensei as I know you are also busy-”_ _

__“I’m never too busy for the student of my eternal rival. How is Kakashi?” Gai tried to keep his voice casual as he asked, not wanting Sakura to suspect anything had happened between the, Few people knew or believed that Gai could be discreet, and that is what made him a good ninja._ _

__“He’s fine,” Sakura said quickly, before her expressions betrayed her. “But what I am about to ask you, I would rather he didn’t know about.”_ _

__Gai raised an eyebrow here. He didn’t like hiding things from Kakashi- not when it came to his students anyway._ _

__“I mean, Kakashi has a lot going on right now, especially with Yamato-taichou’s return from imprisonment.”_ _

__“What?” Gai hadn’t heard anything about this. He had never really got on with Yamato, but he hated to think of one of Kakashi’s friends suffering._ _

__“Yes,” Sakura’s face darkened, but she was glad she had distracted Gai from the topic of Kakashi. “He was being held and tortured by Orochimaru. Kakashi’s been preoccupied with that. But that isn’t what I came here to discuss…”_ _

__Gai nodded solemnly. “Go on.”_ _

__“Before I say anymore, I need you to promise me something.”_ _

__If the conversation hadn’t been so serious, Gai would have laughed happily at her demanding tone, like a real go-getting business woman. He had always like Sakura, it was a shame it never worked out with her and Lee._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“I need you to promise that you won’t ever mention that I was here, that I asked this. I need to know that you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Especially Kakashi-sensei. He can’t know I was here.”_ _

__Gai frowned. He really didn’t like where this was going. If one of his student’s went to Kakashi with a problem, he would want to know about it. But then again, as a teacher it was his duty to act as a confident, regardless of his personal feelings and loyalties._ _

__But then, maybe Kakashi not knowing was for his own good. Maybe it had something to do with Yamato and Orochimaru. It was best not to worry Kakashi unless he had to._ _

__“I won’t lie to you, Sakura, I do not like this. But I agree to your terms.”_ _

__“Thank you,” she sighed, relieved._ _

__“So what is it you ask of me that no one can know about?”_ _

__“Gai-sensei… I need you to train me.”_ _

__“Train you? Why, Sakura-chan, you are already an elite medical shinobi and jonin- your new title outranks even me and Kakashi!”_ _

__“It is something specific I need to learn, and you are the teacher most suited to the task, given your rivalry with my sensei.”_ _

__Gai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “What do you need to learn?”_ _

__“How to fight the sharingan.”_ _

__Gai nearly gasped with shock, but managed to hold it in. He could be deadly serious when a situation called for it. He frowned at Sakura sternly. Was this really a good idea? What did she need it for? Kakashi no longer had a sharingan for her to practice with, so admittedly, he was her best option after years of training with Kakashi. It wasn’t so much the keeping it a secret and the training itself he was reluctant to, but the reasons behind it. Reasons he didn’t know. Potentially dangerous reasons._ _

__After all, there was only one person with the sharingan left._ _

__“A challenging pursuit. What is your sudden motivation for this, Sakura?”_ _

__“I can’t tell you that sensei. Let’s just say it is best to be prepared for any situation.”_ _

__Gai folded his arms, thinking. “If you aren’t honest with me Sakura-chan, why should I help you?_ _

__“Because if it ever comes to it, these skills may be needed. I won’t say anymore sensei, I have not set plans. I just want to be able to protect my friends and the people of this village if I have to.”_ _

__Closing his eyes, Gai remained thoughtful for a few moments. He wanted to make the right choice for this young girl, for Kakashi’s student. But what if she was planning something stupid. After all, he had just learnt that Sasuke had allowed Yamato to be imprisoned, tortured… and as if she needed any more motivation after Naruto and Tsunade’s deaths. That alone was enough the fan the flames of revenge._ _

__“OK Sakura, you asked a promise of me, and know I ask one of you in return.” Sakura motioned for him to continue. “If I do this, then you will be responsible and won’t make any rash decisions. You will only use my training if you feel you have no other choice.”_ _

__Sakura hesitated. Then she decided. She was nowhere near ready anyway._ _

__“Agreed.”_ _

__“Alright then,” Gai unfolded his arms and looked her in the eyes determinedly. “Then I accept the honour of being your sensei. Just be warned, my training is rigorous and I won’t go easy on you because you’re my rival’s precious student._ _

__“Thank you, Gai-sensei.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hope you enjoyed Gai's return here :)


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone continuing to read and leave comments / suggestions... and sorry for more Kakashi abuse... and for another cliff hanger - ha!
> 
> So warnings include poor proofreading by the author (mowar coffee needed bleh....) dubcon... Sasuke being a douche... other characters also being a douche... Kakashi angst... and a cliff hanger- although I am sure some of you will rejoice at the turn this take (a little bit anyway)

Kakashi was weary and emotionally exhausted as he woke that morning, having slept badly again. As he had curled up in his bed, even knowing Sakura slept just outside on the sofa did little to bring him comfort. His wounds from the fight had been tended to, but Kakashi had not let Sakura anywhere near his other injuries. The muscled ring of his anus ached uncomfortably from his first experience of fisting. He could only hope it was something Sasuke wouldn’t be interested in repeating.

For before Kakashi had even closed his eyes in search of sleep, he had resolved to obey Sasuke from now on; he was too tired to resist. Besides, Sakura knew now, and she would worry and fret if he came back with any new injuries; it was best to do just as Sasuke wished, for everyone’s sake. He wasn’t so interested in protected himself, as he was in protecting his friends. Sakura, Tenzo, Gai, their safety depended on his actions. He felt weak and ashamed, but Sasuke was just too strong, too demanding and he couldn’t let go of his bitterness from the past. Yet it seemed there was no reasoning with him.

Kakashi had promised Sakura that what she had seen last night wouldn’t happen again, so he would do his best to keep that promise, even if the girl hated the alternative of obeying Sasuke’s whims just as much as he did. It had to be done.

The truth was, what worried Kakashi most, was not what Sasuke would do to him- he had already pretty much taken everything that possessive sadist could throw at him- no, what worried him most was the chance that Sakura might let slip what was happening to him, or that she would confront Sasuke herself. Could he really trust her with something like this? She had never been one for keeping secrets. Could she be discreet and bear her sensei’s shame?

And could she prevent Kakashi’s comrades, his friends from finding out. Especially Gai… 

As much as Kakashi tried to suppress his feelings for Gai (something he had had years of practice with but grew harder as the years went by), he couldn’t pretend that Gai being hurt or even killed by Sasuke wouldn’t completely devastate him. 

At the moment, Kakashi only lived for the handful of friends he had left; Sakura, Gai, Tenzo, Gai’s remaining students, and Iruka. What would Naruto think of him if he ever let something happen to Iruka?

So as Kakashi faced the morning light, he knew what needed to be done and resigned himself to it.

With a stiff goodbye to Sakura, who was also occupied with her own thoughts it seemed, he left his home with purpose. Yet with each step he took to the Hokage tower, the greater the feeling of dread bubbling up from his stomach.

He trudged towards the Hokage office, hands in his pockets as usual, as if nothing had happened. Only someone paying careful attention to him would be able to discern the muscles tensed in the apparent slouch, the slight limp.

When he passed Karin’s reception desk outside the Hokage’s office, she called after him “Well, it seems ignorance is bliss after all, eh Hatake? Your little confrontation riled him right up- I wouldn’t be surprised if he cancels the order to save your friend after all.”

Kakashi’s hands clenched, as if itching to reach for her pretty little neck again, but he managed to take a breath and keep walking. He didn’t want to give the bitch the satisfaction of getting another reaction out of him like yesterday. He was sure that if he simply ignored her, she would tire of her malicious jeering.

The first thing Kakashi noticed when he entered Sasuke’s office, was the crack in the wall from the previous day. Sasuke hadn’t even bothered ordering someone to sort it. The man himself was slouched over some paperwork but he looked up as Kakashi entered, his dark hair glistening in the early sunlight. 

“Kakashi,” he said, without much enthusiasm. “I wondered if you’d drag yourself back here after your display yesterday. I see my little ah, reprimand did the trick.”

Kakashi said nothing but watched Sasuke with no expression, as if bored. It was true that he was no match for Sasuke and would submit to him, but he would be damned if he played his little games so willingly. Not that Sasuke seemed to care, he apparently enjoyed teasing Kakashi regardless.

“Well? Don’t you have something to say to me? I was hoping after yesterday’s activities, and a good night’s sleep, you’d have come to your senses. Don’t you owe me something Kakashi?”

“I am grateful that you saved Tenzo, but I won’t say what you want- after all, I have already paid for him.”

Sasuke frowned. He knew Kakashi was stubborn, but did he have to be so ungrateful, so difficult? Maybe he shouldn’t have even bothered saving the wood user after all… at least then he could have saved face with the snake and his freak Kabuto.

“If that’s going to be your attitude, I think more. I think you are forgetting who gives the orders round here, Kakashi. If you don’t want a repeat of yesterday, I suggest you be a little more cooperative.” Those unnerving eyes watched the silver haired man thoughtfully. Kakashi could only imagine where this conversation was going…

“Prove your submission to me; play with yourself.”

Kakashi schooled his features not to react, as he unenthusiastically, almost lazily, unzipped his trousers. The only thing that gave his true feelings away, was the slight tremble of his pale hands and the light sheen of sweat forming on his skin. There was no denying that Kakashi had grown to fear the Uchiha that caused him so much pain, that had brought so much misery to what could have been a happier existence for him… they had been so close to achieving peace after Kaguya’s defeat…

So Kakashi did what Sasuke commanded- or he tried to. But no matter how he the stroked- hard, fast, soft, slow, teasingly- he couldn’t get his anatomy to comply. He remained limp under Sasuke’s frustrated gaze.

“Enough. This is a waste of time,” he huffed, and tilted back in his chair. He wanted to get things back on track with Kakashi after the mess left yesterday thanks to Orochimaru. He needed to push things forwards with Kakashi for him to be truly his, not let what he had achieved regress. Suddenly the Uchiha brightened as a new idea struck him. “Get the rest of your clothes, then get on your hands and knees. I have a treat for you, Kakashi.”

Kakashi did as he was told, assuming that Sasuke would take him from behind again. Yet the look in his eyes had Kakashi worried.

He felt Sasuke move behind him, also on his knees, and then almost jumped when he felt the Uchiha’s warm breath on his pale cheeks. Kakashi’s knuckles were white with tension as he awaited whatever new horror the Hokage had in store for him.

And then it came. Sasuke pulled his cheeks apart and moved his face towards Kakashi’s most private area. Kakashi felt his breath on his hole, making it tingle for a moment, before a wet tongue shot forwards and licked around the ring teasingly before pushing inside. 

Despite his resolve to be a silent participant in Sasuke’s games, Kakashi gasped. He was surprised at such an act, it was so much more intimate than anything he had felt before, and he hated it. He didn’t want Sasuke there, tasting him, being so… close. Everything about this felt wrong. He felt the bile rise in his throat and the sting of his abused ring that hadn’t fully recovered (there was no way he letting Sakura heal there, one student seeing him so weak, so vulnerable, was traumatic enough for him).

On and on it seemed to go, to Kakashi’s disgust. Sasuke’s tongue swirled around him, thrusted in and out in a way showed his what was to come after. Kakashi wished he would hurry up. He would prefer Sasuke just fucking him again to this. It just felt so invasive. Sasuke must have had an idea of how he felt too, as he had to use his hands to hold Kakashi’s hips in place as he unconsciously moved them away from the source of shame.

When Sasuke finally was done, he pulled back leisurely and flipped Kakashi over onto his back. 

“You taste good, sensei,” he said in a deep tone, a satisfied smile in place as he crawled between Kakashi’s long legs and released his achingly hard erection from its confines, lining himself up with that now glistening hole.

Kakashi closed his eyes and repressed a shudder. It would be over soon… until next time. He would just learn to accept his role in Sasuke’s world as he had done previously, but now with renewed resignation now that Sakura knew. This was his life now. It always surprised Kakashi what a shinobi could live through.

 

***

 

Another week passed, with Kakashi’s routine continuing, and Sakura determinedly finding time for her new training regime in between her long, long shifts at the hospital. It was in the middle of the night that a chakra approached the home of the Hokage, who naturally had sensed it and was up in moments as the wards around his home were triggered.   
He quickly shoved on a casual yukata, and answered the door, as the uninvited guest lingered in front, knowing and relishing that his presence would cause such a stir.

Kabuto smiled that creepy, eerie smirk at him. In arms he held a drity, ragged bundle “Delivery!” he chirped, pleased with himself as he dropped it into Sasuke’s hands. “From Orochimaru-sama with love… now I will just pick up our own little package before heading back to Suna. A quick dose should make our new guest come quietly,” he sang, waving a syringe around and laughing as he disappeared. 

In his surprise, Sasuke hadn’t said anything. His shock grew as the dirty bundle made a noise.

A moan. A weak, delirious moan.

Sasuke almost dropped it. With a glance around his garden, he turned and headed inside, now realising just what – or who – it was that had been dumped in his arms.  
As usual, his team were gathered behind him. Jugo looked solemn, Karin anxious and expectant, and Suigetsu was anticipating the latest drama- who knew working with a Hokage could be so interesting. 

“Get Kakashi,” Sasuke barked at them. “And Karin, run a hot bath. The smell is revolting.”


	35. Chapter 35

Kakashi sat in front of a cup of jasmine tea which had long gone cold, lost in his thoughts and self-loathing. The intimate act Sasuke had performed left him recoiling in his self-disgust. He was no better than a whore. But if that’s what he had to do to protect his friends, then he would endure. Maybe one day Sasuke would tire of him. Kakashi felt so battered and worn in his years as a shinobi, he didn’t see why his ex-student wouldn’t grow bored of him eventually.

It was then that a loud and slow knock came from the front door. He hadn’t even felt anyone approaching. With only a moment’s delay as his face scrunched up in worry, he moved awkwardly to the door still sore from his more intimate injuries- if Sasuke carried on using his body this way they wouldn’t heal properly any time soon.

When he pulled his door back slightly, just enough to see who was outside, Kakashi blinked in surprise and opened his door fully, beckoning the young man inside. Kakashi had not expected him, but he knew he couldn’t be bringing him any good news.

The broad figure moved inside gratefully, but didn’t remove his rain cloak. He did however pull his hood down, revealing the shock of orange hair.

“Kakashi-san,” Juugo greeted politely but seriously, noting the jonin’s slim figure now he wasn’t wearing his flak jacket. He was sorry to be the one to break the news, but it was better than one of the others. “Sorry to disturb you, but this is urgent.”

“It’s OK,” Kakashi said, waiting for him to continue. Kakashi of course found all of Team Taka hard work, but Juugo only because he was so respectful and grounded that Kakashi didn’t understand how or why he was a part of the team. The young man was somewhat of a mystery to him. It was clear why Sasuke kept him around, and he had heard that the ginger man was unstable and was often referred to as ‘Juugo of the scales’ because you never knew when he would lose balance. He had also heard that he follows Sasuke blindly and never questioned his judgement or a direct order from his leader.

“There is no easy way to say this; it concerns your friend, the wood user.”

Kakashi gasped. “Tenzo!” His eyes grew wide and his skin drained of colour. “What’s happened? Is he alive? Did Orochimaru do anything to him?”

“I- I don’t know. Kabuto brought him to Sasuke and then I came to find you immediately. From what I saw there were no immediate wounds.”

Yet that did nothing to calm the silver haired man. He reached for his flak jacket, boots and a simple umbrella. Despite the gravity of the situation, Juugo couldn’t help but regret that Kakashi was about to cover himself in the bulky uniform again.

“Let’s go,” Kakashi said when he was ready. Juugo didn’t hesitate, he could see the need in Kakashi’s eyes.

When Kakashi turned to lock his door, he paused and closed his eyes, silently praying that Tenzo was OK and wouldn’t hate him for abandoning him to Orochimaru. It was then that he felt a big hand on his shoulder. “Please don’t fret, Kakashi-san. Your friend has been returned and will be safe now. It is a good thing.”

“Not so good for Anko though,” Kakashi said, his voice barely above a whisper, still facing the door. The warm hand didn’t move from his shoulder. 

“You can’t protect everyone.”

“I should be able to protect my friends. I promised I would. Anko didn’t deserve-“

Kakashi was now leaning against his wooden door for support, fighting his tears back. He was emotionally and physically exhausted and he hadn’t even arrived at Sasuke’s yet not faced his suffering friend. He felt surprised when Juugo remained still, not hurrying him but giving him the opportunity to let it out.

“Kakashi, you are one man and it is too idealistic for you to hope to protect everyone you know all the time from any danger. You cannot protect everyone by yourself, just like Sasuke cannot solve all of the shinobi world’s problems by himself.”

Kakashi snapped out of his mourning at that comment, turning to face the orange haired man. “Criticising you leader?”

“I am merely stating a fact. It is one Sasuke is also aware of. Just like how he knew he could not keep the peace and save both the girl and the wood user.”

“And did he tell you that?” Kakashi asked with barely hidden sarcasm.

“It is something I observed myself.”

Kakashi huffed in irritation that was rising to anger.

“Why do you always defend him, follow him so blindly? You seem a smart man, can you not form your own opinion?”

“But that is my opinion,” Juugo said, willing himself to keep his cool lest something bad happen. He couldn’t give in to the rage in a populated village… he couldn’t do that again, all those lives, those civilians… “I believe that I am doing the right thing by aiding Sasuke to create a world free from conflict and strife. He has done many good things already in his short reign, and I feel that my place is at his side.”

“You surely can’t think everything he does is right? Look at Anko! None of this was right for her!”

“No one is perfect, you of all people should know that, Kakashi-san. Sasuke’s will is Kimimaru’s will, and I obey it. I will protect him, because he is all I have left. And besides, he keeps others safe… from me…”

Kakashi sighed, there was no reasoning with him. Such a strange contrast to his personality, he seemed so gentle and reserved and… almost cowardly in his current state, yet the ex-ANBU had heard that he could be destructively violent and bloodthirsty in his other form. In other words the prefect follower for Sasuke, someone who is quite and won’t question him, yet can turn into a raging fighting machine during battle. “Take me to Tenzo… I have to see him.”

Juugo nodded. His hand flexed as if he would comfort Kakashi again, but he thought better of it. “Follow me.”

As Kakashi fell in step beside him, Juugo couldn’t help but watch the slight limp. He was no fool and knew that it was the work of Sasuke. Evidently Sasuke’s attentions could be rough. The raging beast inside him would cheer such treatment, you had to take what you wanted in this world. But that was a side of Juugo he would not even entertain on the subject. 

What he would acknowledge though was that Kakashi very handsome despite him trying not to see this fact- he didn’t want to see what was not his to see. He was also a genius, thoughtful and talented, as well as supposedly a beauty beneath the mask. He could understand why Sasuke wanted him, and didn’t Sasuke deserve the best after all he had been through? If he could find some happiness in the arms of this man, didn’t that help make up for the heart break of Itachi? Yet Juugo couldn’t shake the guilt knowing at him, no matter how much he tried to reason in Sasuke’s favour. Didn’t beautiful things deserve to be treated with care? However he knew that Kakashi didn’t always obey Sasuke, so how else was his master supposed to keep Kakashi in check?

 

***

 

Kakashi was sweating as they drew close to Sasuke’s home, despite the use of the umbrella to keep him dry. He was nervous. Fearing that Tenzo was gravely injured, or even dying from his maltreatment. Scared that he would reject Kakashi’s help and be angry with Kakashi for abandoning him, for allow this to happen despite always saying that he will protect his friends. And scared that if Tenzo learnt what Kakashi had become, he would be disgusted with him, and resent just how Kakashi had saved him.

Kakashi’s legs slowed unconsciously as he fretted. Juugo turned back to him and said, “He is here now. All you can do now is be there for him, and help him move on.”

Kakashi nodded and took the final steps to the front door, which Karin swung open as they approached. 

“About time,” Karin snapped. “You’re the one that asked for him, and when he arrives you don’t even have the decency to take care of him yourself. He is filthy and starved, some friend you are.”

“Enough, Karin,” Sasuke ordered. “But she has a point, you did take your time.” Sasuke watched Kakashi suspiciously as he said this. 

“It is my fault, Sasuke-sama,” Juugo said. “Kakashi-san was in the middle of eating dinner when I arrived, and I insisted he finish before informing him of the reason for my visit. I just wanted him to be prepared, physically and mentally, for the situation…”

Sasuke considered this; he trusted Juugo, who had always been loyal to him. “Very well. I left him in the bathroom, Kakashi, Karin ran him a hot bath- trust me he needed it.”  
“Thank you,” Kakashi mumbled, his voice straining in his angst. He moved towards the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke demanded. 

“I have to see him.”

“Whilst he is bathing? Are you mad? Do you really think I’d allow you to go anywhere near a naked man?”

“I am going as a nurse only, you should be able to understand.” Kakashi said, trying not to raise his voice at Sasuke, as no good would come of it. He just had to see Tenzo alive for himself, hear his voice, attend any wounds. 

“You will wait till after he dresses. Suigetsu has gone to find him some spare clothes.”

Kakashi pursed his lips but said nothing else. He waited.

Sometime later, the bathroom door creaked opened slowly, as if the one behind it was unsure of himself. When hollow, watery and bloodshot brown eyes met grey, both froze as if time had stopped. 

It was him. It was really him. 

But not as Kakashi remembered.

Tenzo stood there, weak and pink from the hot batch, squinting as if he were still getting used to the light. He skin despite being clean now looked sunken somehow, as if it were too big for him. The clothes he had been given were loose on his bony figure- he had grown even thinner than Kakashi, and looked ill and drawn. His face was gaunt.  
Tears leaked from Kakashi’s eyes as they stood there watching one another. 

“Tenzo…” 

Kakashi’s voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“Is this a dream?” Tenzo croaked. He closed his eyes and shook his head, convinced this couldn’t be real.

“No… I’m sorry Tenzo. I’m so sorry I didn’t help you sooner.”


	36. Chapter 36

“You can’t be here… this is just another trick!” Yamato brought his hands up to his head and scrunched his face up as if in pain. “You’re not here. No one is here anymore. No one! Except _him_ …”

It wasn’t hard for Kakashi to work out who Yamato meant by ‘him’. What would prove to be hard though, was convincing him that he was here to help, after abandoning his friend to the snake this whole time. Kakashi felt like his heart might burst with the pain of seeing his friend like this.

“I am here, Tenzo. It’s really me. And you’re in Konoha, where you belong. You are safe in Konoha.”

“Konoha- that isn’t my home anymore. It doesn’t matter where I am, nowhere is safe. Nowhere. And you… you are not here… this is just another trick, a mind game! I won’t be fooled again!”

Yamato lunged at him, swiping his thin arms wide like a bear. Kakashi caught him just as Sasuke moved forwards to defend Kakashi.

“No! Don’t! Please he doesn’t mean it, he’s confused,” Kakashi pleaded.

“I don’t care; he will not try to harm you again, or he will regret it.”

“Sasuke, please… just give us some time alone? I can handle this.”

“I don’t see why you need to be alone.”

“Please. I need to reassure him. What if it were Itachi who needed comforting? Tenzo is like a brother to me… Nothing will happen, I promise. I know my place.”

Sasuke thought about that. He wasn’t comfortable with Kakashi being alone with this man who Kakashi seemed to care for so much, but the remark about Itachi brought a pang to his heart. He would not admit that to Kakashi though. 

And besides, he liked his sensei’s tone right now… it was so accepting, so submissive. Like he was his lover. Before he left Sasuke wanted to push just that little bit further. 

“And what is that?”

“I’m…” he glanced at Yamato quickly, who struggled then crumpled to his knees, clutching his head and moaning, not paying attention to what Kakashi was saying, clearly fighting whatever demons he had found in Orochimaru’s prison. “I’m yours.”

Sasuke smirked. “Very well. I shall leave you to it. But remember Kakashi, I won’t be far.”

“Understood.”

And with a final frown at Yamato, Sasuke left.

With his departure Kakashi could finally concentrate on the matter at hand, and knelt in front of his dear friend. “I am here Tenzo. I wasn’t before, but I am now. And it is time I will put things right. I won’t let you go back to suna again, I will die before I allow that to happen. You will be safe in with me and our remaining friends in this village.”

Tenzo cried out in anguish, shaking his head from side to side, eyes still closed. He was dragging his nails down the side of his own face, causing long red marks to appear.

Despite telling himself to be strong, Kakashi’s eyes leaked a few tears as he was faced with just pitiable his friend had become, because of him not bothering to lift a finger sooner. “Tenzo, please, look at me. Look at me.”

Slowly, the man began to calm down and eventually opened his eyes. His breathing was heavy, his almond eye’s wide.

“Kakashi… is that… is that really you? Senpai?”

“Yes, my friend. I’m sorry. For everything. But let me help you know.”

Yamato only watched him, trembling slightly from the emotion his tired body and mind were experiencing. His gaze was intense but also puzzled as he watched his old ANBU comrade. “Kakashi-senpai, never cries.”

“He does now. For his friends.”

Yamato only continued to watch him in silence.

“Will you let me help you?” Kakashi asked again, voice quiet but clear.

Yamato nodded slowly, as if unsure of what was happening. Then he reached out a hand felt Kakashi’s unruly hair, his pale face, stroked a thumb over the scar on his eye.  
“The sharingan-“

“Is gone. It was taken from me by Madara. Naruto…” Kakashi closed his eyes here and gulped, unable to stop more tears trickling from the corners of his matching eyes as he fought to overcome his moment of grief. He had to be strong for Tenzo. “Naruto healed me.”

Yamato considered asking more details, but he had heard of Naruto’s fate. Orochimaru and Kabuto had delighted in reminding him.

It was somehow the mention of the young hyperactive prodigy that snapped Yamato out of his suspicion and darker thoughts. Seeing the pain on Kakashi’s features… that was something that could not be faked… for he had seen that expression before, when Kakashi had stood before the memorial stone all those times in the past. He knew those tears were genuine. 

Yamato, after all he had been through, remained dry eyed, as he was beyond tears now. Instead he decided to distract Kakashi from his grief and get some answers for himself. He gestured to the luxurious living room they currently sat in.

“Senpai… how did you… what happened? Where is… is Orochimari-sama.”

Kakashi’s stomach clenched painfully at the honorific his kohai attached to that undeserving bastard’s name. When he pronounced the snake’s name, he did so with as much vehemence as he could, “Orochimaru is gone, back in suna. He can’t harm you here- not anymore.”

“But, but why? Why would he release me now?” Yamato looked at Kakashi with barely disguised suspicion.

Kakashi glanced away from his dark eyes. “The Hokage ordered your release.” He couldn’t bring himself to explain what really happened, Sasuke’s true motives, and the sacrificing of Anko for his release, it might destroy what was left of his friend.

“The Hoakge… that is Sasuke now? Why would he help me? And why now?”

Kakashi licked his lips, feeling uncomfortable with the questions Yamato would obviously ask- why hadn’t he prepared some answers sooner. Too busy wallowing in his own self-pity and shame again.

“Because we didn’t know your situation before now… Sakura discovered what conditions you were living in, and after she told me we decided to appeal to the Hokage, Sasuke-sama.”

Yamato blushed here. Yes, that was right, Sakura-chan had seen him at his lowest. How would he ever be able to look her in the eye again after acting like an animal in front of her, fighting and begging for scraps of food. His shame was so great.

Kakashi noticed the look on his face. “Whatever you did, whatever happened in Suna, we hold no judgement. You cannot be held accountable for any of your actions there… the blame lies with me. I was your friend, and I was close to the Hokage. I should have acted sooner.”

Yamato could see Kakashi’s distress clearly, but he was in no condition or frame of mind to comfort anyone, even himself. “Please don’t apologise. I’m here now. I’ll just have to try and move on… if I can.”

Kakashi placed his hands on his kohai’s shoulders. “You will. We will all help you through this, to recover.”

Yamato looked doubtful. “We’ll see.”

Kakashi sensed his friend’s exhaustion, so he decided to drop the topic. He stood and pulled Yamato to his feet too. “Take a seat, Tenzo, and I shall get you something to eat.”

Yamato’s head snapped up, his eyes desperate. It saddened Kakashi greatly to see first-hand just how starved his friend was. 

He walked to the door, turned and said, “I’ll be right back.”

 

***

 

Kakashi found his way to the kitchen, where the others members of team Taka were gathered. Karin was at the stove heating some food. Juugo watched Kakashi with some concern. Suigetsu chuckled at the grave faces of the others.

“How is your friend, Kakashi-san?” Juugo asked.

“How you would expect after being locked up and tortured by that snake all these months.”

Even Suigetsu shuddered here.

“You look like you could use some tea- or something stronger?” Juugo said kindly.

“Tea will be fine.”

Before Kakashi could say anything else, Karin had poured something into a bowl and stomped over to Kakashi, shoving a tray into his hand. “For your friend,” was all she said as she stormed off.

Kakashi blinked, wondering what had gotten into her.

“Yes, even Karin can feel pity when it comes to her old employer,” Juugo said when he noticed Kakashi’s confusion. 

Kakashi looked down at the tray. There was a bowl of miso, a little rice and a little bread and cheese. Nothing too heavy, but items that would make him feel full. Kakashi never thought he would feel grateful towards Karin. 

He nodded at Juugo and turned to leave, but was met with Sasuke. 

“Well?”

“He has calmed down. I am taking him some food now, as you can see.”

“Good. He can stay here tonight, but in the morning we will check him into the hospital so they can run some tests and monitor him for a few days. Then we need to find a place for him to stay.”

“Can he not stay with me?”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think so. Besides, he will need constant watching at first, while he adjusts here. You can’t be there for him, because your place is by my side. And we both know working with a Hokage means long hours.”

Kakashi sighed. “Maybe between me and Sakura…”

“We don’t to decide tonight. Besides, his foods going cold.”

“Right.”

Kakashi headed back to the lounge. “Oh and Kakashi,” Sasuke called.

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“In the morning, go to Sakura. Tell her you both have the day off.”

Kakashi’s jaw must have dropped, because Sasuke scoffed. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Th- thank you, Sasuke.”

“Just the one day though.”

“Of course.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update wooo. I hope you enjoy the return of a certain someone to this chapter.

Sakura was faced with another early morning to fit in her training with Gai-sensei. Because they both had work that morning, they had agreed on a 6am start in the training field. The sky was pink with glittering golden ways snaking through the sky here and there; not that Sakura could appreciate this, for she wore a blindfold whist Gai randomly attacked her from various angles.

The attacks were not continuous, but came in different time scales, completely random. The point, as Gai had explained, was for her to stay on her guard for a prolonged period of time and block his attacks without being able to see him.

After an hour of this, with the longest time between an attack up to twenty-five minutes, Gai leapt out from above and came down to land a blow directly above her head. For a moment Sakura nearly missed it (even Gai could be silent when he wanted) but she caught the whistling of the wind right at the last moment and ducked and rolled to safety. Gai being in mid-air was unable to change the course of his attack.

“Smart move Sakura-chan,” he said beaming, pleased with her progress. “Excellent work again today. You are improving immensely. Remove the blindfold and rest now, we’ll leave it here for today.”

Sakura couldn’t help but beam back at his praise, blushing slightly as she pulled off the dark material. “Thank you Gai-sensei. Patience has never been my virtue though, so I couldn’t have honed these skills without your help.”

“Don’t get too excited though, we aren’t done yet. So far you only have a basis in defending without sight. You need to learn much more than that to take on the sharingan. I learnt that the hard way from taking a severe beating from Kakashi.”

Despite reminiscing over times he had been beaten almost senseless by an arrogant brat, Gai had a dreamy look on his face as he recalled his rival’s skills.

“So other than not looking at the sharingan, what else can I try?”

“Well, one good way to fight them, although I haven’t tried this myself, is using shadow clones. You will have heard people say that you should never fight a sharingan user one on one, and a team of at least two is essential. Well, if you were to be attacked by a sharingan user while alone, that would make you completely defenceless if that’s the case, right? Wrong! I will teach you how to make the most of the shadow clone technique to create your own team, so you may attack with a perfect strategy. We will look at that in a few lesson’s time. This is just one strategy to beat the sharingan though, I have researched plenty more in my time.”

“But Gai-sensei,” Sakura began nervously. She didn’t want to offend the man who was giving up his free time to train her, but she couldn’t help but feel a slight concern with this part of the training. “I don’t want to be rude, especially when you are so good to me, but how will you teach me to use shadow clones if you cannot use ninjutsu yourself?”

But not to be perturbed, Gai merely posed with his hands on his hips and boomed, “Aha! You have noticed what others always thought to be my major flaw as a teacher! For this reason some parents of students had of course expressed concern too. However I will tell you what I told them: no teacher can learn all of the student’s techniques, yet they can still impart knowledge to them on form, theory, style and strategy all the same, and aid with a strict training regime. In other words, I do not have to be proficient in a skill to impart wisdom on it. I can learn just as much about jutsu and strategy as anyone else. And as I do not rely on ninjutsu, I can teach ways to counter against such techniques that require little chakra. There will be times when an enemy is immune to your signature moves, and in these times, it is my style that prevails. In your case Sakura-chan, I am somewhat of an expert in all things sharingan as a result of my rivalry with your sensei. Even if I can’t use all the different strategies to fight it myself, I still hold the knowledge.”

Sakura smiled at the confident and, well, lovable teacher in front of her. “I see. Thank you for explaining Gai-sensei, and sorry for doubting you…”

“Don’t worry about it. If only I had ryu for every time someone questioned my teaching, well I would be a rich man! Luckily though I have never sought such riches, only to further my incredible manly strength!”

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh fondly. “Whatever you say, sensei.” She bowed to him and grabbed her training bag. “Thank you for your time once again. I’ll see you in a few days.”  
“I look forward to it, Sakura-chan. Your youthfulness keeps me on my toes!”

As she started walking away, she distinctly heard a hesitant noise from the man behind her and double back.

“Did you say something, sensei?”

“I just wondered whether you had seen much of Kakashi lately…”

“Ah,” Sakura paused darkly, trying to think of an excuse. If Kakashi hadn’t visited Gai there would be a reason, which she suspected had something to do with their so-called Hokage. Kakashi must be cutting himself off from others in the hope that they won’t notice anything and assume he is busy. It is a shame that he would do this even to Gai though, as they had been friends for so long. Gai clearly missed his if those big dark eyes hanging on her reaction were anything to go by. He looked almost vulnerable right now, if that could be possible. Kakashi’s attitude and distancing himself must have hurt his friend, she decided. Better make an excuse for him before things get any worse between them. Her sensei would need his friends around him after all, with what has been going on.

“I have not Gai-san, only a message that he is busy with work.” The lie didn’t fall as easy from her tongue as she would have hoped. But then again she had never been the best liar. That time she had pretended to love Naruto to keep him away from Sasuke had proved that. If only Naruto knew that those feelings had become real…

“I see. Well, I hope he doesn’t work himself too hard anyway.”

“I’ll tell him to take it easy next time I see him. Goodbye.”

 

***

 

Sakura was caught by surprise on her way back to her home to shower and change for work. Stood outside her apartment were two people she had not expected to see: one was the last person she wanted to see, and the other the person she had wanted to see the most. 

“Finally,” Sasuke said, leaning with his arms folded against the wall. “Where have you been? I didn’t think you were working the night shift.”

“Hi Kakashi,” she said, not bothering to greet the Hokage. A great wave of loathing washed over her, and she longed only to lunge for him at that moment, to scream into his face and force him to apologise for all he had done. She hated seeing him anywhere near her friend. To Sasuke she merely said, “I’m not. I was out training before work.”

Sasuke scoffed with amusement. “I wouldn’t bother if I were you, nursey.”

Sakura felt her fist twitch and contemplated hitting him. She knew he would stop her before she even came close though.

Kakashi, sensing the tension between them, at a time he really didn’t need it, interrupted the potential tête-à-tête. Besides, he feared nothing more than Sakura confronting Sasuke, and Sasuke hurting her somehow. 

“You won’t be working today. I bring good news.”

She knew instantly what this had to be about, to see Kakashi’s filled with such relief. Sakura froze, unable to look away from those grey eyes, needing her thoughts to be confirmed. “Is this about Yamato-taichou?”

“He’s here, and recovering in the hospital. He is free, Sakura.”

The pink haired girl dropped her training bag and brought her hands to her cheeks, overcome with a mixture of feelings; relief, excitement, guilt. “Can it be… he is really home?”  
“Yes. When you are ready we will go see him, if he is awake yet. I don’t think he has slept so well for a long time.” Kakashi gave a small smile. 

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” she announced, scrabbling for her keys.

“I’ll wait for you,” Kakashi said going to follow her inside.

“Kakashi,” Sasuke said, drawing the silver haired man’s attention back to him. “I will leave you to it.”

“Yes,” Kakashi said. Sakura and Sasuke were both watching him now, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave it there. “Thank you, Hokage-sama, for returning him to us.”  
Sasuke smirked and then glanced at Sakura. He was clearly pleased with himself. She knew that he also expected the same gratitude and respect from her… and was internally debating if she could get away with snubbing him, or wondering whether that would make things more difficult for Kakashi. She had promised after all that she wouldn’t let Sasuke know that she knew the truth behind their relationship.

“Thank you, Hokage-sama,” she said stiffly. “For returning our dear friend.”

“My pleasure,” he said grinning at Kakashi. Sakura could have sworn it was a leer and felt sick. Kakashi could prevent the blush of shame that spread across his cheeks. He wished he could forget that night he had given himself to Sasuke so completely in exchange for Yamato’s freedom.

“See you tomorrow, Kakashi,” Sasuke said before walking away, completely confident in his actions.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep: I'm back! Did you miss me ;p

“Can this really be happening?” Sakura breathed outside the door to the private ward, watching through the window at the still form of her once-captain. 

“It is hard to believe that he is hear after all this time. I know how you feel.” Kakashi’s soft answer came from next to her.

“Oh, Kakashi just look how thin he is,” she fretted trying to keep calm. She was torn between panicking as a friend, and keeping the professional head of a medical expert. “It will take a while just to recover from his malnourishment. I will have to speak with the nurses about the plans for diet and rest.”

“I fed him last night and this morning…” Kakashi began. Sakura sensed he wanted to say more, and so she turned her attention to him. “At the mention of food his eyes looked… wild. He really must have been starved under his imprisonment.”

“Yes,” Sakura said, her eyes watering at the memory of Orochimaru throwing Yamato and some over prisoners a few scraps for them to fight over. They had been acting like animals. But she would never judge him for it. Any human could be reduced to that behaviour shinobi or not.

“Well,” Kakashi said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. “Shall we go in?”

Sakura watched the new arrival again for another moment, and slowly nodded. “Let’s go.”

 

***

 

Juugo was surprised at just how quickly Sasuke was getting through paperwork that morning. He was completely focussed, not shifting around looking for a distraction or taking his boredom out on anyone. Although Sasuke was passionate about his role as Supreme Hokage and was enthusiastic about right what he considered wrongs, he found great distaste in any more menial or administrative related duties. Yet he knew these were necessary evils. Once he allowed his staff- or in this case team mates- authority to sign things off in his stead, he started relinquishing his own authority. And that was something Sasuke was not keen on doing as he liked to hold complete control.

It was a trait he carried over to his personal life as well. He rarely relied on others, despite having a team. That is why he chose to keep as close an eye on Kakashi as possible, rather than trusting anyone else to help tame his prize. It made the reward that much greater. 

Sasuke had given something very important to Kakashi- his friend’s return. Juugo also knew that Kakashi’s friend having a second chance meant the world to him, despite the Anko incident. He had not known the silver haired man long, but he had gotten a strong enough sense of who he was to know this, even if Kakashi didn’t tell him himself.  
And if Kakashi had been granted a little happiness, and the wretched Yamato had been given a new chance at life, then Juugo could also allow himself to feel a little happy. Sasuke’s light mood also made things easier for the team. Their raven haired leader was even nice to Karin which made the girl pink with delight.

Yes, Sasuke was indeed happy with himself. He knew that now his sensei was so indebted to him, he was accepting his place at his side, as his lover. Kakashi was finally accepting that he belonged to Sasuke. And with this great favour granted, Kakashi would be grateful for it.

 

***

 

Yamato continued to stare out of the window on his right hand side, not even bothering to turn his head when the door on the left opened. It was still hard for him to believe that this was real, that he was really _here_ after all this time; he was home.

The trees outside were real. That blue sky was real. Even the horribly bright white walls of the hospital were real. 

He really was in Konoha.

His friends- or what was left of them- were here by his side.

The gentle footsteps stopped a moderate distance from the bed. He supposed that they were unsure what his reaction would be, how he would behave, so they were just being cautious. He had heard their breathing as they had approached him. The little intake of breath had to be _her_.

“So you brought Sakura with you this time.”

Even without looking at her he could hear the overwhelming emotion in her voice; but he was in no mood to comfort her. He had always been the comforting type before- hell Kakashi and those kids had _needed_ it- but he was no longer that person. Now he really felt wooden inside.

“Yamato-taichou,” she breathed. “I am so sorry-“

However the recent captive cut her off. “What could you possibly be sorry for? You did nothing wrong.”

“I saw you- and I did nothing.”

“You got help, and I’m here now; that’s more than enough.”

“But I should have-“

“I don’t want to hear it!” Yamato suddenly snapped. “It doesn’t matter. It happened. It happened to me! And no one can take it back, no one can give me the time back that I suffered there! There’s no point talking about it!”

Sakura was taken aback at the abrupt manner but said nothing. She was a medical ninja, she was used to such things, even though she had not expected it from Yamato. It saddened her greatly- Yamato was always so cool headed, with a calm and determined demeanour. To see how Orochimaru had shaken who is he had been in such a way broke her heart.

Yamato for his part hadn’t wanted to hurt his friends who had rescued him, but his thoughts were so scattered he could barely focus on anything let alone control his emotions. He was not in the frame of mind for an emotional reunion. He was physically and mentally exhausted.

After some moments passed Kakashi patted Sakura on the shoulder and encouraged her to approach Yamato with him. Yamato wasn’t making eye contact but mumbled, “I didn’t mean to shout.”

“We know,” Kakashi said.

Sakura tried to smile in a way she hoped was reassuring. “Don’t worry about it.”

“What’ll become of me?” Yamato asked. “What happens now?”

“Now it is time to take back your life,” Kakashi replied. “It is time to move forwards, with the support of the village and your friends.”

“If I can…”

“You will.” Kakashi was firm, as if there was no doubt of this.

Yamato continued to watch the floor, but slowly nodded, putting trust in his comrade’s words.

“Firstly, we need to ensure you have physically recovered,” Sakura began. “You will stay in the hospital during this time while we monitor you. I will be able to keep you company during my breaks, and I will be helping with your recovery. You are very malnourished and dehydrated so we will need to get your weight back up to what it was on your file before the war. Once we are satisfied with your recovery you may go.”

“To my apartment?”

Sakura and Kakashi glanced at each other uncomfortably here. “Unfortunately, your flat old is already occupied…but we don’t want you living alone just yet anyway, or we’d find you a new one.”

Yamato didn’t have much of a reaction to the loss of his apartment, but to him anything was better than the hell he had been in since the war.

“Then where?”

Sakura and Kakashi looked at each other again, both unsure of the best solution: they both knew Sasuke would never allow Kakashi to live with another man, even platonically. Sakura was also too busy, working long, long shifts. She would barely be there and when she was she would be tired. Her varied shifts would mean that there was no routine for Yamato either, which wasn’t good for his mental recovery and most probable trust issues. He needed to live with someone who could be there for him, who he could depend on, steady as a rock. Someone not worn down with life, but positive and optimistic. 

“We don’t need to decide that just yet,” Kakashi replied. “The first step is your physical recovery here.”

Yamato didn’t like the uncertainty but tried not to dwell on it. Kakashi was right he needed to regain his previous physic. He wasn’t afraid of being in hospitals like Kakashi was.   
“Now then,” Kakashi said, trying to lighten the mood. “I think we all need a distraction; who’s up for a game?” He said as he pulled a pack of cards out from his pocket. He needed to try and focus Yamato’s attention on something, anything else than his time in Suna. Which was OK, seeing as Kakashi wasn’t good at comforting, and Yamato didn’t wanted to forget for a while.

 

***

 

It was after another long day of training, followed by teaching at the academy, followed by more training, that Gai finally returned home. He was weary and in need of another shower, but was also hungry. After a quick wash, he dried off and changed into green and orange chequered PJs and made a start on a hearty, healthy curry. Good food did wonders for him, easing with tired body.

Suddenly there came a knock at his door. Moving the food off the hob, he went to answer.

Upon seeing who was there it felt like his heart had leapt into his throat and he nearly choked. 

“Kakashi!”

He was so shocked, but also overwhelmed with emotion. Kakashi was the last person he had expected to see. He knew that his rival had been avoiding him. He had not seen him since _that_ night… since that kiss. That wonderful, tender, passionate kiss.

And the heated argument that had followed.

What could this visit mean?

Did Kakashi come to apologise? To make up with him? 

To confess with mutual feelings of love?

Gai’s heart swelled at the thought; he wanted nothing more than to hold his love in his arms again. If Kakashi returned his feelings…

“Gai,” Kakashi began, surprisingly urgently. “I am sorry to ask this, but I have no one else to turn to. I need a favour.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it has been a while my friends... I have been caught on the Path of Life... but I have returned once again to this fic.
> 
> And is it just me or is a very little SasuKaka out there... So I have a new found determination to keep this going! And I really need to write a SasuKaka where Sasuke isn't so evil ;p

At Kakashi’s statement Gai felt his heart promptly deflate again. His excited, racing thoughts of future happiness quickly descended into gloom. And he couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment that came crashing over him. 

How could he have been so stupid, to let himself get his hopes up so? This was Kakashi after all, and things were never so easy or straightforward with his silver haired rival and love.

Kakashi, being the keen observer that he is, couldn’t help but notice the quick change in Gai’s demeanour; the hopeful, innocent gleam in his eye dulled instantly as the Green Beast processed his words. And Kakashi was painfully aware that his visit had probably sparked hope in Gai. It was selfish of him to come asking for Gai’s help, after how he had treated the good man, and he knew it.

Awkward didn’t even come class to describing this scenario. It was the first time since… since it all; since they had last laid eyes on one another, since Gai’s confession of love, since that passionate kiss… and since Kakashi had resorted to punching Gai in the midst of their argument and throwing him out his home.

If it was anyone else, they would probably treated Kakashi with the coldness he felt he deserved, and told him to fuck off after so cruelly breaking their heart. But Gai was not like that. Gai was a good man- too good for Kakashi. And instead of dishing out a taste of Kakashi’s own medicine, he instead stood back and said, “Well, you had better come in then, Kakashi.”

And he did. He rather awkwardly brushed past Gai. The tension felt stifling. Kakashi noted the use of just plain old ‘Kakashi’ that Gai had used. Not rival, or ‘dear friend’ or even any enthusiasm in the tone. Gai had always said his name with such… emotion was that the word? Well he always said it like he meant it anyway, like just saying the name gave him joy or was a youthful challenge itself. Now it was just flat.

And that made Kakashi sad.

“Please, sit down,” Gai said as he took the seat opposite Kakashi, rather than next to him on the sofa like usual. Already things felt so different… Kakashi wondered if their friendship could survive this and all that had happened…

Kakashi fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, not sure where to be begin, if he should apologise for his behaviour on their previous encounter, or pretend it had never happened.  
“So what do you need?” Gai said, straight to the point. Despite everything, he wanted to help Kakashi however he could. Kakashi wasn’t one to ask for favours- ever- so the fact he had come to Gai at all meant that something serious had happened.

“Ah, right,” Kakashi began, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s… it’s Tenzo.” Kakashi’s voice sounded pained, tense. Gai knew the situation with Yamato must really have affected him. He knew how Kakashi handled things and could imagine he was drowning under his own sense of guilt. It was similar to how Kakashi sounded when referring to the loss of his old Team Minato.

“He has returned then?” Gai inquired, genuinely concerned.

“You know about him?”

“Sakura-chan told me Orochimaru had held him captive.”

“Indeed. Hokage-sama has ordered his release.”

“Took him long enough,” Gai scoffed. He found it disbelieving that Sasuke had allowed a Konoha Ninja to be imprisoned like that in the first place- but then again Sasuke had not shown his home village any loyalties before, so he shouldn’t have been shocked by his lack of care towards his people’s wellbeing. However he had hoped he would have intervened sooner for Sakura and Kakashi’s sakes. Was Sasuke’s heart made of stone when it came to his old team?

Kakashi didn’t say anything and averted his gaze. Now that aroused Gai’s suspicions. Kakashi usually had a lot to on the subject of protecting his friends, even if he didn’t speak about much else.

“Kakashi?”

“He is here now anyway… I just wish I had acted sooner.”

Typical Kakashi, blaming himself… Gai felt a pang in his chest. “But you did, Kakashi, that is what counts. You saved him, the details mean nothing.”

The silver haired jonin looked into his friend’s eyes with his own full of pleading emotion, hanging onto his words. “I wish I could just accept your words. But it is something I will never forgive myself for. But what is done is done and Tenzo is here now, home where he is safe.”

“Exactly.” Gai couldn’t fight the urge to comfort his love any longer, even though he had told himself to keep a physical distance for both their sakes. He reached out his hand to cover Kakashi’s smaller one. “He will recover from this Kakashi. He is here now, that is what’s important.”

“I know. And to help him recover is why I came to speak with you.”

“With me?”

“Yes, you see,” Kakashi shifted in his seat, knowing this was a big ask anyway, regardless how appallingly he had treated Gai recently. “Tenzo is in the hospital now and he is very weak and malnourished. He will need some time to recover physically.”

“Understandably.” Gai nodded thoughtfully.

“And well, he doesn’t have an apartment anymore- it wouldn’t be right to leave him alone now anyway, not while the mental scars are still so fresh. But of course he still needs his space.”

“Hm,” Gai was considering all this and he suspected where it was going.

“Ideally Sakura and I would want to take care of him, but in our lines of work and long hours, it just isn’t possible or fair on Tenzo. And well… look I will be blunt: there aren’t many people I trust Gai, but you are one of the few I do wholeheartedly, not just with my life but one of my precious people.”

Gai was feeling slightly overwhelmed at Kakashi’s words. He was elated at his love’s trust, but also felt despair at the phrase ‘precious person’- did he have feelings for Yamato?  
Kakashi must have read some of these conflicting emotions on his face, for he quickly added, “I know it is a lot to ask of you, Gai, but Tenzo is like a younger brother to me. And I feel don’t want just anyone looking out for him; it has to be someone I trust to really be there for him, who will put his wellbeing first, whether he likes it or not. Someone who I would trust with my own life. Who exudes positivity, unlike me. And that someone… well it can only be you.”

“Kakashi…” Gai moved forwards and clasped his friend’s hand fully. He felt pride that Kakashi had come to him. And his hopes burned within him again. If Kakashi thought this highly of him, then maybe there was still hope for them. And it meant he would see more of Kakashi at any rate. But of course, putting all that aside, the young man in his care would have to come first if he were to take his duty of care seriously. “I would be honoured.”

“Thank you, Gai… just… thank you.”

Kakashi was overwhelmed with gratitude. Gai was always there for him, so dependable, like a rock. Kakashi wondered if he would ever be able to pay him back for his kindness and devotion. But that was the thing about Gai wasn’t it; he never asked for anything in return. Whether Kakashi returned his feelings or not, Gai’s answer would have been the same.

And Kakashi, knowing all this and Gai’s feelings for him, had to wonder: would he just end up hurting Gai?


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? A new chapter? Less than a week later? Yes, you got it!
> 
> And 40 chapters!!!! WOOO

As Kakashi, after thanking Gai some more, headed to the front door and put his sandals on Gai followed. He watched Kakashi with mixed feelings. Of course he knew he would never deny Kakashi anything, but that didn’t prevent a small bitterness welling inside him. He refused to let himself to succumb to such negativity and would treat his task as a top priority mission. Gai was well known for being a positive and happy go lucky person, but even he felt jealousy, anger and regret like anybody else did. He also felt a little used but quickly pushed those thoughts aside; after all, Kakashi had come to him out of deep trust and he refused to let his emotions get in the way of what was right, not just for Kakashi, but Yamato-san too. The man needed someone steady as a rock, like himself. Gai loved Kakashi dearly, but the man was not always stable. Kakashi didn’t look out for his own health, so maybe it was best he wasn’t in charge of another person’s.

Kakashi slipped his feet in his sandals and wriggled his toes, watching his own feet. He knew what he had to say, but he didn’t know how. Who would have thought, the great Copy Nin such a coward? He felt a bitter laugh trying to escape but held it down.

With a final, anxious glance at Gai, Kakashi reached for the door. “Gai,” he took a breath as he began. Maybe if he said it quickly it would help. Like ripping a bandage. “I’m sorry. For everything. For asking too much. For the way I spoke to you last time… for punching you. I never should have hurt a friend. Especially one as loyal as you.”

Kakashi had kept his eye on the door handle as he said it, but Gai knew not to force eye contact. Kakashi needed to come around to things in his own time, and he was clearly stressed at the moment. “That’s OK, Kakashi. Just know that I am here when you need me… when you want me. I will always wait for you.”

The younger man let out a sigh that held both exasperation, tiredness and regret.

“I honestly don’t why you bother with someone like me.”

And with that he strode out into the dark of the night. Gai watched him for a moment, before closing his door and heading back into his kitchen. There he set to work to finish off the dinner he had abandoned, though he had little appetite now. It seemed Yamato-san would be in hospital a little while longer so Gai would delay his new chores for now. Tomorrow night after work he would clear out the spare room of any clutter and give it a clean and change the bed sheets.

With all this decided in his mind, he thought back to Kakashi’s parting words: _I honestly don’t why you bother with someone like me._ “You know, sometimes I wonder that myself,” Gai said aloud to himself. “My life would be much simpler without you… but love is never simple is it, ne? Especially when it comes to loving someone who won’t allow themselves to feel it.”

 

***

 

The next day Kakashi rose early to stop in at the hospital on his way to work. As he expected, Sakura was also there. As the door to Yamato’s ward swung open, Sakura turned in the seat next to the bed. 

“Good morning, Kakashi!” she called out cheerily- too cheery. Kakashi could see through the act. Things were tense and strained with Yamato still, despite spending the day with him yesterday. Sakura was trying her best to lift their spirits and make things seem ‘normal’, but both Kakashi and Yamato knew it would take a long time for it to feel like that again, if ever. After all, things were so different before the war. The time they had all been together it was such a different world…

Kakashi kept his depressing thoughts to himself though, grateful once again for his mask that hid his true feelings. “Good morning Sakura, Tenzo. I just thought I’d stop by on the way to work.”

“Oh, so you can’t stay…” Sakura began sadly. Yamato said nothing, he barely even looked away from the open window. A crisp morning breeze drifted into the plain room.  
“No, Hokage-sama only allowed me the one day off. He needs me back to work.”

Sakura scoffed to herself thinking, _I bet he does._ “Right. Well, do not worry, Yamato-taichou will be well looked after by me and my staff. I will oversee his care until he leaves.”

“And when will that be?” Yamato suddenly asked. “Not that it matters really. It makes no difference to me if I am confined to a bed here or elsewhere.”

“Well, once you are released you will have a bit more freedom at least.” Kakashi said, trying to be positive.

“I suppose. But… it’s just…” he paused and turned back to the open window as if he wanted to jump through it. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself anyway.”

Sakura and Kakashi glanced at one another anxiously. Both felt guilty and awful that they couldn’t do more for him, couldn’t take the emotional pain away as well as the physical. “You can do anything you want,” Sakura said gently. “Within reason of course, your recovery comes first so there will be plenty of rest and small but regular meals and snacks to build up your weight. Light exercise like walks would be best. And you will have regular check-ups and counselling here to see how you’re doing. Kakashi and I will see you often too.”

“I… I suppose everyone knows then…? What happened to me… the things I did…”Yamato’s tanned face was full of shame and sadness.

“No… only that you were in Suna. No one knows I swear. Of course we had to tell the medical staff looking after you but it is all confidential.”

“And you might want to consider telling your new housemate,” Kakashi pitched in, hoping some news would distract Yamato from his more despairing thoughts. He also wanted his kohai to know that he wouldn’t be alone once released.

“What?” both Sakura and Yamato turned to him with big, surprised eyes. 

“Oh did I not mention it?” Kakashi eye-smiled at them both. “Gai has a spare room and has invited Tenzo to stay with him during his recovery. Congratulations Tenzo, I hope you enjoy spicy food, bright colours and youth!”

“Wow, that’s great news,” Sakura beamed, now she had a newfound trust and appreciation of Gai-sensei herself. She had always thought him a bit strange and overbearing in the past, but now he was training her she was growing more and more fond of him, and starting to see the serious side to him behind the loud and goofy act- a bit like Kakashi using his aloof, porn-reading behaviour to keep others at a distance.

The only person who didn’t see this as good news, it seemed, was Yamato.

“No way!” The wood user yelled, sitting up straight in his bed. “Senpai- surely you can’t be serious?!”

Kakashi chuckled. This was the most reaction they had from Tenzo since his return, and who knew it would be caused by Gai of all people. “Oh? Is there a problem? I thought you needed a place to stay?”

“Yes, a place to stay. Not a roommate. Especially not Maito Gai as a roommate. He gives me a headache after ten minutes- just imagine living with him!”

“Ah yes, I can see it now,” Kakashi said, putting on a dreamy voice and pretending to stare off into the distance. “Surprise drills called to keep you on your toes, long, long stories of our rivalry you will have to sit through, and of course early morning exercising. Who knows, maybe he will have a spare jumpsuit for you too!”

“SENPAI!”

Kakashi and Sakura both laughed hard. Yamato sighed and then relented. “I suppose I will get back into shape quicker living with him. And it may not be peaceful, but at least it won’t be dull with Gai around.” Yamato allowed himself a small chuckle as he imagined it, joining in with the other two. He could feel some of the tension leaving him. Who knows, maybe living with someone as loud and positive as Gai will be good for him? There was a little uncertainty because they had never really got on with each other in the past, but it was a different world now and anything could happen, even him getting along with Maito Gai for more than ten minutes without trying to kill him. And at least he wouldn’t be along all the time. His loneliness scared him because he would get lost in the memories…

Kakashi beamed a real smile as he watched his friend laugh and relax a little. He knew he had made the right choice putting his trust in Gai- for both him and for Tenzo.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My readers… I hope some of you are still sticking with this… because I am. I am so sorry for the mammoth wait for an update. The truth is I felt the most pressure with this fic and so worked on others until around December. That’s when horrible real life grabbed me by the figurative balls and I disappeared. A lot of shitty stuff happened mixed with writers block. But every now and then one of you left me an encouraging review… and well it worked. I came back! And I went through all of my plot notes for this story and worked on it again- including the final paragraph of this fic (don’t worry it is a while away yet but at least be assured I know where I am heading towards and all the plots will tie together and there won’t be any loose ends).
> 
> And I made an effort to proof read it today! I am so bad for proofreading usually!
> 
> There aren't any huge bombshells but hoping you enjoy this one all the same- it fits in with a lot of the developing themes in the fic.

Yamato once again found himself looking at the sky outside his small hospital window. He had been here almost a week now yet still felt tired most of the time- a symptom of his malnourished and weak body. Leaving hospital too soon exposed him to germs and bacteria and in his constant state he was vulnerable to post-war disease.

He hoped it wouldn’t be long now until he could leave even if that meant being Maito Gai’s roommate. The fortified high calorie foods he was made to eat were starting to lose their appeal and he wanted the chance to start enjoying eating again. Hopefully Gai would be a good cook… or at least leave him to himself to cook meals. It was the most positive Yamato had been feeling about life for a long time. Caring about what he ate was no small matter after how desperate he had been for any food for so long.

Just then the door opened and the man himself, Maito Gai, walked in. Or appeared dramatically. Whatever. 

“Yamato-san! I, your youthful new host am here to re-acquaint myself with my new charge! Do not fear, young man, with the super support of Maito Gai you shall be fit in no time!”

“Hi Gai-san,” Yamato replied, taken aback at the dynamic entrance.

“Gai-san!” an irritable nurse called. “Please, not so loud! Poor Yamato-san is resting. As are all of our other patients.”

“Sorry, my good woman. And what an excellent job you are doing! So tell me, when can my patient be discharged?”

“The good news,” she said meeting Yamato’s eager gaze. “Is soon. Not quite yet though but I think a few more days. Malnourishment has been preventing his wounds from healing as quickly as they should, but he is making good progress.”

“Really?” Yamato said, not believing his own ears. He had been waiting for this update. Everyone had been reluctant so far to give him a timeframe in case there were any complications, but Sakura overseeing his diet and recovery had been a big help. She really knew her stuff and was the best of the best.

“Excellent!” boomed Gai. “I shall be certain to collect my colleague here in a few days then. Thank you.”

“Just remember Yamato-san, your release will be on the condition that you follow the recommended food plan, physiotherapy routines and you continue with your therapy sessions. It will be the same doctor on a weekly basis to start with. Your mental health is just as important to the village as your physical. And Gai-san you will need to ensure Yamato attends and has access to a balanced range of healthy foods. If you believe there are any complications or you have any concerns you will need to get in touch with Sakura-sama immediately.”

Gai have a heartfelt thumbs up and assured the nurse, “you can count on me!” He couldn’t help but notice Yamato awkwardly looking away at this point. Understandably the man wanted to forget his pain, but Gai knew from dealing with other colleagues like Kakashi that hiding your emotional stresses won’t help in the long run. Yamato needed an outlet for everything he went through and therapy would be the best and healthiest thing.

“I know we can Gai-san,” the nurse smiled fondly. “After all the times you helped us look after that stubborn friend of yours, Kakashi, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. And Sakura-sama also speaks most highly of you.”

Yamato threw Gai a curious look here. Sakura speaks highly of Gai? He had never noticed that before… he wondered what had changed. Though it seems a lot must have happened on the time he had been held captive… but Kakashi trusted Gai with his life, a rare thing, so Yamato would also try to trust him.

The nurse promptly left them to it and Gai took a seat quickly in an attempt to hide the sudden awkwardness. He cleared his throat and spoke. “I want you to know Yamato-san that I am honoured to have you stay with me and you will be most welcome. A friend of Kakashi’s is a friend of mine.”

“I thought Kakashi was your rival?”

“He most definitely is! Over the years our rivalry has blossomed into a fond and beautiful friendship. I hope we will also grow fond of each other in the time we live together.”

Yamato sighed. “I’m sure we will… it’s just, I… I didn’t expect to finally be released only to find my home had been given away…”

Gai felt a fresh wave of sympathy for the displaced man who had been a prisoner of war. He placed his hand on Yamato’s shoulder consolingly. “I am sorry for all you have had to experience in this war, only to come home and find it is not there. But do not worry you can build a new home. A building is just bricks and wood. Your friends and family are what make it a true home. And being a wood user it won’t be hard for you to find a new place when the right time comes.”

Yamato felt taken aback by how serious and genuine Gai was being. He hadn’t experienced this side of the man’s personality before, only the over-enthusiastic persona who chased down his rival for a challenge. On that boat journey they shared with Naruto, Gai’s loudness and seasickness had driven him nuts so he kept his distance as much as possible… he was starting to regret that now. Perhaps he has misjudged Gai after all.

In light of these thoughts, Yamato felt lost for words. “Th- thank you Gai-san. It means a lot that you are sharing your home with me.”

“Think nothing of it!” Gai waved a hand to illustrate this point. “Now then, I had better get to work- I am an academy teacher now!”

“What? But you’re a jonin! Don’t you want something more challenging?”

“Well in light of my loss of the eight gates it is work more suited to my abilities. However I have discovered that teaching low-levelled ninja, children and civilians actually appeals to me and I very much enjoy it. Every day I get to help channel the passionate fire of the youth! And I work with those who need my support the most on a large scale. Teaching comes with its own unique and rewarding challenges, my friend!”

Yamato had feared he had put his foot in it with his new landlord at first, but soon realised that Gai’s declarations about his new job were genuine. He really did seem passionate about teaching those that someone at jonin level may snub. Gai really was something else. 

After all, he had suffered in this war too and had to live in a life changing circumstance just like Yamato. Yet Gai still remained a beacon of positivity and Yamato was shocked that he himself was feeling it creeping in to his cold and dark soul.

Maybe, just maybe, Kakashi had been right about his new living arrangements after all.

 

***

 

“Kakashi-san,” Juugo called out, smiling in greeting as Kakashi arrived to the Hokage Tower. “How is your friend Yamato-san doing? Improving I hope?”

“Thank you for asking,” Kakashi replied warmly- he rather liked Juugo despite everything. He made his so called job and life slightly more bearable anyway. “He is doing much better. I have even arranged for him to stay with a friend. Hopefully he will be able to leave the hospital soon.”

“I am glad to hear it. Although I suspect he will have other wounds that need time to heal; the kind we cannot see.”

Kakashi nodded solemnly. He recalled again what an intelligent and worldly young man the red head was. Sasuke was indeed lucky to have an advisor of his understanding and tact working for him. Their relationship still somewhat mystified the older ninja at times. 

“In that regard I have found the best roommate possible for him right now.”

“You are a good friend, Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi scoffed, looking at his feet to hide the pain in his eyes, but Juugo didn’t miss it. “I really don’t feel like it; but thank you for the sentiment.”

“I mean it.” Juugo took a step closer. Almost too close. Kakashi looked up and met his concerned gaze. “Your friend is lucky to have you.” 

Unsure what to say, Kakashi said nothing and they just stood looking at one another.

Just then Karin came round the corner. “Oi, you’re late again! Sasuke-kun is waiting for you, Hatake.”

She stopped and looked between the two of them. “Have I missed something?”

Kakashi’s sigh sounded a little too casual and forced. “No, I’m on my way.” He quickly rounded the corner and was gone.

Karin turned to Juugo, whose eyes has been following the copy ninja’s retreat. “Well?”

“It was nothing. We were talking of his friend. I was just trying to comfort him.”

Karin looked thoughtful but believed him. “I understand. But be careful; Sasuke will not,” the girl warned her team mate.

Juugo looked at her with surprised eyes. “Oh? I thought you would leap at the chance to cause some friction between Kakashi and Sasuke.”

“Yes but not between you and Sasuke. Suigetsu I couldn’t give a damn about but you are… tolerable I suppose.” 

Juugo laughed. That was about the closest Karin would come to admitting Juugo could be anything to her like a comrade or friend, or even someone she liked. She shut herself off from anyone that wasn’t Sasuke. She never liked to admit her true feelings, as if that made her seem weak somehow, or vulnerable, or dare anyone suggest it… _feminine_. 

“That is indeed a compliment coming from you.”

“Sh-shut up! Asshole…” she grumbled, pushing her glasses up her nose.

Juugo giggled still. “That sounds more like you.” Karin threw him a scowl. “But in all seriousness I am worried about Kakashi-san and his friend. You and I both know from personal observations the lasting effects of the snake’s treatment on his prisoners.”

Karin sighed. “I know… I don’t like Hatake but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Sometimes I-” She broke off and abruptly tried to walk away. Juugo grabbed her by the arm.   
“Go on- you can tell me. I am not Suigetsu and I won’t judge.”

Karin frowned, hesitating. 

“I won’t tell anyone; you can trust me, Karin, as a comrade of Team Taka.”

“I… It’s just that being on the other side of that snake’s treatment can- can hurt too,” she looked to the side and played with her red hair, her cheeks pink as if ashamed of talking about her inner turmoil. Again Karin was afraid to show any sort of vulnerability or openly talk about her feelings. “Sometimes I- sometimes I still get nightmares,” she whispered this last word, her voice almost breaking. “About the things I did to prisoners. The things I helped the snake do. For power. For my position.”

This was a side to Karin that Juugo had not seen before. He was glad to see it and see the real woman deep down. But he was hesitant about how to proceed. If he blew this she would revert into herself and would not confide again. And Juugo believed that they all needed a friendly ear from time to time, it is what made them human. He still longed deep down for his old confidant Kimimaru. Juugo had always told him everything.

Juugo hesitated before using a finger to tilt her chin to look at him.

“Listen to me. We all did things under Orochimaru’s command that we regret. Probably even Sasuke.” Karin’s eyes went wide at the suggestion that her beloved Sasuke might even feel some of the same things as she, the same regrets. “But we did as we were commanded during a time of conflict and we will have to bear that guilt for the rest of our lives. I myself have committed heinous crimes. And that is why I am staying by Sasuke’s side now; to atone for what I have done and prevent the same mistakes. That is all anyone can do- atone and vow never to forget your crimes.”

Karin was unexpectedly moved by Juugo’s words. He was right. She couldn’t take back what she had done. She did what she had to do to survive in a world of cruelty and gain some power working with a powerful sanin. And now she too was helping Sasuke create a world of peace. 

But then she thought back to that girl Anko. To what felt like raging and uncontrollable jealousy she had felt recently. Her taunting at Kakashi. Was she really atoning after all?  
“You know Juugo… as great as that sounds… sometimes I really don’t feel like I am one ‘good guys’ after all…”

Juugo thought back to some of his conversations with Kakashi and also his own observations of Sasuke treating older shinobi as second class citizens due his resentment… and the executions Sasuke had carried out in order to establish his reign of peace.

“You know, sometimes neither do I,” he muttered darkly. He quickly shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts, and recalled all the good Sasuke had done since becoming Hokage, with Team Taka at his side. “But I have to trust in Sasuke's will now… that is all I have.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey there. Oh what’s that, another update? You’re damn right it is! And just to warn you, this one is much longer and heavy going. I am glad to hear that everyone enjoyed my delving into Karin and Juugo’s perspective last chapter. I know everyone likes plot and smut (don’t we all, dearie!) but the way the characters feel and interact is also very important to me so it made me happy.

“Oh… Kakashi… keep going!” 

With his mouth full Kakashi couldn’t answer and even if he wanted to stop there was a firm hand that tangled in his hair and kept him in place. The last couple of weeks seemed to have been relatively peaceful for Kakashi after Tenzo’s return and his acceptance of his forced relationship with Sasuke. He had never thought it possible but he had even grown used to pleasuring Sasuke like this. It was almost normal now, just like one of those chores you had to do after the washing or before taking out the trash. Except this one left him with a queasy hint of shame and a bad taste in his mouth. 

With the recent practise Kakashi had even grown quite good at it. The Hokage using Kakashi’s mouth still felt more intimate and invasive than simple sex so the only way to cope was to try and get this over with as quickly as possible. Therefore he had studiously learnt what Sasuke liked, what made him shudder with pleasure, and what pushed him over the edge as quickly as possible. 

Unfortunately deep throating to the point where Kakashi couldn’t breathe was one of those things. So like a good little soldier he got down and dirty; one delightfully hard suck for Sasuke before Kakashi took as much of the cock as he could into his throat and swallowed around it. Sasuke definitely approved.

“Yes, yes! You’re so _good_ at this now Kakashi, so fucking good…ahh”

Hot cum shot down Kakashi’s throat and he tried his best not to choke. Once the Hokage came down from his orgasm he loosened the grip in Kakashi’s silver locks and allowed Kakashi to release his spent cock from his mouth. 

“You did well today,” Sasuke said breathily. 

“Must be all the practice,” Kakashi muttered as he rose to his feet and brushed himself off. “Will that be all Hokage-sama?”

Sasuke frowned. His pet still wouldn’t meet his eyes after sex. They had come so far in their relationship and still Kakashi always seemed to be holding back, like he wouldn’t give himself to Sasuke completely. Now that Kakashi was indebted to him and he hadn’t been having to use force recently he had hoped that Kakashi would come to truly appreciate him as a lover and his place by the world’s most powerful shinobi’s side. Yet Kakashi still treated their coupling as almost… clinical.

Not that Sasuke didn’t enjoy the sex or taking his pleasure from Kakashi’s body but… 

And then it struck him. Maybe there was something he could do for Kakashi, just Kakashi and not himself, to make him loosen up. If he could make Kakashi writhe beneath him and cum while thinking of him… Kakashi would know who truly owns him, the only one who can give this pleasure when he behaves, or such pain if he disobeys. 

The raven smirked as he looked up at Kakashi. “No, Kakashi, that will not be all. Perhaps there is something I can do for you…”

Kakashi paled. He hoped this was not heading where he thought… he was limp and unaroused and feared Sasuke’s reaction when he saw.

“Clothes off- all of them.”

Kakashi did as instructed and tried not to acknowledge the dread in his stomach. 

He stood before his now zipped up and fully clothed Hokage. Sasuke approached him while licking his lips and smirking. 

“You’re going to enjoy this, sensei.”

Then Sasuke was before him on his knees, tugging and massaging the older ninja’s anatomy to life. Kakashi willed his body to comply, and thank kami it did. He was soon hard and weeping before the Hokage, as a pink tongue slid out teasingly and licked the tip. Kakashi’s breath hitched. 

“You taste good,” Sasuke breathed. “So good I need more.”

Sasuke engulfed his cock, nibbling, kissing and biting here and there, sucking and hollowing his cheeks to gain different reactions from the man standing before him. Kakashi soon found himself to be on wobbly legs and had no choice but to hold onto Sasuke’s shoulders as if his life depended on it. 

Wanting to push his ex-sensei even further Sauke carefully, all without stopping what he was doing with his mouth, pulled a small tube of lube from his pocket and covered his fingers. His hands sneaked around to grip and pry open those sumptuous ass cheeks before snaking a finger into Kakashi’s hole.

The older man was caught by surprise and gasped. “Ah, ahh.”

Sasuke allowed the head to drop from his mouth with a crude popping noise. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Just let go, Kakashi. Moan for me like a bitch. My bitch.”

Just when Kakashi hoped he could pretend he was with someone else so that he didn’t feel so guilty for enjoying the pleasure, Sasuke had to go and say something like that to remind of exactly who he was with. Kakashi tried not to growl in frustration. He hated that his body reacted to what the raven was doing to him.

That mouth and those confident fingers continued in their quest and it wasn’t long until they struck gold. Kakashi screamed out at the stimulation. Sasuke had never tried so hard to induce pleasure in Kakashi before and his prostate was receiving a full assault. In combination with Sasuke’s mouth he couldn’t help but give in and let those lustful sounds be pulled from him. The shame would have to creep in later for now he was overwhelmed with stimulation.

Kakashi’s legs were shaking and his body gleamed with sweat. This only spurred Sasuke on further and he was relentlessly jabbing at that bundle of nerves, not giving Kakashi a moment’s respite. Soon it was all too much for the older ninja and his legs gave in. Before he could buckle to his knees though the raven haired man leaned forwards and caught his silver lover with his free arm. He skilfully lowered Kakashi to the floor before picking up his pace again with his ministrations. 

Kakashi barely registered that he was lying on the floor before he felt his imminent organism almost reaching its peak.

“I- I’m going to-”

Just then Sauke’s free hand tightly gripped the base of Kakashi’s erection, preventing him from completion. He let Kakashi’s cock once again drop from his mouth but kept up the attentions to his prostate. It was enough to drive Kakashi crazy and he didn’t understand what was going on. 

He looked in pained confusion at the teenager above him.

“You look so delicious. All vulnerable as you shake with pleasure, legs spread wantonly before me. Just for me.”

Kakashi hated it when Sasuke said things like that to him. It made him feel so dirty and owned. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to feel anger or resentment, not while those skillful hands made him write. He scrunched his eyes. He was so close, so so close…

“Let me cum… please.”

“And you beg me so prettily. But begging is not enough. Say my name.”

“Sasuke… please… it hurts. I need to-”

“Say it again. Louder.”

Kakashi knew where this was going. He didn’t like it but he would comply. The desperate urge wouldn’t leave until he came. His balls felt swollen, he needed to release so bad.

“Sasuke! Please!”

“Look at me Kakashi.” The raven ordered. “I said look at me.”

Kakashi obeyed. Sasuke’s intense eyes were boring into his. 

“Don’t look away. Say my name again, now. Scream it. Scream it and I will let you cum.”

For emphasis he squeezed Kakashi’s aching cock. It was painful but that only made him want to release more.

“Sasuke! Please Sasuke let me go, let me cum- SASUKE-SAMA!”

And with that Sasuke let go, finally satisfied. He had gotten what he wanted out of this, and so had Kakashi. 

Kakashi’s orgasm ripped through him, his swollen cock throbbing. Cum spilled all over his own chest and stomach. The force of it took his breath away and Kakashi lay back on the floor, naked and covered in his own sticky mess.

As he came down from his high he noticed Sasuke reach out and scoop some of his seed off him while it was still warm. 

“Mmm. Delicious. But I never expected anything less from you.”

Kakashi said nothing. When he felt life return to him he slowly rose and cleaned himself off before dressing. Sasuke looked very pleased with himself indeed but Kakashi tried to ignore the smug Uchiha. Just when he thought he had experienced everything Sasuke could put him through he introduced some new horror. And what made him feel sick beyond all reason was that he had enjoyed it. That he had been made to look into Sasuke’s eyes and scream his name in the midst of pleasure. 

Did that mean he deserved to be with Sasuke, to be treated like a whore, a pet, a thing? 

“Kakashi,” Sasuke said as his eyes continued to try and catch his. Kakashi surrendered to his gaze. “Your friend is being released today I hear.”

Finally, a distraction. “Yes. Did Sakura tell you that?”

“No. I made it my business to keep tabs on the wood user at the hospital. Though why on earth you sent him to live with such a loud oaf is beyond me.”

Kakashi bristled. “Gai will take good care of Tenzo.”

“Yamato.”

“Excuse me?”

“Drop the pet name and call him by his proper name, Yamato.”

“It’s not a pet-”

“Just do as I say!” Sasuke snapped. Why did Kakashi always have to be so difficult?

“…Fine.”

“Anyway, there is nothing more for you to do here for me. You may go see how he is settling in to his new accommodation.”

“Thank you, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi’s annoyance had already left in his eagerness to see his friend. Though he was sure those butterflies he could feel in his stomach were not for Yamato’s sake, but for his other friend. 

 

***

 

The moment Gai left him to himself in his new room, Yamato just stood there awkwardly looking around. His home had been raided during the war when the shinobis were away fighting so he had little to unpack in terms of possessions. Kakashi had been kind enough to appeal to the Hokage for him and secure him some small funds as a war pension until he was able to secure some new work. Yamato had hoped he would be back to work sooner rather than later, but the lovely Sakura could be as protective and ferocious as Tsunade when it came to her patients; she had signed him off indefinitely.

Speaking of Tsunade, what he wouldn’t give for a strong drink with her right now. He had liked her abrupt way of speaking and the way she never sugar coated anything. It still felt awkward being around Sakura and Kakashi right now. 

Yamato’s room was small, clearly the spare bedroom of the apartment, but it still fit a double bed and wardrobe and Gai had even managed to squeeze in a bedside table. Luckily they were a sunny yellow rather than a brash orange or green- thank kami. The walls were an inoffensive white so all in not bad. 

Yamato aimlessly opened and closed the wardrobe doors and sat on the mattress. For a while he sat there gazing into space. He had little to occupy himself in Suna, nothing to pass the days, so he had developed a habit of spacing out and shutting down his mind. But after a while his nose caught a whiff of something that he couldn’t ignore.

Unable to hide how interested he was, Yamato ran to the kitchen. There Gai was in a ridiculous bright apron chopping peppers. Before him was a large salad bowl. Yet this was not what Yamato’s nose had picked up…

“Good evening, Yamato-san!” Gai boomed. “According to your diet plan you need to eat plenty of nutrients and vitamins. So why not start with a five-a-day healthy salad? I also have some sesame rolls for some carbs aaaaand,” here Gai turned and pulled some glazed chicken grills out of the oven. “Lemon and thyme chicken!”

“Gai-san… wow, just…” Yamato’s eyes were welling up at both the delicious smells and Gai’s thoughtfulness. What a kind and generous man. He owed Yamato nothing and yet here he was offering his home and food, cooking for him with such care. “Thank you, Gai-san.”

“Honestly it is no problem. And now that we are roommates, maybe it is best we drop the honorifics, eh? I am sure we will get to know each other properly in no time!”

Yamato smiled. “Yes I suppose one can’t help but become familiar with who they live with.”

Gai twirled around and pointed elaborately at the other man. “I see a youthful new friendship on the horizon!” 

Yamato laughed. Did Gai always have this effect on people? He hadn’t felt so warm since… since forever really. It was hard to recall good memories these days. “Thank you, Gai. You shouldn’t have put yourself to any trouble.”

“It was nothing. The least I could do for the kohai of my esteemed rival.”

Yamato hoped that he too would become Gai’s friend in time, not merely a favour to Kakashi or a burden. “Can I help with the food at all?” Yamato asked instead to change the subject.

“I’m pretty much done here so I’ll just plate up the chicken and we can head to the table. If you would be so kind as to carry over the utensils and salad it would be most-”

“Yep, got it!” Yamato said quickly. He hoped Gai’s superfluous way of talking would switch off eventually, maybe once they were more at ease with each other. Surely he didn’t talk like this all the time?

Yamato headed to the table and started to set the places when he realised there were extra. “Oh, is someone joining us?”

“My rival, of course! Today is your first day here and therefore your welcome party!” He then brought up a few bottles of beer with a cheeky grin. “I know you aren’t supposed to indulge yet strictly speaking but Sakura-chan isn’t here and the nurse said small amounts in moderation…”

Once again Yamato was floored by Gai’s thoughtfulness. 

There came a tap at the window before Kakashi pulled it all the way out and climbed in.

“I see you still don’t like doors, senpai.” Yamato deadpanned, starting to feel much more like his old self was coming back. These two were bringing it out of him. 

“Maa, it’s not that I don’t like doors, but that I like windows so much more,” Kakashi quipped back. Though it was hard to tell in his mask he was beaming at the sight of Tenzo looking so much better. “Here I got you a moving in gift.” 

Kakashi rummaged in his flak jacket pocket and brought out a bag which he passed to his kohai.

“Walnuts, my favourite. You remembered senpai.” Yamato smiled at him.

“Of course. Eat in moderation though or Sakura will have my head! Is she joining us tonight by the way?”

“Sadly Sakura-chan has to work tonight. She came by earlier to send her apologies.”

“I see,” Kakashi said. He was getting nervous about the unresolved tension with Gai, and was glad Tenzo was here. He still felt like something gross was crawling over his body after the day’s events and he didn’t feel like he deserved to be anywhere near Gai. Especially when Gai was being so amazing as usual in helping Tenzo.

They sat down to eat and Kakashi felt like the tension was easing a bit. The food was healthy and fresh, just how Kakashi liked it. He really wasn’t keen on foods that were too sweet or greasy. Ramen with Naruto or Minato-sensei had always been the exception. 

Though it made his stomach cramp up in fear at first, Kakashi made himself address his kohai as he always had: Tenzo. Kakashi reasoned with himself that it would seem odd to his friends if he suddenly stopped. It also felt like a small victory to rebel against Sasuke’s orders in this at least; how truly pathetic he had become. For now though Sasuke was not around to hear him so ‘Tenzo’ it was. As long as he made sure to say ‘Yamato’ in front of Sasuke then no one would be hurt, his friends wouldn’t suspect anything and Kakashi could keep a small piece of his pride intact.

Later as they cleared the table, Gai insisted on Yamato forgoing such a task on his first night to get some rest. Yamato hesitated to comply initially but his first day out of hospital really had overwhelmed him. He could feel a slight head ache forming and soon retired.

Which left Kakashi and Gai alone.

Kakashi being Kakashi carried on as if everything was fine and ignored the green elephant in the room. He washed up the dishes which gave him an excuse to face away from Gai.   
Rather than collecting the remaining dishes though, the green beast simply stared at his rival. Kakashi had removed his jonin vest earlier in the evening, and Gai could see subtle hints of the shoulder blades and muscles moving as he worked. His figure seemed thinner and less toned than it once was and Gai wondered why he wasn’t training much anymore. Did Sasuke work him that hard? Or did Kakashi not feel the need now they were no longer at war? Gai wished Kakashi would talk to him more.

But more than anything esle right now he wanted nothing more than to hold him. 

It had been so long since their moment they shared, their kiss. Yet Gai remembered each sensation as if it was yesterday. And now Kakashi was here with him, alone. Kakashi had come to him for help and entrusted a precious person to him. Maybe they really could make this work after all…

He held his breath and took a step closer. Kakashi froze. Gai stepped forward again so he was right behind Kakashi’s back. Close enough for Kakashi to feel his hot breath tickle the back of his neck.

“Kakashi,” Gai began. “We need to-”

“No. No, we don’t need to talk. Let’s not complicate things any further.”

“They already are complicated. I love you. I can’t stop thinking about you. And that kiss- you kissed me back! I know you must feel something for me or-”

“No Gai,” Kakashi said more confidently than he felt, ignoring the screaming in his heart. “No, I can’t- I don’t want this-”

“’Don’t’ or ‘can’t’, Kakashi? A very telling first choice of words.” Feeling like he was getting through to his love, Gai pushed further. He placed each arm either side of Kakashi on the kitchen surface, boxing the copy ninja in; so close but not touching; so near yet so far.

Kakashi closed his eyes and took a breath. He wanted nothing more than to let go and lean back against that strong chest. To feel safe and protected and whole, no longer like some toy for the Hokage. But he couldn’t have that with Gai for Gai’s own safety. 

So for one moment he allowed himself to lean back just enough to feel Gai’s warmth. And Gai didn’t miss it. He closed his eyes breathed in the scent of his rival. He could just feel it in his bones, in his heart, that his beloved rival felt the same but was holding back. In that moment he knew.

Then it was time for Kakashi to break the illusion and come back to cold, hard reality.

He turned around and firmly pushed past Gai. 

“I can’t be with you, Gai. Not now, not ever.”

Gai’s face looked anguished. His heart felt like it was crumbling away each time he put himself through this with Kakashi. “Why can’t you? I’m not buying it Kakashi, something is going on with you. We’ve known each other nearly our whole lives. I can’t lose you.”

“And you won’t. Not as a friend anyway. And friendship is all I can offer you right now.”

“’Right now’… does that mean…?”

“Gai, just stop reading so much into things! Don’t put words in my mouth!” Kakashi snapped. He was desperately trying not to raise his voice so Tenzo wouldn’t hear. “Please, I’m bad news, everyone who loves me gets hurt. Just stay away. I can only be you’re friend Gai, take it or leave it!”

Gai looked hurt. He didn’t want to force Kakashi to choose. If friendship was all Kakashi could give right now he would take it. For the sake of Yamato and Kakashi he should bury his feelings once again; even if it broke his heart in the process.

“OK Kakashi, you win.”

Gai’s voice sounded hollow, his throught sore as if he had a cough.

Somehow Kakashi didn’t like he had won. He only felt despair and disappointment, mingled with his relief for Gai’s safety.

“You win. I won’t push you anymore. Your friendship means the world to me and I would never destroy it for my own selfish desires. Now is not the time to push you and I would never pressure you into something you don’t want.” Gai paused and took a deep breath of grim determination.

“However.

“I still believe in us. I believe in our future together just as strongly as I believed in that kiss. And I want you to know that although I am backing down from actively pursuing you, I will always be here for you and I will always love you. Only you Kakashi. I will be waiting for you, always. However long it takes. I will wait for you until the day you come to me and face your feelings, and you make the first move. When you are ready you will come to me on your own. I believe in us.”


	43. Chapter 43

“He seems to be doing OK, y’know,” Sakura said as she lay back on the grass in Konoha’s park. It had been about three weeks now since Yamato-taichou had left her care at Konoha hospital and she was pleased with how he had settled. She and Kakashi hadn’t done anything together, just the two of them, in a while and Sakura wanted not only to spend some time with him but get him doing something normal again. His current situation was not in any way health and she hoped being near nature would do some good for Kakashi’s mental wellbeing. 

“Yeah Tenzo seems to be settling in well. He isn’t one hundred percent yet, but that is to be expected I guess after all he has been through.”

“He won’t be one hundred percent for a while. But at least he is attending his therapy… you know, I could always set some up for you too.”

Kakashi snorted. “Thanks for the offer but I doubt it would go down well with Sasuke if I disappear regularly to discuss what an asshole he is.”

“That’s not all therapy is about you know.”

“No thanks, Sakura it isn’t for me. The last thing I want is to try and disseminate my feelings about my forced relationship.”

Sakura sighed. “You can be so stubborn.”

“You can be so pushy.”

“Like a good doctor.”

“Or an uptight grandma.”

Their eyes met and they both burst out laughing. 

“I’ve missed this,” Sakura said, nudging her friend with her shoulder.

“Me too.”

They lay next to each other in companionable silence. Sakura was happy she was here right now with her friend. She was happy Yamato-taichou was back in the village. She was happy Gai-san was helping them to support him, and of course to support her training.

“Gai-sensei is having a positive effect on Yamato-taichou. Who would have thought? I had never imagined them two becoming close friends.”

Kakashi turned to look at her, mildly surprised. “Close friends? They haven’t been living together that long.”

“Yeah but they have really hit it off. You were right, Kakashi, Gai-sensei is just what he needed to snap him out of what happened.”

Kakashi looked thoughtful. “I knew he would be. Back when I was young and in a similar state Gai was the only one who got through to me.”

“Perhaps he could get through to you now?”

“Sakura, it’s bad enough you know about Sasuke, let alone someone as head strong and rash as Gai. Gai would try to confront him and Sasuke would kill him! It’s hopeless, none of us can lay a finger on him. Naruto tried and failed, I tried and failed.”

Sakura’s green eyes were wet. “You shouldn’t have sent me away during that fight, Kakashi. I could have helped you; you should have trusted me.”

“I trusted you to protect Naruto’s body and get yourself to safety. It’s what Naruto would have wanted. Besides it wouldn’t have made a difference had you stayed. Neither of us could have defeated him.”

“You know, everyone always underestimates me. Including you sensei,” Sakura sat up and looked towards the clouds floating above. She winced at how accusatory she sounded; she hadn’t meant to be. She added in a quiet voice, “If you had let me fight Sasuke alongside you we may have won that day."

“Sakura you know I owed it Naruto to never allow you to take that risk.”

“I wish you had… then he might never have hurt you.”

 

***

 

It was late afternoon and by now the clouds had gathered, blocking what had been a warm sun. The darker light seemed to reflect Yamato’s mood though as he wandered with his hands in his pockets. Since he had moved in with Gai things has been better. He felt much more able to come to terms with what happened somehow when he was around that booming voice and positive energy. 

But then when Gai went out he was alone again, and the dark thoughts crept back to claim him. 

Today had been especially bad. They had been low on food in the fridge and Yamato had suddenly panicked, and it had brought those feelings back. The feeling of hunger, of being starved for months. The knawing in his stomach that refused to leave and the desperate surge of his heart when he was presented with some old scrapes or stale bread. He was so ashamed of how pathetic he had been. And the laughter. The sick laughter of Orochimaru and Kabuto was something he would never forget. Sometimes he heard it in his dreams and woke covered in sweat with his heart racing.

Then he would relive the things he would rather forget. Like the time Orochimaru made him lick the bottom of his boots in exchange for some mochi- half eaten, partially chewed mochi- or the time when Kabuto had let him use the shower for once rather than the hose or dirty bucket to wash only to have Kabuto unzip his fly and take a piss on him after, making him dirtier than he had been before the shower. 

So much pain. So much humiliation.

It was impossible for Yamato to fall back to sleep again after remembering scenes like that.

He never wanted anyone to see him so vulnerable and wild again. He had been kept and treated as little more than an animal. And Yamato wanted nothing more than to be human again. To feel again.

And for some reason he was finding that Gai’s presence helped him to feel.

Yamato rounded the corner, walking a familiar route towards the Hokage mountain. It was then he saw something he hadn’t noticed before; a large and dominating statue of the most beautiful stone. Surrounding it were the starkly bright and contrasting roses in red and black. It took a moment for his hazy thoughts to clear up as he realised that it was a statue of Uchiha Itachi. And that kneeling in front of the engraved words beneath it was none other than Uchiha Sasuke, their Hokage. The boy he had once tried to track down and rescue with Naruto. 

Yamato froze, unable to tear himself away from the eerie sight. After a few minutes of open-mouthed staring he started to turn, but the Hokage called out to him.

“I know you are there. There is no point sneaking off now.”

Yamato coughed awkwardly. He hadn’t meant to sneak off but thought it wasn’t his place to interrupt. That and he was in no position to offer comfort or kind words to another right now.

“That hadn’t been my intention. I did not wish to disturb you.”

“But you were OK to stare?”

Yamato said nothing. He couldn’t deny it yet he couldn’t find a way to explain himself. 

Sasuke sighed. “Not that it matters really. I suppose this is the first time you have seen me since you arrived at my home that night?”

“And the first time I have seen this,” Yamato gestured to the statue. “Your brother was a brave and selfless man.”

Sasuke’s look was suspicious and angry. They watched him accusingly, judging if Yamato was genuine. “What do you know of my brother? Where were you when he was made to slaughter his own family to protect you?”

Yamato found it hard to react to his anger on an emotional level. “Probably working for the same man who ordered him to do so, most likely carrying out orders I would also come to regret in ROOT.”

Sasuke’s eyes bore into Yamato’s deadened ones. He seemed to calm when he saw that Yamato meant what he said. “So he used you too?”

“Not on the same level as your bother, but Danzo used many of us young shinobi in ROOT to carry out his dirty work. We were all loyal to him because we believed it was for the good of the village and the future generations. Now I am not so sure it was.”

Sasuke nodded, satisfied yet agitated. He was never at ease when talking about his brother and he always found it hard to control his anger whenever he thought of Itachi. He had had some revenge in the deaths of Danzo, the village elders and the kages but he still felt empty and anguished. He had installed his reign of peace yet he didn’t feel at peace with the fate of his brother and his clan. He feared he never would. 

Yamato felt that the silence from the sullen Hokage was oppressive and intense and something he just couldn’t deal with right now, so he changed the subject to something he had been meaning to talk to the Hokage about. 

“Thank you… for arranging my release.” He just couldn’t bring himself to say _for saving me_. It felt so pitiful even if it was true.

Sasuke nodded. “I am glad you have returned… and…” the raven hesitated here, unsure whether to go on. He also didn’t like showing his vulnerable side. “And I am sorry for what that snake did to you. I myself know the depths of his sadism.”

For a moment Yamato wanted to ask what Sasuke had seen or what had been done to him. Or even worse, what had he done to others to please his teacher? But the look on Sasuke’s face warned not to ask. And Yamato decided nothing good could come in dwelling on the cruelty of the sanin.

 

***

 

It was a while later that Gai found Yamato sitting by his living room window, staring out of it. The last rays of the sun were creeping away to give way to the night, temperature starting to drop outside. Gai didn’t need to be a genius like Kakashi to sense that Yamato was in a melancholy mood today.

“Greetings my roommate! I am glad you’re home. I have something planned for dinner I hope you will find agreeable.”

Yamato said nothing, only made a non-committal noise.

Gai frowned and approached his charge. “Yamato? Is something wrong?”

Slowly the brunette turned his head to look at the older man. “I saw Sasuke today.”

Gai kept his face from giving anything away. After all Sasuke had done some good things so he tried not to judge or jump to conclusions. “Oh?”

“He seemed…” Yamato hesitated. “He was kneeling before his brother’s statue. We spoke. About the past. About ROOT.”

“Hm,” Gai nodded. “Just be careful around him. I’ve already warned Kakashi; that boy rules on his emotions and allows personal feuds to cloud his judgement.”

Yamato met Gai’s eyes. “It was almost unnerving how much hate he still harbours. If I was feeling like my old self I would have been scared.”

Gai’s eyes were concerned. For Yamato who had trouble connecting to his old self, and for his rival who was around the Hokage. Yamato didn’t miss the look of concern and it struck him that this was the first very serious conversation he had had with Gai.

“Do you think Kakashi-senpai is OK being around Sasuke so much?”

“Do not worry about my rival; he can handle Sasuke. He was the boy’s sensei remember? I didn’t mean to worry you. I had just hoped that with time our Hokage would have been more at peace with the past. But with a smart and level-headed advisor like Kakashi to help him he will do good by the village and the surviving world.”

“You really have that much faith in Kakashi-senpai?”

“Of course!”

Yamato smiled hesitatingly. “Then I do too.” But then the small smile fell from his face and he turned back to the window. “I just wish I had as much faith in myself.”

There were footsteps behind him and then a big, warm hand on his shoulder. Gai squeezed and Yamato didn’t flinch from the touch.

“Yamato, you should have faith in yourself because we all do. You are a strong person to have made it through all you have, and you have been doing so well in re-settling in to the village. Recovery can be just as hard as the tragedy.”

“By ‘we’ do you include yourself?”

“Certainly. I know things will get better for you. Whatever demons are plaguing you, I know you can beat them.”

When Yamato turned to look at him Gai was shocked by the pain in his eyes. Yamato’s voice almost cracked as he said. “But I don’t deserve to; I’m not a good person.”

“What on earth would ever make you think that?”

Yamato started shaking and Gai was growing more and more worried about him. “You don’t understand! You don’t understand! I did things, Gai- terrible things!”

Gai’s hand stayed firm on Yamato’s shoulder. “We have all done things we wish we hadn’t had to. It is the price that comes with being a shinobi; and one reason I was never cut out for ANBU. I know from Kakashi that ANBU-”

“I’m not talking about ANBU! I’m,” Yamato closed his eyes. His next words were barely a whisper. “I nearly killed her.”

Gai wondered how far he should push. But clearly Yamato needed to get something off his chest now or he may never move on. “Who?”

“A young Kunoichi from suna. She had shared my cell for a while. She had unique abilities, that’s why they kept her there so they could try to replicate them. But they had little success and grow bored of her. Like they did with me. So one day they offered something to make us feel human, something that we both desperately craved. A hot meal, a warm bath and a real bed for the night. And a chance to leave our cell and see the sun… it had been so long since I seen anything of the world outside, beyond the four walls of my cell. I was going mad with no natural sunlight.”

Gai swallowed, trying not to cry. He couldn’t believe that bastard sanin would really treat people this way. Why on earth hadn’t Sasuke put a stop to the whole operation, not just Yamato’s plight? Maybe Sasuke didn’t hold as much power as he made out. Gai squeezed the young man’s shoulder again to let him know he was there and he could share whatever he needed to. 

“We had to fight each other. Winner got the prize. And there was no single second of hesitation from either of us. We were on each other instantly. It was savage. And when I took an advantage and had her pinned to the ground. I didn’t let up. I kept her on the floor, smothering her with my heavier weight and larger body, trying to stop her from struggling. The idea of her getting up again and snatching away my prize terrified me. So I waited for her to stop moving while our jailors applauded. Eventually Orochimaru-sama pulled me off her and, and, and she, she wasn’t-” Yamato’s breaths was frantic. “She wasn’t breathing properly. I had put too much weight on her neck, almost crushed her.”

And suddenly he burst into tears, overwhelming tears. “I’m a monster! They made me a monster! No better than an animal!”

Gai couldn’t stand it anymore. He pulled Yamato to his feet and then into a big bear hug.

“Now you listen to me. You did not act out of cruelty. You and she both did as you had to in order to survive- it is the instinct of shinobi and human nature- not an animal’s. Had she had luck on her side she would have done exactly the same to you in that fight. Your aim hadn’t been to kill but to restrain. And she survived. You both survived.”

Gai was patting Yamato’s back now as he sobbed. The younger man clung to Gai’s chest while he tried to calm down. “But she is still there. And I am here, safe… with you.”

“You can’t do anything for her now, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. It is out of your control.”

Yamato’s sobs were subsiding but Gai continued to pat his back. 

“You have had to harbour a lot and it is time to let go and let the village take care of you for a change. Let your friends and let me take care of you. You are safe now. You can’t right every wrong, you just need to focus on you.”

They stayed like this for some time.

“Th- Thank you Gai. I think I get why senpai always speaks so highly of you now- no offense. Who would have thought you could string sentences together without a mention of ‘youth’?”

Gai only laughed and pulled back from Yamato now he seemed calm. “None taken! I have my moments. But I want you to know, I am always here to talk if you need to. Any time you want.”

Gai’s voice was low and serious. Suddenly it sounded so soothing and irresistible that Yamato could have listened to it forever.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the ongoing support, and to new readers too! :) Its been a mad few months but I am back. (again....)

The three Sakuras each threw a smoke bomb at Gai from different angles. The thick haze obstructed his vision and each of the pink haired kunoichi disappeared from his range of sight. A sound to his right made him spin that way, but then a sound behind him made him turn one-eighty. A sudden thwack to his head and two lithe thighs suddenly tightening round his neck and shoulders alerted him too late to the original Sakura that came from above.

Gai found himself being chocked and no matter how much he flung himself around he was unable to un-seat the girl sitting on his shoulders. She had one hand fisted in his hair and the other holding a kunai to his neck, poised and ready for the kill. She was ferocious. Her legs held him in her death grip. Gai fell to the ground suffocating and hit the floor while flashing their sign to call a time out. Sakura’s thighs loosened and released the green beast.

Gai got up, rubbing his neck and taking in some deep breaths. His face was red and sweaty.

“Well done, Sakura-chan!” Gai boomed, though his voice was still a bit wheezy. “I couldn’t be more proud of you for mastering this technique and successfully managing to sneak up on me with clones and distractions! Even though I was expecting it! A superb feat of strength and cunning! You had me at a death point there. Had you wanted to, you could have sliced my neck and had a kill or slowly suffocated me to unconsciousness. With your power your legs alone could have crushed my neck instantly. Tsunade-sama and Kakashi taught you well. They would have been proud to witness such a display.”

Sakura beamed. “Thank you Gai-sensei. It wasn’t easy but I finally did it!”

“And you know what you have to do now right?”

Sakura didn’t know whether to groan or laugh. “So soon?”

“Yes, do it again! It’s not enough to beat me with this tactic once! You must perfect it! Now, up you get!”

“Don’t you need a rest?” She sure did! Gai however couldn’t take a hint.

“Never!” Sakura groaned in response.

After Sakura had beaten Gai twice more in their many duels, he finally relented. 

“Excellent work today, Sakura-chan. Another sharingan strategy mastered.”

“What’s next?”

“I am glad you asked. Something a little different I think.”

Sakura watched Gai. The suspense was killing her. What more was there to learn in sharingan strategy? She had already learnt so much in both theory and practical application. She felt that soon Gai would have passed on everything he knew, surely? And with her natural ability at chakra control she had an advantage in detecting genjutsu and thus was more proficient at avoiding it, especially since Gai had took her under his wing.

“Well Sakura-chan, you are a very gifted medical kunoichi with awesome super strength unmatched by anyone except your predecessor, Tsunade-sama. You have even mastered the Ninja Art Creation Rebirth Strength of a Hundred Technique! Just imagine then how strong you would be if you mastered the eight gates too.”

Here Sakura was taken aback. “What? Are you being serious?”

“Why not? You are a very talented ninja and I believe with enough practice and determination you can master at least the first gate as a minimum. Your sensei, Kakashi, has even been known to use the Gate of Opening from time to time when in a pickle.”

“But doesn’t it cause the body damage?”

“Yes, but you won’t feel it until after your fight. It would be a great skill to unveil in an emergency, as a last resort since it can leave you vulnerable. And someone with your strength, my dear, would be utterly overwhelming if your opponent was not expecting it. And with your forbidden jutsu activated straight after the fight your body could potentially heal itself of the damage. No one has tried this before but theoretically it is possible. Remember, you and Tsunade-sama are the only medical ninja who could afford to take such risks, so we will never know until you put it to the test.”

Sakura thought about it. It could be a good card up her sleeve to have. After all the best way to beat a sharingan user was the element of surprise, to catch them off guard. And Sasuke was no normal sharingan user; he had the mangekyo and the rinnegan. Luckily for her (and confirmed with Gai’s analysis) he relied on his more familiar abilities of the sharingan. Therefore this new strategy could be exactly the kind of trick she needed…

“So even the first gate will increase my strength?”

“Yes; even just the first gate would make a huge difference to your strength in battle. Usually the average shinobi uses 20% of their muscle’s strength, but by using the Gate of Opening it removes the restraints of the brain on the muscles so 100% of the user’s strength can be used. That is a massive difference. Your other ability uses all of your chakra reserves built up over a long period, but this is not the case with the gates.”

Sakura imagined the sheer damage she could cause with such an ability if she was able to get near enough to her opponent. And what would the body damage matter really? She was only planning to go all out the one time. Yes the Gates may just be exactly what she needed… Sasuke’s biggest flaw was his arrogance after all. And this he wouldn’t expect. He thought he had seen her at her best during the last war and most likely assumed that was her peak.

He never did see her as a worthy opponent. 

 

***

 

Karin was bored. She was apathetic. She had nothing to do.

Oh who was she really fooling? She was lonely. She felt displaced. She was most likely depressed. Now that they were at peace and she was no longer on the road with Sasuke, accompanying him on his personal vendettas she sometimes felt lost. She had spent so long following Sasuke, only for him to reject her love, that she had forgotten her own path. Everything she had done for the past couple of years had been for him. He was her light, her beacon on the path ahead. Now he had his power, his control, his world. His _Kakashi_. 

Yes, it hurt. It hurt a lot. But gradually that raging jealously was festering, become a part of her routine. Part of her new life. Normal.

And that was leaving her jaded, melancholy. 

Today Sasuke had even forgotten to give her much to do at work. Jugo was the one he trusted most- or could stand to be around the most out of their team anyway. And that hurt too. She knew she irritated her love at times, but she couldn’t help it. Her temper and her tendency to speak before she thought was a part of who she was. She tried to make herself more likable around Sasuke, but it never worked. Suigetsu would say something to irk her and her mask would slip.

Even more difficult for her was how she couldn’t be her true self when Kakashi accompanied Sasuke either. What she wouldn’t give sometimes to give him a piece of her mind, show him a true woman scorned- she never pretended to be nice or virtuous after all- but she couldn’t because Sasuke would only get mad at her, not at his perfect old man that he fucked.

Just thinking about them together made her blood boil. Why him? Why did he pick a battered, old teacher over a young, vibrant, _loyal_ follower. It was humiliating. Surely she had proven her worth to him, to his cause. She worked her ass off for him, put up with so much. She longed to be chosen as the one to help him continue the Uchiha clan. For Sasuke to acknowledge her. To return her feelings. 

But it seemed that was not meant to be. Unless he eventually discarded the undeserving, old man.

She snorted. Didn’t look like that would happen anytime soon.

Karin kicked at the dead leaves on the road, scuffed her feet. She took a different route to normal to explore some more of her new home. That was when she saw that strange dark haired boy, the one Sasuke had called his replacement. Sai.

She scowled automatically. What on earth was Kakashi thinking? This guy was nothing compared to her Sasuke.

The young man smiled eerily. She couldn’t put her finger on why but it seemed fake. Like he was acting the motions. He waved her over. Curious, she moved towards him. Only to have a blond girl spring out of nowhere and rattle a collection tin in her face.

“Money for the war refugees! Spare some change!”

Karin blinked in surprise, speechless. Weren’t charity representatives usually sweet old ladies? This girl was brash, loud and demanding.

“Err-”

The dark haired boy smiled sweetly and tilted his head. “Or are you too cheap?”

“Hey, what did you call me?!” Karin felt her non-existent patience break and her temple flare.

“Sai! It’s too soon for that. Let me wear her down first, then you guilt-trip her.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“So you gonna donate then?” The tin was once again trust in her face.

“No.”

“What?! Why the- oh. You’re… You’re that girl on Sasuke’s team. The one who… who helped him do all those awful things… who works with Orochimaru. Well, I shouldn’t have expected anything less from you.”

“That’s got nothing to do with it. I just don’t want to give to an undeserving cause. Sasuke-sama decreed the ones who caused the war as unworthy of Konoha’s charity. You should follow the example of your Hokage.”

“Huh. You do everything Sasuke tells you? No mind of your own?”

Karin bristled. “No, I-”

“Of course she does,” the weird guy piped up. “She has been following his orders for years.”

“Sasuke is handsome, I’ll give you that. But some of us have standards and murderers just don’t cut it.”

“Your precious kage and elders were murderers! Only they forced others to do their dirty work for them, poor children like Itachi! They deserved their fate at Sasuke’s hands. You and your war refugees disgust me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you know Itachi so well? Or are you just blindly spouting Sasuke’s poison? If you’re not careful you’ll end up just as bitter as him. And alone. He was obsessed with his own hate and revenge and look where it got us? Our friends, our comrades dead. He killed his best friend. _Our_ friend. A good friend. A good man. How could you trust someone like that? Make no mistake, you get in his way and he won’t hesitate to put the knife in your back.”

Those words froze her blood. Because deep, deep down she knew there was truth to them. When Danzo held her hostage Sasuke didn’t hesitate to stab them both. He would sacrifice her to meet his goals. She was a loyal pawn, not his lover, not his friend. She had hoped though that this had changed.

But Sasuke’s feelings would never change really, would they?

Yet still she followed him. Like a fool.

A fool in love.

 

***

 

“Excellent work today as usual Maito-san. I think you are really getting the hang of things here,” Iruka smiled indulgently. 

Gai beamed. Being so starved of praise in his youth meant that it never failed to bring a smile to his face, even though he was much too old for such behavior. Gai thanked Iruka profusely, pulling him into a hug. Iruka never quite got used to Gai’s enthusiasm. He would need to remember to wear extra layers to cushion his ribs in future. 

Just as Gai turned to leave Iruka called out to him.

“Maito-san, I don’t mean to pry but… you seem to be looking more positive- if that is even possible- lately. I take it things worked out with Hatake and he pulled the stick out of his ass?”

Gai laughed lowly, unlike his usual manner. “We are not together, no. But he has entrusted me with an important mission, to look after his precious person. I feel honoured by this as Kakashi does not trust many. I hope that… one day… things may change between us. I’ve waited all my life for him. A bit longer won’t kill me. And besides, I have made a wonderful new friend and housemate from all this. It is good for me to share my home with someone who needs it. I like helping others.”

Iruka smiled sadly. Typical Gai, always seeing the positives and using it to cover his own pain. “I know. That is one of the things that make you a better shinobi than most others I have met. I hope Hatake-san realises this too.”

“He does. He just doesn’t show it.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know him better than anyone else on this earth. His mask can’t fool me. Whatever demons are plaguing him won’t stop me. I am a patient man. I can wait.”

“Well as you say, you are the closest one to him. I hope things work out for you both. You certainly deserve a happy ending, Gai-san.”

With a final nod Gai headed home, determined not to let melancholy thoughts get him down. He grabbed onto his positive thoughts, his memories of the good times, with both hands and didn’t let go. If he did he could have drowned in his despair and that just wasn’t him. 

The moment he walked through the door his senses were assaulted. The smell hit him, the spices in the air stung his eyes, his tongue drooled- super spicy curry!

He rammed into the kitchen to find his housemate smiling- actually genuinely smiling- while chopping the vegetables for the curry sauce bubbling away on the hob. “I heard this was your favourite,” Yamato offered by way of explanation. 

“It is. Thank you. But it is I who should be cooking for you.”

Yamato waved a hand. “You have done so much for me already. Tonight just relax and let me take care of you for a change. I have run a hot bath for you already. And left a new release of your favourite marital arts manga by the side of the tub. Enjoy.”

Gai’s eyes watered. Then the manly tears spilled forth and he pulled Yamato into a bear hug. The younger blushed and laughed awkwardly, patting the larger man on the back of his green jumpsuit. 

“It’s nothing, really.”

“No, don’t say that. This is a generous and youthful gift! You are a thoughtful and kind man and-”

Yamato put his hand over Gai’s mouth to stop the tirade of youthful proclamations. “It’s OK Gai, really. You deserve nothing less. Now go, have your bath and let me cook you a feast. Then maybe we could watch one of those martial arts films you love after dinner?”

Gai gave Yamato another big squeeze then released him to give a thumbs up. “Yosh!” 

And with that Gai scampered off, leaving Yamato to finish the food. Before the war cooking had once been a hobby for him. He had loved experimenting with different cuisines from around the land. Herbs, spices, ingredients. It had never failed to challenge him in this personal life and help him unwind after missions. This was his first step back to a hobby and it made him feel more normal again. It made him feel like Yamato again.

The fact he was sharing this step with Gai made it all the better.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers! So glad you are still sticking with this. It's been a long ride, ne? But we are still going. So plot is taking over a bit now as we get into the later stages of the fic (still a way to go don't worry) but Kakashi is in this chapter with some smut.

The weeks passed, bringing with them a chill in the air. He had never really minded the cold so he didn’t dread the drop in temperature at all. In fact autumn was his favourite time of year, something he had once even looked forward to. Kakashi gazed out the window and noted that it wouldn’t be long until the leaves turned crisp and would begin to fall. His head was supported against the wall, turned to the left so he could stare outside, while his Hokage rammed into him over and over. Kakashi tried to remain a passive participant but that was hard when you were practically folded in half, legs hanging over someone’s shoulders while they fucked you mercilessly against the wall. It was a position some would find passionate. Kakashi just felt uncomfortable, squashed painfully, his thighs slick with sweat as they pressed against Sasuke’s chest.

Sasuke held Kakashi up like he was nothing and rutted in to him harder and harder, bending Kakashi more than he thought possible. The older shinobi offered no resistance, allowing himself to be dominated and fucked as if there were no tomorrow. As Sasuke came he bit down on Kakashi’s neck. Finally it was over and he would be allowed to get on with his day. Those menial tasks wouldn’t do themselves after all. Kakashi was still amazed that Sasuke never bothered trying to make any real use out of his skills as a ninja and wasted all his years of training, all so he could keep him close.

Once Sasuke caught his breath he released Kakashi and headed over to the Hokage chair on slightly shaky legs. He collapsed onto it and let out a contented sigh. Kakashi, no longer used to exercise, felt the slight burn in his leg muscles that had been stretched too much, too quickly.

“That was just what I needed,” the raven said. “Get me a towel, would you? A warm one.”

“Yes, sir.” Sasuke either didn’t pick up on Kakashi’s sarcasm or was too sated to care. 

So Kakashi scurried about doing things to make his Hoakge, his _rapist_ , comfortable. 

And the scary part was that this was all becoming normal. 

 

***

 

It took her by surprise one evening. Sakura knew training to open the gates was hard work, but she had almost been at the point of giving up as the days had dragged into weeks and nothing had happened. Theoretically she knew anyone could train to open the gates with enough effort, but most could not muster the sheer determination, withstand the pain. After all, the gates were instilled by the brain for the body’s own safety, to stop the muscles disintegrating.

And then… she did it. Quite suddenly. She hadn’t even realised it at first. Suddenly she felt a rush, a weird, indescribable sensation rip through her. She thought she had injured herself at first, jarred her spine or something. Then she felt overwhelmingly hot. Her veins literally felt like they were boiling. Was she ill?

But then Gai’s beaming face and tears of joy appeared before her, and she knew. She had done it. Finally she had mastered the first of the eight gates, the gate of opening. 

Gai didn’t touch her, he knew her skin was far too hot, and she may not be able to control her strength if she reached out to grab him in an attempt to balance herself.

Once it sunk in she let herself really feel it- the sheer power. And to think this was only the first gate! What would it be like to push herself further, to open more? She couldn’t even fathom it. But now she knew she needed to concentrate. Her usual perfect chakra control was completely thrown out here. Everything felt different. Even walking, talking, breathing. 

Hesitantly she put her hand out and reached for a thick tree branch. Her fingers curled around it, and before she had a chance to try pulling it off with her newfound strength she accidently crushed it beneath her fingers.

“Woah!” Even her voice was deeper, with the strain of controlling her throat muscles in this condition.

“Excellent Sakura-chan! I’m so proud of you! But be careful- I never thought I would say this to you, but you really don’t know your own strength!”

“Gai-sensei… I, I did it!” She gazed at her own hand in wonder.

Gai gave her a thumbs up. “Yosh! And now, let’s get to it.”

“To what?”

Gai had his back to her and looked over his shoulder, his eyes nearly obscured by his bushy brows. “Now, Sakura-chan, the real training begins.” And with that he took a fighting stance. “It is time to put your new found power to the test!”

Over and over again they clashed, taijutsu and speed vs overwhelming power. They thought until poor Sakura was exhausted and could fight no more. She almost collapsed after, unused to the pain and strain this technique put on the body. Before she could fall to the ground though Gai caught her in his arms. 

“Ah Sakura-chan don’t go falling down on me! We need to squeeze in at least another round.” Sakura’s eyes went wide and Gai burst out laughing. “Just kidding! When one uses the eight gates you must learn when to stop, or your body suffers the consequences. Push too hard and your body will not live to fight another day.”

Sakura let out an exhausted sigh as Gai lowered her on the grass. She had to take a few moments to catch her breath and then the full extent of the aches in her body made themselves known. It felt as if her muscles had been ripped, it was quite painful. If this was only the after effects of the first gate she couldn’t imagine the rest.

“You get used to it,” Gai explained. “And it becomes more bearable, particularly with the early gates. The higher you go the more it hurts, and the greater risk of permanent damage.”

Sakura watched Gai, puzzled. “Weren’t you scared? What if it had caused serious damaged- before you opened the final gate I mean?”

Gai laughed. “Not when my precious people depended on it. Not when there was no other way for me, a shinobi who cannot use ninjutsu, to protect the people I love. But yes, I often worried that after using the gates I would never get back up again to fight another day. Being a shinobi was my life after all, and I had to work harder than most to prove myself to the village. I lacked the natural talent of someone like your sensei.”

“Ah, Kakashi-sensei. You were in the same class as him in the academy right? And you remained good friends all these years.”

A dark look crossed Gai’s face. “Friends, right.” Gai was suddenly looking at her intently. Sakura felt the beginnings of dread in her stomach. Gai seemed to hesitate for a moment, frowning. Then a look of determination appeared that she had only before seen on him during battle. Something felt odd. “Sakura-chan, have you seen your sensei recently?”

Oh no, not this again. She had gathered from their earlier training sessions that Kakashi had been avoiding Gai, but with Yamato moving in with Gai she hadn’t thought this was still a problem. How could it be, Kakashi was still visiting Gai and Yamato she was sure of it… then why was Gai looking at her like that? Why was Gai asking her if she had seen Kakashi? It just didn’t add up. And she had the feeling she really didn’t want to know. How much more bad news could she take? Kakashi’s secrets were destroying her as well as Kakashi himself. When her friends suffer, she suffers. She was barely holding it together a lot of the time, she felt wretched.

“Yes, I have. Our schedules don’t permit us to see each other as much as we’d like but I have seen him this week.”

“Oh. Is he… how is he?”

“He is,” she hesitated. There was no way she could tell him the truth. That Kakashi was living a miserable existence and was raped on a daily basis. Because even if Kakashi had stopped resisting, there was no denying what it truly was. Rape. Kakashi had not consented. He had never had a choice.

Gai however, could never know. After all Kakashi had made her promise never to tell anyone, and his words back then had been ‘especially Gai’. The older sensei had always been quite protective of his best friend, that she knew. Yet the puppy look he was giving her now made her feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t just the lie she was about to tell, but the desperate glint in his eyes.

“He is fine,” Sakura finished, yet Gai seemed unsatisfied with this. He still had that pleading look. 

Gai was silent for a moment (very unusual for him!) and then he prodded further. “Did he… did he mention me at all… when you last saw him…?” 

Sakura couldn’t hide her surprise. “Why would he…” 

And then it clicked. It all made sense now. How hadn’t she seen this before?! She felt like such and idiot! She had seen this in the mirror, this was how she looked when she had been asking others after Sasuke all those years ago.

“Oh my gosh… you…” she drew a sharp breath with the shock, her green eyes widening. 

Kakashi specifically asking her not to tell Gai about Sasuke, Gai’s concern about Kakashi during their initial training sessions, those big pleading eyes. Sakura had always assumed they were just very good friends. Gai was weird, Kakashi was weird, and they had a weird rivalry-friendship thing. But now it was so, so clear. Kakashi had been clearly distancing himself from Gai, Gai had seemed unusually concerned, unusually vulnerable. It all made sense… Kakashi had been avoiding Gai before in order to protect him…

Did Kakashi know about Gai’s feelings? Did he return them?

Gai looked away sadly, nervously. “It is… is it that obvious?” Gai asked Sakura.

“No, I mean, you seemed close but I only just- how long have you…?”

“Always. Since the moment I laid eyes on him.”

Sakura drew in another breath. She really had not expected this. But it did kind of make sense. Gai-sensei never did anything half-heartedly after all, why should he love any differently?

“Oh my gosh.”

“Sakura-chan, this is a secret I have carried almost my whole life. Only you and one other trusted colleague knows so please respect this information and keep it between us.”

Sakura couldn’t believe this- not that Gai loved Kakashi, but the shitty situation. If Gai loved Kakashi this much and for this long imagine how he would react when he found out about Sasuke- the man had already opened the eighth gate when Kakashi had been in danger from Madara! And look how that had panned out. A noble but ultimately useless sacrifice. Kakashi was right; Gai could never find out the truth.

“Of course I won’t. But does Kakashi know?”

Gai nodded solemnly. 

Sakura’s face went ashen. Oh no… poor Gai… poor Kakashi.

“Oh Gai, I’m so sorry. And he turned you down.”

“His words turn me away, but his heart gives him away.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not a hopeless cause, I know it. He loves me too. I can see it Sakura, in his eyes, his expression, his body language. I felt it in his kiss-”

“His KISS?!”

Gai’s eyes snapped to her, alarmed. “Yes, we kissed not so long ago. Before Yamato-san returned to the village.”

What the hell was Kakashi thinking?! Was he trying to get them both killed? If Sasuke had any inkling of what they had done, of Gai’s feelings… of Kakashi’s feelings… Sakura couldn’t stop the look of pure horror twisting her face.

She feared for Gai. She feared for Kakashi losing another loved one. She feared losing another friend to that monster.

Gai watched as Sakura’s face transformed to a look of horror at his words, the word ‘kiss’. Did she really… was she truly that disgusted by it… was this partly why Kakashi didn’t accept him? Was Sakura adverse to male relationships or… no it must be the idea of him with her beloved sensei. She must think he was not good enough. After all Kakashi was intelligent, successful, beautiful. And Gai was nothing. A worn out, ugly, teacher who couldn’t even use the gates anymore. Why would she want him with a man such as Kakashi?

Sakura was freaking out. She couldn’t handle this new information. Gai had no idea of the danger he was in. The danger Kakashi was in. If Sasuke was hurting him like this now, imagine if he found out about Gai, about the kiss… dread fell to the bottom of her stomach. She thought she might be sick.

“I- I’m sorry I have to go!”

And with that she ran. She ran as fast as she could, as long as she could, ignoring the tearing, aching pain in her body. It felt like stiches were being ripped from her. Her breathing was hard, it hurt her chest. But she didn’t stop. She ran until there was no trace of Gai’s presence.

When she finally came to a stop she was on the roof of somewhere that felt familiar. Somewhere that felt like home. Ichiraku ramen.

Somehow she had ended up on the roof of Ichiraku ramen, as if it were fate, as if Naruto had guided her there. She made a weird sound, somewhere between a laugh and a cry.  
“Oi! Sakura-chan. What are you doing up there looking lost? The entrance is down here.”

Sakura glanced down to find someone she hadn’t seen for a while. Someone who in normal circumstances would bring a smile to her face. But still she looked haggard, looked like she might throw up or burst into tears at any moment. She hadn’t realised she was shaking.

Iruka-sensei must have noticed this.

“Sakura-chan come down here and let your old sensei treat you to some ramen, ne?”


End file.
